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Dance Machines

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Shoyo Hinata added: Asahi Azumane, Daichi Sawamura, Koshi Sugawara, Yuu Nishinoya, Tadashi Yamaguchi, Kei Tsukishima, and Ryu Tanaka to a groupchat. 

Ryu Tanaka set the groupchat name to Shitty Boys

Daichi: Hinata I said everyone.

Hinata: yeah, this is everyone

Suga added: Tobio Kageyama to the chat.

Hinata: :/

Kageyama: Why am I in this?

Tsukishima : They were literally talking about it in practice, idiot.

Nishinoya: it’s for volley-boys!!!! we should add more people!!

Daichi: No it’s supposed to just be for Karasuno.

Hinata added: Tooru Oikawa and Kenma Kozume to the chat.  

Sugawara: You shouldn’t have even tried

Hinata: these are my best friends Oikawa and Kenma!! They play at different schools!!! 

Oikawa: ew, tobio.

Kageyama: literally what did i do.

Kenma: Oikawa don’t bully someone you haven’t met.

Oikawa: I’ve met tobio. Wish i hadn’t tho 😔

Kageyama : literally what did i do

Tsukishima: breathe?:)

Oikawa added: Kuroo to the chat.

-

Groupchat: Golden Trio Heart Eyes

Members: Kenma Kozume, Tooru Oikawa, and Shoyo Hinata

Kenma: o

Kenma: literally why did you do that to me

Kenma: all he’s going to do is flirt with me

Kenma: he’s going to embarrass me

Kenma: Oikawa you’re my enemy 

Kenma: forever and always

Oikawa: :(

 

-

 

Shitty Boys

Oikawa : This is Kuroo, he also plays volleyball.

Kuroo: Everyone say hi Kuroo

Asahi: hi kuroo

Nishinoya: hi kuroo 

Yamaguchi: hi kuroo

Tsukishima: hi kuroo

Kageyama: hi kuroo

Hinata: HI KUROO!!!

Tanaka: hi kuroo

Tanaka: where are Daichi and Suga

Tanaka: unprofessionalism at its finest.

Tsukishima: what does that even mean?

Nishinoya: it means unprofessionalism at its finest. 

Oikawa: Kenma’s been real quiet since Kuroo got here🤔

 

-

 

Golden Trio Heart Eyes

Kenma: oikawa don‘t think i won’t kill you.

-

 

Shitty Boys

Kuroo: KENMA’S HERE? 

 

-

 

Kenma and Kuroo

Kuroo: when he’s too embarrassed to say hi to me in the groupchat 😍

Kenma: Stopppp

Kenma: I hate group chats

Kenma: AND SO DO YOU???

Kuroo: I know, I’m probably gonna mute it soon lol.

Kenma: it’s been muted since the moment I was added;)

Kuroo: hmmm that’s a big brain you got there

Kuroo: Do u and ur big brain wanna get dinner together in an hour?:)

Kenma: pizza and video games?:)

Kuroo : sounds like a date!:)

 

-

 

Shitty Boys:

 

Daichi: tanaka what did u say about suga 

Tanaka: 😳

Sugawara: literally go to sleep!! both of you!!!

Nishinoya: u guys sleep?

Nishinoya: it’s only 2am

Asahi : ONLY 2AM?

Asahi: i’m trying to sleep stop blowing up the chat

Tsukishima: you’re blowing up the chat by telling him to not blow up the chat

Daichi: literally GO TO SLEEP don’t think I won’t murder you guys in practice tomorrow

Nishinoya : 😳

 

-

 

Daichi and Suga

Daichi: goodnight ❤️

Sugawara: ❤️


-

 

Asahi and Nishinoya

Nishinoya: did the groupchat actually wake you up

Asahi: yes

Nishinoya: i’m sorry, i know you have issues falling asleep sometimes

Nishinoya: do you want me to call you?

Nishinoya: I know that helped last time. And like. I’m not saying hearing your voice until i fell asleep helped me fall asleep but

Nishinoya: maybe it would be benefiting both of us?

Nishinoya: ahhhhahaha maybe?

Nishinoya: incoming call from: Asahi <3

 

--

 

Nishinoya and Tanaka:

Nishinoya: so in case you’re wondering, because i know it’s constantly on your mind

Tanaka: YOU’RE DATING ASAHI

Nishinoya: NO but i did fall asleep on the phone with him again last night

Tanaka: a dream this is literally a dream

Tanaka: now ask him out

Nishinoya: don’t be ridiculous

Nishinoya: btw where are you class is about to start

Nishinoya: i’m staring at your empty seat with tears in my beautiful eyes

Tanaka: lol

Tanaka: I'm going to the gas station, wanna come w ?

Nishinoya: of course i’m leaving now 😙✌🏼

 

-

 

Shitty Boys

Nishinoya: lol guess who just got off the phone with their very angry parents 😼

 

-

 

Kuroo and Kenma:

Kuroo : so idk why but i saw an emoji

Kuroo: not saying which one

Kuroo: and it reminded me of you for some reason but i need to text u to say i miss you literally the most right now 

Kuroo: i’m crying i’m shaking i miss my kenma

Kenma: i saw you two hours ago

Kuroo: still :(

Kenma: i’m so in love with you

Kuroo: zroom zroom i’m coming over so i can kiss your cute ass face

 

-

 

Shitty Boys

 

Asahi: why are your parents mad at you???

Nishinoya: they found out i’m failing one of my english classes :(

Asahi: maybe because you never go..

Nishinoya: literally who said i was talking to you asahi

Nishinoya: these messages aren’t directed for you

Nishinoya: someone else answer please

Nishinoya: i’m failing english :(

Daichi: maybe because you never go..

Nishinoya: i’m failing english :(

Hinata: it’s okay me too

Oikawa: HINATA?

Kageyama: me too

Tanaka: me too.

Kenma: i literally don’t want to be in this groupchat anymore

 

-

 

Kuroo: i’m so in love

Kenma: stop

Kageyama: what

Oikawa: me too

Daichi: me too

Tsukishima: what

Hinata: what

Yamaguchi : me too

Kuroo: what

Kuroo: with who

Kuroo: wait with who

Nishinoya: me too

Kuroo: what

Kageyama: me too

Kuroo: what’s going on

Kuroo: i didn’t mean to start this

Kuroo: but like lol do tell???

 

--

Kuroo : so no one is gonna talk?

Daichi : srry they were at practice

Kuroo: for TWO DAYS?

Daichi: can’t talk gotta get back to practice

Kuroo: i hate it here

 

 

Nishinoya and Tanaka:

Nishinoya: RYU RYU RYU!!!!! 

Tanaka: shut up SHUT UP SHUT UP DON’T TELL ME

Tanaka: YOU’RE DATING ASAHI
Nishinoya: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he do be KISSIN ME THO!!!!!!!!

Tanaka: this is THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE

 






Chapter Text

Kuroo changed the group name to Kageyama PLEASE

Tanaka: What?

Hinata: What? 

Daichi: What?

Kenma: Kuro please stop.

Kuroo: I need you

Oikawa:

Hinata: What does that even mean?

Kenma: Kuro you’re being a freak. You’ll scare him

Kuroo: No no. I need you as a friend.

Tsukishima: Who needs that?

Hinata: Sounds gross

Kuroo: I just NEED his friendship

Kuroo: Why isn’t heRESPONDING KAGEYAMA

Tsukishima: He’s an idiot, give him some time

Kuroo: Wait wait wait, KaGAYama

Yamaguchi: Hilarious, I’m sure no one has ever said that to him before

Kageyama: KaBIyama*

Kageyama: I ruined the joke but just saying

Kuroo: PLESAE SCROLL UP

Kenma: Kageyama, please read what he wants so he can calm down

Kenma: I just want to take a nap

Kageyama: I thought we already were but sure. 

Kageyama: We can be friends :-)

Oikawa: Boooooo

Yamaguchi: Awww look at you Kageyama, making friends and stuff

Hinata: Wait

Hinata: Kageyama is bi?

Daichi: I thought we all knew that?

Oikawa: Why didn’t you tell me?? 

Kageyama: I didn’t think it mattered that much

Oikawa: But like

Oikawa: Why didn’t you tell

Oikawa: me?

Kageyama: I didn’t think you’d care?

Tsukishima: you're lowkey rude to him?

Oikawa: ARE YOU NOT?

Kageyama: That’s different

Oikawa: Do you not trust me?

Kageyama: You’re making this a way bigger deal than it needs to be

Kageyama: It wasn’t like I was having a crisis or like, I wasn’t hiding it. I just never brought it up to anyone really.

Kageyama: Unless it came up in conversation.

Kageyama: Now I feel bad.

Kageyama: Well, I guess since things are weird now. I’m bi

Kuroo: I’m Kenma-sexual😎

Kenma: Kuro stop

Yamaguchi: Does that mean you’re attracted to all people named Kenma?

Kenma: Better fucking not be

Kuroo: Never bbg 😻

Oikawa: Well, because I forced Tobio, I should say mine. I’m gay 🥴

Kenma: I don’t think of sexuality often so I’ll get back to you once I have a specific one I guess

Oikawa: Ask me who I’m gay for

Daichi: I guess we’re pretty similar there Kenma, I just sorta, like people I guess? If I do, great. If I don’t, that’s fine.

Suga: Aw, it’s like a little coming out party.

Suga: I’m gay

Oikawa: Great. Now ask me who I’m gay for

Nishinoya: I heard coming out party 👀 

Nishinoya: Omg kageyama we’re bi buddies

Nishinoya: 😈😈😈

Tsukishima: I guess I’m a part of the bi buddies too then…

Yamaguchi: PAN

Tanaka: Guess I’m the only straight one on the team 

Hinata: Did you forget about me?

Tanaka: Guess I’m the only straight one on the team.

Hinata: I

Hinata: Am

Hinata: Straight

Hinata: ... 

Oikawa: Someone please

Oikawa: Ask who I’m gay for

Sugawara: OH MY GOD

Sugawara: Wow Oikawa, who are you gay for?

Oikawa added Iwaizumi to the group

Oikawa: Iwa-chan

Iwaizumi: You’re a freak

Iwaizumi left the group

Oikawa added Iwaizumi to the group

Oikawa: 😞

Iwaizumi: I literally only have 3 numbers saved. Why am I here?

Oikawa: Because no one here appreciates me

Iwaizumi: You don’t deserve it

Kageyama: Hi Iwaizumi!

Iwaizumi: Hi Kageyama. How’re you doing?

Kageyama: Pretty good. You?

Iwaizumi: I’m alright.

Kenma: Who is Iwaizumi?

Oikawa: The most handsome wing spiker

Sugawara: That’s Daichi

Nishinoya: Ryu? 😍😍

Tanaka: Stop it you 😚

Oikawa: Then the most handsome ace

Nishinoya: Asahi 🥰

Oikawa: I HATE YOU ALL HE’S THE MOST HANDSOME WING SPIKER ACE FROM AOBA JOHSAI DAMN 

Nishinoya: Jeez, no need to yell

Kuroo: The one with the biceps?

Oikawa: YES OMG THAT’S HIM

Oikawa: wAIT

Iwaizumi: This is embarrassing. I already hate this



 




Chapter Text

Golden Trio Heart eyes

Oikawa: oh my god so guess what

Oikawa: iwaizumi asked me out

Hinata: omg 

Hinata: wait

Hinata: did you say yes

Oikawa: yes???

Oikawa: i love him i love him!!??

Hinata: isn’t he mean to u???

Hinata: ur a freak i’d never like someone who’s mean to me

Oikawa: don’t u like tobio? he’s mean to u isn’t he?

Hinata: ew ew ew i’d never like him like that

Hinata: i’m literally straight 

Oikawa: lololol i mean like ur his friend

Kenma: embarrassing literally embarrassing this conversation is literally embarrassing me

Kenma: but ANYWAY a boyfriend????

Kenma : i’d like to say i’m not shocked but i am

Oikawa: WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN

 

--

 

Hinata and Oikawa:

Hinata: okay so like i need to tell you something

Oikawa: okay?

Hinata: and like you’re the only person i’m telling

Hinata: and please don’t laugh at me

Oikawa: okay??

Hinata: ok so like 

Hinata: you know how you made that comment about me liking kageyama and i got defensive because i was like ew no never

Hinata: well

Hinata: i went to sleep and i had a dream right

Hinata: and like

Hinata: IT WAS SO CUTE LIKE I WAS JUST IN THE GYM PLAYING VOLLEYBALL AND THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT SETTERS AND I WAS LIKE WHERE’S KAGEYAMA BECAUSE HE WASN’T THERE AND THEN AFTER PRACTICE I LEFT THE GYM AND HE WAS THERE WITH FLOWERS AND HE ASKED ME OUT IN FRONT OF EVERYONE WHICH WAS KIND OF EMBARRASSING BUT IT

Hinata: MY STOMACH HAD SO MANY BUTTERFLIES???????????????

Hinata: OVER KAGEYAMA WHAT WHAT WHAT

Hinata: AND THEN HE CAME UP TO ME AND KISSED ME AND IT WAS THE CUTEST THING EVER AND EVERYONE ELSE LIKE DISAPPEARED AND THEN WE WERE JUST PLAYING VOLLEYBALL EXCEPT I KEPT KISSING HIM AND HE LOOKED SO BEAUTIFUL AND BLUSHED SO MUCH BUT ALSO HE WAS STILL BEING MEAN TO ME BUT LIKE IT HIT DIFFERENT

Hinata: and then i woke up and now i don’t know what i’m feeling

Oikawa: oh my god

Oikawa: oh my god oh my godo oh my gofd

Hinata: sTOP I GET IT

Oikawa: O H MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD

Hinata: STOP YOU’RE THE WORST I SHOULD’VE TOLD KENMA

 

-

 

Shitty Boys

Hinata changed the group name to Oikawa is the ugliest

Oikawa: WHAT

Oikawa: what did i DO 

Iwaizumi: idk but i’m sure you deserve it

Oikawa: get out of my house

Daichi: he’s at ur house? At this hour? Hmmm

Nishinoya: hmmmmmmmmmm????

Oikawa: yes he’s my man keep scrolling 

Iwaizumi has left the chat

Kageyama: must have struck a nerve w that one

Oikawa: tobio i hate u more and more every day

Oikawa added Iwaizumi to the chat

Oikawa: welcome back baby 🥰

Iwaizumi has left the chat

 

-

 

Oikawa is the ugliest 

Asahi: i can’t stop sneezinfg what does this mean

Daichi: what

Sugawara: what

Hinata: what

Yamaguchi: what

Asahi: sorry wrong chat

 

Asahi and Nishinoya:

Asahi: i can’t stop sneezing what does this mean

Nishinoya: amazing. I’m so in love with you

Asahi: if ur so in love with me why am i sleeping alone rn

Nishinoya: omw !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🏃🏻‍♂️🏃🏻‍♂️🏃🏻‍♂️🏃🏻‍♂️

 

-

 

Oikawa is the ugliest 

Oikawa changed the group name to Hinata is embarrassing

Hinata: you’re the worst person i’ve ever met

Daichi: what did he do this time

Oikawa: i’d love to tell u all

Oikawa: esp one person in particular 

Kenma: don’t bully him like this

Kageyama: what does any of this mean?

Oikawa: i’D LOVE TO TELL YOU

Hinata has left the chat

Sugawara: don’t bully my son like this

Oikawa: YOUR son???

Oikawa : i birthed him

Oikawa: he and kenma came from This womb

Kenma has left the chat

Iwaizumi: why can’t you act like a normal fucking person for two seconds Oikawa

Daichi : Oikawa i’m gonna kill you

Oikawa: ME????

Sugawara added Hinata and Kenma

Kuroo: KENMA’S BACK 🥰

Kuroo: i missed u so much

Kenma: stop

Hinata: damn did anyone miss me?🥺

Kageyama: you weren’t gone for very long

Kageyama: i think kuroo is just clingy

Sugawara: i missed u hinata

Hinata: at least someone appriciates me

Tsukishima: hinata why would we miss someone who can’t even spell

Yamaguchi: LMAO

 

-

 

Hinata is embarrassing:

Kenma: guess WHO JUST GOT ANIMAL CROSSING???

Kenma: not ME !!!!! BECAUSE I’M BROKEN

Kageyama: broken???

Oikawa: kenma what does this mean??

Kenma and Kuroo:

Kenma: kuroo i’m so embarrassed

Kenma: THAT GROUPCHAT MESSAGE WAS SUPPOSED TO GO TO YOU

Kuroo: FUCKING IDIOT AHAHAHA

 

-

 

Hinata is embarrassing:

Kuroo: attached image

Kuroo: guess who just got animal crossing

Nishinoya: this is the cutest thing i’ve ever seen in my life

Hinata: oh so kenma is in LOVE love

Oikawa: iwaizumi that could be us

Iwaizumi: idiot u don’t even like video games

Kageyama: awww

Yamaguchi: god i wish that were me

Sugawara: kenma said make his pockets hurt and i respect that

Kenma: STOP

 

-

 

Hinata is embarrassing:

Oikawa: guys i’m literally the best bf ever 

Daichi: incorrect suga is better 

Nishinoya: y’all dating? Lol

Sugawara: good job idiot 

Yamaguchi: omgomgomg

Kuroo: guys stop blowing up the chat ur gonna wake kenma

Oikawa: ANYWAYS

Oikawa: i’m making Iwaizumi pancakes for breakfast bc he’s still asleep! 

Oikawa: best boyfriend best boyfriend best boyfriend

Kageyama: you sound like ur trying to convince yourself

Oikawa: tobio stay out of this 

Asahi: what if the groupchat notifs wake him up and he sees this

Oikawa: impossible bc iwaizumi is smart and turns off his notifications when he’s sleeping

Hinata: ur cooking??? Oh no

Kageyama: hi hinata

Hinata: hi???

Kageyama: what is with the question marks i’m literally being nice to you

Hinata: you literally just said hi

Kageyama: yeah i didn’t say hi to anyone else

Oikawa: please just let me have one moment

Nishinoya: oikawa i didn’t know u could cook

Oikawa: you don’t know me irl….

Nishinoya: yeah but it’s just a vibe

Nishinoya: like i’ve never met kuroo but i know he can’t cook

Kuroo: ur so correct with that

Kuroo: i tried once and set off the fire alarm lololol

Oikawa: rip to u but i’m different ❤️

Daichi: lmaoooo who wants to bet the pancakes are gonna suck

Hinata: oh trust me they will

Sugawara: probably

Oikawa: thanks for being so supportive guys

 

-

 

Hinata is embarrassing:

Iwaizumi : attached video

Nishinoya: LMAOOOO

Tanaka: what is that? Those are not pancakes. Those are clumps

Tanaka: oikawa how did you fuck those up that badly

Kuroo: ok but like why are y’all not talking about what he’s saying

Kuroo: ‘i tried to make a smiley face in syrup but it didn’t work’

Kuroo : Oikawa you’re dumb

Daichi: best boyfriend ? 🤨

Iwaizumi: stoppppp omg

Iwaizumi: he tried his best he’s never cooked pancakes from scratch before

Iwaizumi: he’s cute look at how bashful he is

Hinata: omg i never thought i’d see the day

Hinata: iwaizumi… ur being nice to him

Iwaizumi: he woke me up to ugly pancakes in bed and he tried his best it’s cute

Iwaizumi: i love him omg

Oikawa: omg omg omgo mg

Oikawa: babe 🥰😇

Iwaizumi: nevermind ur an idiot

Sugawara: LMAO



Chapter Text

Kageyama PLEASE

Hinata: attached image

Asahi: Is that Kageyama?

Nishinoya: WITH NATSU??????

Oikawa: I hate to say it but that’s cute

Kuroo: I want to marry that man

Kenma: Wut

Kuroo: Look at him. He knows how to do makeup like what 

Kuroo: What can’t he do?

Kuroo: He’s so

Kuroo: so

Tanaka: Heart eyes?

Kuroo: Yes

Hinata: Kageyama has a big sister sooo

Kuroo: Um okay and?

Hinata: It makes sense that he knows what he’s doing

Tanaka: I have an older sister and I don’t know how to do make up

Kuroo: SEE

Kuroo: THAT IS TALENT.

Kenma changed the group name to Kuroo has a crush on Kageyama

Hinata: No

Hinata changed the group name to No one has a crush on the idiot

Kenma changed the group name to Hinata is upset for some reason

Hinata: This groupchat was supposed to be fun

Kuroo: We must protect my main squeeze

Kuroo: My main squeeze after Kenma of course 

-

Daichi and Sugawara:

Daichi: are you busy?

Sugawara: nope, what’s poppin?

Daichi: ew

Daichi: anyways

Daichi: have you eaten today?

Sugawara: nope teehee

Daichi: Suuuuuugaaaaa

Sugawara: Daichi I’m doing homework

Sugawara: stop rolling your eyes I can feel you rolling your eyes

Daichi: I’m on my way over. Let’s get lunch or something 

Sugawara: Guess I have to go make myself look good for my lovely Daichi

Daichi: Shouldn’t be that hard because you’re always cute.

Sugawara: You’re being cheesy stop

Daichi: I’m being honest

Sugawara: Nevermind. I don’t want to see you. Go home

Daichi: Shut up I’m already here

Daichi: Cutie

Sugawara: I’ll be down soon😚

-

Hinata is upset for some reason

Nishinoya: Imagine being sweet, handsome, AND tall

Kuroo: I don’t have to imagine that

Oikawa: Me neither

Iwaizumi: You’re shitty and not cute at all so idk what you’re talking about.

Oikawa: Why do you hate me when all I do is love you

Nishinoya: Anyways, I’m talking about my tall, sweet and handsome Asahi!

Nishinoya: tall boys tall boys tall boys tall boys tall boys tall boys 

Yamaguchi: Tall boys tall boys tall boys tall boys tall boys tall boys

Tsukishima: Yamaguchi why

Yamaguchi changed the group name to Tall boys own me

Nishinoya: Correct

Kuroo: Kenma please participate to make me feel good about myself

Kenma: Tall boys tall boys

Kuroo: Maybe he does love me afterall

Oikawa: Please Iwa-chan

Oikawa: Pretty pleaseee 

Oikawa: I REFUSE to let tetsuro have a better love life than me

Iwaizumi: Tall boys but the tall boy is Kageyama 

Oikawa: I want him gone

Oikawa: I want Tobio GONE

Kuroo: Tall boys like Kageyama 

Nishinoya: Anyone else concerned about his love for Kageyama?

Kenma: He has a volleyball crush on him

Kuroo: Don’t embarrass me

Kenma: You literally do it to yourself but go off

Kuroo:

Kuroo: OMGOMG HEAR ME OUT

Kuroo: Short cute boys like my adorable Kenma

Kuroo: Short boys short boys short boys short boys short boys short boys

Kenma: Kuroo stop I’ll end you

Kuroo: SHort boys short boys

-

Tsukishima and Kageyama:  

Tsukishima: this is your moment Tobio

Kageyama: I’m scared

Tsukishima: Of who

Kageyama: Everyone everyone everyone

Tsukishima: Shut up shut up shut up

Tsukishima: Just please

Tsukishima: It’ll be funny. People will be dramatic

Tsukishima: Do it for the drama

-

Tall boys own me

Tsukishima: Short boys short boys

Tanaka: Short boys like Noya

Kageyama: Short boys short boys short boys

Asahi: Short boys short boys short boys short boys

Nishinoya: I need to hug you

Oikawa: Short boys short boys short boys short boys

Iwaizumi: You aren’t even that much taller than me

Oikawa: Say that to me when you’re six feet or taller

Iwaizumi: Don’t talk to me ever again

Kuroo: KAGEYAMA WAHT

Nishinoya: KAGEYAMA I’M OLDER THAN YOU SO YOU HAVE TO TELL ME WHO

Asahi: I’m actually very curious

Kuroo: um as your friend, you legally have to tell me who

Kuroo: PLEASE KAGEYAMA I NEED TO KNOW WHAT SHORT BITCH I HAVE TO BEAT UP BECAUSE THEY’RE REPLACING ME

Tsukishima: dramatic

Kageyama: very dramatic

Kageyama: Kuroo please

Kenma: kuro please

Chapter Text

Tall boys own me

Oikawa: Good morning uglies. Just your daily reminder that you aren’t as cute as me.

Kenma: You can leave.

Sugawara: No one is stopping you.

Hinata: 😡

Oikawa: Where’s Tobio?

Hinata: Literally why

Oikawa: He needs to acknowledge my superiority 

Iwaizumi: Stop that

Hinata: I don’t think Kageyama tries to be cute. He doesn’t need to really

Oikawa: So you think he’s cute?

Hinata: NO THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT OIKAWA LEAVE

Hinata: I meant like. It’s not him? To be cute? Because he’s good at other things like?? Why would he need that?

Oikawa: So you think Tobio is so great that it makes him naturally attractive

Hinata: Yes

Hinata: WAIT NO 

Hinata: LEAVE

Daichi: Why am I just seeing this now and why does Oikawa think he’s cuter than Suga

Tanaka: Wow goals

Yamaguchi: Goals 😍

Yamaguchi: Imagine a guy complimenting you

Yamaguchi: What a dream

Tsukishima: Shut up

Yamaguchi: you’re making me blush Tsukki 

Tsukishima: why isn’t anyone interrogating hinata?

Kuroo: I was going to because I just caught up with the chat.

Kuroo: what does that mean hinata?

Kenma: kuro please come open the door

Kenma: I’m so sleepy ( ̄^ ̄)

Kuroo: coming!

Kuroo: also that face looks like you wut

Hinata: if you're sleepy, why are you at his place?

Kenma: Because I take naps here and because I can

Kenma: don’t change the subject shouyou.

Hinata: IM NOT

Oikawa: YOU ARE

Kuroo: okay, me and kenma are situated now.

Kuroo: so, short stuff, can I call you that?

Hinata: no

Kuroo: short stuff, is it true that you think Kageyama is good at volleyball amongst other things?

Hinata: someone help me

Kuroo: it’s a simple yes or no question

Tsukishima: answer the question idiot

Hinata: Kageyama is good at volleyball 

Kuroo: Interesting interesting… 

Kuroo: But do you think he’s attractive when he plays?

Hinata: I ahsfywbc

Hinata: I’m scared

Oikawa: ANSWER

Hinata: I THINK KAGEYAMA IS COOL WHEN HE PLAYS

Kenma: Boring

Kuroo: hmm I guess we’ll save the questions for another day. When he wants to cooperate.

Hinata: I LITERALLY ANSWERED YOUR QUESTIONS WHTA

Kenma: Yawn yawn yawn yawn hinata is boring sooo boring yawn.

Kuroo: So boring I might just take a nap with kenma

Kenma: Stay away from me

Kuroo: You’re at my house

Kuroo: You’re in MY room

Kenma: I said what i said

Kuroo: 💔💔💔💔

Oikawa: Me and Iwa-chan snuggle all the time

Iwaizumi: Okay 2 things

Iwaizumi: 1. You cling to whatever's next to you when you’re tired

Iwaizumi: 2. Don’t use the word snuggle. It makes me uncomfortable say cuddle you freak

Oikawa: He didn’t deny it 🥰

Nishinoya: SNUGGLE AHAHAHAHFDCHVW

Nishinoya: Asahi come snuggle

Sugawara: Daichi come snuggle

Yamaguchi: Tsukki come snuggle

Kuroo: Kenma please let me come snuggle

Kenma: The bedroom door is unlocked idiot

Kenma: Come snuggle

Oikawa: … 

Oikawa: Everyone here hates me.

Sugawara changed the group name to Snuggle 😍

Oikawa: You Koushi

Oikawa: I used to think you were cute and refreshing

Oikawa: Refreshing my ass

Sugawara: Still cute tho

Oikawa: I want to rid the world of Karasuno setters

Sugawara: I’m gonna disappear from the chat for a bit. Me and Daichi are snuggling

Oikawa: I don’t want to talk to anyone here

Oikawa left the group

Iwaizumi added Oikawa to the group

Iwaizumi: You put me in this so we stay here together.

 

-

 

Tsukishima and Kageyama:

Kageyama: Tsukishima

Kageyama: Tsukishima the group chat what

Tsukishima: idiot, why didn’t you say anything 

Kageyama: I panicked!

Kageyama: is it too late to say something?

Tsukishima: it depends.

Tsukishima: they know your dumb so it might be fine

Kageyama: stop calling me dumb, you’re the worst

Tsukishima: shut up and get in there

 

-

 

Snuggle 😍

Kageyama: hinata

Kageyama: thanks

Tanaka: IS KAGEYAMA SHY

Kuroo: CUTE

Tsukishima: HA

Sugawara: DAICHI OUR SON LOOK AT HIM

Hinata: You scare me

Kageyama: IDIOT I WAS TRYING TO BE NICE

Kageyama: I TAKE IT BACK

Hinata: NO DON’T

Kageyama: Too late

Nishinoya: SHOUYOU HAAHAH

Chapter Text

Kuroo changed the group name to Make Kenma Happy 

Yamaguchi: Is Kenma okay?

Kageyama: ???

Kuroo: He’s fine, I just want him to always be happy.

Kenma: How sweet

Kenma: However, I’m embarrassed so please stop talking to me now

Kuroo: Bbg I just never want you to be sad 😙

Kenma: Thanks idiot 😘

Oikawa: Ur relationship is so strange

Oikawa: Like idk if that’s cute or comical

Kuroo: Both bitch 😼

Kenma: We have that kind of power 

Kuroo: That’s two kinds of power. They don’t call me double trouble for nothing

Tsukishima: Shut up no one calls you that

Yamaguchi: LITERALLY WHO CALLS YOU THAT KUROO

Iwaizumi: I think they’re cute

Kenma: Thanks

Kuroo: That means a lot Mr. Biceps. Thank you

Iwaizumi: Please just call me Iwaizumi

Oikawa: Iwa-chan

Iwaizumi: Stop no. One person calling me Iwa-chan is more than enough.

Oikawa: My personal nickname. How romantic

Iwaizumi: You’re dead to me

Kageyama: lol

Oikawa: (T ^ T)

Iwaizumi: Are you coming over or what?

Oikawa: I am! I’ll be there soon ( >◡< )

Hinata: weird

Hinata: I can’t tell if Iwaizumi is mean to him or not??

Kageyama: It’s not mean

Hinata: Wut

Kageyama: It’s just playful

Hinata: But like, if they’re dating??? Idk I’m just ???

Kageyama: Iwaizumi and Oikawa are best friends but they just like each other. So they’re still gonna act the same.

Hinata: Hm

Kageyama: It’s not like Iwaizumi is doing anything bad or being actually mean

Kageyama: If that makes sense

Hinata: I guess, yeah.

Oikawa: We’re still best friends we just love each other in a romantic way too I guess 🤗

Kageyama: Weird ass emoji

Kageyama: But exactly.

Oikawa: Unneeded comment, much like everything you say

Iwaizumi: Oikawa

Oikawa: Anyways. Shouyou

Oikawa: For example.

Oikawa: If you and Tobio were dating

Kenma: Great example

Tsukishima: Wow

Oikawa: Wouldn’t it be weird if he treated you completely differently? Like if he stopped calling you idiot or dumbass. Or like if you stopped doing normal things together because you’re dating?

Hinata: WHAT THE HELL

Hinata: HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW

Tsukishima: Can you calm down?

Oikawa: It’s all supposed to be playful. It’s a relationship after all 

Oikawa: In this example that is.

Oikawa: The example where you and Tobio are dating

Hinata: OIKAWA

Oikawa: Just something to think about… 

Oikawa: Anyways! I’m at Iwa-chan’s so I’ll talk to you all later!

Hinata: That makes sense I guess.

Hinata: THAT MAKES A LOT OF SENSE ACTUALLY

Tsukishima: Glad you figured it out. Go scream about it somewhere else please.

Hinata: wow… 

 

-

 

Make Kenma Happy

Oikawa: YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE

Tanaka: Your eyes

Oikawa: NO

Oikawa: YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE

Nishinoya: your eyes

Oikawa: NO STOP

Oikawa: YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE

Sugawara: Your eyes

Oikawa: I HATE KARASUNO I HATE KARASUNO

Sugawara: Sorry, I had to. What’s up?

Oikawa: I WAS OUT WITH MATTSUN

Oikawa: AND YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE

Oikawa: WHAT HE TOLD ME

Iwaizumi: What is it this time?

Oikawa: Iwa-chan, he told me I have bottom energy (´༎ຶོρ༎ຶོ`)

Oikawa: BOTTOM ENERGY

Kageyama: What an ugly emoji

Oikawa: TOBIO GET OVER MY EMOJI CHOICE AND LOOK AT THE BIG PICTURE

Sugawara: LMAOOOO OIKAWA

Iwaizumi: ???

Nishinoya: Are you surprised?

Sugawara: WHERE IS DAICHI HE NEEDS TO SEE THIS

Yamaguchi: EVEN TSUKKI IS LAUGHING HA

Oikawa: Why is everyone LAUGHING AT ME!?

Kageyama: Wait, Oikawa isn’t a bottom?

Iwaizumi: KAGEYAMA LMAO

Tsukishima: You’re incredible Kageyama

Oikawa: Do you do this on purpose Tobio?

Oikawa: Underclassmen are supposed to be cute. Tobio isn’t cute at all!

Oikawa: Anyways, I think he’s wrong

Nishinoya: He literally isn’t

Oikawa: WHAT

Iwaizumi: You ARE a bottom, idiot

Oikawa: I am not! I radiate switch energy at least!

Sugawara: You wish!

Sugawara: And that’s coming from a bottom sooo

Daichi: Suga…

Nishinoya: Nice Daichi!

Iwaizumi: Oikawa, dumbass stop trying to be something you’re not.

Oikawa: But I’m not

Iwaizumi: Keep telling yourself that

Oikawa: You all suck! Especially you Iwa-chan! I thought you loved me

Iwaizumi: Maybe a power bottom

Iwaizumi: But that’s still a bottom

Hinata : Ooh! What’s that? Am I a bottom?

Hinata: Power bottom sounds kinda cool!

Daichi: Hinata no

Sugawara: Hinata, sweetheart, sit this one out

Hinata: I wanna know what it is!

Tsukishima: You don’t need to know

Hinata: But everyone knows!

Hinata: Even Kageyama knows!

Daichi: Iwaizumi and Oikawa.

Daichi: This one is on you. You are his parents

Oikawa: Shouyou, if you don’t know now then it’s not important at the moment.

Hinata: Then why does Kageyama know!

Kageyama: because

Hinata: STUPID KAGEYAMA TELL ME

Kageyama: No.

Hinata and Kageyama:

Hinata: Please Kageyama

Kageyama: Dumbass, no

Hinata: Pretty pretty please!!

Kageyama: Ask someone else

Kageyama: Please

Hinata and Yamaguchi:

Hinata: Yamaguchi please tell me

Hinata: Am I a bottom?

Hinata: What is a bottom?

Yamaguchi: Hinata, don’t ask me…

Yamaguchi: Google it

Hinata: Just tell me.

Yamaguchi: Hinata

Make Kenma Happy

Yamaguchi: Someone please tell him

Hinata: PLEASE ANYONE PLEASE

Kenma: Why are you doing this to me Shouyou

Kenma: So when it comes to sex, basically there are three types of roles. Tops, bottoms, and switches.

Kenma: This is just the basics Shouyou

Hinata: I’m listening

Kenma: So tops are typically more dominant. Hence why they’re called tops. They are on top. Idk how else to say that. I guess, they’re the “givers” during sex

Kenma: Bottoms are the opposite. They’re typically submissive and they’re the “receivers”. I really don’t know how to explain this without sounding weird like. It feels like I’m telling him wrong information for no reason Kuro I’m scared and uncomfy

Kuroo: You’re doing great Kenma ❤️ Keep fighting!

Kenma: And then there are switches. That’s a person who can play either role.

Kuroo: My boy is a genius heart eyes

Kenma: Does that make sense?

Hinata: Yeah

Hinata: So how do you know what you are?

Kenma: Shouyou this feels so awkward but okay

Kenma: It just happens I guess. Well I mean, it just happened for me. But then again, look who I’m dealing with

Kuroo: 😎

Hinata: Okay I get it!

Hinata: When he’s next to Iwaizumi, Oikawa does seem like a bottom.

Kuroo: I CAN’T BE HERE AHAHAH OIKAWA THIS IS YOUR KID

Oikawa: OH SUDDENLY YOU’RE A GENIUS WHEN IT COMES TO THIS STUFF HINATA I WILL END YOU

Chapter Text

Kuroo and Kenma:

 

Kenma: i feel so horrible today :(

Kenma: Like I feel so sad and ugly

Kenma: gonna listen to my kuro playlist so i can feel better 

 

-

 

Kuroo: umm i just woke up

Kuroo: i’m gonna come over after i take a shower

Kuroo: i’ll spend the whole day cuddling ur beautiful ass

Kenma: i love you



-

 

Hinata is annoying

Kuroo changed the groupchat name to kenam is the cutes thting i’v ecveer seen in my lfe i am literally going ot marry him and i swear to go d if anyone ever says that he isn’t the cutest i won’t hesitate to smite them on the spot i swear to god he’s so cute

Kageyama: oh wow

Tsukishima: i thought u wanted to marry kageyama

Kuroo: i’ve changed my mind

Oikawa: good

Hinata: good

Kageyama: what 

Kenma: kuro why are you being embarrassing rn

Kuroo: i just remembered tht u have a kuroo playlist??

Kuroo: and it’s love songs that make you think of me

Kenma: ew stop

Hinata: i have a playlist like that

Hinata: kenma and i made ours together

Kuroo: u have a kuroo playlist too?🤔

Kenma: why are you so annoying

Oikawa: shouyou who’s your playlist for

Kageyama: why do you have a playlist for someone hinata

Kageyama: idiot

Kageyama: who’s it for

Tsukishima: wow

Sugawara: LMAO

Hinata: anyway i think about the fact that they killed the mom in mamma mia 2 every single day

Hinata: like why did they do that to her

Hinata: i cried watching it for the first time??

Hinata: anyone else relate haha???

Kageyama: i think about that a lot too

Kenma: i haven’t seen those movies

Hinata: liar. u told me the other day u watched them with kuroo???

Kuroo: lol

Kuroo: we didn’t watch the movies

Kenma has removed Kuroo from the groupchat

Nishinoya: wait no

Nishinoya has added Kuroo to the groupchat

Nishinoya: let the man speak

Oikawa: mamma mia sucks

Iwaizumi: you watch it all the time

Sugawara: mamma mia is 😍

Tsukishima: why did hinata change the topic 

Tsukishima: and why did all of you let him

Yamaguchi: simple minds 😌

Oikawa: wait wait wait 

Oikawa: HINATA

Hinata has left the groupchat

Oikawa: kenma stop hanging out with shouyou 

Kenma: what

Oikawa: ur influencing him to be like this

Sugawara: LMAO

Kageyama has added Hinata to the groupchat

Kageyama: hinata

Hinata: kageyama

Kageyama: hinata

Hinata: kageyama

Kageyama: hinata

Hinata: kageyama

Kuroo: what’s happening

Kageyama: hinata

Hinata: kageyama

Daichi: stop

Oikawa: what’s going on

Hinata: lol i won

Kageyama: idiot

 

-

  kenam is the cutes thting i’v ecveer seen in my lfe i am literally going ot marry him and i swear to go d if anyone ever says that he isn’t the cutest i won’t hesitate to smite them on the spot i swear to god he’s so cute

Nishinoya changed his name to Asahi FUCKS

Asahi: what is wrong with you

Kuroo changed his name to Kuroo FUCKS

Daichi: both of you stop wtf

Oikawa changed his name to Oikawa FUCKS

Iwaizumi: lmao

Sugawara: we’ve been over this

Sugawara changed Daichi’s name to Daddy

Daddy: why did you do that

Asahi FUCKS: damn suga 

Asahi FUCKS: i should’ve done that

Sugawara: you snooze you lose 😌

Asahi FUCKS: you reap what you sow i guess

Kenma has left the chat

Asahi has left the chat

Kageyama has left the chat

Daddy has left the chat

Tsukishima has left the chat

Yamaguchi has left the chat

Asahi FUCKS: natural selection

Sugawara: truly

 

  kenam is the cutes thting i’v ecveer seen in my lfe i am literally going ot marry him and i swear to go d if anyone ever says that he isn’t the cutest i won’t hesitate to smite them on the spot i swear to god he’s so cute

Tanaka: hinata has a hickey

Daichi: WHAT

Sugawara: W H A T

Hinata: no i don’t STOP 

Nishinoya: HINATA HAS A HICKEY

Nishinoya: HICKEY HICKEY

Tanaka: HICKEY HICKEY

Hinata: I LITERALLY DON’T

Oikawa: WHAT

Kenma: lol no he doesn’t

Kenma: guarenteed 

Kuroo: kenma turn on your auto correct wtf

Kuroo: BUT ALSO?? WHAT WHERE

Nishinoya: IT’S ON HIS THIGH

Yamaguchi: WHAT

 

Kageyama and Tsukishima

Tsukishima: umm kageyama????

Kageyama: i’m shitting i’m shitting i’m shitting

Kageyama: oh my god oh my gofd

Tsukishima: ????

 

  kenam is the cutes thting i’v ecveer seen in my lfe i am literally going ot marry him and i swear to go d if anyone ever says that he isn’t the cutest i won’t hesitate to smite them on the spot i swear to god he’s so cute

 

Oikawa: WHO DID THIS TO YOU HINATA

Hinata: it’s nOT A HICKEY IT’S A BRUISE

Daichi: lol

Hinata: I SWEAR

Daichi: ok ok ok 

Daichi: it’s a “bruise”

Sugawara: how did you get this “bruise”

Hinata: kageyama

Oikawa: WHAT

Kuroo: WHAT

Kuroo: KAGEYAMA YOU DIDN’T TELL YOUR BEST FRIEND THIS???

Kuroo: your best friend is me btw


Kageyama and Hinata:

Kageyama: fucking idiot why did you say that

Kageyama: you know exactly what they’ll be thinking with this

Kageyama: moron

Kageyama: ur giving them the wrong ideas

Hinata: YEAH IDIOT I GET IT

Hinata: HELP ME THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING

Kageyama: you got your dumbass self into this mess

Hinata: our team captain thinks you were sucking on my thigh

Hinata: so like

Hinata: this is embarrassing for you too idiot ass bitch

Kageyama: fuck you

 

  kenam is the cutes thting i’v ecveer seen in my lfe i am literally going ot marry him and i swear to go d if anyone ever says that he isn’t the cutest i won’t hesitate to smite them on the spot i swear to god he’s so cute

Tanaka changed the group name to KAGEYAMA GAVE HINATA A WHAT?

Kageyama: oh my god

Kageyama: it’s literally a bruise

Kageyama: i’d never go near hinata like that

Hinata: 🤢

Oikawa: yeah right

Tsukishima: yeah right 

Daichi: yeah right

Sugawara: daichi omg

Hinata: i want all of you dead 

Hinata: he fucking

Hinata: he HIT ME WITH A BASEBALL

Hinata: THERE’S MORE BRUISES TOO

Hinata: MY LEGS HURT SO BAD

Sugawara: i literally don’t believe you

Hinata: IT’S TRUE

Nishinoya: lol was that on wednesday??

Nishinoya: i think i was there for that

Kageyama: u were we were laughing

Tanaka: wasn’t that my baseball??

Kageyama: yeah.

Hinata: i really hate you guys

Kenma: lmaooooo to,dl u

Kuroo: i’m so disappointed

 

KAGEYAMA GAVE HINATA A WHAT?

Hinata: kageyama come hang out with me

Daichi: what

Daichi: say this in a private chat you weirdo

Oikawa: no, don’t

Oikawa: i want to hear

Kenma: freak

Kenma: well kageyama u gonna answer him ??

Kageyama: sorry i don’t want to leave my house today

 

Kageyama and Hinata: 

Kageyama: idiot

Hinata: stupid

 

KAGEYAMA GAVE HINATA A WHAT?

Hinata: i can always come over to ur house

Asahi: why 

Asahi: why are you two making plans in the groupchat

Asahi: in front of us

Kageyama: yeah that works

Yamaguchi: stop oh my god

Tanaka: no no u guys let them speak their truths

Hinata: ok i’m getting ready then i’ll b on my way!

Kenma: i swear to god

 

-

 

KAGEYAMA GAVE HINATA A WHAT?

Hinata: i’m here come let me in!!!!

Nishinoya: STOPPP



Chapter Text

Wednesday AM:

Hinata is annoying

Hinata changed the group name to help

Asahi: ???

Asahi: i’m concerned 

Kenma: shouyou it’s… 3am..

Kenma: what is wrong with u

Hinata: oh hey guys why are you up

Nishinoya: yeah that’s fine asahi you can call me out in front of everyone

Asahi: what

Asahi: i didn’t even say anything!!!

Nishinoya: yeah that’s fine asahi just tell everyone that i’m at your house right now 😳

Asahi: please stop you’re embarrassing

Asahi: wait come back to bed 🥺

Kenma: do this in a separate chat you freaks i’m trying to sleep 

 

-

 

Wednesday PM:

help

Kuroo: so we aren’t talking about the fact that asahi used an emoji

Kuroo: specifically that one

Sugawara: what

Sugawara: what’s wrong with his emoji

Kuroo: it’s cute

Kuroo: like he’s so cute for that

Asahi: stop

Asahi: kenma come get your man he’s embarrassing me

Kenma: no kuro keep going

Kenma: speak ur truth 

Kuroo: everyone who thinks asahi has cute energy for that… say i 

Kenma:

Iwaizumi: i

Oikawa: wtf iwa-chan 

Oikawa: i’m ceo of that emoji and u nvr say i’m cute 

Oikawa: bu also i

Nishinoya: actually i’m so glad you guys brought this up

Nishinoya: because i’ve been WAITING 

Nishinoya: for u all to notice how SUPERIOR MY MAN IS

Asahi: can i leave this groupchat

Nishinoya: no

Nishinoya: attached image

Nishinoya: like!!!!! Look at this CUTE MAN!!!!!!!!

Kuroo: i’m shitting i’m shitting this is the cutest in the world. He

Kuroo: LOOK AT HIM

Kuroo: he’s just SLEEPING w that TINY BLANKET

Daichi: attached image

Daichi: sorry noya but ur man isn’t the cutest mine is 🙂

Sugawara: oh my god when did you take that

Nishinoya: wait stop wait stop wait

Nishinoya: i didn’t know u two were in LOVE love 😳

Tanaka: HE’S JUST LAYING ON UR LAP??

Tanaka: didn’t know i needed this pic of suga in my life thanks daichi

Iwaizumi: attached image 

Oikawa: OMG

Kageyama: wait.. why is that cute

Oikawa: bc i’m cute tobio what are u talking about

Iwaizumi: when did he say u weren’t

Hinata: AWWWW

Asahi: i see i see

Asahi: however i present to u

Asahi: yuu in MY HOODIE

Asahi: attached image

Tanaka: omfgggg yuu ur so cute 

Sugawara: AHAHAH YOU’RE TINY

Nishinoya: when he shows u off 🥰😍

Oikawa: trophy wife tingz 🥰😍🍾

Kuroo: oh i didn’t know this is what we were doing

Kuroo: cute pics btw but lol

Kenma: kuro i already know what you’re about to do and don’t

Kuroo: attached image

Kuroo: i see you all thinking hmm kenma takes a lot of naps

Kuroo: yes he does and he always sleeps on me

Kuroo: and it’s so cute isn’t it

Kuroo: attached image

Kuroo: attached image

Kuroo: attached image

Kuroo: thank ur benevolent god for these later

Kuroo: which is me, i’m the god

Kuroo: ur eyeballs have been blessed today

Kuroo: u’ll never see anything cuter

Oikawa: this is the cutest thing i’ve seen in my life

Kageyama: awww

Yamaguchi: KENMA WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS SLEEPING LMAO YOU’RE SO CUTE

Tsukishima: attached image

Tsukishima: i’m not a freak who takes pics of my boyfriend while he’s sleeping but here’s tadashi in my hoodie with me

Asahi: i have pics like that too omg

Asahi: attached image

Tsukishima: lol

Tsukishima: short boyfriend tingz

Kuroo: attached image

Kuroo: small bf tingz

Asahi: omg

Tsukishima: omg

Kuroo: tall boyfriends rise up

Kuroo: we r superior

Kuroo: bc we have pictures like these 

Hinata: isn’t that pic ur lockscreen kuroo

Kenma: ew why would you expose him like that

Kenma: i’m so embarrassed

Yamaguchi: the pic tsukki sent is his lockscreen too lololol

Kageyama: wait ok

Kageyama: is no one going to talk about hinata changing the group name to help at 3am

Oikawa: no

Daichi: wait yeah wtf hinata shouldn’t you have been idk sleeping

Hinata: i haven’t slept in like two days dw

Kageyama: dw?????

 

-

 

Wednesday PM

Kageyama and Hinata

Kageyama: why aren’t you sleeping??

Hinata: idk

Hinata: i stayed up for like

Hinata: 24 hours for some reason and now i can’t go to sleep

Kageyama: wtf???

Hinata: it’s fine i’ll die eventually

 

Kageyama and Tsukishima

Kageyama: attached screenshot

Kageyama: help 

Tsukishima: ?? literally how

Kageyama: what should i DO

Kageyama: i wanna help 

Tsukishima: wait i have an iead

Tsukishima: ubsdfjhsd

Kageyama: ?

Tsukishima: tadashi is grabbing at my phone 

Tsukishima: hang on

incoming call from: Tsukishima

 

Thursday AM:

help

Hinata: day three 😍

Sugawara: HINATA

Kenma: SHOUYOU

Oikawa: SHOUYOU

Nishinoya: HINATA

Daichi: HINATA

-

Friday AM:

help:

Hinata: guys good news i slept two hours last night

Kenma: it’s 4am what is your problem

Hinata: what 

Hinata: ur literally awake

Kuroo: he’s been busy

Kenma left the chat

Sugawara: AHAHAHA




Friday PM:

help:

Asahi: guys guess what omg 

Asahi: attached image

Kuroo : IS THAT A KITTEN??

Sugawara: omg is that yours???

Nishinoya: he just brought it over to my house lol

Nishinoya: he found it on the way over.

Asahi: she needs a family, yuu

Nishinoya: lmfaooo.

Nishinoya: no, asahi.

 

Friday PM:

Kageyama and Hinata:

Kageyama: hey

Hinata: hello?

Kageyama: do you want to like 

Kageyama: idk

Kageyama: come over maybe

Hinata: why

Kageyama: maybe i can help you fix your sleep schedule 

Hinata: there isn’t a sleep schedule to fix 😎

Kageyama: you’re an idiot 

Kageyama: nevermind. moron.

Hinata: what’s ur address

Kageyama: attached location

 

Saturday AM:

help

Nishinoya: so… update…

Nishinoya: attached image 

Nishinoya: her name is Suzu 

Asahi: be more excited yuu she’s our daughter

Oikawa: iwa-chan we should get a cat

Iwaizumi: you’re allergic 

Kenma: oh my god ohm u god she’s so cute

Kenma: SHE’S SO CUTE 

Kenma: kuro please please please can we get a cat pklease i’m shaking i;m crying

Kuroo: god

Kuroo: look what you guys started

Kageyama: guys stop

Kuroo: omg kageyama hey 

Kageyama: stoppp blowing up the chat

Oikawa: why should we listen to you, tobio

Kageyama: attached image

Kageyama: btw i win

Oikawa: oh my god oh my god oh my god shouyou is sleeping he’s sleeping he’s finally sleeping

Kageyama: STOP DON’T BLOW UP THE CHAT

 

-

 

Saturday PM:

help

Oikawa: ok there’s no way hinata is still asleep

Oikawa: so i’m here to say

Oikawa: that’s the cutest thing ever

Oikawa: why is he curled up on u like that i’m literally screaming

Iwaizumi: he literally hasn’t shut up about this all day

Iwaizumi: annoying ass

Yamaguchi: it is cute tho

Tsukishima: i hate to agree with oikawa

Tsukishima: but he’s right

Kuroo: lmfao wai twait wait

Kuroo: i think you guys are skipping over something fundamental here

Kuroo: HE SAID I WIN

Kuroo: THAT WHOLE CONVERSATION WAS ABOUT SHOWING OFF YOUR BOYFRIEND?

Kageyama has removed Hinata from the chat

Nishinoya: wait stop omg

Oikawa: what

Oikawa: tobio explain

Oikawa: tobio

Oikawa: tobio

Oikawa: tobio

Kageyama: IT’S LITERALLY 12PM

Kageyama: HE’S STILL ASLEEP

Kageyama: also we aren’t dating don’t be disgusting

Sugawara: i swear to god

Tanaka: lmfaoo hinata is straight remember

Kenma: AHAHAHA



Chapter Text

Iwaizumi changed the group name to Oikawa STOP

Kageyama: What does this mean

Oikawa: One week later I’m writing a letter nightly

Kuroo: OMG

Oikawa: Now my life gets better, every letter that you write me

Kuroo: Since you’re Eliza I guess I’m Angelica

Asahi: Wut

Oikawa: Kuroo SHUT UP YOU KNOW THIS

Kuroo: OF COURSE I DO

Iwaizumi: Dammit

Oikawa: Laughing at my sister cause she wants to form a harem

Kuroo: I’m just saying if you really loved me you would share him

Oikawa: HA

Oikawa: Two weeks later in the living room stressin

Oikawa: My father stone faced while you ask for his blessing

Oikawa: Dyin inside as you wine and dine

Oikawa: And I’m tryin not cry because there’s nothing that your mind can’t do

Kuroo: Oooh

Oikawa: My father makes his way across the room to you

Kuroo: Oooh

Oikawa: I panic for a second thinking we’re through

Kuroo: Oooh

Oikawa: But then he shakes your hand and says be true

Kuroo: Oooh 

Oikawa: And you turn back at me, smiling and I’m 

Kuroo: Helpless look into your eyes and the sky’s the limit I’m helpless

Oikawa: Helpless

Kuroo: Down for the count and I’m drownin in em

Oikawa: Hoo

Kuroo: Helpless

Oikawa: That boy is mine, that boy is mine

Kuroo: Helpless, down for the count and I’m drownin in em

Daichi: STOP PLEASE IT IS SO LATE 

Iwaizumi: EXACTLY

Oikawa: Fine.. We don’t have an Alexander anyways

Iwaizumi: Thank god

Kageyama: Eliza, I don’t have a dollar to my name. An acre of land, a troop to command a dollop of fame

Kageyama: All I have’s my honor and a tolerance for pain

Kageyama: A couple of college credits and my top notch brain

Daichi: KAGEYAMA STOP

Kageyama: Sorry… 

Oikawa: TOBIO WHAT

Kuroo: Kageyama 😍

Oikawa: Since when did you know Hamilton

Kageyama: I don’t really. I’ve never seen it but my sister listened to the soundtrack a lot

Kuroo: I knew you were my man for a reason

Daichi: Well Suga WAS sleeping. But now he’s awake and singing.

Kenma: Who got Kuro started?

Kenma: He is on the speaker playing Satisfied

Kenma: Kuro it’s 2am

Kenma: Omg it was oikawa who started this. Oikawa you are dead

Nishinoya: I was more of a Heathers kinda guy

Asahi: Heathers?

Nishinoya: You know Heathers. It has that one song

Nishinoya: I am Damaged

Asahi: Oh yeah!

Asahi: Far too damaged

Nishinoya: When he knows heathers 😳🥵

Daichi: It’s great that we all get along but guys please go to sleep.

Nishinoya: It’s the weekend though!! 😋

Daichi: Yes but it’s also almost 3 in the morning

Tanaka: Daichi

Tanaka: Are we gonna have a problem?

Tanaka: You got a bone to pick?

Tanaka: you’ve come so far, why now are you pulling on my dick?

Oikawa: LMAOOOO

Nishinoya: RYUU HAHAHA

Tanaka: THANKS! I’M GOING TO SLEEP NOW

Nishinoya: GOODNIGHT RYUU DREAM OF ME

Tanaka: When do I not?

Nishinoya: 🥰

Daichi: Suga is singing on my own aw

Oikawa: So when Koushi sings it’s aw but when we sing you want us to shut up?

Oikawa: Double standard

Daichi:  Well Suga is cute sooo

Daichi: Anyways, I think we should all sleep because it’s getting late.

Kuroo: Sure :(

-

4AM

Sugawara: In New York you can be a new man

Kuroo: In New York you can be a new man

Nishinoya: In New York you can be a new man

Oikawa: Helpless

-

 

Nishinoya: Me and Asahi are making pizza!

Nishinoya: What is everyone else doing on this fine saturday night?

Kageyama: I’m going for a run

Kuroo: I wanna come with

Kageyama: I’d say sure but you’re all the way in Tokyo

Kuroo: A train ride away 😢 too far from you Kageyama

Hinata: Hey what the hell, you never invite me on runs

Kageyama: Idiot because you’d make it a competition

Hinata: If I promise it won’t be a race can I come?

Kageyama: Sure

Hinata: I’M GETTING READY RIGHT NOW

Oikawa: 😉

Kageyama: What

Kenma: 😉

Kageyama: What

Oikawa: I’m laying in bed and for some reason I can’t stop taking personality quizzes

Oikawa: I’ve been doing this since 1 this afternoon

Oikawa: I really don’t need to find out the first letter of my soulmate's name by planning a date

Oikawa: My soulmate's name starts with an H

Oikawa: But I call him Iwa-chan

Iwaizumi: lol you’re so embarrassing Oikawa

Kenma: That was weirdly gentle

Iwaizumi: I have my days 

Oikawa: 💗

Sugawara: Me and Daichi are cleaning

Nishinoya: Ew what that’s so boring

Sugawara: It’s weirdly therapeutic

Sugawara: And I steal his shirts when we reorganize his closet 😜

Nishinoya: CUTE SHUT UP

Hinata: Okay! I’m ready Kageyama

Kageyama: Why’d that take so long?

Hinata: I didn’t want to look bad

Kageyama: We’re just going for a run

Hinata: Yes but we’re going out

Oikawa: Going out?

Kenma: GOING OUT

Oikawa: As in???

Hinata: As in going out of the house?

Kenma: You piss me off

Kageyama: Whatever, I’m on my way

Hinata: See you when you get here 🥰

Hinata: I MEANT 😊

Kenma: Sure you did

Tsukishima: Yeah sure

Oikawa: Still not over the going out thing tbh

Kenma: Kuroo, are you coming over still?

Kuroo: Yeah, I’ll be on my way in a little

Kuroo: I was packing you some of the pie I have left over

Kenma: I love you

Kuroo: 😘

Nishinoya: Woah, I’m so used to Kenma going to your place

Kenma: We usually go to his place

Kenma: Change of scenery

Kuroo: 👅🍑

Kenma: Why are you like this

Kuroo: I’m only honest bbg

Kuroo: Also, I’m basically here Kenma

Kageyama: I’m here Hinata

Hinata: Okay! 😘

Hinata: I MEANT 😊

Tsukishima: Hmmm twice in a row. Interesting. I’m starting to think this isn’t on accident

Oikawa: Have fun on your weird date

Hinata: IT’S NOT A DATE

Kageyama: STOP















Chapter Text

KAGEYAMA GAVE HINATA A WHAT?

Sugawara: GUYS

Sugawara: ME AND DAICHI ARE OUT AND ABOUT

Sugawara: AND WE SAW OIKAWA AND IWAIZUMI

Sugawara: ON A DATE

Asahi: They’re?? Dating???

Daichi: Asahi what? Why didn’t you know that

Asahi: I’m not very active here… But anyways

Asahi: sO if they’re dating, isn’t it normal for them to go on dates?

Sugawara: YOU DON’T GET IT

Sugawara: THEY WERE HOLDING HANDS

Kuroo: Couples hold hands all the time? Suga you’re crazy

Sugawara:  IWAIZUMI LOOKED SO IN LOVE

Sugawara: SO IN LOVE LIKE THAT SHIT WAS HITTIN

Daichi: Suga calm down lol

Sugawara: Sorry I just had to get it off my chest like he was so cute

Sugawara: They were so cute

Sugawara: Anyways, I’m gonna watch a movie with Daichi

Sugawara: 🥰

Hinata: I wanna go to the movies

Kageyama: We can go

Hinata: What?

Kageyama: We can go to the movies together?

Hinata: ??

Kenma: HINATA

Kenma: HINATA STOP RUINING IT

Kageyama: We don’t have to go. It was just an offer

Kageyama: If you don’t wanna go with me it’s fine

Hinata: NO SORRY I WANNA GO

Hinata: I WSA just syrprised

Tsukishima: Wow

Tsukishima: He’s so flustered he can’t type properly 

Hinata: IM NIT FLUSTRTD

Kenma: lol sure

Tsukishima: Lol sure

Sugawara: Someone’s flustered

Hinata: GO WATCH YOUR MOVIE

Sugawara: Don’t yell at me

Kageyama: Lol

Kageyama: There’s nothing I’ve really been wanting to see so you can just tell me what you want to watch

Hinata: Omg!! Natsu always gets to choose! I’ll look and let you know!

Kageyama: :-)

Tsukishima: And, for some reason, we get to see them plan their first date. How wholesome.

Hinata: Kageyama I’m so excited!

Asahi: This is the perfect opportunity for you to talk in private

Kenma: Shut up I want to watch this happen

Kenma: Don’t ruin this for me!

Asahi: Sorry

Kageyama: Me too :-)

Hinata: :-)

Kageyama: :-)

Hinata: :-)

Kageyama: :-)

Hinata: :-)

Kageyama: :-)

Tsukishima: Stop that

Kageyama: :-)

Tsukishima: Tobio

Kageyama: :-(

Kuroo: LOOK WHAT YOU DID TSUKKI FIX IT FIX IT

Kuroo: Also… They didn’t deny it was a date 😈

Kuroo: Is it a date?

Hinata: IT ITSN’T

Kageyama: Idk

Kageyama: It isn’t lol

Kageyama: Haha

Kenma: omg SHOUYOU YOU PISS ME OFF

 

-

 

Tsukishima and Kageyama

Kageyama: That was so awkward

Tsukishima: It wasn’t that bad. You’re overthinking it

Tsukishima: You asked him out tho soooo

Tsukishima: Kinda proud of you

Kageyama: Thanks :-)

Kageyama: WAIT WHAT

Kageyama: TSUKISHIMA WHAT YOURE PROUD OMG

Kageyama: REPLY TO ME

 

--

 

Kuroo changed the group name to Just Ate Ass

Kuroo: 🥵🥵

Kenma: So you want to die?

Kuroo: 👅🍑💦😈

Kenma: You’re being ugly 💗

Kuroo: 💓

Daichi: And you’re telling us this because?

Kuroo: Because I just ate ass

Kuroo: What more of a reason do you need

Kuroo: But ngl I thought this was another groupchat teehee

Kenma: KURO WHAT GROUPCHAT

Kuroo: Just a groupchat

Kenma: WHY ARE YOU TELLING SO MANY PEOPLE

Kuroo: Because I’m doing what I love and they want to see me succeed 

Kenma: You have to be the most embarrassing bitch out here

Kuroo: U kno it

Kenma: But who’s in the groupchat

Kuroo: Bokuto and Akaashi

Kenma: Kuro I have no words

Kuroo: Don’t worry, I changed the name there too

Kuroo changed their name to Ass Eater

Kenma changed Ass Eater ’s name to Kuroo

Kenma: Kuro, I love you, but you’re embarrassing me

Kuroo:  😢 bb 

Kenma: I still luv u 😌

Nishinoya: Wish I had a man like that

Asahi: Noya… 

Nishinoya: A proud ass eater 😣 Need that energy

Asahi: I think

Asahi: I think

Asahi has left the chat

Nishinoya: He’s a shy ass eater

Daichi: NOYA

-

Just Ate Ass

 

Oikawa: GUYS

Oikawa: Ew this chat name 

Oikawa changed the group name to Iwa chan is too cute

Kuroo: What happened?

Oikawa: IM SLEEPING AT IWA-CHAN’S HOUSE

Oikawa: SO WE’RE LAYING IN BED AND I LIKE CLOSE MY EYES FOR A LITTLE BECAUSE

Oikawa: WE WERE LISTENING TO MUSIC AND JUST LAYING THERE SO I WAS HM TIME TO JUST LIKE THINK

Oikawa: AND I THINK I WAS DOING IT FOR SO LONG THAT HE THOUGHT I WAS ASLEEP

Kuroo: ????

Oikawa: NO

Oikawa: KUROO THAT’S NOT ALL

Oikawa: Where is everyone???!!!!

Oikawa: Whatever they’ll read it in the morning

Kuroo: Kenma be asleep ❤️

Kuroo: Dude he’s so cute

Kuroo: Anyways sorry, go on.

Oikawa: OKAY SO IWA-CHAN THOUGHT I WAS ASLEEP

Oikawa: He LIKE GOES

Oikawa: Goodnight Tooru

Oikawa: ANd kISSES MY FOREHEAD

Oikawa: MY FOREHEAD. HE KISSES IT.

Oikawa: AND THEN HE LIKE TURNS THE MUSIC DOWN AND PULLS THE BLANKET OVER US AND THEN LIKE HE WENT TO SLEEP

Kuroo: Thats cute shut up

Kuroo: WAIT THATS SO CUTE SHUT UP

Kuroo: EW THATS CUTE SHUT UP

Oikawa: RIGHT??????

Oikawa: Like how long has he been doing that to me??????

Oikawa: I fall asleep at his house A LOT

Oikawa: Oh my god I’m so in love

Kuroo: YOU ARE SO IN LOVE

Kuroo: IN LOVE IN LOVE IN LOVE

Oikawa: Okay, just had to tell someone

Oikawa: Well I’m gonna actually go to sleep now

Oikawa: And cuddle my handsome Iwa-chan 🥰🥰

Kuroo: Goodnight cuties

Oikawa: 💖 night

Kuroo: Can’t wait till Iwaizumi sees that he has been exposed when he wakes up 🥰









Chapter Text

KAGEYAMA GAVE HINATA A WHAT?

Kuroo: i’ve been on facetime with kenma for literally 45 hours

Kuroo: is this what true love means

Kageyama: wish i could relate

Hinata: wtf kageyama

Tsukishima: why have you two been on the phone for that long

Tsukishima: aren’t you normally hanging out anyway

Kuroo: yes but it seems that my sweet baby kenma has gotten sick

Kuroo: which isn’t something i care about but he won’t let me over 👿

Kenma: kuro you don’t need to get sick

Kenma: calm down

Kuroo: i miss your beautiful face

Kuroo: i’m so sad i miss u so much

Yamaguchi: ???? u’ve been staring at him for ‘literally 45 hours’

Yamaguchi: u can’t miss him that much

Kuroo: i miss his ass

Kenma: he misses my ass

Daichi: i

Daichi: didn’t expect that

Nishinoya changed the group name to Asahi I miss YOUR ass

Sugawara: asahi isn’t in this gc noya

Nishinoya: WHAT

Suga: he left remember??

Nishinoya: AND NO ONE ADDED HIM BACK?

Sugawara: YOU COULD HAVE ADDED HIM BACK TOO

Nishinoya: i can’t believe this

Nishinoya: u guys added OIKAWA back but NOT ASAHI?

Nishinoya: OIKAWA?

Oikawa: HEY

Nishinoya added Asahi to Asahi I miss YOUR ass

Asahi:damn

Asahi: and just when i was starting to sleep without being woken up by all of u

Tsukishima: do none of you people turn off your notifications when you go to sleep

Nishinoya: asahi i’ve missed you

Asahi: you’re literally laying on top of me right now

Nishinoya: i’ve MISSED you

Kuroo: he’s laying on you????

Kuroo: awww

Kuroo: kenma…..

Kuroo: kenma please….

Kenma: kuro stop

Kuroo: 😭

 

Monday AM

Asahi I miss YOUR ass

Kuroo: i LIED OK

Kuroo: i can’t stop THINKING ABOUT IT

Kuroo: u guys don’t understand

Kuroo: i CAN’T FALL ASLEEP

Kuroo: because i don’t have my ARMS AROUND HIM

Kuroo: i MISS PLAYING WITH HIS HAIR AND WATCHING HIM FALL ASLEEP TO IT

Kuroo: head empty thoughts kenma

Kenma: jesus christ

Sugawara: wonder what that’s like 🥰

Sugawara: daichi is always here with me 🥰🥰

Kuroo: suga 

Kuroo: you are so cruel

Asahi: GO TO SLEEP

 

Friday PM

Asahi I miss YOUR ass

Kenma: guess who’s feeling better but isn’t going to leave the house still

Kenma: bc she DO be just so depressed tho

Kuroo: I’M COMING OVER

Daichi: finally omfg.

Daichi: maybe he’ll shut up now

 

-

 

Kuroo: attached image

Kuroo: yes that’s kenma sleeping on me yes the balance has been restored to the world once more

Tsukishima: you’re so annoying

 

Saturday AM

Hinata and Kenma:

Hinata: i just got this really good idea

Kenma: i’m sure it isn’t but ok

Kenma: what is it

Hinata: watch watch watch

 

Asahi I miss YOUR ass

Hinata: i’m so bored :(

Hinata: i have nothing to doooo

Hinata: someone hang out with meeee

 

Hinata and Kenma: 

Kenma: you’re a genius

 

Asahi I miss YOUR ass

Kageyama: wtf stop spamming the groupchat

Hinata: but i’m boreddddd

Kageyama: do you want to come over to my house?

Oikawa: omg

Hinata: yes!!!! I’ll get ready now

Tsukishima: wow

Asahi: please guys please just message each other in your own chats

 

Saturday PM

Asahi I miss YOUR ass

Kageyama: Hinata smells good.

Oikawa: ...excuse me?

Daichi: what

Tanaka: wtf

Kageyama: sorry wrong chat

Asahi: ???

Asahi: what kind of conversations are you having kageyama

Nishinoya changed the group name to Hinata smells good

Hinata: you think i smell good?

Kageyama: Yeah.

 

Tsukishima and Kageyama:

Kageyama: i’m so embarrassed

Kageyama: that was supposed to go to you

Tsukishima: you’re so stupid why don’t you read the chats you’re clicking on more carefully

Kageyama: i’m overwhelmed ok

Kageyama: and it’s not my fault they blow up the gc so much that it’s always in my recents

Kageyama: but he smells like strawberries

Kageyama: like his hair does

Kageyama: i can’t handle it

Tsukishima: … why are you smelling his hair

Kageyama: i like

Kageyama: had my chin on top of his head

Tsukishima: what situation were you in for this to happen i’m so confused

Kageyama: i don’t know

Kageyama: i don’t know what’s happening anymore

 

Sunday AM

Hinata smells good

Hinata: what do i smell like?
Kenma: probably shit

Oikawa: shit

Kageyama: strawberries

Daichi: shit

Tanaka: shit

Hinata: hmmmm

Nishinoya: strawberries??? Wtf

Kageyama: it’s his shampoo i think

Kageyama: it was his hair

Nishinoya: you’re getting too comfortable in this groupchat kageyama

Oikawa: tobio why were you smelling his hair

Kenma: i have no words

Daichi: what..

Hinata: i was sitting on him for a second idk maybe it was then

Tanaka: so like… u two were cuddling

Kageyama: yeah i guess

Kuroo: so…. Cuddling… were u guys like… on a little date or….

Hinata: what? I wouldn’t go on a date with the idiot

Kageyama: Ew. I wouldn’t do that kind of thing with Hinata.

Kenma: i literally have no words

Tanaka changed the group name to hinata’s hair smells good because for some reason they were cuddling but they won’t admit they want to go on a date

Sugawara: it’s 4am can all of you please go to sleep 

Daichi: go to sleep guys wtf!!!

Sugawara: lmfaoooo. daichi don’t even act like u weren’t participating in that conversation 

Tanaka: uh-oh 😳 trouble in paradise?

Sugawara: tanaka.

Tanaka: goodnight!!!!

 

Daichi and Sugawara:

Sugawara: i love you. goodnight 🥰❤️

Daichi: i love you too❤️❤️❤️

 

Tuesday PM

hinata’s hair smells good because for some reason they were cuddling but they won’t admit they want to go on a date

Nishinoya: shouyou what are you wearing

Asahi: leave him alone he looks cute

Kenma: what

Kenma: what is he wearing

Daichi: ???

Kageyama: ?

Hinata: stoppp natsu wanted to pick out my outfit today lol

Nishinoya: he’s wearing green overalls

Asahi: leave him be he looks cute

Kageyama: and you two know this why ?

Oikawa: jealous tobio?

Nishinoya: we saw him when we were out on a date 😍

Asahi: lol he was at the store

Asahi: yuu we were literally at the store

Oikawa: shouyou don’t be shy show us your outfit

Sugawara: don’t be shy, show us

Hinata: attached image

 

Tsukishima and Kageyama:

Kageyama: tsukki i’m dying

Kageyama: he’s so cute

Tsukishima: tell him

 

hinata’s hair smells good because for some reason they were cuddling but they won’t admit they want to go on a date

 

Kageyama: hinata you’re cute

Hinata: thanks

 

Kenma and Hinata:

Kenma: are you fucking kidding me shouyou

Kenma: why did you say thanks

Hinata: I DIDN’T MEAN TO I PANICKED

 

Tsukishima and Kageyama:

Tsukishima: i didn’t mean to say it in the groupchat you idiot

Kageyama: I PANICKED OKAY

 

hinata’s hair smells good because for some reason they were cuddling but they won’t admit they want to go on a date

Hinata: kageyama you’re cute too

Kageyama: ..thanks

Kenma: i literally hate you two

Kenma: i really, really do.

Chapter Text

hinata’s hair smells good because for some reason they were cuddling but they won’t admit they want to go on a date

Nishinoya: sigh

Nishinoya: Sigh sigh

Nishinoya: … 

Nishinoya: Sigh

Nishinoya: SIGH SIGH SIGH SIGH SIGH SIGH

Nishinoya: DOES NO ONE CARE ABOUT ME?

Nishinoya: This is the end. I’m gonna die alone

Hinata: I was doing homework sorry

Hinata: And Yamaguchi is with me

Hinata: What’s wrong

Nishinoya: I miss Ryuu :(

Hinata: Text him?

Nishinoya: I did. We’re texting right now

Hinata: I don’t know what you want from me

Nishinoya: I want Ryuu 😤

Nishinoya: RYUUUU

Asahi: Noya please

Asahi: If you’re texting him I don’t see the problem.

Asahi: He’s on his way home, can you give him some time?

Nishinoya: I miss him

Asahi: He literally just left.

Nishinoya: He’s not replying now!

Asahi: BECAUSE HE’S WALKING HOME

Nishinoya: Why are you mad at me? 😞

Nishinoya: First I don’t have Ryuu and now my boyf is mad at me

Asahi: I’m literally not mad

Nishinoya: 😔😔

Asahi: Why are you like this?

Daichi: Stop being a brat, Noya

Nishinoya: It’s because ASAHI HASN’T KISSED ME ALL DAY

Hinata: Literally you never said that

Nishinoya: UM I SHOULDN’T HAVE TO SAY IT

Nishinoya: ASAHI MY KISSOMETER IS RUNNING LOW

Daichi: You are too much right now.

Sugawara: 🙃 Noya calm down

Nishinoya: Well now my kissometer is full. Thank you Asahi.

Asahi: Sorry. We’ve been so busy all day I didn’t even notice 🥺

Nishinoya: ♥️

Tanaka: Sorry Noya! Just got home

Nishinoya: I MISSED YOU SO MUCH

Tanaka: I MISSED YOU TOO

Asahi: Guys you

Asahi: Just saw each other?

Nishinoya: I will never stop needing to see him

Nishinoya: Tanaka is my bro, my guy, my rock

Sugawara: I’m sure if Asahi had just left instead you’d react the same

Nishinoya: Asahi is my rock

Nishinoya: My tall, handsome, warm, loving, gives the best hugs, is a great kisser, dresses so good, shy, nervous but cute, handsome, great at volleyball, strong, handsome rock.

Hinata: aw how sweet

Tanaka: HAHA WHAT ARE YOU EVEN SAYING NOYA

Nishinoya: The truth

Asahi: Stop that

Sugawara: HAHSH

Hinata: I thought it was cute

Tanaka: Of course you did

Hinata: Where is Kageyama?

Hinata: I mean everyone

Hinata: Where is everyone?

Sugawara: Is Kageyama not with you?

Hinata: No? Why would he be?

Sugawara: Idk, you guys seem to be together a lot.

Hinata: He hasn’t texted me all day actually

Oikawa: Sorry, I was catching up with the chat

Oikawa: Daichi, how do you do it?

Oikawa: Your team is so clingy. How do you maintain them?

Daichi: With Suga!

Oikawa: You maintain your team by depending on another person

Oikawa: You guys would be a trainwreck without each other

Sugawara: Is your team not like this?

Oikawa: They’re all pretty independent. They kinda do everything themselves

Daichi: It’s kinda fun to do

Daichi: It’s like dealing with 10 headaches

Sugawara: Aw

Sugawara: That’s sweet

Oikawa: What are you talking about? That sounds horrible. Koushi you are insane

Sugawara: I wasn’t included in the 10 🥰

Daichi: If they’re headaches, you’re advil😚

Sugawara: 😚 Daichiiii

Sugawara changed the group name to I LUV DAICHI

Asahi: Did you guys just text kiss?

Oikawa: I think

Oikawa: I think I hate them

Hinata: I think it’s cute

Oikawa: HINATA YOU THINK EVERYTHING IS CUTE YOU EVEN THINK TOBIO IS CUTE

Hinata: Why did you have to bring that up?

Oikawa: BECAUSE YOU’RE STUPID

Hinata: IM EMBARRASSED 

Oikawa: GOOD YOU DESERVE IT

Oikawa: ANYONE WHO THINKS TOBIO IS CUTE SHOULD BE EMBARRASSED

Hinata: WELL HE IS CUTE SO I THINK IM GONNA BE EMBARRASSED FOREVER

Hinata: How do I go about deleting a message from a group chat?

Sugawara: you can't ☺️

Hinata removed Kageyama from I LUV DAICHI

Oikawa added Kageyama to I LUV DAICHI

Hinata removed Kageyama from I LUV DAICHI

Sugawara added Kageyama to I LUV DAICHI

Tsukishima: So screenshots exist

Oikawa: HAHAH

Hinata: TSUKISHIMA NO

Kenma: Love waking up to chaos 😌

Kenma: Especially when it involves Shouyou

Hinata: Why are you all like this

 

Tsukishima and Kageyama

Tsukishima: Attached Image

Tsukishima: Also, earlier he was asking where you were so maybe text him when you get home

Tsukishima: Or the group

 

I LUV DAICHI

Kenma: I wish Kuroo would wake up

Kenma: I want coffee

Nishinoya: why don’t you just get coffee?

Kenma: Because if he wakes up he’ll make it for me

Oikawa: Lazy

Kenma: It’s what I deserve 

Sugawara: Daichi brings me coffee before school 😊

Oikawa: What doesn’t Daichi do?

Sugawara: Daichi only does everything right

Sugawara: And he’s so caring

Sugawara: And he’s handsome

Sugawara: Love that man

Kenma: You guys are gross

Kenma: And married

Sugawara: Me, but Daichi’s wife 😩 I need that

Sugawara: And Kageyama as our son

Sugawara: Koushi Sawamura

Sugawara: Tobio Sawamura

Nishinoya: You’re being so vocal with your love today, Suga

Sugawara: Idk why, it just felt like it was right

Sugawara: That and I need to put my thoughts somewhere because I spent every day with him last week and am absolutely OVERWHELMED by the love I feel

Kageyama: My notifications look horrible

Hinata: Kageyama!

Kageyama: Hi

Hinata: Hi!!

Hinata: Where were you all day?

Kageyama: I was helping Miwa move into her apartment, sorry

Kenma: Did Tsukishima send you anything?

Kageyama: Yes

Oikawa: And?

Kageyama: I think Hinata is cuter

Hinata: SHUT UP

 

Kenma  and Hinata

Kenma: why would you say that

Kenma: HE WAS BEING NICE AND YOU TELL HIM TO SHUT UP

Kenma: HINATA HE’S TRYIGN

Hinata: IM SORRTY

 

I LUV DAICHI

 

Hinata: You’re cuter

Kageyama: I’m not

Hinata: You are

Kageyama: I’m not

Hinata: You are

Kageyama: I’m not!

Hinata: You are!

Kageyama: I’M NOT

Oikawa: Why is this happening

Oikawa: Just compliment each other like normal people please

Chapter Text

Tuesday PM

I LUV DAICHI

Kenma: umm….

Kenma: i don’t know what’s happening..

Kuroo: what’s happening bbg what’s wrong?

Oikawa: ???

Daichi: ?

Kenma: i… miss ? shouyou?

Kenma: a lot??

Hinata: AWWWW

Kageyama: me too

Oikawa: tobio what

Kenma: this isn’t about you kageyama

Nishinoya: I MISS RYU

Oikawa: yeah we already know 

Kuroo: i MISS BOKUTO

Tsukishima: ew.

Yamaguchi: u have a life outside of kenma??

Kuroo: lol of course i have a life outside of kenma 

Kuroo: and that life is bokuto

Hinata: who is that

Oikawa: don’t ask

Hinata: WHO IS THAT?

Kageyama: idiot typing it in all caps doesn’t change anything

Kenma: you really don’t want him in this shouyou

Kenma: trust me

Kuroo added Bokuto to the chat

Hinata: YESSS

Bokuto: KUROO ANOTHER GROUPCHAT?

Bokuto : WHAT’S UP EVERYBODY

Kuroo : BOKUTO I MISS YOU

Bokuto: OH YEAH?🤔😳 

Kuroo: YEAH🤗😳

Kenma has removed Bokuto from the chat

Kuroo: KENMAAAAA

Kenma: you already have like five groupchats with bokuto
Kenma: and i’m in like three of them. i don’t need to add the stress of a fourth bokuto and kuroo groupchat to my notifications

Daichi: FIVE?

Kuroo: i … actually have 7..

Daichi: is that including the one i’m in?

Kuroo: ok… i have 8 then…

Tanaka: wait daichi ur in another groupchat?

Kenma: how is that the only thing you got from this conversation

Daichi : it’s a team captains gc 

Tanaka: SOUNDS COOL

Kenma: ANYWAY

Kenma: THAT’S PROVING MY POINT YOU FREAK

Kuroo: BUT I MISS HIM..

Kenma: YOU TALK TO HIM ON THE PHONE EVERYDAY

Kenma: AND PLAY VOLLEYBALL WITH HIM ALL THE TIME

Hinata: YEAH

Kageyama: hinata why are you including yourself in this

Hinata: kenma seems passionate about this and if kenma’s passionate then i’m passionate

Kageyama : you’re not passionate about things i’m passionate about

Hinata: YES I AM

Kenma: WHY are you two doing this?

Kenma: GO DO THIS SOMEWHERE ELSE

Kuroo : i may talk to bokuto everyday but i STILL MISS HIM

Kuroo : Noya understands me…

Nishinoya : I DO UNDERSTAND

Tanaka added Bokuto to the chat

Tanaka: I UNDERSTAND TOO

Bokuto: ME TOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Bokuto : SOMEONE IS MISSING FROM THIS GROUPCHAT….

Kuroo: yes yes YES YES 

Bokuto added Akaashi:

Bokuto: AKAASHI!!!!!

Akaashi left the chat

Bokuto: akaashi :(

Kenma removed Bokuto from the chat

Kuroo added Bokuto to the chat

Kenma removed Bokuto from the chat

Tanaka added Bokuto to the chat

Bokuto: KENMA WHY

Kenma removed Bokuto from the chat

Nishinoya added Bokuto to the chat

Bokuto : PLEASE JUST LET ME STAY

Kenma u have 24 hours

Bokuto: CAN I AT LEAST ADD AKAASHI…

Kenma: yes bc i love akaashi 💗💗💗

Bokuto added Akaashi to the chat :

Bokuto : i think i love him more but ok

Akaashi: aw

Akaashi: but i still don’t want to be in another groupchat

Akaashi left the chat

Bokuto: AKAASHI:((((

 

Friday PM

Kenma and Hinata

Hinata: kenma

Hinata: come visit me and WE CAN CUDDLE

Hinata: I CAN EVEN INVITE OIKAWA OVER 

Hinata: IT'LL BE LIKE WHEN WE WERE KIDS

Kenma: STOPPP I WISH

Kenma: guess i’ll just have to cuddle with kuroo 😔✊🏻

Hinata: as if that isn’t ur favorite thing to do…

Kenma: someone’s just bitter

 

I LUV DAICHI

Kenma: hinata’s sad 

Kageyama: why

Kageyama: what’s wrong with him 

Tsukishima: i didn’t know his brain was complex enough to get sad

Kageyama : kei don’t be mean to him if he’s sad 

Daichi: WOW

Kenma: he misses my cuddles

Oikawa: I MISS YOUR CUDDLES TOO

Kuroo removed Hinata and Oikawa from the chat

Daichi: LMFAO KUROO

Bokuto: AHAHAHAHA

Kenma: bokuto why are you still here

Bokuto: KENMA PLEASE LET ME STAY

Bokuto: even tho i’m incomplete here without… 

Bokuto added Akaashi to the chat

Bokuto: AKAASHI!!!

Akaashi: please stop

Akaashi left the chat

Bokuto : akaashi has spoken 😪

Tsukishima: omg

Bokuto: if no one wants me here anyway.. 💔💔💔

Kenma: yes, leave

Kuroo: BOKUTO NO!!!!!

Bokuto left the chat

Kuroo: BOKUTO!!!!!!😭😭😭💔💔

Kuroo set the group name to BOKUTO!!!😭

Kageyama: where’s hinata

Kageyama added Hinata to the chat

Hinata: kageyama!

Kageyama: Hinata!

Hinata: kageyama!

Kageyama: Hinata!

Daichi: stop

Iwaizumi added Oikawa to the chat

Oikawa: YAY

Oikawa: hinata i can come cuddle u🥰🤲🏻

Iwaizumi: u will not

Oikawa: yes sir 😳😳😍

Sugawara: ew stop

Kageyama: hinata you can come over to my house…

Kenma: for what kageyama

Oikawa: for what kageyama

Tanaka: for what kageyama

Kageyama: u know….

Hinata: no

Kageyama: no as in no to coming over or no as in no you don’t know 

Kenma: what does that mean

Daichi: jesus christ

Yamaguchi: hinata just go over to kageyama’s and cuddle him

Hinata: hang on i have to do something

 

-

 

Kenma and Hinata:

Kenma: wtf

Kenma: i know for a fact you have nothing to do rn

Kenma: just go???

Kenma: why are you ruining my life

Hinata: i have to wash my hair

Kenma: oh my god 

 

-

 

BOKUTO!!!😭

Kenma: attached screenshot

Sugawara: LMAO

Tsukishima: oh good kageyama’s favorite smell 

Kageyama: skfhskdjsk

Tsukishima: wow

Daichi: graceful as always...

 

-

Hinata: i'm on my way kageyama!!

Iwaizumi: strawberry head and all

Sugawara: LMFAOOO

Chapter Text

BOKUTO!!! 😭

Oikawa: Crazy random quick hypothetical question

Oikawa: How does one say

Oikawa: Hypothetically speaking

Oikawa: “ I don’t want to go on a date with you because I have a boyfriend who treats me nicely and I’ve loved him ever since we were kids

Oikawa: And I’ll never want to go on a date with you because not only do I not like you that way, but also I will never stop loving my boyfriend so there’s literally no chance for you or anyone ever”

Oikawa: Without sounding like a bitch

Oikawa: Hypothetically speaking that is

Sugawara: You say “Sorry but I have a boyfriend who i really love so I can’t go on a date with you”

Kenma: You say “ew”

Kuroo: You say “Better luck next time loser”

Oikawa: Okay, thank you KOUSHI

Oikawa: One of the few sane ones in the chat

Sugawara: Of course!

Iwaizumi: Who was it?

Oikawa: It was hypothetical teehee

Iwaizumi: Dumbass who was it?

Oikawa: Just a guy Iwa-chan no worries! (*゚▽゚*)

Oikawa: I just texted him that i can’t go

Iwaizumi: Just tell me who it is

Iwaizumi: Why does he have your number?

Iwaizumi: Why were you texting him if he likes you?

Iwaizumi: Was it Terushima again?

Oikawa: Yeah, it was Terushima

Iwaizumi: okay

Oikawa: Iwa-chan it’s fine. It was just a text

Iwaizumi: I want to kill him

Oikawa: It’s not that serious

Iwaizumi: Then I want to beat his ass

Oikawa: That’s more reasonable

Kenma: OIKAWA

Sugawara: OIKAWA

Sugawara: In this house, we DO NOT resort to violence

Oikawa: If Iwa-chan wants to get rid of an annoying guy, it’s fine by me

Sugawara: Think about what you’re teaching Hinata

Hinata: y me

Oikawa: Oh please, if anything Tobio needs to be kept in line.

Oikawa: What is Shouyou gonna do? Use his strawberry scent to ward off girls from Tobio

Kageyama: y me

Kenma: Idiots

Hinata: I think strawberries smell good

Kageyama: Me too

Kenma: Cute

Sugawara: Oikawa, that is besides the point.

Sugawara: And Iwaizumi, a guy who hits on someone who is obviously taken is just asking for attention! Don’t feed into it

Sugawara: Oikawa told him that he isn’t going. If he can’t accept that then it isn’t your problem.

Iwaizumi: Fine

Kuroo: Mom mode Suga

Sugawara: It’s what I do best

Kenma changed the group name to Suga is a mom

Daichi: Jealousy is normal though, and it feels horrible so don’t feel too bad

Kuroo: Here comes dad

Sugawara: Exactly! 

Asahi: I feel like I’ve never really seen Daichi or Suga get jealous

Daichi: … 

Sugawara: Daichi… 

Oikawa: TELL US

Kenma: I demand this story

Daichi: It’s kinda minor

Sugawara: Minor lmao sure

Nishinoya: OMG IS THIS ABOUT WHO I THINK IT’S ABOUT

Tanaka: IT TOTALLY IS

Oikawa: WHO WHO WHO

Kuroo: WHO WHO WHO

Kenma: Stop saying that, it reminds me of Bokuto… 

Sugawara: Ew ew I hate talking about her cause I get so pissed off

Sugawara: There’s this girl from Karasuno. She’s on the girls volleyball team

Sugawara: and I SWEAR she has a crush on Daichi

Sugawara: But daichi always denies

Daichi: Suga, we’re friends

Sugawara: FRIENDS BUT SHE WANTS YOUR DICK

Sugawara: AND YOUR LOVE AND AFFECTION

Sugawara: ALL OF THOSE ARE MINE

Oikawa: Suddenly the calm about jealousy Koushi is gone

Sugawara: She doesn’t even try to hide it. I think she’s under the impression that it’s a competition

Sugawara: But it isn’t because Daichi is mine.

Daichi: Suga please

Sugawara: Once, she brought him a good luck charm for a game. BITCH I AM DAICHI’S GOOD LUCK CHARM

Daichi: So yes, jealousy is totally normal.

Kuroo: I’m pretty sure Lev has a big ass crush on Kenma

Kenma: Ew Kuro

Kenma: Why would you say that??? Like ew

Kenma: You just gave me the chills

Kuroo: Because I’m like positive he has a crush on you

Kuroo: He always asks about you and wants to bother you. And he always says you’re cute and stuff

Kuroo: So I make him run extra laps 😎 Because I know Kenma is cute, you don’t have to tell me

Kenma: I want to transfer schools

Kenma: No. That’s not enough

Kenma: I need to leave Japan. I don’t want to look at Lev again

Hinata: Well he’s on your team so…

Kenma: Kuro kick him off of the team

Kuroo: As much as I want to, I can’t just do that. Also, he’s got potential so... 

Kuroo: Now that I think about it, Tsukki is probably popular

Tsukishima: why bring me into this

Kuroo: Because I want to know, are you?

Yamaguchi: Tsukki’s super popular! 

Kuroo: And you don’t get upset?

Yamaguchi: No, none of them do anything. They just like, talk about him.

Kenma: Well, if Tsukishima is popular does that mean Kageyama is popular?

Oikawa: He wishes

Daichi: Actually, yes

Hinata: Wut

Daichi: Yeah, sometimes girls stop by the gym and try to watch practice but Ukai turns them away

Hinata: Wut

Daichi: And once I watched him get confessed to

Hinata: WUt

Daichi: Well I watched on accident

Kageyama: I felt really bad for her

Daichi: Yeah, so did I

Sugawara: But at least you were nice about it!

Oikawa: I never thought he’d be popular

Hinata: Well he’s tall and polite. And he’s a genius when it comes to volleyball

Hinata: That’s what the girls in my classes say haha

Kenma: Yeah sure

Oikawa: Yeah the girls in your classes

Oikawa: I bet that’s exactly who says that

Hinata: Why are you always like this

Kenma: Because you piss us off

Chapter Text

Suga is a mom

Asahi: hello!

Asahi: What is everyone doing this weekend?

Nishinoya: ASAHI

Nishinoya: I wanna see you 🥺

Asahi: You can come over

Nishinoya: OMW OMW OMW

Asahi: ☺️

Yamaguchi: I’m not doing anything this weekend

Yamaguchi: So as of right now I’m gonna take lots of naps!

Hinata: Natsu wants me to teach her how to play volleyball

Tsukishima: She couldn’t find anyone better?

Hinata: wow okay

Yamaguchi: TSUKKI AHAH

Oikawa: Me and Iwa-chan are spending time with Takeru

Kuroo: Me and Kenma are sleeping over at Bokuto’s tonight!

Kenma: Woo

Oikawa: I thought Bokuto annoys you

Kenma: He exhausts me, but Akaashi will be there and we can ignore them

Kuroo: WHAT DO YOU MEAN “THEM” KENMA YOU LOVE ME

Kenma: But Bokuto is so loud with you

Kuroo: Bokuto is always loud

Kuroo: I love him

Kuroo: And he loves you Kenma!

Kenma: I don’t hate him. He’s just annoying

Kuroo: OMG I HAVE TO TELL HIM

Kenma: Stop please don’t

Kenma: He’ll probably hug me

Kenma: Ew

Hinata: A sleepover? That sounds so fun!

Daichi: Sounds like a mess

Hinata: 😧

Oikawa: WHY DO YOU USE THE ONE WITH EYEBROWS

Hinata: He’s cute

Oikawa: no he is not!

Daichi: Anyways, Suga and I are making dinner for my mom tomorrow while she’s at work

Yamaguchi: That’s cute!

Daichi: Yes! My mom loves Suga

Sugawara: ❤️ I love her too

Hinata: Is Tsukishima just gonna insult me then leave?

Hinata: Like, not even tell us his weekend plans?

-

Kenma: update: Bokuto hugged me

Kenma: like picked me up and spinned me around

Kenma: spinned?

Kenma: span?

Kenma: Spun???

Kenma: whatever

Kenma: Attached Image

Kenma: Akaashi says hello

Oikawa: Hello fellow pretty setter

Kageyama: Hello Akaashi!

Kageyama: Akaashi is pretty

Hinata: Um

Oikawa: HAHA

Kenma: Akaashi says thank you

Kenma: He’s also acting very shy aw aw

Hinata: UM

Kageyama: ??

Hinata: Am I not pretty?

Kageyama: What?

Hinata: You never say I’m pretty

Kageyama: I didn’t know I had to

Oikawa: Yeah, why would he have to Hinata?

Hinata: Just because… 

Kenma: lol

Kageyama: I say you’re cute

Hinata: But cute and pretty aren’t the same!!!

Kageyama: I don’t know what you want from me

Hinata: Well I DON’T KNOW EITHER KAGEYAMA JEEZ

Hinata: STOP ASKING ME QUESTIONS JEEZ

Oikawa: You are being so

Oikawa: So embarrassing

Kageyama: I know pretty and cute are different dumbass

Hinata: so you don’t think I’m pretty?

Kageyama: you’re more cute than you are pretty

Kageyama: that doesn’t mean you’re not pretty. It just means you’re cute

Hinata: you’re weird

Oikawa: no, you’re being weird shouyou

Hinata: then who do you consider pretty?

Kageyama: akaashi, Oikawa and suga

Kageyama: Kiyoko is also pretty

Tanaka: she really is 😫

Sugawara: aw thank you

Sugawara: my son is so sweet

Oikawa: omg Tobio what

Oikawa: you think I’m pretty

Kageyama: yes

Oikawa: good. Everyone should

Kageyama: but Hinata, you’re cute

Kageyama: like Kenma and Yamaguchi and Yachi and Noya

Kageyama: except you’re the cutest

Kenma: I would be offended but I’m living for THIS MOMENT

Oikawa: SHUT UP SHUT UP

Nishinoya: Kageyama thinks I’m cute 😎

Asahi: stop ruining their moment

Hinata: but why can’t I be pretty???

Tsukishima: wow

Tsukishima: you are, somehow, worse than I thought

Kenma: next time I see you shouyou, I’m beating you up

Kageyama left the chat

Kuroo: WHY DID MY MAN LEAVE

Chapter Text

Monday AM

Suga is a mom

Kenma: do you guys ever turn the hot water all the way up in the shower just so you can feel something

Kageyama: yes

Daichi: ????!

Sugawara: lol yes

Daichi: !!!!!!!

Daichi: doesn’t that hurt?

Hinata: yes

Yamaguchi: yeah

Daichi: guys

Daichi: guys wtf

Nishinoya: i love hot showers

Nishinoya: they’re so amazing

Nishinoya: doesn’t EVERYONE agree??

Nishinoya: i mean no PSYCHOPATH likes cold showers 

Nishinoya: because they’re HORRIBLE

Asahi: why do you do this to me all the time

Nishinoya: BECAUSE COLD SHOWERS AREN’T ENJOYABLE ASAHI

Asahi: they are!! You just won’t give them a chance!

Nishinoya: BECAUSE I’M NOT A FREAK

Kuroo: i take a lot of cold showers if u know what i mean ;)

Oikawa: why do that when you can just

Oikawa: you know ;)

Iwaizumi: it’s too early for you guys to be talking about this

Kuroo: it’s 10AM!

Nishinoya: kuroo ur bf is the one who started it

Kuroo: we all know kenma would never start a conversation if he thought it would lead to us talking about jacking off

Kenma: i literally hate you so fucking much

Kenma: can u come over :(

Kuroo: yeah on my way bbg :(

Asahi: you two are so strange

-

Monday PM

Suga is a mom

Hinata: how often do you guys think about marching band

Tsukishima: literally never

Kageyama: every once in a while for some reason

Yamaguchi: ...never??

Kenma: everytime i see you in person, shouyou

Oikawa: same kenma

Daichi: i’m.. Not sure what that means

Daichi: pls elaborate??

Hinata: you don’t know what marching band is??

Kageyama: idiot he wasn’t talking to you

Hinata: maybe you should talk to me

Kageyama: ok. Do you wanna hang out?

Hinata: yes! Let me shower first!

Sugawara: LMAOO WHAT WAS THAT

Oikawa: um

Oikawa: anyway..

Oikawa: daichi, kenma and i have a joke that shouyou is literally the textbook definition of a band kid. I think kenma is the one who started it

Kenma: yeah it was me

Oikawa: and shouyou didn’t know what marching band was so Kenma showed him youtube videos of some american marching bands and he got way too into them

Kenma: he’s literally a freak about them

Daichi: ahhh ok ok makes more sense

Nishinoya: I LOVE MARCHING BAND

Tanaka: ME TOO

Tanaka: I MET A MARCHING BAND ONCE

Nishinoya: NO WAY

Kenma: can’t you two fucking band kid personality ass bitches go have this conversation somewhere else

Nishinoya: LMFAOOOO kuroo come get ur MAN 😳🤚🏻

Kuroo: i already have him

Kuroo: he is in my arms

Kuroo: 🥰🥰

Sugawara: need me a man like that

Daichi: SUGA???

Daichi: i’m RIGHT here

Sugawara: i know, i’m just bullying you bby 🥰😙

Daichi: 😙

Tsukishima: why… are you guys like this

 

-

Friday PM

Suga is a mom

Oikawa: i have this really fun game idea you guys do you want to play it!!!

Daichi: no

Sugawara: no

Tsukishima: no

Kenma: no

Iwaizumi: no

Oikawa: so it’s called I ASK YOU A QUESTION AND YOU HAVE TO ANSWER

Kenma: what

Kenma: that sounds so stupid

Kenma: and we literally all said no

 

Kenma and Oikawa:

Oikawa: kenma please just go along i have a plan

Kenma: not sure what that means but okay

 

Suga is a mom

Kenma: i mean

Kenma: wow oikawa sounds amazing let’s play

Oikawa: OKAY! WHO WANTS TO GO FIRST?

 

Kenma and Oikawa:

Oikawa: say shouyou

 

Suga is a mom:

Kenma: shouyou you should go first

Hinata: OKAY

Oikawa: first question do you have a crush on anyone

Hinata: i guess

Daichi: ‘i guess’

Oikawa: SECOND QUESTION WHO WANTS TO ANSWER

Sugawara: kageyama!!!

Kageyama: why me

Oikawa: is your crush short

Kageyama: ..yes 

Hinata: who is it?

Sugawara: AREYOUKIDDINGMEHASFDKAJHSD

Tsukishima: wow suga

Daichi: WOW

Oikawa: ok the rules are i can only ask two people questions at the same time. So Hinata. Second question

Iwaizumi: how do you pull things like this out of your ass so well?

Iwaizumi: it’s kind of impressive

Oikawa: awww iwa-chan~~~~~~

Iwaizumi: stop i take it back

Asahi : was that supposed to be a compliment?

Kuroo: iwaizumi watch and learn

Kuroo: kenma you’re my entire world and i love you more than anything and i can’t imagine my life without you

Kenma: stop

Sugawara: LMAO

Oikawa: leave iwa-chan alone

Oikawa: he knows how to compliment me, he does it all the time

Iwaizumi: stop, i’m embarrassed

Oikawa: anyway! 

Oikawa: second question hinata: does your crush have blue eyes

Hinata: yes

Kageyama: who is it?? 

Kageyama: is it kiyoko

Tanaka: ummm kiyoko has gray eyes, kageyama.

Tanaka: don’t disrespect her

Nishinoya: YEAH

Asahi: how is that disrespecting her?

Oikawa: i don’t want to play this game anymore it isn’t as fun as i thought it would be

Hinata: lol kageyama it isn’t kiyoko

Kageyama: what other girl do you know with blue eyes?

Kenma: i don’t think i’ve ever wanted to hit someone more than i want to hit you kageyama

Hinata: none lol it’s you

Nishinoya: WHATWHATWAHT

Yamaguchi: WHY ARE YOU SAYING TIHS IN THE GROUPCHAT

Hinata: hahahaha

Hinata: ahahahahahah

Hinata removed Kageyama from the chat

Hinata: ahahaha 

Kenma: hinata are you ok

Hinata: I DIDN’T MEAN TO SEND THAT HAHAHAHA

Hinata: ahahahahaha

Oikawa: I’M LITERALLY 

Oikawa: SCREAMING

Kenma added Kageyama to the chat

Kageyama: you like me?

Hinata: yeah

Kageyama: oh

 

Tsukishima and Kageyama:

Tsukishima: ARE YOU AN IDIOT

Tsukishima: SAY SOMETHING OTHER THAN ‘OH’

Kageyama: LIKE WHAT

Tsukishima: I DON’T KNOW. ANYTHING

 

Suga is a mom

Kageyama: well i’m pretty sure i had a crush on you first, so.

Hinata: no you didn’t, stupid.

Kenma: are you

Kenma: are you kidding me

Daichi: guys…

Sugawara: why am I not surprised?

Kageyama: yeah, i’ve liked you since school started

Hinata: well i’m pretty sure I like you MORE than you like me

Kageyama: you don’t, so stop trying.

Kuroo: please stop

Kuroo: i’m begging you

Kageyama: hmm

Kageyama: hinata do you want to be my boyfriend?

Iwaizumi: and we get to see this for some reason

Yamaguchi: wtf

Hinata: YES

Kageyama: cool, so I asked you out. Which means I win.

Hinata: kageyama let’s break up

Hinata: kageyama do you want to be my boyfriend?

Kageyama: idiot i already won.

Oikawa: PLEASE STOP OH MY GOD

Kageyama: do you want to come over?

Kageyama: we can watch a movie

Hinata: okay!! ❤️

Kageyama: ❤️

Kenma: this is unbearable 

Sugawara: i think it’s cute

Chapter Text

Hinata has changed the group name to 😊

Hinata: hi handsome!!!!

Kuroo: hey

Oikawa: hi

Tanaka: HI!

Hinata: I’m talking to Kageyama!!

Kageyama: oh

Kageyama: hi :-)

Hinata: 😊

Oikawa: ew you guys are so cute

Sugawara: who would’ve thought we’d see the day that those two are dating

Kenma: I was scared it was never going to happen

Tsukishima: me too honestly

Tsukishima: It was horrible to watch

Asahi: Very embarrassing

Sugawara: But we all have to admit. It was cute to see Kageyama flustered.

Sugawara: so refreshing and pure 

Kuroo: that sounds so cute. 

Kuroo: I wanna go to Karasuno

Tsukishima: No

Kuroo: Why? Do you not love me?

Tsukishima: I don’t

Tsukishima: Now stay in Tokyo please

Kenma: lmaooooo

Oikawa: KURO HA

Hinata: Kageyama, are you busy?

Kageyama: Nope!

Oikawa: Why do you always make plans in the groupchat?

Hinata: Wanna come over?

Kageyama: Yes

Oikawa: Literally go somewhere elses like, idk, A PRIVATE CHAT

Tsukishima: They’re probably too nervous to text each other

Kageyama: Stop that

-

Yamaguchi: Guys look!

Yamaguchi: Attached image

Yamaguchi: Tsukki bought me flowers!

Tsukishima: Yamaguchi don’t embarrass me

Yamaguchi: Sorry but it’s so cute

Oikawa: Awww, what’s the occasion?

Tsukishima: I just saw them at the store and they reminded me of him

Yamaguchi: 🥰🥰🥰🥰

Nishinoya: I want flowers :(((

Asahi: You don’t even own a vase

Asahi: I bought you sunflowers, remember?

Nishinoya: Yes but the gesture is cute

Asahi: I’ll buy you something else ❤️

Nishinoya: Like a fish?

Asahi: Why a fish

Nishinoya: I want a betta fish so bad

Nishinoya: I’m just craving parenthood, you know?

Kenma: No

Oikawa: No

Sugawara: Yes

Asahi: No

Asahi: Noya, we have a cat. So I won’t be getting you a fish

Nishinoya: Asaaahiiiii pleaseeeee

Asahi: No

Nishinoya: You must not love me

Nishinoya: You must not TRUST me

Asahi: Why are you so dramatic

Asahi: Please stop

Asahi: you might over feed it

Nishinoya: YOU CAN OVERFEED A FISH???? WHAT???

Asahi: omg

Daichi: omg

Tanaka: OMG HAHA

Kenma: I’m glad I don’t have a fish

Kenma: I barely take care of myself, Kuro would do all the work

Kenma: Kuro buys me video games 😚

Kuroo: Anything for you, bbg

Sugawara: Daichi also buys me flowers! Or like, once he bought us matching shirts. And tea😌

Sugawara: and I pay him back in kisses

Sugawara: and other things 

Kuroo: other things like ass?

Daichi: Suga that was unnecessary

Sugawara: 😋

Kuroo: “ other things” is definitely ass

Sugawara: 😋

Daichi: why

Sugawara: because I love you 

Sugawara: and I express that by paying you back in ass

Daichi: there are things that we don’t say because it will embarrass me

Sugawara: it’s cute when you’re embarrassed 😋

Sugawara: makes me feel powerful too😋

Kuroo: it’s not even that bad Daichi! Remember when I told two group chats that I ate Kenma’s ass

Kenma: That doesn’t mean everyone would want the groupchat to know when they eat ass

Kuroo: ass 😍😍 kenma come over

Kenma: you’re ugly

Kenma: I’m omw 

Sugawara: 😋

-

Daichi: attached image

Daichi: he fell asleep

Daichi: reading 

Daichi : he’s just out here being cute

Daichi: how can someone be so cute

Oikawa: I’ve seen cuter

Oikawa: myself ☆〜(ゝ。∂)

Oikawa: right Iwa-Chan?

Oikawa: YOURE SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO ME PLEASE REPLY

Iwaizumi: let daichi have his moment 

Oikawa: wow okay

Iwaizumi: you’re cute dumbass

Oikawa: 🥰

Daichi: like look at him?? Who let him be this cute??? I’ve never seen someone as cute as suga and I want to die I love him so much

Nishinoya: SUGA!!! SO CUTE

Tanaka: Daichi just gets to see that everyday of his life and it’s unfair

Asahi: aww you guys are cute

Yamaguchi: I think Suga is the cutest on our team

Daichi: can’t argue there

Tsukishima: idk, yamaguchi is pretty cute

Yamaguchi: TSUKKI

Tsukishima left the group

Yamaguchi added Tsukishima to the group

Yamaguchi: 💘💘💘💘💘

Asahi: I miss daichi and suga

Daichi: you saw us yesterday

Asahi: I miss Daichi and suga

Asahi: I think I know how you feel noya

Nishinoya: SEE

Chapter Text

😊

Friday PM

Iwaizumi: Oikawa isn’t fucking replying

Kuroo: Oh?

Iwaizumi: Has he texted anyone today?

Kenma: Not me

Hinata: Not me either

Iwaizumi: I just get worried about him sometimes

Kageyama: Is Oikawa okay?

Iwaizumi: Yeah, he should be

Iwaizumi: I’ll go to his place real quick

Iwaizumi: Talk to you later

 

Iwaizumi and Oikawa:

Iwaizumi: Dumbass, are you gonna answer?

Iwaizumi: I don’t care

Iwaizumi: I’m almost at your place

Oikawa: okay

Oikawa: ❤️

Iwaizumi: Fucking finally

 

Wednesday AM

Oikawa changed the group name to heart eyes

Hinata: You're back!

Oikawa: 😊 I was in a bit of a funk

Oikawa: But Iwa-chan helped me out!

Sugawara: Are you alright?

Oikawa: It happens from time to time teehee

Oikawa: But my Iwa-chan nurses me back to health every time

Oikawa: He fixes it with love

Iwaizumi: More like cleans your room, gives you baths and feeds you

Oikawa: all of which you do because you love me so much

Iwaizumi: Yeah

Oikawa: He does love me omgomg

Iwaizumi: Idiot were you questioning it

Kageyama: I’m glad you’re okay Oikawa

Oikawa: I want to say something mean

Oikawa: But thank you Tobio

Kageyama: :-)

Oikawa: Just use emojis

Asahi: I like his smiley

-

Hinata: My sister has been on facetime with kageyama for an hour

Hinata: AN HOUR

Hinata: Like excuse me

Yamaguchi: How did that even start

Hinata: Well my phone was dead

Hinata: So while it was charging I called him on my laptop

Kenma: ew

Hinata: I know

Hinata: But anyways, Natsu came in my room and got distracted and said hi to Kageyama

Hinata: And then it went downhill from there and now she isn’t even IN MY ROOM ANYMORE SHE TOOK MY LAPTOP TO HER ROOM TO TALK TO MY BOYFRIEND

Tsukishima: lmao

Hinata: I think she has a crush on him too cause she gets all blushy when he comes over

Hinata: And she always wants to be in my room and she sits next to him and whenever we’re out she holds his hand before I can

Hinata: And he just lets her!!

Tsukishima: Soooo, you’re jealous of your sister?

Oikawa: AHAH OMGOMG SHOUYOU YOU ARE

Kenma: idiot

Nishinoya: Just like, imagine Shouyou and his sister competing for Kageyama’s attention

Kenma: a concept

Oikawa: OMG

Oikawa: And Tobio can’t say no to her because she’s little and cute and Hinata is just like sulking because he wants attention

Hinata: I shouldn’t have came here with my problems

Sugawara: It’s cute lol

Nishinoya: wOAH I JSUT THOUGHT OF SOMETHING SO WEIRD

Nishinoya: Have you and Kageyama kissed?

Hinata: not yet

Nishinoya: OMG ONE DAY THEY’RE GONNA KISS

Nishinoya: OMG CRAZY

Daichi: Noya, they’re dating

Nishinoya: YEAH BUT ITS KAGEYAMA AND HINATA

Daichi: Yeah but they’re dating

Nishinoya: How are you even gonna reach his lips

Tanaka: Your boyfriend is a giant what are you saying

Hinata: NOYA YOU ARE SHORTER THAN ME

Nishinoya: WHY DO YOU HAVE TO MAKE THIS ABOUT HEIGHT

Kuroo: These people exist

Kuroo: Like this is a real conversation

Kuroo: What is happening

Kuroo: Okay but wait

Kuroo: I’m curious, you haven’t kissed at all?

Hinata: I mean like, the cheek and like forehead and stuff

Sugawara: That is so cute omg Daichi come kiss my forehead

Daichi: omw

Kuroo: aw aw aw aw aw Kenma bring that forehead over here cutie

Kenma: I’m lazu, can’t you kiss it in the morning?

Kuroo: I mean I guess I’ll cry myself to sleep then

Kuroo: Since that’s what you want

Kenma: Chill

Oikawa: When are you guys gonna kiss?

Hinata: What? Should I know?

Oikawa: I mean, don’t you want to kiss him

Hinata: I don’t think I want to talk about this in a groupchat

Oikawa: We already started, it’s far too late

Hinata: He’s my boyfriend, isn’t it obvious I want to kiss him

Oikawa: THEN KISS HIM

Hinata: Stop

Oikawa: KISS HIM KISS HIM

Kenma: KISS HIM

Nishinoya: KISS HIM KISS HIM KISS HIM

Hinata: I WANT HIM TO KISS ME

Hinata: I’m too embarrassed

Hinata: And what if i do it wrong

Kenma: Its jsut a kiss. Ur not like making out with him

Kenma: Yet

Nishinoya: Omg one day they’re gonna make out

Nishinoya: omgomgomg 

Daichi: THEYRE DATING NOYA, THATS NORMAL

Hinata: But like, it’s my first kiss

Hinata: I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS

Tsukishima: Wow, Kageyama gets a special first kiss

Oikawa: YOU’VE NEVER BEEN KISSED BEFORE LOSER HAHA

Oikawa: Iwa-chan was my first kiss

Kenma: That’s because you refuse to kiss anyone but him

Oikawa: I bet yours was Kuroo

Kenma: Yeah because that makes sense. We’ve known each other for years and we’re dating

Kenma: We’ve practically been dating since we were younger but we just didn’t know

Kenma: Imagine kissing someone other than kuro 🤢

Kuroo: Omg is it Kageyama’s first kiss

Kageyama: Why is this the convo i come back to

Kageyama left the group

Kuroo added Kageyama to the group

Kageyama left the group

Sugawara added Kageyama to the group

Kageyama: Sugawara

Oikawa: Is Hinata gonna be your first kiss?

Kageyama: Why do we always talk about these things in the groupchat

Kageyama: No, he’s not

Hinata: WHAT

Kageyama: I didn’t know it was important

Kageyama: I’m sorry

Oikawa: wow tea who was your first kiss?

Kageyama: Literally why is this so important, it’s just a kiss

Oikawa: Who was it

Nishinoya: Who was it

Tanaka: Who was it

Kageyama: FINE OMG IWAIZUMI

Oikawa: I must’ve read that wrong ha

Tsukishima: There’s your answer since you wanted to know so bad

Oikawa: THATS NOT TEA THATS FUCKED

Oikawa: I’m calling Iwaizumi

Oikawa: This cannot be real

Hinata: YOu GAVE YOUR FIRST KISS TO SOMEONE ELSE

Kageyama: It was an accident. And I didn’t even know you existed yet, it was so long ago

Hinata: soooo like, you just dont

Hinata: Care

Hinata: about

Hinata: me?

Kageyama: I never said that

Iwaizumi: omg why is this happening

Oikawa: You have some explaining to do

Iwaizumi: What more do you need to hear? He said it all, it was an accident, it happened forever ago and its JUST A KISS

Oikawa: How long ago?

Iwaizumi: Middle school

Oikawa: I WAS PINING FOR YOU AND YOU WERE OUT KISSING TOBIO 

Oikawa: I CANT BELIEVE YOU

Hinata: HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY KISS SOMEONE

Sugawara: Why are you two being so dramatic?

Iwaizumi: We just turned our heads at the wrong time

Iwaizumi: It’s not like we’re in love or anything

Oikawa: YOU MIGHT AS WELL BE

Kuroo: Kenma hasn’t stopped laughing omg

Kuroo: It was an accidental kiss lmao

Sugawara: Yeah guys, no need to make it a big deal

Kageyama: Thank you

Hinata: Put yourself in my shoes

Sugawara: You’re 🥰 dramatic 😋

Hinata: NO

Hinata: Kenma you see the problem RIGHT?!?!?!

Kenma: Shut up 😘

Hinata: YAMAGUCHI PLEASE

Yamaguchi: umm

Yamaguchi: Nishinoya was my first kiss so…

Asahi: oh yeah lmao forgot about that

Hinata: how did that even happen???

Nishinoya: yamaguchi said he hasn’t kissed anyone

Nishinoya: and I’ve kissed tons of people so like, why not!

Hinata: Tsukishima, how does that make you feel???

Tsukishima: I don’t care because it was just a small kiss and it was before we were dating

Hinata: no one understands me

Hinata: no one but Oikawa

Kenma: because you’re both idiots

Oikawa: Iwa-chan cheated on me with TOBIO

Oikawa: I guess you like him more than me

Iwaizumi: don’t say I cheated on you. That isn’t what happened

Iwaizumi: you two are idiots omg

Kenma: are you surprised? 

Chapter Text

Yamaguchi changed the group name to head empty, just tsukki

Yamaguchi: Tsukki has not stopped laughing at goats in trees 🥺

Tsukishima: goats in trees goats in trees

Yamaguchi: He is the reason I breathe omg 

Tanaka:  woah

Tanaka: wait goats can get in trees, what?

Tsukishima: of course they can what

Yamaguchi: They also can like

Yamaguchi: get on top of mountains?

Tanaka: HAHAHA WHY HAVE I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT TJAT OMG

Yamaguchi: look up goats in trees it’s funny

Kenma: So that’s What Tsukishima finds funny

Yamaguchi: it’s cute

Kageyama: once, we were out and he stepped on my shoelace and it untied. So while I was going to tie it off to the side, he accidentally stepped on it again and I tripped.

Kageyama: he started laughing like 20 minutes after

Yamaguchi: 🥺🥺🥰🥰🥰

Hinata: when was that?

Kageyama: like last week? I think

Daichi: you guys hang out?

Daichi: like alone?

Sugawara: omg omg omgomg 

Tsukishima: ew no, I’d never hang out with that idiot ew

Kageyama: ew why would I spend my free time with him ew

Kageyama: we just bumped into each other and happened to be walking the same way

Sugawara: hm, I guess it would be a little weird if you guys were hanging out

Hinata: RIGHT

Tsukishima: stop screaming

Hinata: SHUT UP

 

Tsukishima and Kageyama:

Tsukishima: you were almost more of an idiot

Tsukishima: nice cover though

Kageyama: I’m ready for every situation

 

head empty, just Tsukki

Yamaguchi: you guys hung out yesterday

Yamaguchi : what are you talking about?

Kuroo: so are you friends or??

Nishinoya: OMG ARE YOU FRIENDS

Oikawa: Tobio has so many friends wtf

Kageyama: yes

Tsukishima: Tobio what

Tsukishima: you just told me that you’re “ready for every situation”

Kageyama: well I never prepared for your boyfriend ratting us out

Hinata: WAIT YOU GUYS ARE FRIENDS WHAT

Hinata: WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN

Sugawara: Aw that’s nice

Kageyama: like? The last year of high school?

Tsukishima: lol

Hinata: WHY DIDNT I KNOW

Kageyama: why is everyone so dramatic when they find out that I have a life

Hinata: so you think I’m annoying

Kageyama: when did I say that

Hinata: It was implied

Kageyama: It wasn’t

Hinata: so you want to break up?

Kageyama: no what

Kageyama: shut up

Hinata: 💔💔💔

Oikawa: you guys just do this

Oikawa: all the time?

Sugawara: yup!

Tsukishima: this is unnecessary

 

-

Nishinoya: just bought Minecraft for the switch😎

Kenma: epic

Kuroo: me and kenma play that together a lot

Kuroo: she’s therapeutic

Asahi: I thought you were gonna get it for Mac

Nishinoya: why?

Asahi: because I have a Mac

Asahi: we could have played together

Nishinoya: WHAT NO OMG I COMPLETELY FORGOT

Kenma: you play on Mac?

Kuroo: loser

Kenma: I hated playing on Mac

Asahi: I bought a mouse for it😊

Asahi: that and I don’t want to own like a dell or something

Asahi: I like the way macs look better idk

Nishinoya: guess you’ll have to come over so we can play together oops

Asahi: guess so oops

Daichi: I don’t mean to interrupt

Daichi: but suga is having a bad day

Daichi: so send him funny tik toks and cute emojis and just things he’d like

Kageyama: oh, I just sent him a tik tok

Daichi: thanks 😁

Oikawa: is suga okay?

Daichi: yeah he’s just feeling down today. I’m with him right now. I’m fixing it with forehead kisses and spicy food

Daichi: he has not left my side since this afternoon lol

Kenma: okay :( let us know when he’s better

Daichi: probably tomorrow! He’ll probably say something though

Daichi: we’re gonna take a nap so talk to you guys tomorrow!

 

-

Sugawara: I AM BACK

Nishinoya: SUGA WE MISSED YOUUUU

Tanaka: WE REALLY DID

Sugawara: I missed you guys too!

Sugawara: Daichi, the most handsome and sweet and hot wow what a sex god he’s such a gentleman and always knows how to make me smile, Sawamura helped me a lot 😚

Kuroo: 😚

Sugawara: That kiss was DAICHIS, KUROO 

Daichi: lol 😚

Sugawara: I want a real kiss 🥺

Daichi: I’m making your coffee lol give me three seconds

Kenma: Kuro thay could be us

Kuroo: OMWOMWOMWOMW

Oikawa: iwa-Chan 🥺🥺

Iwaizumi: just come back in the room loser ❤️

Chapter Text

head empty, just tsukki

Hinata removed Kageyama from the chat

Kenma: Why though?

Hinata: Don’t add him back yet!

Asahi: ??

Hinata: Me and Natsu made him a cake!

Hinata: Attached image

Hinata: Do you think he’ll like it?

Sugawara: Aww he’ll love it!

Hinata: YAY

Kenma: Cute but…It looks like the center is sinking?

Hinata: Natsu thought she could shape it but it didn’t work out

Oikawa: Please tell me Natsu iced it

Oikawa: It’s so lumpy

Hinata: haha… 

Oikawa: STFU HA

Oikawa: HOW DID YOU MAKE IT SO BAD

Iwaizumi: Shut up Oikawa

Iwaizumi: I think he’ll love it

Hinata: 😊 I’m gonna invite him over in a little

Kenma: Kuro Kuro

Kuroo: Yes yes

Kenma: I want cake please

Kuroo: Okay! I’ll be over soon

Oikawa: I’ve been craving carrot cake 

Sugawara: okay grandma

Oikawa: T^T Carrot is good

Kenma: Yeah, if you’re 60

Iwaizumi: I always buy a slice of carrot cake for him and hummingbird for me

Daichi: I thought me and Suga were the old married couple

Sugawara: Coffee cake 😍

Daichi: Korean sponge cake 😍

Daichi: omg suga’s coffee cake stop

Daichi: I will kiss you 10 times if you make some

Sugawara: Wanna go to the grocery store with me?

Daichi: I’ll head over to your place

Iwaizumi: Those two always make me feel lonely

Iwaizumi: Are you busy Oikawa?

Oikawa: Nope! I’m on my way 😚

Kenma: Kuroooooo

Kenma: My cake 🥺

Kuroo: I’ll be over soon lol

 

-

Hinata added Kageyama to the group

Hinata: Update

Hinata: He loves the cake!

Hinata: Attached image

Tanaka: That is so cute

Yamaguchi: Kageyama is just out here

Yamaguchi: Existing

Yamaguchi: Looking so in love

Tanaka: Looking so in love with frosting on his cheek like what

Tanaka: so cute

Hinata: It’s because Natsu’s feeding him lol

Kenma: Update: Kuro made me cake

Kenma: Attached image

Nishinoya: Is that 😷 red velvet?! 🤢🤢

Kuroo: Made with extra love bitch

Kenma: Red velvet is superior

Nishinoya: NO WAY!

Nishinoya: Layered chocolate cake with chocolate frosting 🥵

Kenma: Red velvet is just chocolate cake but it’s red

Nishinoya: Don’t lie to me

Kenma: I’m not

Nishinoya: RED VELVET IS GARBAGE AND CHOCOLATE IS THE BEST

Kenma: You’re a psychopath and cream cheese frosting is good

Oikawa: Asahi that’s your boyfriend

Oikawa: Don’t tell me you eat chocolate cake with him

Asahi: I am numb

Sugawara: Um

Tanaka: Are you okay?

Asahi: Numb

Nishinoya: Asahi likes pies and tarts more than indulgent chocolate goodness

Sugawara: oooh, well, next time I make a pie I’ll give you some!

Asahi: Less numb

Oikawa: Suga bakes a lot?

Daichi: Yes and it’s the best!

Sugawara: I’m just, the ideal wife 🥰

Tanaka: Hear me out

Tanaka: I marry Suga

Daichi: Hear me out

Daichi: No

Sugawara: 😋

Hinata: Update

Hinata: Kageyama kissed me

Hinata: AND HE WON’T STOP

Hinata: HE’S JUST KEEPS KISSING ME AND LAUGHING

Hinata: AND I’M SO EMBARRASSED 

Nishinoya: Tell him to stop?

Hinata: I DON’T WANT HIM TO

Hinata: WHY WOULD YOU SUGGEST THAT

Hinata: He stopped

Hinata: Because Natsu was pouting

Hinata: So she’s feeding him his piece of cake again

 

-

Hinata: oh MY GOD ME AND KAGEYAMA KISSED

Kageyama: It’s 5am, go to sleep

Hinata: WE KISSED

Kageyama: Idiot, I know. I was there

Hinata: WHAT DO WE DO?

Kageyama: What are you talking about?

Hinata: WE KISSED IDIOT WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO NOW

Kageyama: Why are you being so dumb

Kageyama: We’re dating, there’s no sequence you’re just being a dumbass

Hinata: I NEED TO SLEEP 

Kageyama: Yeah, goodnight

Hinata: Will you kiss me again tomorrow?

Kageyama: Yes idiot. GO TO SLEEP

Kageyama: ❤️

Hinata: 💗

 

-

Kenma: Waking up to messages like those 😍

Tsukishima: Do they not know how to have personal conversations in a separate chat

Kenma: Good

Kenma: I live for this

Chapter Text

Monday PM

head empty, just tsukki

Sugawara: there are moments that the words don’t reach…

Daichi: ?

Asahi: what

Sugawara: there is suffering too terrible to name

Nishinoya: what is this

Oikawa: you hold your child as tight as you can

Oikawa: and push away the unimaginable~

Kageyama: it feels easier to just swim down

Sugawara: THE HAMILTONS MOVE UPTOWN

Kuroo: AND LEARN TO LIVE WITH THE UNIMAGINABLE

Daichi: please stop with the hamilton

Kenma: i’m going to say this just once

Kenma: STOP getting kuro started with this

Kenma: he’s going to be singing this for the next fucking week

Kuroo: alexander come back to sleep…

Kenma: stop

Kuroo: it’s still dark outside

Kenma: stop

Kuroo: why do you write like you’re running out of time?

Oikawa: WHY DO YOU WRITE LIKE YOU’RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME?

Hinata: COME BACK TO SLEEPPP

Oikawa: HINATA YOU KNOW HAMILTON?

Kenma: lol

Kenma: he called kuro a few weeks ago and learned it after kageyama said he knew it 

Hinata: shut UP KENMA

Sugawara: it was june

Oikawa: it’s september suga

Sugawara: i was 10…

Sugawara: i STILL THINK OF THAT DAY NOW AND THEN

Oikawa: OBH

Sugawara: A PARAAADEE

Sugawara: AND A GIRL…

Asahi: AND A CROWD OF THOUSANDS

Sugawara: YES asahi

Sugawara: she SAT STRAIGHT

Asahi: AS A QUEEN

Sugawara: ONLY 8 BUT SO PROUD AND SARINE 

Sugawara: scarine

Sugawara: sareen ?

Daichi: maybe not knowing how to spell the words is a sign to stop

Sugawara: you’re so mean to me :(

Nishinoya: suga what tf is your energy today

Kuroo: bottom energy

Sugawara: AHHHAHAHAH

Iwaizumi: oikawa can relate

Oikawa: hey.

Daichi: we’re not doing this again

Sugawara: on my own :(

Sugawara: pretending he’s beside me :(

Sugawara: all alone 😭

Sugawara: i walk with him till morning :( 😭

Daichi: suga i said to stop

Sugawara: MAKE ME 

 

-

Nishinoya: suga’s been real quiet since he sent that

Oikawa: u know why 😼

Kuroo: 😼😼

Sugawara: u know why 🥰

Daichi: stop

Asahi: stop

Iwaizumi: stop

Sugawara: daichi why do you hate me when all i do is love you? :(:(:(

Daichi: PLEASE 

Daichi: what do you want from me

Tanaka: suga why do you have yuu energy today

Tanaka changed the group name to Spot the the difference between Yuu and Suga i bet you can’t

Kageyama: the the 

Nishinoya: HEY

Sugawara: 😢🥺

Daichi: suga stop

Daichi: you’re my soulmate and the best thing that’s ever happened to me and i wake up every single day significantly more happy than i can ever remember being and it’s all thanks to you. I love you more than anything and i can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you

Sugawara: ahhhh yes finally

Sugawara: thank you

Sugawara: i can go to sleep peacefully now 🥰🥰

Kenma: suga sometimes i can’t believe you’re real

 

Friday AM:

Spot the the difference between Yuu and Suga i bet you can’t

Kuroo: hey guys

Kuroo: what are five things you like about me

Kuroo: and don’t say my ass 😼

Oikawa: no one was going to say your ass

Kuroo: ok i get it. You hate me

Kenma: well…

Kenma: i don’t have five but i like that when i get in your car my bluetooth connects automatically 

Kenma: 🥰

Kuroo: i can list off five things you like about me

Kuroo: or five of your favorite things that i do to u 

Kuroo: 😼

Kenma: stop using that emoji

Kenma: also you better not embarrass me or i’m breaking up with you

Oikawa: LMAOOO

Tsukishima: wow

Kuroo: that’s an empty threat and u know it

Kenma: no it isn’t

Kuroo: u came over five minutes ago because u wanted to be cuddled

Kuroo: and ur literally laying on my chest rn

Kuroo: and i kissed ur cheek and u blushed

Kuroo: empty threat

Sugawara: empty chairs at empty tables

Daichi: suga please

Oikawa: oh so kenma is in LOVE 

Hinata: wbk wbk

Kenma: leave me alone leave me alone leave me alone leave ME ALONE

Kuroo: attached image

Oikawa: AWWWWW

Hinata: AWWW

Yamaguchi: AWWWWW

Kenma: STOP EMBARRASSINGF EM

Kuroo: awww he’s blushing 🥰

Kuroo: attached image

Sugawara: AWWWWW

Daichi: omg awwww

Kenma: STOPPP

Kenma has left the chat

 

-

 

Saturday AM:

Spot the the difference between Yuu and Suga i bet you can’t

Hinata changed the group name to Kageyama is kind of annoying

Kageyama: fucking idiot

Kageyama changed the group name to why is Hinata even in this groupchat he’s so annoying

Hinata changed the group name to I’m the one who made it dumbass

Kageyama changed the group name to well I don’t think you should be in this because you’re too annoying

Daichi: ok guys that’s enough

Hinata changed the group name to it’s fine kageyama you can just leave if you can’t deal with me

Kageyama changed the group name to why are you literally being such an idiot i hate you so much

Kuroo: trouble in paradise already?

Oikawa: it’s a little early for a break-up argument don’t you think?

Kageyama: no omg i’d never break up with him

Hinata: yeah kageyama why don’t you just tell them the TRUTH

Sugawara: what is going on omg

Kageyama: YOU WANT THE TRUTH

Hinata: YEAH

Kageyama: THE TRUTH IS THAT YOU’RE AN IDIOT

Kenma: it is saturday morning

Kenma: i was sleeping

Kenma: what’s happening

Kenma: kuro i’m so tired

Kuroo: my heart is so full my heart is so full you’re so cute you’re so cute

Kenma: i’d be cuter if you were cuddling me

Kuroo: SORRY BBG I WAS IN THE KITCHEN I’LL BE RIGHT THERE

Oikawa: why did the two idiots go quiet

Tsukishima: because hinata is an idiot

Yamaguchi: yeah

Hinata: OH SO YOU GUYS ARE ON KAGEYAMA’S SIDE

Oikawa: GOD WHAT IS THIS ABOUT

Kageyama: hinata IS JUST BEING ANNOYING TODAY

Kageyama: I WOKE UP TO 20 TEXT MESSAGES FROM HIM

Kageyama: TALKING ABOUT HOW HE ATE A SANDWICH AND ALL HE COULD SMELL WAS BREAD

Kageyama: ‘it’s so distracting it’s distracting me so much’

Kageyama: ‘the smell of bread is everywhere’

Kageyama: ‘and it kind of smells bad but i guess i can’t taste the smell’

Kageyama: ‘hey kageyama if you smell something and it’s strong enough can you taste it’

Kageyama: ‘that’s how i feel with this bread except i can’t taste it’

Kageyama: ‘like this sandwich is good but i just wish i couldn’t smell the bread’

Kageyama: ‘but i guess if it’s right next to my nose then it just makes sense doesn’t it’

Kageyama: ‘hey kageyama you remind me of this sandwich’

Kageyama: ‘not like you smell bad and taste good but more like you’re put off of it at first but then it’s actually pretty nice’

Iwaizumi: ok ok we don’t need the 20 messages

Kageyama: YOU GUYS DON’T UNDERSTAND

Oikawa: I THINK WE DO

Kenma: I’ve been friends with shouyou since we were kids i think i do understand 

Kenma: sometimes he’s just extra chaotic

Kuroo: so are you

Iwaizumi: so is oikawa

Kuroo: oh god their entire little friend group has chaotic energy 

Kenma: i’m not sure what that’s supposed to mean because i’m never chaotic but ok

Hinata: lol guys

Hinata: please 

Kageyama: please what

Hinata: please

Kageyama: i hate you so much

Sugawara: wow this is so cute

Daichi: no. it’s just annoying

Sugawara: well i think it’s cute

Tsukishima: ur the only one

Sugawara: WOW

 

-

Saturday PM:

Why are you literally being such an idiot i hate you so much

Kenma: i’m not real today

Oikawa: what does that mean

Kuroo: it means he’s not real today

Sugawara: it means he isn’t real today

Oikawa: ??? can i have context

Kenma: no

Kenma: because i’m not real

Oikawa: ????

 

Saturday PM:

Why are you literally being such an idiot i hate you so much

Kenma: do you guys ever like l;ki0p[9 08bvguoi

Kenma: concentrate so hard on something and you don’t realize you’re holding your breath and then you start getting lightheaded and then you start freaking out because you feel like you’re gonna pass out and then you just remember that you need to breathe?

Oikawa: why did you start it with ‘do you guys ever’ when you know that you just have very specific issues

Hinata: it’s ok kenma i do that too

Kuroo: that doesn’t count

Kuroo: you guys share one brain cell

Kenma: what is that supposed to mean

Oikawa: LMAOO

Tanaka changed the group name to hinata and kenma are two halves of a whole idiot

Kuroo: i don’t think u can talk

Kuroo: you and nishinoya are the same

Kenma: oh so now he’s defending me

Nishinoya: when only ur allowed to be mean to ur man 😻😻 i get it i get it

Asahi: when have you ever been mean to me

Tsukishima: and now he’s quiet

Tsukishima: wow

 

-

Sunday AM:

hinata and kenma are two halves of a whole idiot

Hinata: guys guys guys

Hinata: i made a new friend today!

Hinata added Lev Haiba to the chat

Lev: hi gus!!!!

Lev: *guys!!!!!

Kenma: NOOOO

Lev: KENMA!!!

Kuroo: LEVVVV!!

Lev: KUROO!!!!

Kenma removed Lev from the chat

Kuroo: kenma why :(((

Hinata: kenma why :((

 

Sunday PM

Hinata and kenma are two halves of a whole idiot

Sugawara: throat fucking 😍

Oikawa: WHAT

Nishinoya: AHHHH WHAT

Kuroo: 😍 throat fucking 🥵

Kenma: no

Kenma: don’t participate in this i’ll kill you

Yamaguchi: throat fucking 😫

Tsukishima: we’re breaking up

Oikawa: um

Oikawa: let’s not talk about this?

Iwaizumi: why?

Iwaizumi: you always seem so passionate about this when we’re alone.

Nishinoya: AHHHH OH MY GODF

Oikawa has left the chat

Kageyama: i didn’t need to know this about you guys

Kageyama added Oikawa to the chat

Kageyama: you can’t leave

Kageyama: not now

Sugawara: when he pulls your hair 😍🥰

Daichi: suga

Daichi: kageyama and hinata are in this chat

Sugawara: and??? 

Kuroo: when he scratches your back just so much 🤪😩

Oikawa: stop i’m embarrassed for you guys

Oikawa: why are you so open about this

Hinata: i’m surprised you aren’t tooru

Oikawa: WELL

Oikawa: IT’S EMBARRASSING

Iwaizumi: no it isn’t, you’re just stupid

Oikawa: iwa-chan 😭

Kenma: i want to expose shouyou

Kuroo: you can’t expose him when you haven’t participated

Kenma: when he eats ur ass 🥰

Kenma: when he pulls ur hair 😍

Kuroo: omg

Sugawara: AHAHAHA

Oikawa: KENMA STOP I DON’T NEED THESE MENTAL IMAGES

Kenma: anyway i want to expose shouyou

Kuroo: do it

Sugawara: do it

Hinata: what

Hinata: stop

Kenma: when he has a praise kink 😈💅🏼✌🏼

Sugawara: omg omg ahahah omg

Tanaka: HAHAHA HINATA

Nishinoya: awwww asahi u and shouyou are twins 

Asahi: stop

Asahi: i’m so embarrassed yuu shut up

Hinata: why would you tell them that kenma

Hinata: why

Tanaka: omg shouyou

Tanaka: nice job at practice today 🥰🥰

Sugawara: hinata you did so good 🥵

Daichi: GUYS lol don’t bully him 

Sugawara: you say that but you haven’t stopped laughing for like ten minutes

Kuroo: NEITHER HAS KENMA LOL

Nishinoya: i’m abt to tease asahi about this so brb i’m gonna go get some 6’14 dick 😈

Sugawara: that isn’t a height

Daichi: that’s what u have a problem w?

Daichi: is the height

Sugawara: yeah

Tanaka: kageyama has been real silent

Kuroo: KAGEYAMA

Kageyama has left the chat

Oikawa: excuse me

Oikawa: if I have to be embarrassed so do you tobio

Oikawa has added Kageyama to the chat

Sugawara: kageyama let's talk about you for a second

Kageyama: i’d rather not

Kuroo: i bet my man likes to be choked

Kuroo: kageyama i’ll choke you 😍

Kenma: kuro stop bullying him

Kuroo: KENMA YOU STARTED THIS

Kenma: actually sugawara started this

Sugawara: what can i say? I love chaos 😍✨

Oikawa: i hate you

Iwaizumi: why do you guys love to embarrass tobio and hinata

Kenma: personally it’s a hobby of mine

Sugawara: it’s my job

Kenma: and i think it’s unfair that kuroo gets to embarrass me but no one ever embarrasses shouyou

Oikawa: shouyou embarrasses himself 

Kenma: true

Hinata: HEY

Kageyama: he’s right

Sugawara: oh good kageyama you’re back

Sugawara: are you ready to share with the group?🙂

Kageyama has left the chat

Hinata has left the chat

Oikawa: can we stop now

Oikawa: let’s go back to talking about hamilton

Sugawara: i SAVED EVERY LETTER YOU WROTE ME, FROM THE MOMENT I READ THEM I KNEW YOU WERE MINE

Daichi has left the chat

Sugawara: you said you were mine, i thought u were mine :(((

Kenma: suga your attention span lately is inspiring 

Kuroo: DO YOU KNOW WHAT ANGELICA SAID WHEN SHE SAW YOUR FIRST LETTER ARRIVE?

Kenma has removed Sugawara and Kuroo from the chat

Tsukishima: finally some peace and quiet

Chapter Text

Saturday AM

Oikawa changed the group name to operation 39238

Hinata: YES

Daichi: what

Daichi: what does that mean?

Sugawara: why are you asking if you know they won’t tell you?

Kageyama: better not to interact

Iwaizumi: exactly

Iwaizumi: they’re in their own weird ass world

Oikawa: mean iwa-chan~~

Iwaizumi: stop

Oikawa: shouyou i have something to ask you

Hinata: yes tooru?

Daichi: what are you two doing? 

Daichi: whatever it is, stop.

Oikawa: shouyou, are you busy next weekend?

Hinata: why, no, tooru, i’m not!

Oikawa: excellent~

Hinata: excellent INDEED TOORU

Kuroo: why are you two here

Kuroo: making plans like that in front of us

Asahi: hey that’s my line

Kuroo: well u snooze u lose i guess

Kuroo: kenma where are you i miss you so much

Kuroo: kenmaaaaa

Kuroo: KENMA KENMA KENMAAAA

Kuroo: babyyyyy

Kuroo: KENMA BABBYYYYYYYY

Tsukishima: spamming the fucking groupchat isn’tg going to make hgim answer

Kuroo: it might

Kuroo: and don’t come at me if u can’t even type

Kuroo: ur typos are making me miss kenma even more :( 

Kuroo: kenma baby i’m crying i’m shaking i miss you so much

Tanaka: lol yuu he’s worse than you

Nishinoya: oh god

Asahi: i didn’t think anyone was worse than u 

Asahi: and i mean that in the best way <3

Nishinoya: AWWWW ASAHI I’M COMING OVER RN

Asahi: i can’t wait!!!❤️

Kuroo: why did you just make plans like that RIGHT iN FRONt oF ME

Kuroo: mny SOUlKMATE isn’t HERE HE;S ABANDONED ME

Kuroo: AND YOU’RE FLAUNTING???

Kuroo: SHOWING OFF????

Tsukishima: Oh, kuroo, sorry for the typos. Yamaguchi is asleep on my chest and it’s kind of awkward to type.

Tsukishima: attached image

Sugawara: YESSS TSUKISHIMA SHOW OFF YOUR MAN

Kuroo: WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME

Kuroo: KENMA PLEASE

Kuroo: KENMA

Iwaizumi: attached image

Iwaizumi: teehee

Kuroo: YOU TOO?

Kuroo: NOO STOP 

Kageyama: attached image

Kuroo: KAGEYAMA I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY MAN…

Kuroo: WHY DID YOU GO AGAINST ME LIKE THIS?

Kageyama: lol

Kuroo: just want to hold him i’m screaming i’m shaking i’m sobbing

Iwaizumi: don’t you literally live right next to him?

Iwaizumi: why don’t you go to his house..

Kuroo: iwaizumi 

Kuroo: iwaizumi iwaizumi 🙏🏻

Kuroo: ur a genuis.

Sugawara: i don’t think it takes a genius to think of such a simple solution, but okay.

Daichi: HAHA SUGA

 

-

Oikawa: do we get an update on kenma?

Oikawa: kuroo is silent

Oikawa: i think i’m worried

Sugawara: now that you mention it

Sugawara: kuroo did you die?

Sugawara: i kind of hope not. That’d be traumatic

Kageyama: kind of?

Nishinoya: maybe he’s bow-chicka-wow-wow

Nishinoya: i know i was 🤤

Tsukishima: thanks for sharing i guess

Sugawara: HAHAHA

Daichi: it’s beene 20 minutes can you guys calm down

Hinata: beene

Daichi: thanks

 

-

Sugawara: okay kuroo it’s been like an hour

Sugawara: i KNOW neither of you can last that long

Daichi: suga!

Sugawara: WHAT?

Sugawara: i want an update! 

Sugawara: kuroo died!

 

-

Kuroo: wtf

Oikawa: KUROO!

Oikawa: where’s kenma

Kuroo: sleeping

Oikawa: ??????

Kuroo: this idiot

Kuroo: WENT OUTSIDE

Kuroo: ‘u told me to go outside more, kuro’

Kuroo: WELL kenma i didn’t MEAN TO GO OUTSIDE and SIT OUT THERE GAMING

Kuroo: AND THEN FALL ASLEEP

Kuroo: IN THE SUN

Sugawara: oh no

Kuroo: I WOKE HIM UP AND MADE HIM DRINK WATER AND HE THREW IT UP EVERYWHERE

Daichi: oh god

Oikawa: oh my god is he okay???

Kuroo: he’s alright, i gave him a cold bath and gave him more water and put him to bed 😌

Kuroo: my job is to take CARE OF MY MAN

Kuroo: bc he can’t do it himself apparently

Kuroo: BUT THAT’S OK BECAUSE I’M HERE

Kuroo: yes i do the cooking yes i do the cleaning

Oikawa: i hate you

Oikawa: stop

Kuroo: oikawa… why r u talking to me like this… 😦

Hinata: use the one with the eyebrows 

Kuroo: oikawa… why r u talking to me like this… 😧

Hinata: thanks

Kageyama: idiot

Sugawara: Is he sunburnt really bad?

Kuroo: yeah

Sugawara: was he NOT wearing sunscreen?

Kuroo: kenma doesn’t go outside

Kuroo: i don’t think he even thought about sunscreen

Sugawara: wake him up and put him on the phone with me RIGHT NOW I SWEAR!!!

Kuroo: daichi come get ur man 😳 🤚🏻

Nishinoya: mommy suga 🥰😍

Kuroo: anyway

Kuroo: i’m gonna go hold my poor bby kenma 😭🥰

Oikawa: can’t u say cuddle like a normal person

Kuroo: no 😼✨

Oikawa: god just leave already

Kuroo: WOW

Sugawara: LMAO

-

  operation 39238

Kenma: lol when he becomes ur housewife

Oikawa: KENMA I MISSED YOU!

Hinata: KENMA!

Kenma: shouyou!

Hinata: KENMA!

Kenma: shouyou!

Oikawa: i’m right here

Kenma: shouyou!

Sugawara: HAHAHA

Sugawara: kenma. I’m mad at you.

Kenma: yeah, i know, kuro told me

Kenma: sorry i fell asleep outside i guess the heat made me tired

Sugawara: THAT’S WHAT YOU’RE APOLOGIZING FOR?

Kenma: yeah

Kuroo: that’s the best ur gonna get i’ve already tried 

Kuroo: stubborn ass

Kenma: thought u liked my stubborn ass?

Oikawa: i

Oikawa: i think the heat is still affecting him

Oikawa: kenma doesn’t talk like this

Kuroo: yes he does just not in the groupchat

Hinata: u’ve never heard kenma talk like that?

Oikawa: no??

Hinata: lol

Kuroo: lol

Oikawa: STOP I HATE THIS

Kenma: is baby tooru sad? Is he not being included?🥺💔

Oikawa: KENMA???

Nishinoya: LMAO KUROO COME GET YOUR MAN

Kuroo: HE WON’T STOP

Kuroo: HE’S BEEN DOING IT TO ME ALL MORNING

Kuroo: except i tried to leave the room to sulk and he attached onto me like a freak

Kenma: my only personality trait is being a leech 😍

Kenma: stuck on u 😍❤️🥵

Nishinoya: lol kenma that emoji was u yesterday 🥵

Nishinoya: when u fall asleep outside bc ur gaming and the heat makes u tired 🥵

Kenma has removed Nishinoya from the chat

Sugawara: remember when kenma was like i’m not real today

Sugawara: i think this is what he meant

Kuroo: this is exactly what he meant when he said that

Kenma: kuro come back i miss ur kisses 🥺😢

Kuroo: I LITERALLY LEFT TO GET A GLASS OF WATER

Kuroo: but lol omw!!!😳

Oikawa: kuroo treated him like a whole ass prince for one night and now he’s like this

Kuroo: i treat my man like a prince everyday wym 🥰🤚🏻

Asahi: i think i hate this groupchat

Kenma: you think?

Kenma: lol

Hinata: kenma stop 😭

Kenma: make me kuro

Sugawara: he’s not

Sugawara: wait

Sugawara: i see what ur doing

Kuroo: yes sir 😼💅🏼

Oikawa: ah, yes, two emojis that shouldn’t ever be used together

 

-

Friday PM

operation 39238

Oikawa: shouyou!

Oikawa: it’s friday!

Hinata: YES YES YES

Kuroo: what does that mean

Sugawara: idk i’ve been trying to get it out of them all week

Kageyama: lol…

Kuroo: YOU KNOW?

Iwaizumi: i know, too.

Kuroo: WHAT?

Kuroo: WHY DON’T I KNOW?

Daichi: my guess is that… shocking, i know, but u aren’t dating one of them

Kuroo: kageyama WE’RE practically dating! You can tell me right!

Kenma: kuro.

Hinata: kageyama don’t answer

Kageyama: lol

Kageyama: hey hinata 

Kageyama: please

Daichi: what

Sugawara: what does that mean

Hinata: ok!

Sugawara: what

Hinata: it means he wants a kiss 

Tsukishima: he can’t just ask?

Kageyama: shut up kei

Sugawara: he can’t just ask?

Daichi: suga u don’t even ask if you want a kiss

Daichi: you just pout and stare at me

Sugawara: we’re talking about kageyama, not me.

Kageyama: lol

Hinata: kageyama come outside

Daichi: wtf

Daichi: did you run to his house just to kiss him?

Hinata: no….

Hinata: he’s part of operation 39238..

Tsukishima: there’s no way that’s a real thing

Tsukishima: i think oikawa just keyboard smashed that number.

Oikawa: so what if i did?

Iwaizumi: why are you on your phone?

Iwaizumi: you’re driving

Oikawa: We’re stopped, Hajime.

Nishinoya: woah… pullin out names are we?😳🤚🏻

Iwaizumi: still.

Hinata: can we go? Everyone’s in the car

Daichi: what is going ON

Sugawara: LITERALLY

Kuroo: io’m crying please jus tell me 

Kageyama: lol

 

-

 

Kuroo changed the group name to EXCUSE ME?

Sugawara: …. You’re excused?

Kenma: you’re excused, kuro.

Kuroo: you couldn’t even take me with you?😭

Hinata: there was no room in the car!

Hinata: and where would you even stay?

Kuroo: WITH KENMA…

Kenma: kuro, it’s one weekend

Asahi: what’s going on

Asahi: please explain

Kuroo: I WAS 

Kuroo: SPENDING MY FRIDAY AS I NORMALLY DO

Kuroo: CUDDLING KENMA

Kuroo: PLAYING WITH HIS CUTE HAIR

Kuroo: SQUEEZIN HIS CUTE ASS

Kuroo: AND HINATA TEXTS HIM AND GOES 

Kuroo: ‘ COME OUTSIDE’

Kuroo: AND THIS ORANGE MF STOLE MY BOYFRIEND FOR THE WEEKEND!

Kuroo: ORANGE BITCH AND PRETTY BOY BITCH STOLE MY BOYFRIEND

Oikawa: love that i’m pretty boy bitch ✨

Iwaizumi: Tooru, you’re driving.

Oikawa: Hajime.

Oikawa: We are literally parked at the moment.

Kageyama: you two stop it

Kuroo: DO YOU HAVE NO SHAME?

Kuroo: WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITHOUT HIM?

Kenma: stop being clingy

Kenma: it’s for two nights.

Kuroo: TWO NIGHTS I WON’T GET TO SPEND WITH YOU.

Oikawa: it’s fine kuroo we can keep him longer~

Kuroo: 😭

Nishinoya: it’s ok kuroo u can just u know

Kuroo: what

Nishinoya: ooooooo what a time to b aliveee livin in the picture blingin on my hotline 

Kuroo: .. what

Nishinoya: i wanan get freaky on camera i love when we get freaky on camera✨

Nishinoya: can’t give head you give me the facetime 😍

Kuroo: hmm i think i know what you mean

Kenma: kuro i will not answer your calls if you do that

Kuroo: kenma 😭

Hinata: anyway..

Hinata: I GET TO HANG OUT WITH KENMA FOR THE WEEKEND

Hinata: I’VE MISSED HIM SO MUCH

Hinata: KENMA!!!

Kenma: SHOUYOU!!!!

Hinata: KENMA!!!

Kenma: SHOUYOU!!!!

Kenma: i’m literally so excited 

Kenma: :)

Kuroo: omg…

Kuroo: kenma you’re so cute

Kuroo: ur happy texting

Kuroo: ok ok ok ok i[‘m willing ot have a lonely weekend if it means ur this happe

Sugawara: what’s w all the typos

Kuroo: sorry i’m crying i miss him so much

Kenma: i hate you so much sometimes

 

-

 

Hinata: attached image

Sugawara: so cute!!! You all look so happy!!!

Oikawa: I’VE MISSED THEM

Hinata: I’VE MISSED YOU GUYS MORE

Kenma: SHUT UP I’VE MISSED YOU GUYS MORE

Sugawara: SHUT UP LMAO

 

-

Oikawa: i know it’s 1am but

Oikawa: attached image

Oikawa: kenma still called kuroo so the two of them could fall asleep together lolol

Sugawara: that’s so cute lol

Sugawara: can they stop being so in love

Sugawara: it’s disgusting to see

Daichi: ur literally in love w me and u do the same thing??

Sugawara: yeah but we’re the superior and cutest couple in this groupchat and i don’t need kenma and kuroo dethroning us

Daichi: you’re so dramatic

Sugawara: you’re mean and i hate you.

Daichi: i guess i’ll get out of ur bed then…

Sugawara: stop!! No!! 

Daichi: lol

 

-

 

Hinata: attached image 

Hinata: day two!!!!

Sugawara: are you going to just send us pictures this entire weekend?

Hinata: yes

Sugawara: ok

Sugawara: good

Sugawara: they’re cute so keep them coming

Chapter Text

Kenma: i’m back from shouyou’s

Kenma: and i think my foot is broken

Kenma: from walking on it so much

Kuroo: want me to kiss it better?

Kenma: you’re a fucking freak 

Kuroo: ur right that one was a little weird even for me

Tanaka changed the group name to no foot fetishes here 🤚🏻🤢🚫❌🦶🏻

Kuroo: omg

Kuroo: i didn’t know there was a foot emoji

Nishinoya: storing that information away for later, are we?

Kuroo: NOOO STOP

Kenma: kuro if you make these assholes think i’m dating someone with a fucking foot fetish i’ll never forgive you

Kuroo: I DON’T LIKE FEET I SWEAR

Sugawara: Hmmm…

Sugawara: Sure…

Kuroo: i’m shaking i’m crying

Kenma: kuro come carry me up the stairs

Kuroo: on my way!!

Tanaka: on his way to kiss his feet

Kenma: as if i’d ever allow him to go near me like that

Tanaka: suuuuuure

Nishinoya: i guess kenma has a foot fetish too then

Kenma: i really hate you guys

-

no foot fetishes here🤚🏻🤢🚫❌🦶🏻

Asahi: Ew, this group name.

Asahi changed the group name to stop talking about weird shit when i’m trying to sleep

Asahi: Anyway.

Asahi: So

Asahi: Guys

Asahi: ✋🤚

Asahi: Put a finger down if you downloaded a french keyboard just because and then deleted it because it’s annoying and you never use it but your phone still autocorrects the most random spelling errors to random french words!

Asahi: 🤟🤚

Asahi: There’s not an emoji with just one finger down..

Asahi: But hahaha just me?

Sugawara: Yeah it’s just you, i still have ten fingers up

Sugawara: ✋🤚

Daichi: ✋🤚

Kuroo: ✋🤚

Oikawa: ✋🤚

Nishinoya: is that why you send me random shit like that

Asahi: Oui, mon amour. 

Nishinoya: ooooooh hot

Nishinoya: speak french to me on your accidental keyboard daddy 😍😍😍

Daichi: alright that’s enough get this out of the chat

Nishinoya: oh okay so kuroo can say he wants to kiss kenma’s broken foot but i can’t show the world that i love my MAN?

Nishinoya: MY MULTILINGUAL KING?

Daichi: first off i’m not sure that’s what kuroo meant

Daichi: sexond we don’t need to see u calling asahi daddy everyday 

Sugawara:  sexond hm 😍🥴 daddy u got me acting up w that typo

Daichi: what is wrong with you all today 

Sugawara: i was joking but

Sugawara: come over tho?

Sugawara: 😋😋

Daichi: ok !

Hinata: i think i’m uncomfortable 

Oikawa: me too shouyou

Nishinoya: SO IT’S OK WHEN SUGA DOES IT???

Kuroo: SO WHEN SUGA DOES THIS

Kuroo: HE DOESN’T GET MADE FUN OF

Tanaka: suga doesn’t want to lick daichi’s feet

Kuroo: WHEN DI DI SAY THAT I WANT TO LICK KENMA’S FEET

Tanaka: ok sorry

Tanaka: suga didn’t say he wants to deepthroat daichi’s toes

Kenma has left the chat

Kuroo has left the chat

Nishinoya has left the chat

Sugawara: lol

Asahi: Why can’t you guys just act normal?

 

-

 

  stop talking about weird shit when i’m trying to sleep

Kuroo: kenma

Kuroo: kenmaaa

Iwaizumi: can’t you do this in a private chat

Kuroo: kenmaaaa

Kuroo: babyyyy

Kuroo: babbbyyyyyy

Kenma: don’t call me baby in the groupchat

Kenma: it’s weird

Kuroo: should i call u kitten instead? 🙂

Kenma: s

Kenma: sotp

Kenma: what tdf do you want

Sugawara: i think you flustered him

Kenma: he didn’t fluster me

Kenma: i’m busy

Kuroo: yeah right

Kuroo: i bought you a game lol come upon ur door

Kenma: omg

Sugawara: ‘come upon ur door’

Kageyama: how did you spell open that wrong lol

Nishinoya: kageyama u rly think he’s going to answer u rn

Kageyama: what

Nishinoya: my man knows what he’s doin 😌

Kageyama: what

Oikawa: please don’t be implying what i think you’re implying

Nishinoya: guys

Nishinoya: my man kuroo FUCKS

Nishinoya: he knows what he’s doin w that video game

Daichi: why are you implying kuroo bought a video game for kenma just to have sex lol

Hinata: why are we talking about this

Hinata: kenma can’t be bought like that!!

 

-

 

Kuroo: actually he can, in fact, be bought like that

Kenma: stop coming in the groupchat every time we do something to announce it

Kuroo: THEY WERE ASKING

Kenma: THEY WEREN’T

Hinata: we weren’t!

Kageyama: we weren’t

Nishinoya: we were

Oikawa: we weren’t

Daichi: we weren’t

Kenma: see

Kuroo: sorry kitten ❤️ please forgive me

Asahi: Wow you’re really trying to work it today.

Kenma: stop

Kenma: i’m going to kick you out

Kuroo: let me eat that ass first ahaha

Oikawa: WHY 

Tsukishima: wow

Sugawara changed the group name to Kuroo Stop Being So Horny

Kuroo changed the group name to i can’t help it, kenma is just too fuckable;)

Kenma changed the group name to Shitty Boys

Nishinoya: u’re going all the way back to the original group name???

Kenma: Yes.

Kenma: It’s inappropriate to be talking about sex in a groupchat that was made for volleyball.

Nishinoya: LMAOOO KUROO YOU MADE HIM MAD

Kuroo: i know!!! He grabbed his switch and turned away and now he’s ignoring me 😭

Kuroo: he won’t even let me cuddle him!!!!!

Kuroo: kenma i’m sorry!!!!!!! Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kenma: apology not accepted. 

Oikawa: sometimes this groupchat doesn’t feel real

Kuroo: kenmaaa i love you i’m sorry for wanting you so physically even tho you’re such a hot piece of ass and left me for an entire weekend so i had to use my HAND to get off instead of urr mouth like an IDIOT!!!

Hinata: I DON’T WANT TO BE HERE

Oikawa: KUROO

Daichi: are you really expecting that to work??

Kuroo: it did work, he’s laughing

Sugawara: did u say that just to make him laugh?

Kuroo: yes

Kuroo: what can i say, i’m god’s gift to comdey

Kenma: do you mean comedy? Dumbass

Sugawara: your relationship weirds me out the more i see it

Sugawara: you two are just so… fucking weird

Kuroo: but it’s ok because he’s perfect and he maeks this relationship perfect 

Kuroo: and i couldn’t ask for anyone better for me than him

Kuroo: i’m so in love

Kuroo: and in lust ahaha 😋😼

Oikawa: you always ruin it 

Nishinoya: don’t say that he’s just living his truth

Nishinoya: i support you horny kuroo

Kuroo: thank u

Kuroo: SO DOES KENMA HE’S CUDDLIGN ME NWO YESSS

Asahi: Do none of you know how to spell?

Asahi: Just turn on autocorrect it isn’t that hard

Kuroo: ok accidental french keyboard.

Nishinoya: AHAHA

 

-

 

Shitty Boys

Oikawa: do you guys believe in soulmates?

Nishinoya: yessss!!

Asahi: Yeah

Yamaguchi: yes

Daichi: Yes

Kuroo: how could i not 🥺

Kageyama: yes. Why?

Oikawa: idk~~

Oikawa: i just reaaally love iwaizumi!!

Oikawa: like he’s so perfect

Oikawa: and i can’t stop thinking about it 

Oikawa: he’s so good for me

Oikawa: and i can’t imagine ever being in love with anyone else

Oikawa: and like i can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with him 

Oikawa: and we’ll sit at our cute old house and i’ll still be sitting in his lap and cuddling him when we’re old

Oikawa: and i’ll still be calling him iwa-chan and he’ll still just call me an idiot but then he’ll smile that smile that’s only for me while he says it

Oikawa: he’s my soulmate and i’m so in love 

Sugawara: aww that’s so cute and sweet

Iwaizumi: He’s drunk.

Sugawara: LMAO REALLY

Iwaizumi: yes

Iwaizumi: lol

Sugawara: are you?

Iwaizumi: yes

Iwaizumi: lol

Oikawa: iwa-chan drinking omggg scandalous 

Iwaizumi: shut up idiot

Oikawa: iwaizumi hajime you’re my soulmate and i’m in love with you

Iwaizumi: shut up

Oikawa: you’re blushing

Iwaizumi: shut up

Asahi: Why don’t you two put your phones down and have this conversation face to face?

Asahi: You’re literally together. Just talk outside of the groupchat…

Hinata: TOORU YOU’RE DRINKING?

Oikawa: shouyou look away!!! I don’t want ot be a bad influence!!!!

Hinata: OKAY

Kageyama: Idiot.

Oikawa: r u calling me an idiot tobio??

Iwaizumi: hes’ talking to hinata, idiot.

Oikawa: tobio i’ve got my eye on you.

Kageyama: ...ok ?

Asahi: I want to go to sleep.

Asahi: Stop talking in the chat.

Oikawa: if you want to sleep just turn off notifications asahi~

Asahi: Yuu is here, and he reads the chat with his phone screen on full brightness tho

Oikawa: he;s a freak for that

Iwaizumi: you do the same thing

Oikawa: it’s different for me :(

Iwaizumi: why?

Oikawa: because you love me

Iwaizumi: oh 

Asahi: Please

Daichi: Yeah, I’d like to sleep too

Sugawara: then go to sleep you old man

Daichi: scoot closer to me and i will 😌

Sugawara: okay 😋

Oikawa: ur cuddling? Omg I wanna cuddle

Oikawa: iwa-channnnnnn

Asahi removed Iwaizumi and Oikawa from the chat

Asahi: I’m sorry, it had to be done.

Asahi: They can be added back in the morning.

Sugawara: so mean lol

Asahi: good NIGHT







Chapter Text

Tsukishima changed the group name to I’m in love

Tsukishima: I love Yamaguchi so much

Tsukishima: He is the light of my life

Tsukishima: and he is so cute

Tsukishima: Dare I say the cutest person I’ve ever seen

Oikawa: I exist but go off

Sugawara: What a random love confession. Cute wtf

Sugawara: But I mean, we knew you were in love with him sooo

Tsukishima: I just wanted the world to know that I’m in love

Daichi: That’s weirdly cute

 

-

 

Tsukishima: I was taking a nap

Tsukishima: Yamaguchi stole my phone

Yamaguchi: teehee

Kuroo: Don’t lie

Kageyama: we don’t like liars here

Tsukishima: I hate you

Yamaguchi: Don’t lie

Tsukishima: We’re getting a divorce

Yamaguchi: We aren’t married

Tsukishima: We will be one day. And then we will get divorced

Yamaguchi: You think we’ll get married??? 🥺

Tanaka: You’re insane if that’s all you got from what he said.

Yamaguchi: Shut up and imagine me and Tsukki married that’s so cute

Yamaguchi: You’re all invited to the wedding 😊

Kuroo: You’re getting married to get divorced. I-

Yamaguchi: You’re all invited except for Kuroo 😊

Tsukishima: Just because of that, we will not be getting a divorce

Tsukishima: See you all at the wedding, except for Kuroo 

 

-

 

Kuroo: Big spoon or little spoon

Kenma: Little

Kuroo: I know bbg come to my house pls and I will love you

Kenma: I’ll be over in a little. I just need to finish taking my bath

Kuroo: Kenma in the bath 😍

Kenma: Stop being gross, I’m gonna ignore you until I’m at your place

Kuroo: Baby nooooooo

Sugawara: Little spoon 😋

Daichi: That emoji looks so much like you lol

Sugawara: I thought so too

Iwaizumi: Big spoon

Oikawa: I think that’s unfair because I’m taller and Iwa-chan is small and cute

Iwaizumi: Shut up, you’re the one that initiates it

Oikawa: Don’t embarrass me

Iwaizumi: Don’t lie idiot

Tsukishima: Big spoon

Tsukishima: Imagine Hinata being the big spoon

Tsukishima: lol

Nishinoya: What’s weird about that?

Nishinoya: I’m the big spoon

Asahi: Because you say that I make you feel weak when you’re the little spoon

Nishinoya: BECAUSE YOU’RE TOO BIG

Asahi: TOO BIG?! WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN

Nishinoya: Don’t yell at me

Asahi: Don’t make me feel self conscious

Daichi: If you’re going to argue, do it outside of the chat so you don’t make others feel awkward

Asahi: We’re not like really arguing

Nishinoya: WE AREN’T?

Asahi: No we aren’t lol

Nishinoya: Oh thank goodness

Nishinoya: Just so you know Asahi, you’re not too big

Nishinoya: You are more than adequate in more ways than one

Nishinoya: 😉

Kuroo: I was just curious on how everyone cuddled

Kuroo: Not whether Asahi was packing or not

Daichi: I don’t want to be here anymore

Nishinoya: 😉😉😉😉

Asahi: Why 

Asahi: Why did you word it in such a weird way

Asahi: But thanks 🥰

Kuroo: I have no words for you two

 

-

 

Kageyama: Freckles

Tsukishima: Freckles

Hinata: why

Kageyama: Freckles

Hinata: you scare me

Kuroo: freckles

Kenma: stop that

Kuroo: freckles

Kageyama: hinata has

Kageyama: freckles

Kageyama: and I

Kageyama: :-)

Kageyama: I want to kiss him so much

Kageyama: just so much

Iwaizumi: freckles are cute

Oikawa: sorry I don’t have any Iwa-Chan

Iwaizumi: what

Oikawa: I guess I’ll never be enough for you

Iwaizumi: stop

Oikawa: maybe I’ll draw some on. Will you love me then?

Iwaizumi: I do love you

Iwaizumi: stop that idiot

Oikawa: 😔

Iwaizumi: why are you doing this

Oikawa: I wish you’d love me 

Oikawa: maybe you would if I was prettier.

Iwaizumi: you’re the prettiest and I love you

Oikawa: when he thinks you’re pretty 😳😳

Iwaizumi: I hate you now

Oikawa: 💖💖

 

-

 

Kuroo: GUYS

Kenma: shut up

Kuroo: GUYS

Daichi: yes

Kuroo: GUYS

Kuroo: EVERYONE

Kuroo: I FOUND THE GREATEST THING

Kenma: you piss me off

Kenma: and if I remove you, you’ll just tell everyone individually 

Kuroo : KENMA OWNS PANTIES

Kenma: die die die die die

Daichi: ?? How did you find this out?

Kuroo: HE WAS NAPPING AND I WAS CLEANING UP HIS ROOM

Kuroo: AND I FOUND THEM

Kenma: we’re breaking up

Kenma: you’re never invited over again

Kenma: don’t even think about me anymore

Iwaizumi: it’s okay Kenma. I found something similar in Oikawa’s room

Oikawa: IWA-CHAN SHUT UP

Iwaizumi: it’s not even that bad

Kenma: omg omg what was it

Oikawa removed Iwaizumi from the chat

Oikawa: not today

Oikawa: not ever

 

-

 

Hinata: I just CAUGHT UP WITH THE CHAT

Hinata: This is what you deserve Kenma 😌

Kageyama added Iwaizumi to the chat

Oikawa: DO YOU TWO CONSPIRE AGAINST ME

Hinata: Wut

Kageyama: wut

Oikawa: I’m NOTHING BUT NICE TO BOTH OF YOU

Oikawa: AND YOU PUT ME IN SITUATIONS LIKE THIS

Iwaizumi: when you hated Kageyama teehee

Iwaizumi: It’s not a big deal calm down

Sugawara: It really isn’t!

Sugawara: We’re all into our own things so there’s no need to feel uncomfortable!

Sugawara: Just be a proud panty owner like me 😊

Daichi: Suga

Sugawara: 😚

Oikawa: I just

Oikawa: WHY IS EVERYONE HERE SO OPEN

Kuroo: Because we’re horny and in love

Iwaizumi: We don’t have to share anything you don’t want to Oikawa

Oikawa: It’s such an intimate thing to talk about

Kuroo: We just do it so much that we’re comfortable with it 😼

Kenma: Kuro

Kuroo: And because it’s fun to tease you Oikawa

Kenma: Tgats true I love being better than Oikawa

Oikawa: everyone hates me here



Chapter Text

Tsukishima: Attached image

Daichi: Are you all at the arcade?

Hinata: YUP

Hinata: Kageyama won me a stuffed larvitar

Hinata: Attached image

Kenma: That’s so cute

Kenma: I want one

Kuroo: I’ll buy you one

Kenma: 🥺 I love you

Nishinoya: kuroo be my sugar daddy

Asahi: no

Kenma: no

Kuroo: I’ll venmo you $5 bb

Nishinoya: 🥴 thanks

Hinata: Kageyama doesn’t think he looks like larvitar

Hinata: Tell him he's wrong please

Oikawa: He looks like gastly

Oikawa: round ass head

Hinata: why

Hinata: stop

Sugawara: Is this a double date?

Yamaguchi: Yes

Sugawara: Why weren’t me and Daichi invited

Kageyama: that would be like me inviting my parents

Sugawara: DAICHI

Sugawara: HE HAS ACCEPTED HIS ROLE AS OUR SON 

Daichi: I’m so glad to have a son like you Kageyama

Daichi: go on and enjoy your date

Sugawara: :’-)

Oikawa: You’re so weird

Nishinoya: Asahi, lets crash their date

Asahi: No

Nishinoya: Tanaka, lets crash their date

Tanaka: No

Nishinoya: I guess everyone hates fun here wow

Oikawa: I want to go on a date

Iwaizumi: Let's go on one

Iwaizumi: This weekend

Oikawa: 🥰 I can’t wait!

 

-

 

Daichi: Suga exists

Daichi: Like how is that allowed 

Kuroo: wut

Daichi: He’s so perfect

Daichi: I miss him

Kuroo: Where is he?

Daichi: At home

Iwaizumi: Hang out with him then?

Daichi: I can’t

Daichi: I’m working on my clinginess and I’m going crazy lol

Sugawara: Daichi I literally told you it’s fine

Sugawara: You’re so cute lol

Sugawara: But I’m actually really tired so we can hang out tomorrow 😊

Daichi: Okay!

Daichi: goodnight everyone

Kuroo: lol night 

Iwaizumi: night

Sugawara: Goodnight 💗

 

-

 

Tanaka: Daichi I’m laughing but I’m sobbing

Nishinoya: He’s so wholesome but why isn’t he embarrassed

Oikawa: He’s in love, leave him alone

Oikawa: I think it’s cute

Daichi: Attached image

Daichi: Look at this man

Daichi: He exists

Daichi: my serotonin is at an all time high

Daichi: I’m invincible

Tanaka: You’re embarrassing

Oikawa: LEAVE HIM ALONE HE’S SO CUTE

Tanaka: You’re so passionate about Daichi being in love

Oikawa: Because him and Suga are so

Oikawa: Wholesome? That's the only word coming to mind

Oikawa: Soulmates

Kuroo: Do you think me and kenma are soulmates 😼😈😳😳😳😎

Oikawa: I think you’re an idiot

Kuroo: I think you’re jealous

Oikawa: I have a boyfriend?

Kuroo: No, you’re jealous of my charm and my good looks

Oikawa: I’m the prettiest one here. Next

Daichi: Anyways, back to Suga

Daichi: Attached Image

Daichi: Attached Image

Daichi: Attached Image

Daichi: Attached Image

Daichi: Attached Image

Daichi: Attached Image

Daichi: Attached Image

Daichi: Attached Image

Daichi: Attached Image

Daichi: Attached Image

Asahi: sTOp

Asahi: ITS SO CUTE SOTP

Nishinoya: OMGOMFGOMFG DAICHI HAS SO MANY SUGA PICS

Daichi: This is only my most recent?

Kenma: I can imagine how your camera roll looks

Sugawara: Daichi aw stop

Sugawara: Iminloveiminloveiminloveiminlove

Tsukishima: This is kinda gross to be apart of

Tsukishima: Who flirts this much?

Tsukishima: and so openly

Nishinoya: not asahi 

Asahi: why do you always make it about you

Nishinoya: i wouldn’t have to if my BOYFRIEND MADE IT ALL ABOUT ME FOR ONCE

Asahi: You are actually insane

Oikawa: wow same

Iwaizumi: I

Iwaizumi: nevermind

Oikawa: you what? Always make fun of me? Always scold me?

Iwaizumi: you’re dumb

Asahi: Oikawa and noya are more similar than I thought

Tanaka changed the group name to Everyone is Yuu

Tanaka: we’re all a little Noya aren’t we?

Daichi: no

Tsukishima: absolutely not

Asahi: nope

Nishinoya: it’s because I’m an unmatched level of epic 😎

Asahi left the group

Nishinoya: MY LOVE COME BACK

Nishinoya added Asahi to the group

Nishinoya: if you leave, I leave. And I like it here.

Kuroo: do you ever just

Kuroo added Bokuto to the group

Kuroo: crave Bokuto?

Kuroo: he hasn’t replied to me on our private chat in a bit

Kenma: no, I don’t.

Kenma added Akaashi to the group

Kenma: but I do crave Akaashi

Kuroo: where is my man

Kenma: maybe give him more than 4 seconds to respond

Kageyama: omg is akaashi going to reply

Hinata: are you in love with him or something

Kageyama: no idiot. He’s a good setter

Hinata: you called him pretty

Kageyama: let’s not bring that up if you’re gonna be weird about it

Kageyama: that was so long ago

Sugawara: I wanna bring something old up!!

Sugawara: I remember that night I just might regret that night for the rest of my days

Daichi: nO SUGA KUROO WILL START

Kenma: I NEED TO NOT HEAR HIM SING MORE HANILTON THANH E ALREADY DOES PLWASE

Sugawara: 🤐

Oikawa: I’ve never touched that emoji before

Sugawara: yeah because you look like 🥰🤪🎀💖✨💫🍓🍊

Sugawara: and you barely use the emoji keyboard

Daichi: Suga, you look like 😋🥰😚😇🌸🌼🌙🍒💗💕

Sugawara: Aw Aw Aw 

Sugawara: I’d give you some emojis but there aren’t any for the man of my dreams

Kuroo: I’m 😈🤤🤤😼👅🍑💦💦

Asahi: when you actually are

Kuroo: Asahi, you’re 🥺🥰☺️🐣🦦🦔🎋🍂 and all the other cute ones

Nishinoya: HE IS

Kuroo: Bokuto is 💔💔 BECAUSE HE ISNT HERE

Akaashi: Bokuto is taking a nap, so give him some time

Kuroo: a nap😼

Kuroo: and both of you have been inactive on your phones for some time now

Kuroo: sounds suspicious

Kuroo: sounds a little 😈😈🥴🍆🍑💦💦💦

Akaashi: I’m not sure what you want from me

Kuroo: say that Bokuto FUCKS

Kenma: stop

Akaashi: Bokuto fucks

Akaashi: I’m gonna finish taking a nap with him. Bye for now

Kuroo: BOKUTO FUCKS

Nishinoya: BOKUTO FUCKS

Oikawa: BOKUTO FUCKS










Chapter Text

Everyone is Yuu

Kuroo: Serious question

Kuroo: Do I buy Kenma panties or??

Akaashi: Why are you asking everyone? Ask Kenma

Akaashi removed Bokuto from the group

Akaashi left the group

Daichi: lol

Kenma: Only if you want so stop asking weird things

Kuroo: lolol sorry

Kenma: Also, it’s sweet but please stop spending money on me

Kuroo: Never

Kuroo: You’re my sweet cute baby angel soulmate and I must give you everything

Kuroo: That and it helps me feel less regret when I resort to retail therapy 

Kuroo: So send your size my way bbg

Kenma: Ugly

Oikawa: Hello everyone. I would like you all to see this

Oikawa: Attached image

Sugawara: Did you make those?

Kenma: Why are you being so formal

Iwaizumi: He did make them

Kageyama: Macarons? 

Kageyama: Oikawa can’t make pancakes

Kageyama: But he can make macarons?

Iwaizumi: I would like to point out that there are only four because he was struggling and fucked them up.

Iwaizumi: He chose the four prettiest

Iwaizumi: And they taste really good. Even the broken ones

Oikawa: i’ll keep trying

Oikawa: I just wanna be a good wife

Kageyama: It’s kinda rainy out, so maybe try making them tomorrow? It’s supposed to be a clear day

Oikawa: What does rain have to do with macarons

Kageyama: Macarons are kinda difficult. The humidity makes it hard for them to rise and the feet will even crack

Kageyama: You did a really good job for your first try though

Hinata: You’re so 😍 kageyama 

Kageyama: :-)

Oikawa: Wait, does Tobio know how to make them?

Kageyama: Yeah lol

Oikawa: I LITERALLY THOUGHT YOU ONLY THOUGHT ABOUT VOLLEYBALL

Hinata: And me!

Oikawa: I LITERALLY THOUGHT YOU ONLY THOUGHT ABOUT VOLLEYBALL AND SHOUYOU

Kageyama: I stress bake and cook

Kageyama: maybe I’ll make some tomorrow too

Yamaguchi: Can I have some?

Kageyama: Sure!

Sugawara: I can’t imagine you baking omg

Sugawara: Do you have an apron?

Kuroo: Please say yes

Kageyama: yes

Kuroo: 😍

Hinata: 😍😍😍

Tanaka: Hear me out

Tanaka: We buy him a cute frilly apron

Kageyama: No 

Tanaka: WHY NOT

Kageyama: I’d just make hinata wear it

Kageyama: On second thought, I’d love an apron like that

Hinata: I hate you

Kageyama: It’d be cute

Kenma: we should all bake something

Kenma: And then we can all meet up and share it

Nishinoya: THAT SOUNDS SO FUN ME AND ASAHI ARE IN

Asahi: We don’t know how to bake

Nishinoya: We can do something simple

Oikawa: This does sound fun omg!!

Daichi: Maybe we can dedicate a few days of break to it? 

Daichi: If we’re all free

Yamaguchi: I already can’t wait!

 

-

 

Oikawa: Attached image

Kageyama: They look great

Oikawa: I guess it was the humidity huh

Oikawa: I just gotta work on sizing

Kageyama: I use a silicone mat

Kageyama: It has circles printed on them for like a guide

Oikawa: I’ll have to get one!

Kuroo: I want sweets now

Kuroo: Kenmaaa invite me over

Kenma: When have you ever needed an invitation

Kenma: Come over

Kuroo: 🏃🏻‍♂️

 

-

 

Kuroo: Update

Kuroo: Kenma had no sweets at his house

Kuroo: But i ate ass again so maybe that counts

Kenma: Update

Kenma: We’re BREAKINGGUP

Kuroo: Update

Kuroo: pls bbg no who’s ass will I eat

Kenma: Update

Kenma left the group

Kuroo added Kenma to the group

Oikawa: Update

Oikawa: Kuroo is a freak

Kuroo: Update

Kuroo: I’m not, I just love eating Kenma’s ass

Hinata: Update

Hinata: Let Kuroo live, he’s doing what he loves

Kuroo: Update

Kuroo: thank you hinata

Kenma: You’re the horniest bitch here

Kuroo: Only for you bb😼

Kenma: 💗

Kenma: Suga is second horniest

Sugawara: WHAT

Daichi: you literally are

Sugawara: WHAT

Nishinoya: You were so passionate about throat fucking

Sugawara: Throat fucking ✨😍

Sugawara: Who isn’t passionate about that

Nishinoya: Me

Sugawara: that’s a sign of weakness

Nishinoya: WEAKNESS

Nishinoya: DO YOU SEE HOW SMALL I AM

Sugawara: Not a good excuse. You take 6’14 dick soooo

Sugawara: Try getting your throat fucked and then talk to me

Asahi: That’s not even a height

Nishinoya: FINE ASAHI COME OVER 

Asahi: Why is this a competition

Tanaka: HAHSHHA I CNAT BREATHR

Nishinoya: ACTUALLY NO IM ON MY WAY

Asahi: what is going on

Asahi: Suga look what you’ve done

Kenma: Awww Noya’s first throat fucking

Sugawara: A milestone really

Asahi: HES ALREADY HERE HE GOT HERE SO FAST IM NERVOUS

Daichi: Suga why

Sugawara: 😇

Oikawa: Daichi, get your mans

Sugawara: Asahi and Noya, you’re welcome

Asahi: I hate you suga

Sugawara: 😇

 

Nishinoya removed Asahi from the group

Nishinoya left the group












Chapter Text

Everyone is Yuu

Sugawara: i miss daichi

Oikawa: go hang out with him

Sugawara: well

Sugawara: HE’S BUSY TODAY

Sugawara: he can’t even be on his phone :(

Sugawara: we can’t all be like kenma and kuroo

Kuroo: the sad truth

Kuroo: are you ready to admit that kenma and i are the superior couple?

Sugawara has removed Kuroo from the chat

Oikawa: i think me and iwa-chan are the superior couple actually (☆>⊇<)

Iwaizumi: no we aren’t because you’re part of it

Oikawa: so mean 💔

Sugawara: hey

Sugawara: let’s get back to me???

Sugawara: i miss daichi

Kenma added Kuroo to the chat

Kuroo: kenma does love me 

Kenma: you’re stupid of course i do

Sugawara: guys we’re supposed to be talking about me!

Sugawara: i’m shaking i’m crying i miss my daichi 

Kuroo: excuse me that’s MY line

Sugawara: you can’t own lines

Kuroo: you can’t own the title of superior couple

Sugawara: it’s the truth

Kuroo: well

Kuroo: shaking and crying and missing kenma is MY truth 

Kuroo: stop trying to steal that away from me

Sugawara: you just want me to die, don’t you?

Sugawara: if you hated me so much why didn’t you say something

Sugawara: i get it i get it you all only like me because i’m daichi’s main squeeze

Sugawara: the bane of his existence

Oikawa: Suga why are you being like this

Oikawa: and kenma why are you letting kuroo be so dramatic 

Kenma: sometimes i just have to let him speak

Kenma: it’s better for everyone if he just gets it off his chest

Oikawa: what does that even mean

Hinata: kenma says sometimes he’ll walk around ranting about things for hours

Kenma: yeah and he dooesn’t stop 

Kenma: he just

Kenma: paces and rants

Kenma: it’s so annoying

Kuroo: u think i’m annoying? 💔

Sugawara: and you want to say you’re the superior couple?

Sugawara: i never think daichi’s annoying

Sugawara: unless when we’re eating popcorn together sometimes he sticks the popcorn in his mouth and sucks on it until it dissolves 

Sugawara: it gives me nightmares

Sugawara: but anyway WE’RE SUPPOSED TO BE TALKING ABOUT ME!

Oikawa: suga your spotlight is up just accept it

Oikawa: everyone’s bored of you and your problems

Sugawara: even daichi 

Sugawara: there’s no other reason he’d be busy today 💔😔

Oikawa: yeah exactly

Iwaizumi: tooru shut up

Oikawa: iwa-chan 💔😢

Kuroo: glad to kno everyone else’s boyfriends hate them too 💔

Kenma: why are you being like this?

Kenma: you piss me off

Oikawa: he’s basically breaking up with you kuroo. He hates u

Iwaizumi: tooru shut up

Hinata: not everyone’s boyfriends hate them!! Kageyama doesn’t hate me

Oikawa: shouyou i’m sure there’s something

Oikawa: it isn’t hard to find things to hate about you

Kenma: yeah\

Hinata: shut up kenma! you can’t even type!

Kenma: that’s because kuro is laying on me

Kenma: it’s hard to see my screen

Kenma: and to move my arms

Kenma: he’s so big

Kuroo: so you hate me?

Kenma: yeagh i really do

Kageyama: there isn’t anything i hate about hinata

Oikawa: there has to be something annoying about him though right

Iwaizumi: tooru why are you being this way today

Iwaizumi: leave them alone

Iwaizumi: don’t plant things into their heads

Oikawa: i’m not planting anything i’m simply watering the seeds of doubt that are already there~

Iwaizumi has removed Oikawa from the chat

Iwaizumi: i’m sorry, he’s embarrassing me.

Iwaizumi: i think he’s having a bad day lol

Iwaizumi: i’m going over to his apartment after work

Hinata: keep us updated!!!

Sugawara: yeah!

Iwaizumi: he doesn’t deserve u guys worrying about him

Iwaizumi: ew

Iwaizumi: yes he does. I’m being mean

Iwaizumi: he deserves the world

Kuroo: kageyama and iwaizumi are the best boyfriends in this chat

Kuroo: what does it feel like to be superior

Sugawara: daichi exists but ok

Kuroo: daichi left u all day 

Sugawara: ur right

Kenma: u two are so needy

Kuroo: needy gang rise up 

Sugawara: yes!

 

-

 

Daichi: just caught up with the chat lol

Daichi: what is wrong with you guys

Sugawara: daichi! I missed you! So much!

Daichi: I know

Kuroo: daichi! Where were you!? I missed you!

Sugawara: YOU missed him?

Kuroo: more than anything.

Daichi: Lol

Daichi: I told Ukai I’d help him out with the shop

Sugawara: A working man!!! So sexy!!!

Kuroo: A WORKING MAN!!! SO SEXY!!!

Sugawara: why are you just repeating what i said in caps

Kuroo: so he’ll pay attention to me and not you

Sugawara: why are you doing this to me

Kuroo: because daichi is my man…

Kageyama: i thought i was your man

Kuroo: i can’t have two?

Sugawara: kenma come get your man

Kuroo: lol u thought!!!

Kuroo: kenma is post orgasm sleeping he isn’t waking up for a WHILE

Kageyama: did we really need to know that

Kuroo: obviously???

Kuroo: yeah i eat ass AND i fuck

Kuroo: 😈

Nishinoya: YEAH KUROO!!!!

Asahi: stop making me uncomfortable in the groupchat, guys…

Hinata: yeah!!

-

 

Iwaizumi added Oikawa to the chat

Oikawa: your favorite setter is back~~~

Oikawa: And also sorry for being mean to you guys earlier!

Kuroo: akaashi????

Kenma: akaashi is your favorite setter

Kenma: really

Kenma: akaashi

Kuroo: i

Kuroo: kinda

Kuroo: ...forgot you were a setter hahaha

Kuroo: funny right

Kuroo: ahaha so funny

Kenma has left the chat

Kuroo: hfdjhg

Hinata: how are you tooru?????

Oikawa: i was having such a bad day!!! And iwaizumi came over and brought me a slice of cake from my favorite bakery!!!! And then layed in bed with me and cuddled me and kissed me so much!!!

Sugawara: Stop bragging.

Oikawa: i’m not bragging sugawara~

Oikawa: i just have the best boyfriend in the universe!~~

Kuroo: i msis kenma

Oikawa: maybe next time don’t forget that he’s your favorite setter 

Kuroo: i am being completely honest

Kuroo: i actually forgot

Kuroo: because he’s laying on me 

Kuroo: and like

Kuroo: he keeps really lightly kissing my neck because he’s like

Kuroo: ‘i just want to kiss you kuro’

Kuroo: and i know that he’s only doing it because he’s comfortable and doesn’t want to move to give me an actual kiss

Kuroo: but my heart is melting

Kuroo: and i’m flustered 

Kuroo: and so like

Kuroo: u said setter my blank ass mind said akaashi

Sugawara: that still doesn’t make sense but okay

Oikawa: freak

Kuroo: shut up i’m flustered 

Kuroo: he’s so precious

Oikawa: why don’t you tell him that

Oikawa: instead of pissing him off enough for him to leave the chat

Oikawa: Lol

Kuroo: he knows

Kuroo: i know he knows

Kuroo: becayse after he left he started doing it mnroe

Kuroo: actually brb

Nishinoya: YES KUROO

Tanaka: YES KUROO

Tanaka changed the group name to kuroo FUCKS 

Kuroo: facts

-

 

Kuroo FUCKS

Kenma: kuro fucking sucks

Kuroo: shut up

Kenma: no. if you get to tell the groupchat everytime we fuck then i get to say this

Kuroo: shut up

Oikawa: so vulgar kenma!!

Kenma: anyway

Kenma: kuro sucks at mario kart 

Kenma: like he’s so horrible

Kenma: i’m literally shocked

Kuroo: kenma shut UP

Kuroo: i’ve never been so angry in my life

Kenma: it’s kind of ufnny 

Kenma: i touched him and he was so rigid and tense

Kenma: kuro i think you need to rela.x

Kenma: and just accept that you fucking suck.

Sugawara: aww he can’t be that bad!

Kenma: join our game lol

Kenma: you’kl see

Sugawara: ok!!

 

-

 

Sugawara: kuroo fucking sucks

Kuroo: SHUT UP

Kenma: kuro it’s ok

Kenma: i’m sure if shouyou was playing you wouldn’t be last place

Hinata: WHY ARE YOU MAKING THIS ABOUT ME

Kenma: you’re bad at everything

Kenma: so it only makes sense

Hinata: kenma i hate you.

Kenma: yeah, yeah.

Oikawa: i don’t really play video games

Kageyama: neither do i

Yamaguchi: i do!!

Yamaguchi: except i like to play farming games

Sugawara: lol they’re just so mind numbing 

Sugawara: it’s so nice

Sugawara: especially after coming home from a long day dealing with you idiots.

Hinata: thanks suga.

Nishinoya: wow

Asahi: even me??

Sugawara: especially you.

Asahi: 😦

Hinata: eyebrows please!

Asahi: 😧

Hinata: thank you

Oikawa: why do you guys listen to him when he says that

Oikawa: everytime i see that emoji my lifespan is shortened by 30 years.

Kuroo: 😧😧😧😧

Sugawara: 😧😧😧

Tanaka: 😧😧😧😧😧😧

Iwaizumi: 😦

Oikawa: aww Iwa-chan ❤️❤️ 

Iwaizumi: … ❤️

Nishinoya: aww a hesitant heart

Nishinoya: he’s shy

Nishinoya : reminds me of my asahi

Nishinoya: I miss u asahi 💔🥺

Asahi: i can come over if u want🥺

Nishinoya: pls 🥺🥺🥺



Chapter Text

kuroo FUCKS 

Kuroo: kenmaaaa

Kuroo: kenma bby i miss youuuuu

Kuroo: baby answer your phoneeee

Tsukishima: haven’t we been over this?

Tsukishima: saying it in the groupchat isn’t going to make him more likely to answer. 

Hinata: kenmaaaaaa

Oikawa: kenmaaaa answer kuroooooooo so he doesn’t do this for an hourrrr

Hinata: kenmaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Tsukishima: stop

Kuroo: babyyyyyyy

Kuroo: babeeeeeeeee

Kuroo: kittennnnnnn 

Kuroo: sweetieeeeeeeee

Kuroo: wait i don’t call him that

Kuroo: hottest piece of ass ever in the universe whom i love with my entire heart and soullllllllll

Tsukishima: wow

Kuroo: KENMA PLEASEEEE

Sugawara: why don’t you go over to his place? Didn’t that work last time?

Kuroo: sugawara you’re a genius

Sugawara: thanks, i know 😇

Oikawa: excuse me

Oikawa: when he called me a genius for suggesting that last time you said it was obvious

Sugawara: yeah but this is different

Oikawa: why

Sugawara: because i’m a genius

Sugawara: kuroo, if you find him when you get to his house let us know!

Nishinoya: such a good mom!!!

Sugawara: after he almost died in the sun i’m kind of concerned if he’s not answering 

Oikawa: that’s fair because kenma doesn’t know how to take care of himself

Kuroo: ok i just finished showering so i’m leaving soon and i’ll keep u all updated!!

Nishinoya: update us if u get ass too

Kuroo: don’t i always?;)

 

-

 

Nishinoya changed the group name to Kuroo fucks?

Kuroo changed the group name to Not today

Nishinoya changed the group name to why?

Kuroo changed the group name to he’s not in the mood

Nishinoya changed the group name to can’t u make him in the mood?;);)

Kuroo: no, he’s upset today

Kuroo: my poor baby :(

Oikawa: have him call me

Kuroo: alright!

Tsukishima: why would he call you

Hinata: kenma always calls him when he’s upset

Hinata: tooru’s a really good listener

Hinata: i’m never sad or angry after i talk to him on the phone!!!

Oikawa: that’s bc you two are my children and the lights of my life and i’ll do anything to make you happy

Daichi: awww that’s cute

Tanaka: why did you two communicate through changing the group name

Sugawara: that’s what you got out of this?

Tanaka: yeah

Tanaka: kenma if ur reading the chat rn i hope u feel better soon ❤️

Nishinoya: ryu ur such a sweet guy!!!!!!

Nishinoya: i love you!!!!!

Tanaka: yuuuuu come over to my house!!!! I miss you!!!!!

Nishinoya: i’m on my way!!!!!!!

 

-

 

Oikawa and Kenma

Oikawa: kenma

Oikawa: i know you aren’t reading the groupchat 

Oikawa: and i know kuroo’s probably already told you

Oikawa: but remember that you can call me if you need to!

Kenma: Thank you

Kenma: But I think I’d rather be left alone right now

 

-

 

Kuroo and Oikawa private message

Oikawa: he doesn’t even want to talk on the phone :/

Kuroo: i know, i’ve been here for like two hours and he’s barely said anything.

Kuroo: it’s thursday, so i think i’m going to stay for the weekend

Oikawa: good good good

Oikawa: anything for our kenma right 🥺

Kuroo: exactly 🥺

 

-

can’t u make him in the mood?;);)

Kageyama: how’s kenma doing?

Kageyama: it’s been a few days and we haven’t heard anything

Kuroo: gasp

Kuroo: kageyama are you worried?

Kageyama: yeah

Kuroo: GASP

Hinata: i am too!

Hinata: how is he?

Kenma has left the chat

Hinata: oh it’s one of those

Daichi: what?

Hinata: sometimes when kenma’s really depressed he doesn’t like when his notifications go off

Hinata: like sometimes he’ll let them just collect and not care

Hinata: and sometimes he doesn’t like seeing notifications at all

Kuroo: yeah

Kuroo: i’ve had his phone most of the weekend tbh because i’ve been trying to get him to do something other than just lay down and play on it

Hinata: has he downloaded that soap cutting game yet

Kuroo: yes 

Oikawa: oh no

Daichi: what

Oikawa: he always downloads this stupid soap cutting game on his phone when he’s depressed 

Oikawa: i don’t know why

Oikawa: it’s horrible

Sugawara: i think i know which app you’re talking about

Oikawa: yeah it’s ugly

Kuroo: anyway, i’m gonna go again

Yamaguchi: ok! I hope he feels better soon! 💚

Kuroo: thanks strawberry head

Yamaguchi: what does that mean

Kuroo: you look like a strawberry

Yamaguchi: i’m going to rise above and pretend like i didn’t read that 💆🏻‍

Tsukishima: you’re so dramatic

Yamaguchi: tsukki!! I miss you!

Yamaguchi: can you come over and help me rise above 💆🏻‍♂️

Tsukishima: i don’t know what that means

Tsukishima: but sure, I was already on my way anyways.

Yamaguchi: yay!!!

Hinata: lol

Hinata: strawberry head

Iwaizumi: hinata you can’t talk here

Nishinoya: oH YEAH I FORGOT ABOUT THAT

Tanaka: hinata do you still wash your hair with that shampoo every time you hang out with kageyama?

Hinata: shut up

Yamaguchi: strawberry head

Hinata: strawberry head!

Kageyama: stop that

Kageyama: and leave shouyou alone, his hair smells good

Kageyama: there’s nothing wrong with that

Tsukishima: we get it, you’re in love

Kageyama: shut up

Hinata: in love?

Hinata: with 

Hinata: ME?

Kageyama: shut up 

Kageyama: i didn’t want to say anything yet

Hinata: aww

Hinata: i love you too

Asahi: can’t you do this in your own chat…

Oikawa: no

Oikawa: i’m taking a screenshot of this to show kenma when he’s feeling better omg

Oikawa: he’ll be so mad he missed it

Hinata: shut up i hate you two

 

-

 

Kuroo and Oikawa: 

Oikawa: hey

Oikawa: i’m in tokyo right now

Oikawa: are you still at kenma’s?

Kuroo: yeah

Oikawa: i’m coming over

Kuroo: okay, i’ll leave the door unlocked!

 

-

 

can’t u make him in the mood?;);)

 

Kuroo added Kenma to the chat

Nishinoya: kenma’s back!!!!

Kenma: yeah lol

Hinata: i missed you!!

Kenma: i missed you too

Sugawara: are you alright?

Kenma: i’m fine! I guess i was just

Kenma: Too stressed or something

Kenma: The worms in my brain were sad

Kenma: Idk

Kenma: sorry if i made anyone worry

Nishinoya: it’s ok kenma!!!

Nishinoya: we all care about u and want u to be okay!!!

Kenma: aww. Stop

Kuroo: he’s blushing

Kenma: shut up. I’m not.

Kuroo: Yeah you are

Kenma: i’m not

Kuroo: you are

Kenma: i’m not

Daichi: ok that’s enough

Kuroo: kenma you better stop

Kuroo: u got me feelin some typa way 🥴

Kenma: kuro u got me feelin some typa way 😻

Kuroo: do i need to come back into ur room? 😼

Kenma: i think u do 🥴

Oikawa: why

Oikawa: why are you two doing this when you know i’ll hate you for it

Kenma: maybe i want you to hate me tooru

Oikawa: rude!!

Oikawa: and after i drove to tokyo just to give you hugs!!

Nishinoya: when he’s caring 😍

Oikawa: ikr 🥰

Oikawa: iwa-chan is lucky to have me 🥰

Iwaizumi: no i’m not 

Oikawa: rude!!

 

-

 

Kuroo: just ate ass!!!

Nishinoya: YESSS!!!!!!

Asahi: why do you two hype each other up like this

 

-

 

Asahi: oh yeah i forgot

Asahi attached image

Asahi: kitten update!!!!!

Kenma: SOOOO CUTE OMGGGG 

Kenma: KURO LOOK AT HER SHE’S SO BIG

Kenma: KURO ARE YOU LOOKING

Kenma: SHE’S SO CUTE

Kenma: KURO ARE YOU LOOKING???

Kenma: YOU GOT HER A COLLAR?

Kenma: I’M GOING TO CRY

Kenma: KURO

Kenma: KURO KURO KURO

Kenma: CAN WE PLEASE GET A CAT

Kuroo: why did you guys send a pic of her 

Kuroo: now i have to deal with this

Kenma: kuro please

Kenma: please

Kenma: i never ask for anything PLEASE

Kuroo: no

Kenma: i want to break up with you.

Kuroo: kenma

Kenma: kuro

Kuroo: kenma please

Kenma: KURO I JUST WANT A CAT

Nishinoya: you can have ours

Asahi: stop!!!! You love her and you know it!!!!!

Nishinoya: no i don’t.

Asahi: she sleeps on your chest every night and you let her

Nishinoya: she’s cuddling me and who am i to stop her

Nishinoya: that doesn’t mean i love her

Asahi: you love her

Kenma: YOU LOVE HER

Kenma: KURO THAT COULD BE US

Kuroo: kenma, NO

Nishinoya has left the chat

Chapter Text

can’t u make him in the mood?;);)

Kuroo added Bokuto to the chat

Kenma: no

Kenma removed Bokuto from the chat

Kuroo: kenma why

Kenma: you know why

Kuroo: ur no fun!!!

-

Kuroo added Bokuto to the chat

Kenma removed Bokuto from the chat

Kuroo: KENMA PLEASE

Kenma: NO

Kenma: HE’S ANNOYING

Kuroo: YOU’RE NO FUN!!

-

Tanaka added Yamamoto to the chat

Kenma removed Yamamoto to the chat

Tanaka: KENMA!!

Kenma: I DON’T WANT HIM HERE

Oikawa: who said you get to decide who’s in this chat

Kenma: I did

Kenma: Just now

Oikawa: Fair

Oikawa: Looks like kenma has spoken.

Oikawa: Ohhh nooo you guys can’t add your annoying friends to the chat what a shameeeeee

Sugawara: ur lucky that wasn’t a rule before

Sugawara: bc if my memory is correct u were one of hinata’s annoying friends that got added

Oikawa: i don’t know what you’re talking about

-

Hinata added Lev to the chat

Kenma removed Lev from the chat

Hinata: KENMA!

Kenma: I DON’T WANT HIM HERE HE MAKES ME SICK

Sugawara: Kenma’s putting his foot down!!!

Sugawara: I respect it

Sugawara: I don’t think we need more chaotic energy in this groupchat.

Daichi: I agree

Sugawara: of course you do!

Sugawara: can i suck your dick 😍🥰

Sugawara: please

Oikawa: SUGA

Kuroo: you guys are no fun!!!!

Nishinoya: BORING YOU GUYS ARE BORING

Nishinoya: but YESSS DAICHI

 

-

Tanaka: is kenma here

Kenma: yes

-

Tanaka: is kenma here

Kenma: yes??

-

Tanaka: is kenma here

Kuroo: no

Kuroo: he doesn’t have his phone with him

Kuroo: he’s taking a shower 🤤

Nishinoya: nice

Asahi: yuu stop

Nishinoya: why don’t you love me

Tanaka: hurry kuroo distract kenma before he comes back to the chat

Daichi: what

Kuroo: wait why

Kuroo: HOW

Nishinoya: IDK GET IN THE SHOWER WITH HIM

Nishinoya: FUCK HIM 

Kuroo: u don’t have to tell me twice 😼

Sugawara: what are you guys doing 

Oikawa: probably something horrible

Nishinoya: idk what you mean

 

Nishinoya added Bokuto to the chat

 

Bokuto: HEY HEY HEY!!!!!!

Oikawa: like i said, something horrible.

Hinata: BOKUTO!!!

Bokuto: HINATA!!!

Nishinoya: BOKUTO!!!

Bokuto: NISHINOYA!!!!

Bokuto: WAIT….

Bokuto: SOMEONE IS MISSING....

 

Bokuto added Akaashi to the chat

 

Akaashi: bokuto….

Bokuto: PLEASE JUST STAY

Akaashi: no

Bokuto: PLEASE

Bokuto: attached image

Akaashi: seriously

Akaashi: you think sending a picture of you pouting is going to work?

Bokuto: PLEASE

Akaashi: …. Fine

Bokuto: I’M SO HAPPY I’M GONNA KISS YOU

Nishinoya: YAY

Hinata: YAY

 

Tanaka added Yamamoto to the chat

Yamamoto: WHAT IS THIS

Tanaka: WELCOME

Nishinoya: YAMAMOTO!!!!!

Yamamoto: I DON’T HAVE YOUR NUMBER SAVED!!!!

Nishinoya: NISHINOYA!!!

Yamamoto: NISHINOYA!!!!!

Yamaguchi: tsukki help i’m scared

Yamaguchi: i’m shivering me timbers

Tsukishima: tadashi please stop talking like that

Nishinoya: SHIVERING ME TIMBERS

Yamamoto changed the group name to Shivering me timbers

Hinata added Lev to the chat

Hinata: LEV!!!!!

Lev: HINATA!!!

Lev: WHERE’S KENMA?

Nishinoya: he’s BUSY 

Nishinoya: IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN ;;;)))

Akaashi: omg. nice

Yamamoto: YESSSS KENMA!!!!!

Lev: no kenma 😡

Bokuto: WHERE’S KUROO???

Nishinoya: BUSY

Bokuto added Satori to the chat

Satori: WHAT’S THIS????

Oikawa: what’s going on

Oikawa: WHY ARE THERE SO MANY NEW NUMBERS IN HERE

Oikawa: I DON’T HAVE ANY OF YOU SAVED

Satori: OIKAWA TOORU ??????

Oikawa: WHO ARE YOU

Iwaizumi: Who’s asking?

Sugawara: jealous, iwaizumi?

Satori: You don’t have my number saved Oikawa? I’m HEART BROKEN

Satori: i’m the love of your LIFE!!!

Iwaizumi: So, me?

Iwaizumi: Iwaizumi Hajime?

Oikawa: wait

Oikawa: satori?

Oikawa: ew

Iwaizumi: Why did you know who he was because of that?

Oikawa: lmaoooo iwa-chan

Oikawa: calm down, don’t get jealous

Satori: or do;) we are competing for your love, after all

Oikawa: No.

Bokuto: I MISS KUROO

Lev: I MISS KENMA

Yamamoto: TANAKA!

Tanaka: YAMAMOTO!

Satori: OIKAWA!

Oikawa: why me?

Satori: Sorry, you’re just so much fun!

Iwaizumi: no, he isn’t

Sugawara: LMAO 

Kenma: why is my phone blowing uo

Kenma: what the fuck

Kenma: i hate you guys

Kuroo: BOKUTO!

Bokuto: KUROO

Kuroo: BOKUTO!

Lev: KENMA!!!!

Kenma: lev

Lev: KENMA!!!

Kenma: why are you here

Lev: ur so cute!

Lev: I missed u!

Kuroo removed Lev from the chat

Bokuto: AHAHAHA KUROO

Kuroo: he doesn’t need to be talking to kenma like that

Kenma: amazing

Hinata: LEV 💔

Yamamoto: LEV 💔

Kenma: kuro it’s so scary in here why did you do this to me

Kuroo: i literally didn’t add any of them

Kenma: kuro it’s so scary in here why did you do this to me

Kenma removed Yamamoto from the chat

Tanaka: YAMAMOTO!!!!!!

Satori: it’s ok

Satori: i’m here 

Iwaizumi removed Satori from the chat

Oikawa: AHAHA IWA-CHAN

Sugawara: thank god

Tsukishima: i have a headache from all of you idiots

Kuroo: bokuto i miss you

Kuroo: why did you go quiet :( :(

Bokuto: I’M SCARED 

Bokuto: I DON’T WANT TO BE REMOVED

Bokuto: KENMA PLEASE

Kenma: fine

Bokuto: YESSSS

Kuroo: YESSSS

Kuroo: BOKUTO GUESS WHAT I JUST ATE ;)

Bokuto: YESSSSSS

Nishinoya: YESSS

Akaashi: Oooh nice, Kenma

Kenma: 😌

Kuroo: what

Kuroo: my kenma

Kuroo: willingly talking about getting his ass eaten???

Oikawa: kuroo why are you obsessed with ass eating

Oikawa: it’s disgusting

Oikawa: it’s just as disgusting as sugawara being so passionate about throat fucking

Sugawara: what can i say? I love what i do

Tsukishima: you’re all freaks and i don’t want to be in this chat anymore

Bokuto: yeah but i’m here so obviously that makes it better right

Tsukishima: no

Bokuto: :( 

Kageyama: give him a nose

Bokuto: ok

Bokuto: :-(

Oikawa: why would you listen to him?

Kageyama: it’s cute

Bokuto: :-)

Oikawa: ugh

Kageyama: :-)

Bokuto: KUROO I THINK I LIKE HIM

Kuroo: YES BOKUTO ME TOO

Kuroo: WE’RE BEST FRIENDS

Bokuto: UNKNOWN NUMBER BE MY BEST FRIEND

Tsukishima: you’ve been in this chat how many times and still don’t have all of the numbers saved?

Bokuto: NO ONE TELLS ME ANYTHING WHEN I’M HERE

Kageyama: it’s kageyama. And sure :-)

Hinata: stop making friends in front of me 

Oikawa: shouyou why are you jealous

Hinata: he’s giving them so much more attention than me 😔

Kageyama: sorry. Should i come over?

Hinata: yes!!!!

Bokuto: SORRY HINATA I’M BEST FRIENDS WITH HIM NOW

Kuroo: ME TOO

Bokuto: BEST FRIEND TWINS BEST FRIEND TWINS

Kenma: this is why i never want you in the chat

Bokuto: :-(

Chapter Text

Oikawa changed the group name to Confessions 

Oikawa: Forgive me father for I have sinned

Nishinoya: You’re a Catholic?

Oikawa: No, I’m a sinner

Sugawara: What happened?

Sugawara: Did you finally get your throat fucked by Iwaizumi? You feel like you’ve sinned?

Iwaizumi: “ Finally” he says as if it hasn’t happened before

Sugawara: Omg OMGOMG

Nishinoya: NICE

Oikawa: HAJIME

Yamaguchi: What actually happened?

Oikawa: I have SINNED

Oikawa: I AM ALLERGIC TO GUAVA

Oikawa: A SIN

Iwaizumi: Thou shalt not have any strange gods before me

Iwaizumi: Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image

Iwaizumi: Thou shalt not be allergic to guava

Sugawara: I wouldn’t call you a sinner

Sugawara: just a loser 😋

Iwaizumi: But actually Oikawa, are you okay?

Oikawa: Yes. BUT IM SOBBING

Oikawa: My throat and tongue are so itchy and I think I’m breaking out

Iwaizumi: I’ll bring you some tea and allergy medicine?

Oikawa: I don’t think I need medicine but I’ll take some tea 💗 The door will be unlocked 🥺 thank you

Yamaguchi: But it’s just guava

Oikawa: I don’t think you understand my love for guava

Yamaguchi: It’s not my favorite fruit

Oikawa: It’s not mine either lol

Oikawa: BUT IT’S STILL GOOD

Oikawa: What if I wake up tomorrow and I’m allergic to persimmons 

Oikawa: Or honeydew

Sugawara: Just avoid guava

Oikawa: WHAT AM I GONNA DRINK IN THE SUMMER

Yamaguchi: Anything but drinks including guava?

Oikawa: NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ME HERE

Kageyama: Hope you feel better

Oikawa: gross

Iwaizumi: Say thank you, idiot

Oikawa: gross

Iwaizumi: Oikawa

Oikawa: Don’t tell me what to do

Iwaizumi: We’re not cuddling today

Oikawa: NO

Oikawa: Thank you Tobio

Kageyama: :-)

Oikawa: Ew he’s smiling at me

Hinata: KAGEYAMA SMILE AT ME

Kageyama: :-)

Sugawara: Why don’t you use emojis?

Kageyama: I do, but I just think he’s cute

Oikawa: He?

Kageyama: yes, him :-)

Kageyama: He’s cute

Hinata: ur cute

Kageyama: no you are

Hinata: no u r

Kageyama: shut up you are

Hinata: ur literally so cute Kageyama shut up

Tsukishima: You’re both ugly

Kageyama: :-(

Kuroo: DON’T MAKE HIM SAD

Kenma: DON’T INTERRUPT THEM WHEN THEY’RE BEING CUTE

Tsukishima: Don’t tell me what to do

Oikawa: This was about me

Oikawa: Why is it suddenly not about me anymore

Sugawara: Because no one cares

Nishinoya: SUGA LMAO

Oikawa: Whatever, Iwa-chan is here to pay attention to me

Oikawa: I hate all of you 😍

Yamaguchi: LMAO

-

Daichi changed the group name to Suga doesn’t love me

Kuroo: Oh?

Daichi: 😔

Iwaizumi: What happened

Daichi: He won’t stop playing tetris

Daichi: He came to my house to use my switch to play tetris

Daichi: We’re just like, laying here

Daichi: And he’s like playing tetris on my chest

Daichi: AND HE WANTS ME TO PUT MY PHONE DOWN BECAUSE I’M NOT PAYING ATTENTION TO HIM

Kuroo: lmao that’s like Kenma

Kenma: Stop

Kuroo: It’s cute

Sugawara changed the group name to Suga loves Daichi so much

Daichi changed the group name to Daichi loves suga the most

Sugawara changed the group name to Suga wants a kiss

Asahi: This is just happening

Daichi changed the group name to Stay out of this Asahi

Asahi changed the group name to This is a group chat, I can do what I want

Sugawara changed the group name to Daichi pay attention to me

Kuroo changed the group name to Daichi pay attention to ME

Sugawara changed the group name to Kuroo FUCK OFF

Kuroo changed the group name to Sugawara, don’t be rude

Sugawara changed the group name to Daichi take care of my needs 😉

Kuroo changed the group name to Daichi fucks?

Sugawara: He’s about to 😋

Tanaka changed the group name to DAICHI FUCKS

Nishinoya: YES DAICHI FUCKS NICE DAICH HAHA

Asahi: stop being weird

Oikawa: Suga was just playing tetris, why is he horny?

Kuroo: Is Suga ever not horny? That’s the better question

 

-

 

Hinata: retailtherapyretailtherapyretailtherapy

Kenma: no

Hinata: retail therapy

Kageyama: yes

Kenma: what

Kageyama: it makes him feel better

Kenma: he will be broke

Hinata: broke and happy

Hinata: Wait kenma

Hinata: what if I customize a shirt with me and Kageyama on it. And I give one to you and one to Kuroo

Hinata: Hilarious

Hinata: add to cart

Kenma: You’re a monster

Kenma: Kageyama please review his orders before he buys things omg

Kageyama: lmao of course

Hinata: I want a shirt with Kageyama’s face on it

Kageyama: you dont

Hinata: I do

Kageyama: you dont

Hinata: Add to cart

Kenma: freak

Hinata: sorry that I love my boyfriend

Hinata: sorry not sorry

Kenma: Why would you say that what ew that’s such a dead phrase

Hinata: #sorrynotsorry

Oikawa: A new form of ugly 

Iwaizumi: do you guys ever think about Kageyama

Hinata: always

Oikawa: only when I really have to

Kuroo: always

Kenma: stop trying to steal boyfriends Kuro

Kageyama: What does this mean

Iwaizumi: Like, you know how to do makeup and hair and you can bake

Iwaizumi: and you’re like good at volleyball

Iwaizumi: It’s just unexpected and I think about it a lot

Oikawa: Think about me instead wtf

Oikawa: Do you hate me or something?

Iwaizumi: I don’t

Oikawa: I think you do

Iwaizumi: I think you’re dramatic

Oikawa: I think I’m reasonable

Iwaizumi: I think you’re an idiot

Oikawa: Well I think you’re handsome

Iwaizumi: Well I think you are too

Nishinoya: Kageyama is so dreamy what

Kuroo: Husband material 😤🥵🥵

Chapter Text

DAICHI FUCKS

Kenma: I had the WORST dream last night

Kenma: We were all going somewhere idk and like it was pouring out and like we all took turns grabbing our jackets because whatever

Kenma: And it was finally my turn to grab mine and everyone started yelling at me that I wont neef mine

Kenma: And I was yellinh back because it’s POURING but we left anyways and I wss soaking wet and Lev gave me his jacket and took another one for himself

Kenma: Long story short, what you guys did was unforgivable and idk how you’re going to make up for it

Kuroo: is that why you were being so mean today?

Kenma: I wasnt being meen?

Kageyama: meen

Oikawa: how did you spell that wrong when he literally wrote it above like what

Kuroo: you didn’t hug me today!

Kuroo: THATS MEAN

Kenma: I let you hug me while I played Mario Kart

Kuroo: I need all your attention

Kuroo: therefore what you did was unforgivable and idk how you’re gonna make up for it

Nishinoya: omg kenma suck his dick and he’ll forgive you

Oikawa: noya is a real person AHHHA HE'S JUST OUT HERE

Kuroo: yeah kenma, suck my dick and I’ll forgive you

Kenma: okay but you made me walk IN THE POURING RAIN ABD I EAS SOAKING WET

Kuroo: IN A DREAM

Kenma: IT WAS STILL YOU

Nishinoya: omg Kuroo eat his ass and he’ll forgive you

Kenma: Kuro eat my ass and I’ll forgive you

Kuroo: bbg 😍😍 I’ll be back at your place later tonight

Nishinoya: YES 

Nishinoya: NICE KUROO AND KENMA NICE

Asahi: would you stop that

Nishinoya: I’m a couples counselor

Sugawara: Do you guys ever just wanna kiss Daichi?

Sugawara: because I do

Kuroo: yes

Sugawara: wut

Oikawa: Sometimes

Sugawara: WUT

Iwaizumi:

Iwaizumi: what

Tanaka: Yes always 🥵🥰🥵🥰🥺🥺😤😳🥵😎😍

Sugawara: STOP NO

Sugawara: WHY DO YOU GUYS WANT TO KISS HIM WHAT THE FUCK

Sugawara: I was gonna talk about how much I want to kiss him because I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND BUT WHAT IS HAPPENING OIKAWA AND KUROO NEVER LOOK AT DAICHI AGAIN

Daichi: I’ll be back Sunday night 😚

Sugawara: 😚 Absence makes the heart grow fonder

Asahi: suga that is literally only two days

Sugawara: absence makes the heart grow fonder Asahi. I don’t know what you want from me

Kenma: where is daichi going?

Sugawara: to visit his family for the weekend

Sugawara: and tomorrow his family is having dinner with

Sugawara: the Michimiyas teehee 🙃 

Daichi: Suga, I invited you to come with me

Sugawara: I don’t want your mom to think I’m clingy

Daichi: she already knows you’re clingy lol

Sugawara: STOP STOP STOP THATS EMBARRASSING DAICHI WHY WOULD YOU TELL ME THAT

Daichi: it’s cute lol

Yamaguchi: Tsukki’s parents know I’m clingy, but they also know that Tsukki is the exact same way

Tsukishima: shut up shut up

Tsukishima: don’t embarrass me

Yamaguchi: sorry❤️

Nishinoya: you guys are childhood friends so it makes sense

Nishinoya: wait do you think Kageyama is clingy

Tsukishima: he’s not

Tsukishima: sometimes he’ll forget to text Hinata

Yamaguchi: OMG THAT ONE TIME HINATA REPLIED SO FAST AND SAID HE WAS WAITING ALL DAY

Oikawa: omg I would cry if iwa-Chan didn’t text me all day

Kageyama: I don’t use my phone that much, it was an accident

Hinata: 💔💔💔💔

Kageyama: stop that

Hinata: 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

Kageyama: IDIOT STOP, IM OMW TO YOUR PLACE

Hinata: 🥰🥰🥰

Sugawara: when was this about you two

Sugawara: it’s supposed to be about me and Daichi

Iwaizumi: when did you become an attention whore like Oikawa

Oikawa: Rude iwa-chan!! 。゚(゚´Д`゚)゚。

Sugawara: when Daichi went home and I was lacking attention ✨✨🦋🌸💖

Kuroo: imagine being lonely as fuck

Sugawara: imagine being salty because your boyfriend didn’t hug you

Kuroo: imagine saying something so uncalled for

Sugawara: imagine me hating you

Kuroo: imagine me being in love with your boyfriend

Sugawara: imagine me kicking your ass

Kuroo: imagine me laughing because you’re small and can’t do shit

Sugawara: imagine me blocking your number 😘

Kuroo: imagine your boyfriend spending the weekend with a girl who likes him while you sit at home

Sugawara left the group

Daichi added Sugawara to the group

Daichi: Kuroo stop that

Kuroo: yes daddy 😍🤪😚🥵🥵🥵💦💦

Sugawara left the group

Kenma added Sugawara to the group

Kenma: Kuro, stop you fucker

Kuroo: yes bbg 🥰

Sugawara: I’m the nicest bitch here

Sugawara: I don’t deserve this

Kuroo: I’m nice

Oikawa: no

Daichi: no

Kageyama: you’re nice

Kuroo: my man!!!

Sugawara: Do not go against me Tobio

Kageyama: sorry Kuroo

Kuroo: 😦

Hinata: ahem

Kuroo: 😧

 

-

 

Sugawara: Daichi is back 😤😤

Sugawara: I do be hugging him

Kuroo: Daichi come hug me

Sugawara: Daichi no

Kenma: Daichi NO

Oikawa: Daichi come hug me!! ✨

Iwaizumi: Daichi stay where you are

Kuroo: no Daichi come here

Sugawara: leave my husband alone🤬🤬

Kageyama: leave my dad alone

Tanaka: Daichi my king😳😳😤😍😍 come hug me🥺

Daichi: why are you guys like this

Oikawa: Daichi is one of the most handsome men here

Oikawa: after Iwa-Chan

Kuroo: kenma, am I more handsome than Daichi?

Kenma: u wish

Kuroo: KENMA

Asahi: how was your family weekend?

Daichi: it felt nice being at home for a little bit haha

Sugawara: ❤️❤️

Kuroo: how was that dinner with the michimiya family?

Sugawara: do you hate me or something 🙃

Daichi: it was fun. Yui is actually transferring up here soon 

Sugawara: 🙃

Sugawara left the chat

Chapter Text

DAICHI FUCKS

Hinata: can someone tell kageyama that he’s being dramatic

Kuroo: i think i need context

Kuroo: my man would never

Nishinoya: i agree with kuroo

Kuroo: i stand with kageyama 😌🤚🏻

Nishinoya: hell yeah 😌

Oikawa: tobio you’re being dramatic and you’re stupid

Hinata: thanks tooru

Kenma: what did he do?

Hinata: he’s being petty for no reason

Kageyama: i am NOT being petty for no reason

Yamaguchi: you are

Kageyama: I’M NOT

Tsukishima: he’s not.

Yamaguchi: kei, you’re doing it too so shut up

Daichi: woah a double argument

Sugawara: double whammy heart eyes

Sugawara: but like lol what’s happening

Hinata: yamaguchi and i were just hanging out right

Oikawa: yeah go on

Hinata: and these two girls came up to us and started talking to us which ISN’T A BIG DEAL

Sugawara: umm….

Hinata: and we were talking for like two hours so they gave us their numbers and asked us to hang out another time!

Yamaguchi: which we’re doing on saturday

Kageyama: no you aren’t.

Tsukishima: you’re not going

Hinata: and they’re being dramatic

Hinata: because they think they’re into us

Yamaguchi: shouyou and i are ADULTS i think we know when someone is hitting on us

Kageyama: no you don’t because you’re both stupid

Tsukishima: they’re into you. Don’t go.

Oikawa: lololol

Sugawara: was there like… suggestive conversation?

Hinata: NO

Kageyama: YES THERE WAS

Hinata: YOU WEREN’T EVEN THERE

Kageyama: i don’t need to be there to know they were flirting with you

Kageyama: you’re just an idiot and never realize when people are flirting with you

Hinata: that isn’t true

Kageyama: shouyou i flirted with you for TWO YEARS before we dated

Hinata: no you didn’t

Tsukishima: yes he did

Tsukishima: i don’t think you guys should go.

Yamaguchi: we’re going. It’s not a big deal

Kageyama: fine.

Tsukishima: Whatever. Fine.

Sugawara: well

Sugawara: this isn’t awkward

 

-

 

Kuroo: guys

Kenma: shut up

Kenma: i’m upset and you’re laughing at me

Oikawa: ur upset??? why what happened where are you

Kuroo: lol

Kuroo: guys

Kuroo: guess what kenma just did

Kenma: shut up

Oikawa: well??

Daichi: it’s been ten minutes are you going to tell us

Sugawara: i guess kenma killed him

Nishinoya: nooooo my man 💔

 

-

 

Kuroo: sorry

Kuroo: kenma had a bad day

Kuroo: and this manga that he’s reading got updated and he started reading it

Kuroo: and i think the main couple broke up??

Kuroo: AND HE STARTED SOBBING?

Kenma: shut up I was upset

Kuroo: kenma you were crying so hard 

Kuroo: u couldn’t breathe

Kuroo: over a manga couple

Kenma: THEY GOT INTO AN ARGUMENT

Kuroo: THEY DIDN’T EVEN BREAK UP?

Kenma: NO BUT STILL

Oikawa: kuroo why did it take you thirty minutes to tell this story

Kuroo: he was so upset i had to comfort him

Asahi: awww

Nishinoya: when he’s a good boyfriend 🥺😍

Akaashi: Lol Kenma

Akaashi: Kuroo you’re a horrible boyfriend why are you telling the groupchat about his breakdown

Kuroo: so what you’re telling me is you hate me and want me to die

Akaashi: I’m not anti-Kuroo i’m just pro-Kenma 💛

Kenma: at least SOMEONE cares about my wellbeing 

Kuroo: IS AKAASHI THE ONE HUGGING YOU RIGHT NOW???

Kuroo: IS AKAASHI THE ONE WHO JUST MADE YOU YOUR FAVORITE FOOD AND LET YOU CRAWL INTO HIS HOODIE WITH HIM????

Akaashi: Do you want to get desert when we hang out later?

Kenma: yes

Kuroo: SO YOU’RE JUST IGNORING ME?

Akaashi: Can we go to the one place that makes my favorite pies?

Kenma: ooooooh yes we haven’t gone there in so long

Asahi: why are you guys making plans in front of us

Sugawara: right in front of our eyes

Bokuto: wait wait you guys hang out??

Kuroo: ?yeah um????!!!!!!!! 

Akaashi: we literally hang out all the time

Kuroo: bokuto look at our boys

Bokuto: i’m crying

Akaashi: what

Akaashi: WHY ARE YOU ACTUALLY CRYING?

Bokuto: I’M JUST

Akaashi: attached image

Kuroo: BOKUTO YOU IDIOT AHAHAHA

Oikawa: WHY ARE YOU CRYING

Sugawara: AHAHAHA

Kenma: bokuto this is why i always kick you out of the chat

 

-

 

Oikawa: so… it’s saturday

Iwaizumi: tooru, don’t

Oikawa: how’s that date going?

Hinata: it’s not a date

Hinata: because they aren’t interested in us

Yamaguchi: tsukki wanted to come, and he introduced himself as my boyfriend and won’t let go of my hand

Yamaguchi: it’s kind of embarrassing but also.. Sweet

Kuroo: yesss tsukki assert your dominance!!! 

Bokuto: sexyyy

Sugawara: LMAO REALLY

Daichi: tsukishima don’t you think that’s a little petty?

Tsukishima: i don’t know what you’re talking about.

Kageyama: well i’m sitting at home.

Hinata: brooding

Kageyama: yeah.

Kageyama: because i’m sitting at home and you’re hanging out with some girl who’s interested in you.

Sugawara: jealous, kageyama?

Kuroo: u sure u can talk about jealousy, sugawara?

Sugawara: i don’t know what you’re talking about.

Kuroo: daichi how’s yui doing?

Sugawara: we’re talking about KAGEYAMA, kuroo. Not me

Kenma: kuro stop trying to get a rise out of him

Kenma: put your phone down i want to lay on you

Kuroo: yes kitten 😻

Oikawa: gross

Daichi: hinata keep us updated on your not date

Hinata: there’s nothing to update you on because we’re literally just all friends!

Kageyama: whatever, idiot.

 

-

 

Hinata: um

Kageyama: yes?

Hinata: yamaguchi’s leaving

Oikawa: is the other girl leaving too?

Hinata: no…

Kageyama: hm 

Kageyama: sounds like they both think you’re cute

Kageyama: and now they’re both gonna flirt with you

Hinata: would you stop

Oikawa: hmm

-

Hinata: so 

Hinata: kageyama do you want to come get me?

Kageyama: omw

Sugawara: lmfao

Sugawara: hinata you’re an idiot

Hinata: i tried to believe in them i tried 😭

Nishinoya: well

Nishinoya: at least you can say that u can still get pussy if you wanted to 🤪

Tanaka: word bro 

Asahi: stop it

Kuroo: kageyama is gonna come after u two next 😳

 

-

 

Hinata: kageyama found me and kissed me in front of them

Hinata: i’m so embarrassed

Hinata: i want to die

Kageyama: lol

Sugawara: daichi why is our son so petty?

Daichi: i’m sure he gets it from you

Chapter Text

Sugawara changed the group name to Daichi has a$$

Sugawara: attached video.

Sugawara: Daichi now knows how to throw it back

Daichi: KOUSHI

Sugawara: 😋

Kuroo: first name first name first name

Kuroo: Also, why does Daichi have so much ass?

Sugawara: Don’t look at him

Kuroo: Daichi date me

Sugawara: Kuroo you can leave

Kuroo: Daichi you can date me

Kenma: Kuroo you can leave

Daichi: Suga you did this

Oikawa: Daichi 🥴

Oikawa: That video is about to make me act up

Iwaizumi: Stop that

Sugawara: STOP THAT

Sugawara: I WANT TO SHOW OFF MY BOYF BUT I CANNOT

Kuroo: Keep showing him off 🤤

Oikawa: Don’t stop now 

Sugawara: I thought this was a safe place

Kuroo: I’ll take care of Daichi 🥵

Sugawara: LEAVE MY DAICHI ALONE

Bokuto: Daichi 🥰

Sugawara: No NO NO

Akaashi: Stop…

Tanaka: Daddy 😫 

Tanaka: Daichi* 😳 oops how did that happen so weird

Sugawara: I hate you all

Daichi: I feel

Daichi: violated

Sugawara: Daichiiiii

Kenma: treat Daichi with respect everyone

Kenma: even though he’s the hottest guy here we have to respect him

Sugawara: 😤

Kuroo: 😤

Kuroo: WAIT KENMA WHAT

Kemna: 💋

Sugawara: So have we all agreed to leave Daichi alone?

Kuroo: Yes

Kuroo: For now

Sugawara: good enough

Sugawara: Daichi I need attention and you aren’t giving me any

Daichi: sorry sorry sorry 

Daichi: 😚

Sugawara: 😚

Bokuto: What is that

Iwaizumi: A text kiss

Bokuto: Akaashi, we should text kiss 

Akaashi: We should not.

 

-

 

Hinata: Put a finger down if all you want is your Kageyama’s attention but he hangs out with Tsukishima more than you so you can’t have any

Kenma: Wow that’s so relatable

Kenma: Definitely not something just happening to you

Hinata: Kageyama hates me

Hinata: Kageyama doesn’t love me anymore 

Kenma: Idk why

Kenma: But I can tell you’re being dramatic

Oikawa: Wow break up with Kageyama 

Oikawa: Break his heart lol

Iwaizumi: no

Oikawa: Yes

Iwaizumi: No idiot

Oikawa: Wow, you didn’t have to call me an idiot 

Iwaizumi: You’re an idiot so I don’t see a problem

Oikawa: Iwa-chan hates me 💔

Oikawa: Iwa-chan doesn’t love me anymore

Kenma: u both are being so scary right now

Kenma: I hate it

Kageyama: What are you going on about

Hinata: You’d know if you paid more attention to me and NOT TSUKISHIMA

Kageyama: You’re insane

Tsukishima: You’re insane Hinata

Hinata: I’m not insane, I’m heartbroken.

Kageyama: Whatever, are you still coming over for dinner?

Hinata: YES

 

-

 

Tanaka: I WAS ON TIKTOK

Tanaka: AND YOU KNOW THE AUDIO THAT PLAYS AND ITS LIKE YOUR SOULMATE WILL TEXT YOU WHEN YOU LISTEN TO IT

Tanaka: NOYA TEXTED ME AHAH

Tanaka: WE’RE SOULMATES

Nishinoya: WBK WBK WBK WBK WBK

Tanaka: SOULMATES SOULMATES SOULMATES

Nishinoya: SOULMATES SOULMATES SOULMATES

Tanaka: Sorry Asahi 😎

Asahi: aw shucks 

Nishinoya: We should text kiss like daichi and suga LMAOOOO

Sugawara: Don’t make fun of us

Daichi: We’re cute

Sugawara: Wow i wanna suck your dick

Daichi: Suga, not in the groupchat

Akaashi: I love your energy Sugawara

Akaashi: It gives me a rush

Sugawara: 💗

Akaashi: 💗

Bokuto: OMG AKAASHI IS MAKING FRIENDS

Bokuto: THIS IS GREAT THIS IS GOOD DAICHI WE’RE FRIENDS NOW

Bokuto: DAICHI MY BEST FRIEND WHERE ARE YOU

Akaashi: I think he’s busy

Bokuto: oooooh

 

-

 

Kuroo: I CANNOT BREATHE GUYS GUYS

Kenma: You’re nothing to me

Kuroo: HAHAH GUYS OMGOMGOMOMG LISTEN TO ME AHAH

Kuroo: ME NAD KENMA WERE WALKING TO STARBUCKS AND HE WAS SO SCARED OF STEPPING ON ICE AND THERE WAS AN UNAVOIDABLE PATCH

Kuroo: LIKE THERE WAS NO GOING AROUND IT

Kuroo: AND HE LIKE SLIPPED

Kuroo: CAUGHT HIMSELF

Kuroo: AND THEN HE SLIPPED AGAIN BUT DIDN’T STOP

Kuroo: LIKE HE WAS SLIPPING FOR 10000 YEARS

Kuroo: BUT LIKE HE WAS GOING IN A WEIRD DIAGONAL DIRECTION FOREVER

Kuroo: But then he was laughing and crying and then sobbing and then I felt bad

Kuroo: But we couldn’t stop laughing and he was scared but I was scared too

Kuroo: lol

Kuroo: Good times am I right?

Kenma: Im traumatized

Kenma: ur laughinf at my trauma

Akaashi: Are you okay?

Sugawara: Did you get hurt?

Kenma: I’m fine, just

Kenma: Scared

Kenma: I don’t want to leave the house ever

Kuroo: NOOOO

Kuroo: I’ll carry you everywhere bbg

Kenma: I’d rather slip and break my neck

Kuroo: Love me

Kenma: I could never love a freak

Kuroo: I’ll carry you bridal style everywhere 😍

Kuroo: couple goalzzzzz

Kenma: You will not

Kenma: Don’t come to my house ever again

Kenma: You aren’t welcome here anymore

Kuroo: bb let me help

Kuroo: Let me nurse you back to health

Kenma: You can start by buying me an iced coffee

Kuroo: You just had one though

Kenma: You can start by buying me an iced coffee

Chapter Text

Daichi has a$$

Bokuto: Akaashi

Akaashi: Bokuto 

Bokuto: Are you coming over?

Akaashi: yes, I’m just getting ready

Bokuto: 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

Asahi: when the groupchat is the perfect place to make plans heart eyes

Kuroo: can I come too?

Bokuto: NO

Kuroo: Um wow okay you can just hate me I guess

Bokuto: this is me and Akaashi time

Nishinoya: oh?

Bokuto: Akaashi hurryyyyyyyy

Akaashi: You can just come over instead?

Bokuto: 🥰🥰 see you in a little!!!

Nishinoya changed the group name to hopefully Bokuto Fucks

Asahi: stop being weird

Nishinoya: I’m being hopeful stop being mean

Nishinoya: I just thought of something funny

Nishinoya: ASSahi

Kuroo: wow so original

Asahi: lmao Noya

Sugawara: that was so new wow

Asahi: guys stop he’s cute

Nishinoya: Asahi? More like my effing soulmate

Asahi: cutie

Sugawara: Effing

Kageyama: Effing

Tsukishima: Effing

Oikawa: EFFING AHHAAH GROW UP

Nishinoya: I’m a year younger than you

Oikawa: And somehow still so much shorter than me

Hinata: AHAHAHAH

Oikawa: I wouldn’t laugh if I were you

Yamaguchi: imagine being SHORT HAHA

Tsukishima: you don’t have to imagine Yamaguchi

Yamaguchi: So this is how you’re breaking up with me??? OVER TEXT

Yamaguchi: after everything we’ve been through?

Yamaguchi: AFTER EVERYTHING I GAVE UP FOR YOU

Yamaguchi: NOW YOU’RE IGNORING ME

Yamaguchi: Tsukki 💔💔💔

Tsukishima: You’re so dramatic all the time

Yamaguchi: But you love me? 🥺

Tsukishima: ❤️

Yamaguchi: ❤️

Kageyama: Gross

Yamaguchi: GrOSs

Tsukishima: Lmao

 

-

 

Bokuto: nEVER AGAIN AKAASHI

Akaashi: group chat

Bokuto: NEVER AGAIN WHY IS YOUR BED LOUD

Akaashi: Group Chat Bokuto

Bokuto: NEXT TIME, WE’RE GOING TO MY PLACE

Bokuto: WHERE MY BED IS QUIET AND YOU CAN STEAL CLOTHES I DON’T NEED TO WEAR BACK HOME

Bokuto: I HAD TO FIGHT FOR MY HOODIE

Kuroo: Oh?

Akaashi: GROUP CHAT 

Nishinoya: YES NICE BOKUTO

Nishinoya changed the group name to Bokuto FUCKS 😎

Kenma: Why is this happening

Akaashi: In the group chat too. Please read my messages next time Bokuto

Kuroo: Next time 😳

Sugawara: Next time 🥴

Bokuto: OMG THIS IS THE GROUP CHAT AKAASHI IM SORRY

Akaashi: The damage has been done

Nishinoya: It’s okay, we’ve talked about worse in here 😳😳😳😳

Kuroo: Ass eating?

Bokuto: Ass eating 🤤

Sugawara: MORE HORNY PEOPLE IN THE CHAT 🥵 WE LOVE TO SEE IT

Tanaka: one of us one of us one of us

Kuroo: YES

Bokuto: RIGHT????

Kenma: Welcome to my life 😜

Akaashi: I don’t know what to say

Bokuto: AKAASHI I LOVE YOU SO MUCH FORGIVE ME

Oikawa: Bokuto, you disgust me

Bokuto: Ah, so you’ve discussed me. I’m a trust fund, baby, you can trust me.

Sugawara: HAMILTON AND HORNY YES BOKUTO

Akaashi: My king 

Bokuto: AKAASHI

Kageyama: I’ve been reading Common Sense by Thomas Paine, some men say that I’m intense or I’m insane

Akaashi: My real king

Kuroo: Kageyama 😍

Bokuto: AKAASHI NO 

Hinata: WHAT

Daichi: It’s always Hamilton

Kenma: I know like why please Kuroo will never stop

Kenma: He’s a maniac

Kuroo: A talented maniac with great legs

Kenma: A talented maniac with decent legs I guess

Kuroo: Love me please bbg

Kenma: I’ll think about it

Sugawara: Lol 

Kuroo: Why do you hate me

Sugawara: BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS TALK ABOUT DAICHI

Kuroo: So does Yui

Sugawara: YOURE LUCKY YOURE IN TOKYO

Bokuto: Yui? Who is that???

Daichi: No one of importance

Kenma: Kuro why

Sugawara: 🙃

Sugawara left the group

Daichi: Why is this happening again

Daichi added Sugawara to the group

Kuroo: My power 😎

Kenma: ur annoying

Kuroo: You hate me

Kenma: Sometimes

Kuroo: WHY ARE YOU AGREEING

Kuroo: KENMA I LOVE YOU

Kuroo: WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS

Kuroo: KENMA IM SO IN LOVE WITH YOU

Kuroo: SAY IT BACK DAMMIT

Chapter Text

Bokuto FUCKS 😎

Kuroo: i have something to say 

Asahi: ok

Asahi: go on

Nishinoya: speak ur truth kuroo!!!

Sugawara: Or don’t

Daichi: Suga why

Sugawara: I don’t think kuroo should ever speak.

Bokuto: i disagree!

Sugawara: I see. Watch yourself.

Bokuto: 😧

Hinata: You remembered the eyebrows!

Bokuto: OF COURSE! ANYTHING FOR YOU HINATA!

Akaashi: Bokuto, stop screaming

Akaashi: And put your phone away, we’re on a date

Bokuto: But akaashi you were on your phone first :(

Akaashi: I was texting Kenma

Tanaka: Priorities ig 

Sugawara: I want to go on a date :(

Sugawara: Daichi:(

Daichi: We can go out tomorrow? 💗

Sugawara: Okay love 💓

Oikawa: Cute.

Kuroo: EXCUSE ME

Kuroo: I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY??

Nishinoya: SAY IT SAY IT SAY IT

Kuroo: So

Kuroo: Kenma came over right

Kuroo: And he brought me GRILLED MACKEREL 

Kuroo: And like I was really sad yesterday

Bokuto: YOU WERE SAD?

Kuroo: YES BUT IT’S FINE 

Kuroo: I don’t like talking about being sad. I feel like it’s annoying people and I’d rather not bother them

Sugawara: If you need to talk about something Kuroo don’t hesitate! We’ll never think you’re annoying and we’ll never be bothered and we’ll always be here to listen to you!!!! 😙

Sugawara: and if u feel too pressured or weird to talk about issues in a big groupchat remember you can always just message me because i’ll always listen to you no matter what u have to say and you’ll never b bothering me!!!!! 🥰

Kuroo: Aw Suga 💖

Sugawara: Aw Kuroo 💞

Daichi: This is nice

Kuroo: BUT ANYWAY I’M GETTING SIDE-TRACKED 

Kuroo: I DIDN’T TELL KENMA I WAS UPSET

Kuroo: But I asked to call him and he stayed on the phone with me all day even though I wasn’t talking much

Kuroo: AND THEN OUT OF NO WHERE HE’S ALL ‘it’s comforting sitting on the phone with you. Even if we aren’t talking, it still makes me feel like we’re together, and it’s my favorite feeling in the world.’

Kuroo: AND I WAS LIKE ‘ur favorite feeling is sitting with me on the phone?’

Kuroo: AND HE SAID ‘no, it’s being with you’

Kuroo: WHEN I TELL YOU MY HEART M E L T E D 

Kuroo: AND THEN TH ENEXT DAY HE COMES OVER WITH FOOD?? MY FAVORITE FOOD??? I’M SCREAMING. SCREAMING I TELL YOU

Kuroo: I’M SO IN LOVE WITH HIM

Kuroo: IT’S INSANE

Kuroo: AND THEN WE WERE SITTING LISTENING TO MUSIC AND WE WERE EATING AND HE KEPT FEEDING ME FOR NO REASON

Kuroo: IT WAS SO CUTE AND HE WAS SO WEIRDLY GENTLE ABOUT IT

Kuroo: AND THEN I MADE FUN OF HIM BECAUSE I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO

Kuroo: IDK HOW TO HANDLE THIS MUCH LOVE

Kuroo: AND HE SCRUNCHED HIS FACE UP ALL CUTE BUT KEPT DOING IT BUT HE WAS BLUSHING AND I KISSED HIM SO MUCH BECAUSE HOW COULD I NOT

Kuroo: HE’S SO PERFECT

Kuroo: And now he’s asleep on me

Kuroo: and i needed to TELL YOU GUYS

Kuroo: HOW MUCH I LOVE HIM

Kuroo: because he’s so perfect and i cafn’t stop looking at him. Like . he’s so beautiful

Sugawara: this is so cute

Sugawara: you’re just so in love

Sugawara: omg

Oikawa: kuroo that was cute

Oikawa: iwa-chan why don’t you ever talk about me like that?💔

Iwaizumi: i do. Just not anywhere you can see it

Oikawa: rude 

Oikawa: kenma’s going to wake up and JUST READ THIS

Oikawa: AND KNOW HOW MUCH KUROO LOVES HIM

Oikawa: AHHH so cute so cute so cute

Nishinoya: SO CUTE SO CUTE SO CUTE

Kuroo: i’m going to wake him up by kissing his face just the most 

Kuroo: brb

Hinata: i wish someone would kiss me all over MY face….

Kageyama: stop being jealous

Hinata: 😔

Kageyama: shut up

Kageyama: shut up shut up

Kageyama: i’m coming over rn so i can kiss you

Hinata: 😃

Oikawa: what a horrible emoji

Sugawara: well

Sugawara: i wish someone would cover my face w something

Sugawara: not kisses

Sugawara: something better ;)

Oikawa: i’m so scared of you sugawara

Nishinoya: i’m sure daichi could arrange that ;)

Sugawara: i’m sure he could 

Sugawara: daichi can you come over? 💓

Daichi: um

Daichi: yeah

 

-

 

Kuroo: sugawara how did you manage to turn my pure love confession into THAT

Kuroo: into T H A T 

Nishinoya: he’s a man who knows exactly what he wants in life

Kuroo: i guess he is

Sugawara: well kuroo at least what i got is BETTER than kisses

Kuroo: actually, whore, kenma got that too so he got the best of both worlds 😻😘 

Kuroo: attached image

Daichi: KUROO

Asahi: OH MY GOD KUROO

Oikawa: OH MY GOD MY EYES KUROO KUROO WHY WHY

Nishinoya: YESSS KENMA AND KUROO

Kenma: kuro i hate you

Bokuto: is that a new one?

Kuroo: yes!

Daichi: why did you know that

Daichi: actually. I don’t want to know 

Sugawara: attached image 

Oikawa: SUGA YOU DON’T HAVE TO SEND ONE TOO

Daichi: SUGA STOP

Kuroo: I HAVE MORE PICTURES

Kuroo: AND OF MORE EXPLICIT THINGS

Sugawara: SO DO I

Kuroo: I BET MINE ARE WORSE

Kuroo: attached image

Sugawara: attached image

Oikawa: AHHHHHH

Oikawa: STOP STOP STOP I DON’T NEED TO SEE THIS SIDE OF KENMA

Oikawa: OR YOU SUGA OMG 

Nishinoya: YESSSS I SUPPORT YOU GUYS SO MUCH

Nishinoya: come on oikawa it’s not like they’re naked 

Kuroo: no but he can be

Sugawara: SO CAN I 

Akaashi: ok

Akaashi: I’m gonna stop you two right there 

Akaashi removed Sugawara and Kuroo from the chat

Oikawa: akaashi you’re my savior 

Yamaguchi: no offense kenma

Yamaguchi: but i could have gone my entire life without seeing what u look like with cum on your face 

Yamaguchi: same goes with suga but he isn’t here

Kenma: i’m so embarrassed omg 

Kenma: nbut i can[t stop laughing

Asahi: why is everyone in this chat so open

Kenma: sex is a beautiful thing

Tsukishima: it

Tsukishima: isn’t

Nishinoya: don’t listen to them kenma i think you looked AMAZING

Kenma: thanks that means just so much

Akaashi: Lol

Nishinoya: ouch 

Kenma: lolol tbh if you thnk that’s bad u should see his camera roll

Kenma: just be grateful that akaashi took him out of the groupchat so early on

Kenma: once kuro gets started with those he usually doesn’t stop

Daichi: same with suga….

Oikawa: both of you are dating fucking freaks

Chapter Text

Nishinoya changed the group name to Suzu and Asahi Suzu and Asahi

Nishinoya: attached video

Nishinoya: She’s got a long way to go lol

Tanaka: A cat climbing Asahi’s leg

Tanaka: A CAT CLIMBING ASAHI’S LEG OMGOMGOMGOMG

Kenma: Cat pants

Kuroo: Aw lolng

Kenma: Cat pants

Kenma: I want 

Kenma: Cat pants

Kenma: I need 27 cats to climb on my legs

Kenma: cat pants

Kuroo: Kenma no

Kenma: Kuroo cat pants

Kenma: I need 35 cats to climb on my legs 

Kenma: Cat pants

Sugawara: what is happening

Kenma: 41 cats climbing up my legs

Kenma: cat pants

Oikawa: The number is only increasing shut up

Kenma: U donyt get it

Kenma: Cat

Kenma: Pants

Daichi: Cat pants

Kenma: He gets it!!

Asahi: She’s so cute

Asahi: Our daughter ❤️

Nishinoya: She’s alright 

Asahi: love her

Nishinoya: I think she gets more attention than me

Asahi: Noya, she’s a cat

Nishinoya: Yes

Asahi: I don’t know what you want me to say

Nishinoya: That you’re in love with me

Asahi: I’m 

Asahi: I’m embarrassed

Nishinoya: So you don’t love me?

Asahi: No, I do

Nishinoya: say it say it

Kuroo: Why do you torture this man

Asahi: I’m embarrassed

Nishinoya: You tell Suzu you love her all the time 😣

Asahi: She’s a cat!

Asahi: I tell you I love you all the time what are you saying

Nishinoya: Please come cuddle Asahi

Daichi: You are all over the place noya

Sugawara: I’m overwhelmed.

 

-

 

Kenma: We can ship historical figures

Oikawa: You’re scary

Kenma: We cna ship HISTORICAL FIGUERS HAHA

Kuroo: Are you okay?

Kenma: YES BUT IW AS reading fanfiction and I stumbled across a HAMILTON FIC HAH

Kenma: I didn’t know that was allowed

Sugawara: Woah thats so

Sugawara: AHAHAH HOW IS THAT ALLOWED HOW DO YOU HAVE HAMILTON SHIPS

Akaashi: Why were you reading fanfiction?

Oikawa: Wait who would you even ship from Hamilton? Like?? Alexander Hamilton and Aaron Burr?

Sugawara: Enemies to friends to lovers 😳🤩

Oikawa: High School au where Hamilton is a jock and Aaron Burr is in like, the art club

Kenma: High school au where they meet in detention omg

Sugawara: THE FACT THAT THESE ARE HISTORICAL PEOPLE HAAHA

Kenma: RIGHT ITS SO FUNNY

Oikawa: WHO DOES THIS

Akaashi: Why were you reading fanfiction?

Kenma: Don’t ask me that

Sugawara: I ship Eliza with Maria Reynolds 😤🥵

Oikawa: Schuyler flower shop and Maria works at a tattoo shop across the street

Kuroo: I ship me and Daichi 🥵

Sugawara: I’ll kick your ass 

Kuroo: Yui and Daichi 🥰

Sugawara: You’re dead

Daichi: Why Kuroo

Nishinoya: I ship me and Tanaka 😎😽

Tanaka: I ship us too 🥴😎

Bokuto: Akaashi, do you ship us?

Akaashi: Sometimes

Bokuto: AKAASHI

Akaashi: I was joking

Akaashi: Of course I ship us

 

-

 

Hinata: I’m out of lip balm

Hinata: So my mom gave me lip oil

Hinata: And I look like I’m wearing lip gloss 😧

Kageyama: Sounds cute

  Hinata: you sound cute

Kageyama: You’re cuter

Hinata: No you are

Kageyama: You’re the cutest!

Hinata: I’ve never seen anyone cuter than you!

Kageyama: Idiot, then you haven’t looked in the mirror

Hinata: YOU’RE THE IDIOT

Kageyama: YOU ARE, DUMBASS

Oikawa: omg why is this always happening

Oikawa: you are both such freaks

Iwaizumi: Leave them alone

Oikawa: Leave me alone

Iwaizumi: You’re joking right?

Oikawa: No, we aren’t talking today

Kageyama: What even happened?

Oikawa: Nothing

Iwaizumi: Oikawa is mad because Matsukawa and I went out for lunch

Oikawa: I wasn’t invited!

Iwaizumi: You had to take Takeru to his dentist appointment

Oikawa: Then next time reschedule so I can go too!

Iwaizumi: We can go out again tomorrow if you want

Oikawa: No!

Iwaizumi: You’re being so dumb. I’m trying to fix it but you aren’t letting me

Oikawa: I just want to be invited next time

Iwaizumi: We invited you and you said you couldn’t come

Oikawa: Then cancel and then plan for a day I can go too

Iwaizumi: You’re ridiculous

Oikawa: I’m sad and you aren’t here

Iwaizumi: You’re so stupid.

Iwaizumi: Tell me next time instead of starting dumb arguments

Iwaizumi: I’m omw to your place ❤️

Oikawa: 💘🥺

Chapter Text

Suzu and Asahi Suzu and Asahi

Asahi: attached image

Asahi: Nishinoya ‘i hate Suzu’ Yuu

Asahi: He’s been holding her in his lap all night!

Kenma: SUZU SUZU SUZU SUZU SUZU 

Kenma: KURO

Kuroo: No. 

Kenma has left the chat

Sugawara: Bye I guess

Nishinoya: DON’T EXPOSE ME

Nishinoya: I don’t need to LIKE her to hold her

Asahi: Every time she tries to escape you hold onto her tighter!

Nishinoya: It’s a challenge! It doesn’t mean anything!

Asahi: Just admit you love her!

Nishinoya: I refuse to lie!!!

Nishinoya: She’s been so grumpy lately, I’m just trying to make her nicer!

Nishinoya: Which I think is your fault asahi! You’re feeding her too much!

Asahi: How is that making her mean?!

Nishinoya: Anyone would be mean if they were gaining that much weight!

Asahi: She’s a cat!! It’s not a big deal to her!

Nishinoya: You don’t know that!

Oikawa: Why is it that big of a deal

Oikawa: Why are you two so dramatic?

Iwaizumi: Says you.

Oikawa: Iwa-chan what is that supposed to mean??!??!?!

Iwaizumi: I think you know

Oikawa: I think you want me to die

Iwaizumi: I don’t

Oikawa: You do

Iwaizumi: Whatever

Oikawa: SO YOU DO

Oikawa: Where’s Kenma? He wouldn’t treat me like this

Kuroo: Yes he would, and you know it

Oikawa has added Kenma to the chat

Oikawa: KENMA!!

Oikawa: You’re back I missed you so much!

Akaashi: Welcome back Kenma lol

Kenma: Hello Akaashiiiiiii

Akaashi: Hi

Oikawa: Wow. Okay.

Oikawa changed the group name to Everyone Hates Me!:)

Kageyama: Why didn’t you give him a nose?

Oikawa: Because it reminds me of you

Oikawa: And I want to break it’s nose

Iwaizumi: Pretty big words coming from someone who doesn’t know when and when not to use an apostrophe for its. 

Oikawa: HAJIME JUST SAY YOU WANT ME DEAD

Oikawa: It’s okay if you hate me.

Oikawa: I can take it. Just say you hate me. Say I’m holding you back from achieving actual happiness

Sugawara: Um

Iwaizumi: Why are you being like this?

Iwaizumi: Did something happen today?

Oikawa: No.

Iwaizumi: Oikawa.

Oikawa: OKAY I HAD A BAD DAY AND SPILT COFFEE ON MYSELF BEFORE CLASS BUT COULDN’T CHANGE MY CLOTHES SO I JUST SMELT LIKE COFFEE AND THEN I WAS LATE SO I HAD TO SIT IN THE FRONT SMELLING LIKE COFEE

Oikawa: AND THEN I TRIPPED WALKING HOME AND SCRAPED MY KNEE SO NOW MY PANTS HAVE BLOOD AND COFFEE ON THEM

Kuroo: I’m sure you can turn that into a really bad smutty fanfiction 

Kuroo: blood and coffee

Oikawa: STOP I’M IN PAIN AND I CAN’T STOP CRYING

Iwaizumi: I’ll be over in ten minutes 

Oikawa: Iwa-channnnn (ノ﹏ヽ)

-

Everyone Hates Me!:)

Hinata: Hey, guys.

Hinata: I have an issue.

Daichi: What’s your issue?

Hinata: Kageyama and I are arguing, and I want you all to agree with me.

Hinata: Because I’m mad and I’m right.

Sugawara: Oikawa he’s your son I think you should deal with this.

Oikawa: No thanks, I don’t want to be involved in whatever this is.

Kuroo: That sounds uncharacteristically mature

Oikawa: Shut up

Akaashi: What happened?

Kageyama: Shouyou I think you should get some sleep before you get angry about this again.

Sugawara: What

Sugawara: Hinata are you not sleeping again

Hinata: It’s not my fault that I can’t fall asleep!

Kenma: How long has it been?

Hinata: Not long

Kageyama: Three days

Kenma: Shouyou wtf

Hinata: Stupid Kageyama

Hinata: It’s not my fault!!!

Hinata: BUT ANYWAYS.

Hinata: Back to WHAT I WAS SAYING

Hinata: Kageyama’s hanging out with someone today!

Daichi: So?

Hinata: They used to date!!!!!

Daichi: ...So?

Hinata: So I don’t like it!!

Oikawa: Lol stop being jealous

Hinata: No!!!

Oikawa: Tobio I didn’t know you had exes 

Hinata: IT’S HIS ONLY ONE

Hinata: HIS FIRST LOVE

Hinata: I DON’T LIKE IT

Daichi: There’s nothing wrong with still talking to your first love, Hinata

Hinata: How would you know!

Kenma: lolololol

Kuroo: Daichi and I dated for like two years in high school

Hinata: What

Sugawara: Ew why would you bring that up

Oikawa: What

Daichi: Yeah. And there’s nothing wrong with us still being friends!

Daichi: We just

Sugawara: Fell out of love

Daichi: Yes

Daichi: And we both realized that we were in love with someone else

Kuroo: No hard feelings involved! I was happy with Daichi but we’re both happier now! And it’s fine

Hinata: wtf

Hinata: i still don’t care though! I still don’t like it!

Sugawara: Omg

Kenma: Tired grumpy shouyou is irrational

Oikawa: Who is this ex?

Hinata: MIYA ATSUMU

Oikawa: Oh?

Iwaizumi: Oikawa, don’t.

Oikawa: The world would be a better place without the Miya twins. 

Sugawara: Twins?

Oikawa: Yes. 

Oikawa: I only hated one of them before but this just proves it! 

Oikawa: Miya Atsumu is after Tobio’s heart and I won’t let him have it! Tobio you can’t go!

Kageyama: I’m going. It’s not a big deal

Hinata: attached image

Kenma: Why did you just send a picture of you crying?

Kenma: Shouyou you’re so embarrassing.

Oikawa: Tobio where are you going with him? 

Kageyama: It doesn’t matter

Oikawa: It does! The Miya twins are hell sent and I want to get rid of them

Iwaizumi: Calm down

Sugawara: Why do you hate them?

Oikawa: Oh?

Oikawa: Would you care to tell them Hajime?

Iwaizumi: You’re so shitty

Iwaizumi: I dated one of them

Iwaizumi: Osamu

Iwaizumi: He was my first everything 

Oikawa: EXCEPT KISS. BECAUSE YOU HATE ME THAT MUCH

Oikawa: YOU HATE ME SO MUCH THAT YOU GAVE YOUR FIRST KISS TO TOBIO AND YOUR FIRST EVERYTHING ELSE TO FUCKING OSAMU

Iwaizumi: It was literally forever ago!

Iwaizumi: I haven’t talked to him in years!

Oikawa: You cheated on me with osamu

Iwaizumi: We dated three years before you and I started dating!

Oikawa: IN MY HEART YOU CHEATED ON ME

Hinata: TOORU YOU UNDERSTAND ME

Oikawa: I DO

Kageyama: I think you need to sleep shouyou 

Hinata: I told you I already tried

Kageyama: Try harder

Hinata: Don’t be an idiot

Kageyama: You’re an idiot

Hinata: YOU’RE an idiot

Kageyama: Ugh.

Kageyama: I’m cancelling on Atsumu. I’m coming over and we’re taking a nap

Hinata: 💗💓💞💕💖💘💝🦋🦋🦋🦋

Kageyama: I don’t know what that means

 

-

 

Kageyama: Hinata is sleeping!!

Sugawara: YAY!!!!!

 

-

 

Asahi: Um…

Nishinoya: I’m so pissed off

Sugawara: Why?

Daichi: what… happened?

Daichi: I’m worried

Nishinoya: Suzu wasn’t fucking getting fat

Oikawa: What

Nishinoya: attached image

Kenma: KITTENS?!?!?!??!

Kenma: KITTENS KITTENS KITTENS KITTENS KITTENS KITTENS KITTENS KITTENS KITTENS KITTENS KITTENS KITTENS 

Kenma: KITTENSAJHSDFJASDF

Kuroo: Kenma calm down

Akaashi: Don’t tell him what to do

Kuroo: Why are you here

Kenma: Kuro I want them

Kuroo: No

Sugawara: They’re so cute!

Nishinoya: I don’t want kittens! I didn’t even want a cat!

Asahi: yuu stop they’re so cute

Nishinoya: They aren’t

Yamaguchi: They are

Nishinoya: THEY AREN’T

Kenma: THEY ARE

 

-

 

Asahi: They’re meowing and Yuu is crying

Asahi: lol he keeps being like

Asahi: ‘they’re so cute asahi’

Nishinoya: get out of my apartment 

Chapter Text

 Nishinoya changed the group name to 🤬🤬🤬

Nishinoya: Guess whose day is… 

Nishinoya: HORRIBLE

Nishinoya: HAHA

Iwaizumi: Are you okay?

Nishinoya: I was

Nishinoya: uNTIL THIS GIRL AT STARBUCKS STARTED FLIRTING WITH ASAHI

Nishinoya: THAT MAN IS MY BOYFRIEND

Asahi: Noya

Tanaka: Maybe she would have flirted with you if you didn’t order a frap

Nishinoya: HOW DID YOU KNOW I GOT A FRAP 

Tanka: because you need to grow up HAHHAHAH

Asahi: She wasn’t flirting

Nishinoya: So she wrote her number on your cup to be friends

Nishinoya: SHE WAS FRIRTING

Asahi: I KNOW BUT I WAS UNCOMFORTABLE

Tanaka: You’re both so

Tanaka: Stupid?

Nishinoya: YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN HER. SHE KEPT GIGGLING LIKE EW SORRY ONLY I CAN LAUGH AT ASAHI’S NERVOUSNESS 

Asahi: Please calm down and don’t remind me about what happened

Nishinoya: ITS BURNED IN MY BRAIN

Asahi: That was horrible we’re never going to that Starbucks again I’m so scared

Tanaka: why are you scared

Tanaka: she didn’t know you guys were together

Tanaka: In her eyes it was harmless flirting

Asahi: So so scared

 

-

 

Sugawara: attached image

Sugawara: Art

Sugawara: I created art

Oikawa: Is that life sized?

Sugawara: yes

Kageyama: What are you gonna do with a cutout of Daichi

Sugawara: look at it, love it. Make funny videos and take funny pictures

Kuroo: I want one of Kenma

Kenma: fuck off

Kuroo: I’m obsessed with you please kenma

Kenma: no

Sugawara: I had a dream that it was Lin Manuel Miranda so I have to check on it every now and then to make sure it’s Daichi

Oikawa: You’re insane. Who dreams about that?

Akaashi: Once I had a dream that I was dating Bokuto’s dad.

Akaashi: Bokuto didn’t let me go over to his house for two weeks.

Bokuto: That was a horrible dream and I still haven’t forgiven my dad

Akaashi: You’re dramatic💕

Bokuto: MARRY ME

 

-

 

Sugawara: DAICHI MOVED HIM TO THE CLOSET

Sugawara: HE MOVED CARDBOARD DAICHI TO THE CLOSET

Daichi: It was kinda creepy

Sugawara: HE’S NOT CREEPY

Sugawara: he’s hot

Daichi: HE’S ME

Sugawara: EXACTLY HE’S HOT

Daichi: I EXIST WHY DO YOU NEED HIM

Sugawara: BECAUSE YOU NEVER SEND ME NUDES

Daichi: what

Kuroo: HAHHA DAICHI STILL DOESN’T SEND NUDES

Daichi: stop stop please

Daichi: it’s so awkward like, I don’t know how to make them look good

Daichi: ALSO SUGA

Daichi: WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH MY NUDES IM FULLY CLOTHED IN THAT

Sugawara: I’ll take what I can get. Like Daichi in a suit 🤤🤤🤤🤤

Daichi: That’s so embarrassing

Sugawara: WAIT DAICHI SHUT UP YOUR NUDES ARE ART

Daichi: THEY AREN’T YOURS ARE

Sugawara: DAICHI I LOVE YOU COME OVER HERE AND WRAP YOUR HANDS AROUND MY NECK

Kuroo: oh?

Hinata: I just got chills

Kageyama: shut up, idiot

Nishinoya: OMGOMG YES DAICHI GO CHOKE SUGA OMG

Kuroo: choking 🥵😍

Iwaizumi: choking 🥵😤

Bokuto: choking 🥵🥰

 

-

 

Oikawa: I’m in love 

Oikawa: So in love

Hinata: we know?

Oikawa: So so so in love

Oikawa: IWA-CHAN CAME OVER AFTER WORK RANDOMLY

Oikawa: HE SAID HE MISSED ME AND JUST WANTED TO TAKE A NAP WITH ME

Oikawa: NOW WE’RE JUST LAYING ON THE COUCH AND HES SLEEPING

Oikawa: HES SO CUTE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

Kuroo: CUTE SO CUTE

Oikawa: He’s so cute I can’t stop kissing his handsome face🥺🥺🥺

Hinata: forehead kisses forehead kisses

Yamaguchi: forehead kisses forehead kisses

Hinata: I want forehead kisses but Kageyama is in the shower

Oikawa: get those forehead kisses

Kenma: Get those forehead kisses!!!!!

Yamaguchi: demand those forehead kisses!!!!

Hinata: I will😤😤😤

Hinata: I’m not leaving this bed until I get 2 AT LEAST

Oikawa: 10 AT LEAST

Kenma: 47 AT LEAST

Kageyama: Why is my phone blowing up

Hinata: GET OUT HERE AND KISS MY FOREHEAD 76 TIMES

Kageyama: That’s so many kisses

Kenma: THATS NOT ENOUGH KISSES

Hinata: THATS NOT ENOUGH KISSES COME OUT HERE SO I CAN DRY YOUR HAIR WHILE YOU KISS MY FOREHEAD

Kageyama: okay calm down I need to put clothes on

Hinata: Okay!!

Kenma: No you don’t

Nishinoya: No you don’t

Hinata: He does

Oikawa: He doesn’t 

Kageyama: I HAVE TO

Sugawara: You don’t 

Daichi: Suga…

 

-

 

Hinata: Forehead kisses forehead kisses

Kenma: YES FOREHEAD KISSES

Hinata: Attached image

Hinata: He fell asleep while I was drying his hair 🥺

Hinata: He’s been so stressed lately with school and volleyball and everything

Kuroo: Sleeping Kageyama sleeping Kageyama

Kuroo: I’m in love with him

Kenma: Then get a cardboard cutout of him

Kuroo: good idea

Hinata: NO

Hinata: If you do, you’re dead to me

Kuroo: Who has a good full body picture of Kageyama

Kuroo: just for fun teehee

Tsukishima: Attached image

Tsukishima: Attached image

Tsukishima: Attached image

Kuroo: TSUKKI THANK YOU

Hinata: TSUKISHIMA WHY

Yamaguchi: LMAOOO TSUKKI

Hinata: I only have enemies here

 

-

 

Bokuto: EVERYONE

Bokuto: Guess what day it almost is!!!!

Kuroo: Go to sleep. It’s late

Bokuto: QUICK GUESS BEFORE I START MY COUNTDOWN

Bokuto: 5

Bokuto: 4

Bokuto: 3

Bokuto: 2

Bokuto: 1

Bokuto: IT’S AKAASHI’S BIRTHDAY!

Bokuto: Happy birthday to the love of my life! The prettiest and most kind and most understanding and most perfect person ever!!!

Bokuto: He’s asleep but he’ll see it soon!

Bokuto: Happy birthday Akaashi!! 💗

Kuroo: Aww, happy birthday!

Kuroo: Now get to bed handsome

Bokuto: lol goodnight

 

-

 

Bokuto: Did everyone say happy birthday?

Daichi: I think so 🙂

Bokuto: Why not in the groupchat?

Akaashi: Bokuto, you’re the only one who sends me a message on everything lol

Akaashi: I appreciate it 💖

Yamaguchi: aw that's sweet

Akaashi: Every message says something different too

Yamaguchi: Tsukki, I want THIS ENERGY

Tsukishima: Maybe

Kenma: What are you doing for your birthday

Akaashi: Bokuto and I are going to visit my family. Nothing too crazy

Kenma: I bought you a gift, so you can come by whenever to get it

Akaashi: Aw, you didn’t have to

Kenma: Accept my love please

Akaashi: Lol if we get home early I’ll call you

Kenma: yesyesyes

Kuroo: calm down

Kenma: I get to see Akaashi I’m so alive right now I’m so excited I’m gonna pee

Oikawa: Don’t pee?

Hinata: How funny would that be

Hinata: Like wouldn’t that just be so weird lol

Hinata: WAIT HAHAH THATS MAKING ME LAUGH SO HARD JUST KENMA SO EXCITED TO SEE AKAASHI THAT HE PEES AHA

Kageyama: Freak

Hinata: Weirdo

Kageyama: Dumbass

Hinata: Idiot

Daichi: shut up

Kageyama: Sorry

Hinata: Sorry



Chapter Text

Oikawa changed the group name to I’m ugly:(

Daichi: What

Sugawara: Why

Kageyama: No you aren’t!

Iwaizumi: No, you aren’t

Oikawa: But I am:(

Kageyama: Why do you think that?

Oikawa: Idk I can’t stop looking in the mirror

Oikawa: And i feel like i’m at my worst rn

Oikawa: I get uglier and uglier with each passing minute!

Iwaizumi: You’re not ugly, Tooru. What’s wrong?

Oikawa: Idk :(

Oikawa: Nothing

Oikawa: But also everything :(

Sugawara: That’s always the worst

Kenma: True

Akaashi: True

Asahi: True

Kuroo: Damn is everyone in this chat sad???

Akaashi: Sometimes, yes

Kenma: Yeah

Oikawa: yeah :(

Oikawa: Quick question guys

Iwaizumi: I can already tell you that the answer is no

Oikawa: Shut up iwa-chan I’m still gonna ask

Oikawa: Be serious

Oikawa: Am I annoying?? Do I bother you??? Do you guys hate me??

Oikawa: Just asking for science haha

Sugawara: Hmmm.

Sugawara: Well sometimes you’re annoying

Daichi: Suga!

Sugawara: But you never bother me. Even if you’re being annoying, I think it’s funny. And I never think you’re bothering me or anyone else in this chat. 

Sugawara: And I think that it goes without saying that I don’t hate u.

Kageyama: I don’t think you’re annoying at all. So you never bother me. I like to think that we’re friends!

Oikawa: You think we’re friends?

Oikawa: But I’m always mean to you

Kageyama: It’s fine lol

Oikawa: No it’s not :( I’m such a bad person :(((

Iwaizumi: Do you want me to come over?

Oikawa: Yes

 

-

 

Oikawa: attached image 

Oikawa: iwa-chan bought me flowers :( i don’t deserve him

Iwaizumi: Yes you do, idiot.

Sugawara: Yes you do

Daichi: Yes you do

Yamaguchi: Yes you do

Kageyama: Yes you do

Bokuto: YES YOU DO

 

-

 

Asahi : can cats drink coffee?

Daichi : idk

Sugawara : asahi none of us beside you and noya own a cat

Asahi : well!! Idk!!! Maybe you’d know!

Oikawa : why would we have random cat knowledge 

Asahi: IDK LEAVE ME ALONE

Akaashi : no, cats can’t have coffee.

Akaashi: it’s really dangerous for them

Asahi: thank you Akaashi

Akaashi: no problem.

Kuroo: why are you asking?

Kenma: HAVE YOU BEEN GIVING MY SUZU COFFEE?

Nishinoya: YOUR suzu???

Kenma: yes. Mine

Nishinoya: I think you mean MINE

Asahi: noya has coffee and suzu keeps trying to drink it

Nishinoya : OBVIOUSLY I didn’t know cats couldn’t have coffee or I wouldn’t have even left it anywhere she can reach it

Kenma: if u kill my suzu i'll never forgive you

Nishinoya: do you mean MY suzu?

Oikawa: oh my god

Oikawa: stop

Daichi: this is big talk for someone who doesn’t like their cat noya

Nishinoya: shut the fuck up daichi

Daichi: Excuse me?

Nishinoya: I’M SORRY

Tanaka: Lol Dad Daichi

Sugawara: More like daddy daichi 🥵

Sugawara: Daddy come over

Sugawara: haha oops i meant *daichi

Oikawa: No you didn’t

Kuroo: No you didn’t

Sugawara: No I didn’t

Daichi: God

 

-

 

Asahi: attached image

Asahi: YUU GOT SUZU A HAT

Kenma: CAT HAT CAT HAT

Kenma: CAT 

Kenma: HAT

Kenma: KURO PLEASE I WANT A CAT I WANT A CAT I WANT A CAT IN A CAT HAT

Kenma: I WANT

Kenma: A MILLION

Sugawara: SUZU SUZU IS SO CUTE SUZU SUZU 

Sugawara: Daichi let’s get a cat ❤️

Daichi: Okay!

Kenma: NOT FAIR NOT FAIR KURO NOT FAIR NOT FAIR

Kuroo: I’m beginning to think you guys do this shit on purpose.

Sugawara: 😋

 

-

 

Hinata and Kenma:

Hinata: kenma i need your expertise 

Kenma: How do you even know that word

Hinata: wym you don’t even know how to spell

Kenma: rude.

Kenma: what do you need?

Kenma: I’m busy right now

Hinata: doing what?

Kenma: Kuro

Hinata: WHAT

Kenma: Joking

Hinata: That wasn’t funny

Kenma: Yes it was, your brain just isn’t complex enough to see the humor in it ✨

Hinata: I hate you kenma

Kenma: Yeah, yeah

Kenma: what do you need help with?

 

-

 

Nishinoya and Hinata:

Nishinoya: shouyou 

Nishinoya: shouyou

Nishinoya: shouyou why aren’t you answering me

Hinata: so i was watching one of kageyama’s matches right

Nishinoya: ..right??

Hinata: and I REALIZED 

Hinata: that he’s really HOT

Hinata: and OBVIOUSLY I ALREADY KNEW THAT

Hinata: I JUST DON’T TALK ABOUT IT BECAUSE IT’S EMBARRASSING

Hinata: BUT ANYWAY I WAS WATCHING AND IDK HE SPIKED AND I WAS LIKE OMG

Hinata: and anyway i wanna DO IT

Hinata: KENMA HELP

Nishinoya: I’m not kenma LMFAOOOO

Nishinoya: BUT YES MY VIRGIN SHOUYOU FINALLY 😍 FINALLY 🥰

Hinata Shouyou has blocked Nishinoya Yuu

 

-

 

Hinata and Kenma

Kenma: Shouyou???

Kenma: Did you die

Kenma: You better hurry up, Kuro’s getting restless….

Kenma: HE’S KISSING MY NECK SHOUYOU I’M NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO STOP HIM SOON

Kenma: I’M NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO CONCENTRATE ON YOU AND YOUR STUPID PROBLEMS SOON..

Hinata: KENMA I’M SO EMBARRASSED

Kenma: Calm down I’m joking

Kenma: Kind of

Hinata: NO NO NO

Hinata: attached image

Hinata: attached image

Hinata: I MEANT TO SEND THIS TO YOU

Hinata: BUT NOYA KEPT BLOWING UP MY PHONE AND I ACCIDENTALLY CLICKED ON HIS NAME

Kenma: oh my god

Kenma: oh my god oh my god

Kenma: I can’t stop laughing

Kenma: oh my god shouyou you’re so embarrassing

Kenma: I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING

Kenma: KURO’S LAUGHIGN AT YOU

Kenma: i think he’s laughing so much that he isn’t even hard anymore 😎😎

Hinata: KENMA STOP

Kenma: JOKING HAHAHA

Hinata: STOP DOING THAT

Kenma: No

Kenma: It embarrasses um

Kenma: what did he call u

Kenma: lol

Kenma: it embarrasses my virgin shouyou 

Hinata: I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATEYOU

Kenma: AHAHAHAHA

 

-

 

I’m Ugly :(

Nishinoya changed the group name to Kageyama FUCKS

Sugawara: WHAT

Sugawara: FINALLY

Bokuto: YES

Kenma: AHAHAHAHAHA

Hinata: STOP

Hinata has removed Kageyama from the chat

Tsukishima: wow

Tsukishima: what’s going on?

Tsukishima: I know for a fact Kageyama hasn’t fucked hinata yet

Hinata: TSUKISHIMA WTF

Hinata: DON’T JUST SAY THAT

Tsukishima: Lol

Nishinoya: attached image

Nishinoya: attached image

Asahi: Noya why lol

Nishinoya: I’m a matchmaker!

Nishinoya: our dear shouyou needs advice!

Kenma: I already gave him advice!

Hinata: Actually you just laughed at me

Tsukishima: Oh my god

Oikawa: I don’t want to be apart of this

Oikawa: I’m so embarrassed right now

Kuroo: Just tell him!

Hinata: How?

Kuroo: Lol just say 

Kuroo: Kageyama, you’re sexy as fuck and I’ve wanted you to fuck my brains out since the moment I saw you 😍

Sugawara: That sounds a little personal Kuroo

Sugawara: Are you sure that isn’t something you want to tell him yourself?

Kuroo: It sure is 😍

Kenma: You want to get fucked?

Kenma: Lol

Kuroo: wait no wait no

Kenma: I mean I’ve never done it before but I can try

Kuroo: WAIT NO WAIT NO

Sugawara: AHAHAH

Hinata: I HATE ALL OF YOU

Sugawara: Just tell him! Don’t be as upfront as Kuroo but maybe just say you want to take your relationship to the next level

Sugawara: And make sure you do your research

Sugawara: And have the proper supplies you need 

Kuroo: sugawara i think my neck is going to snap bc of how hard i’m cringing at you

Sugawara: i’m telling him what he needs to hear!

Kuroo: you sound like a parent giving the talk

Sugawara: I don’t!

Akaashi: You do.

Akaashi: Hinata, if you want to take your relationship to that level then go for it. But don’t try to force it. It’ll happen when it happens, you know? And there are other ways to be sexually active without actually fully having sex.

Akaashi: Like oral sex, or like.. Hand jobs lol

Kuroo: That makes no sense at all

Bokuto: Yes it does!

Daichi: No it doesn’t

Hinata: Hmmm. I think I get it. Thanks Akaashi!

Tsukishima: wow

Hinata: I’m gonna meet up with him after his match!

Oikawa: EWEWEWEWEW

Oikawa: I DON’T WANT TO KNOW THIS

Oikawa: I’M DISGUSTED 

Oikawa: I’M THROWING UP AS WE SPEAK





Chapter Text

Kageyama FUCKS 

Oikawa : I’m so tired

Oikawa: I’m so tired I’m so tired 

Oikawa: Why am I so tired? What did I do to deserve this?

Oikawa: I guess everyone hates me

Oikawa: So no one is gonna ask why I’m tired?

Oikawa: I’m so tired I’m so tired I’m so tired 

Iwaizumi: Shut up Oikawa

Oikawa: I’m so tired that I have a headache 

Oikawa: My entire head hurts

Oikawa: And my brain is going to explode 

Oikawa: And my Iwa-chan doesn’t even care 💔

Iwaizumi: Shut up

Oikawa: you’re not going to ask why I’m tired???

Iwaizumi: I already know why you’re tired.

Oikawa: YOU DON’T CARE ABOUT ME

Iwaizumi: Don’t say that

Oikawa: I’ll say it because it’s true! 

Sugawara: Oh my god Oikawa shut up

Oikawa: NO ONE!

Oikawa: NO ONE CARES ABOUT ME!

Kenma: TOORU. It is 8am. WHY ARE YOU BLOWING UP MY PHONE AT 8AM?

Kuroo: Oh god you pissed him off

Kuroo: He’s so grumpy 

Kuroo: He won’t stop grumbling

Kuroo: attached image

Kuroo: Look at this blanket burrito 

Kenma : I’ll kill you 

Kuroo: Cutieeee

Kenma: I’ll kill you

Kuroo: You are so cute my knees are weak my stomach is 🦋✨🦋✨🦋

Kenma: I want you dead

Kuroo: I’m So In Love With You

Kageyama: Why are you tired Oikawa?

Oikawa: THANK YOU TOBIO

Oikawa: My only friend

Oikawa: the ONLY person in this chat that cares about me

Sugawara: Yeah yeah

Oikawa: I ONLY GOT THREE HOURS OF SLEEP

Oikawa: MY SISTER CAME OVER AND BARGED INTO MY APARTMENT

Oikawa: AND WOKE ME UP

Iwaizumi: I only got three hours of sleep but you don’t hear me complaining

Iwaizumi: AND I got embarrassed in front of your sister

Oikawa: Idk what you want from me Iwa-chan

Oikawa: Don’t sleep naked next time maybe??

Iwaizumi: YOU DID THE SAME THING

Oikawa: WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME

Iwaizumi: I hate you

Iwaizumi: You’re so shitty

Oikawa: MY BRAIN IS GOING TO EXPLODE FROM BEING SO TIRED AND YOU’RE CALLING ME SHITTY??

Kenma: Tooru send another text to the groupchat I dare you

Kenma: Yeah that’s what I thought

Kenma: I’m going back to sleep. No one better message the chat today or ELSE

 

-

 

Kageyama: just found something

Kageyama: attached image 

Kenma : lol shouyou I forgot you had braces 

Hinata: SHUT UP SHUT UP

Oikawa: HAHA BRACEFACE BRACEFACE

Hinata : SHUT UP SHUT UP

Kageyama : Stop 

Sugawara: Awwww Hinata you looked like such a dweeb lol

Nishinoya: HAHAHAHAHA A DWEEB

Kageyama: I think he looked cute

Kenma: He didn’t

Kageyama: Stop! He’s cute

Oikawa: Tobio don’t be in love like that in front of me

Iwaizumi: You’re always in love in front of him though

Oikawa: Yeah but I’m allowed to

Iwaizumi: You’re stupid

Oikawa: Mean Iwa-chan

Hinata: KAGEYAMA YOU THINK I LOOKED CUTE?

Kageyama: Yes!

Hinata: I hated how I looked with braces

Kageyama: They’re cute!

Hinata: I think you’re cute 

Oikawa: Ew you two, don’t do this

Kageyama : I think you’re cuter

Daichi: Stop

Kenma: How dare you tell them to stop

Hinata : Well you’re the cutest 

Kageyama: No I’m not, idiot

Hinata : You are, dimbass 

Oikawa : Dimbass?

Kenma: Dimbass.

Oikawa: Are you okay? Okaying me kenma????

Kenma: What the fuck

Kenma: Why did you think about that

Oikawa: My mind is an enigma ✨

Iwaizumi: Or you just watched the fault in our stars last night and it’s on your mind

Oikawa: Shut up Iwa-chan

Iwaizumi: Or you just watched the fault in our stars last night and cried on me 

Oikawa: IWA-CHAN

Iwaizumi: You cried you cried you cried

Oikawa: STOP

Kenma: Imagine crying to the fault in our stars

Tsukishima: Yamaguchi doesn’t have to imagine that

Yamaguchi: STOP

Kenma: AHAHAHA

Oikawa: Shouyou remember when you used to write fanfiction for the fault in our stars on wattpad?

Akaashi: WHAT

Hinata: SHUT UP

Kenma: HAHAHAHA

Sugawara: I’ve literally never seen that

Kenma: Good. It’s horrible

Kuroo: Weren’t you like

Kuroo: Overly attracted to the blind guy

Kenma: Let’s not talk about that

Nishinoya: ISAAC

Nishinoya: kuroo isaac has your energy

Kuroo: Does he?

Kenma: Nishinoya shut the fuck up

Kuroo: Good to know

Kenma: NISHINOYA WHY

Nishinoya: I’M A MATCHMAKER IT’S WHAT I DO

 

-

 

Sugawara: Do you ever like

Sugawara: Crave the Phantom of the Opera soundtrack

Nishinoya: No

Kenma: No

Kuroo: Never

Sugawara: So I’m the only one who’s just craving Christine? 😔

Oikawa: Whom

Sugawara: You know

Sugawara: can it be

Sugawara: can it be CHRISTINE?

Daichi: Suga stop

Sugawara: BRAVO!

Sugawara: LONG AGO

Sugawara: IT SEEMS SO LONG AGO

Daichi: Suga

Sugawara: HOW YOUNG AND INNOCENT WE WERE

Sugawara: SHE MAY NOT REMEMBER ME

Sugawara: BUT I REMEMBER HER

Daichi: Koushi stop.

Sugawara: Oh

Sugawara: Daichi wanna come over?? 😋  

Nishinoya: Suga what is this energy

Oikawa: HOW DID THAT MAKE YOU HORNY LOL

Kuroo: I think everything makes him horny

Akaashi: Like you can talk

Kuroo: EXCUSE ME

Hinata: SPEAKING OF!

Kageyama: Shut up

Hinata: GUESS WHAT 

Nishinoya: YES

Nishinoya: YES SHOUYOU YES YES 

Kageyama removed Hinata from the chat

Sugawara: BOO

Kageyama: You guys don’t need to hear about it

Oikawa: You’re right. We don’t



Chapter Text

Kuroo changed the group name to This is the best day of my life

Sugawara: OoOo sounds exciting

Kuroo: Very exciting!

Oikawa: Well???

Kuroo: ..well????

Oikawa: WHAT HAPPENED YOU IDIOT 

Kuroo: Oh!

Kuroo: KENMA LISTEN UP

Kenma: Yes?

Kuroo: LEV WENT ON A DATE!

Hinata: OMG WITH WHO??

Kenma: wtf

Kenma: Lev doesn’t have game

Kenma: I would know

Kuroo: YOU WOULD KNOW??

Kenma: Calm down

Kuroo: CALM DOWN???

Bokuto: KUROO SOMEONE WAS TRYING TO TAKE YOUR MAN

Kuroo: I KNOW

Bokuto: AHHHH

Kuroo: AHHHHHH

Akaashi: Would you two stop it?

Kuroo: WHATEVER

Kuroo: Anyway. He went out with Yaku!

Kenma: WTF

Kenma: Lmao

Kenma: lmao lmao lmao

Kuroo: What?

Kuroo: Are you jealous that your secret lover Lev has a short boyfriend who isn’t you?

Kenma: Shut the fuck up lol

Kenma: Lev makes me sick and you know it

Hinata: I CAN’T BELIEVE LEV GOT A DATE!! I’M SO PROUD

Bokuto: ME TOO!!!

Hinata: YESSS

Bokuto: YESSSS

Hinata: YESSSSS

Bokuto: YESSSS

Sugawara: god shut UP

 

-

 

Hinata and Kenma

Hinata: I HAVE A QUESTION

Kenma: Oh god

Kenma: Ok

Hinata: um

Hinata: howwasyourfirsttimewithkuroo?

Kenma: Why did you type it like that

Kenma: Why are you acting like it’s a big deal

Kenma: You’re being so embarrassing

Hinata: It’s just! I want it to be special!

Kenma: Omg

Kenma: So why are you asking me??

Hinata: IDK MAYBE IT’LL MAKE ME LESS NERVOUS

Kenma: Stop screaming

Kenma: There’s nothing to be nervous about

Kenma: And we had sex the first time during a vacation after graduation. 

Kenma: It was actually really nice

Kenma: Kuro took me to the beach which sucked because it was hot but then he bought me things because I was grumpy and then he took me out to dinner and then we went back to the hotel and lol

Kenma: Yeah

Hinata: THAT’S CUTE

Hinata: I CAN’T LIVE UP TO THAT

Kenma: ??? you don’t have to

Hinata: BYE

Kenma: Bye?? Fucking freak

 

-

 

Oikawa and Hinata

Hinata: TOORU

Hinata: I HAVE A QUESTION

Oikawa: What do you want?

Hinata: ummmm um um um

Hinata: how did you and um

Hinata: how did your first time with Iwaizumi go?

Oikawa:

Oikawa: Why are you asking me this?

Hinata: idk! 

Hinata: i’m just! NERVOUS! 

Hinata: I want to make my first time with Kageyama special 

Oikawa: Are you in the market for ideas or something, u idiot? I still don’t get it

Hinata: NO WTF

Hinata: idk i’m just

Hinata: Asking??

Hinata: I’M NERVOUS OK

Oikawa: Whatever

Oikawa: We won a volleyball game and then fucked in his car 

Hinata: Are you serious

Hinata: Ew

Oikawa: Don’t ew us it was romantic

Hinata: Bye

Oikawa: Whatever

 

-

 

This is the best day of my life

Oikawa: Just letting you guys know

Oikawa: Shouyou is on a rampage today

Oikawa: a weird, sex story seeking rampage

Oikawa: So don’t answer him unless you feel like oversharing

Nishinoya: LMAO SHOUYOU MESSAGE ME MESSAGE ME

Asahi: Oh god

Bokuto: YESS

 

-

 

Daichi and Hinata:

Hinata: Daichi

Hinata: I have a question

Daichi: No. Ask Sugawara

Hinata: Suga’s scary

Daichi: Lol

Daichi: That’s fair

Daichi: But the answer is still no.

Hinata: UGH

 

--

 

This is the best day of my life

Tanaka: Guys I’m scared

Nishinoya: What’s wrong bby

Tanaka: So I’ve been hooking up with this girl right

Bokuto: OOOOOOOO

Nishinoya: YES TANAKA

Nishinoya changed the group name to Tanaka FUCKS

Tanaka: YES BUT I’M SCARED

Daichi: Why?

Tanaka: SO THIS GIRL RIGHT

Tanaka: I was with her the other night and she was talking to me and she was like

Tanaka: ‘omg ryu my friend is so interested in u we should have a threeway’

Tanaka: AND BEFORE I COULD EVEN RESPOND HER ROOMMATE GOES 

Tanaka: ‘omg we should have a FOURWAY’

Tanaka: IS THAT A THING???

Tanaka: I’M SO SCARED

Tanaka: I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY

Tanaka: I PRETENDED ASAHI BROKE HIS LEG AND SAID I HAD TO LEAVE

Nishinoya: AHAHAHA WHAT

Tanaka: I PANICKED

Nishinoya: WHY WAS THAT YOUR GO-TO PANIC LIE

Tanaka: IDK BUT IT HAPPENED

Nishinoya: but DO IT RYU DO IT DO IT

Tanaka: NO NO NO NO

Kenma: Akaashi do you remember when Kuro and Bokuto were freaks about that

Tanaka: WHAT

Akaashi: Don’t remind me

Kuroo: Stop we thought it would be funny

Akaashi: What about us all taking a shower together even sounds remotely funny

Kenma: Idiots. Idiots idiots idiots 

Kuroo: WE SAW IT ON A TV SHOW AND THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY

Bokuto: IT WAS FUNNY IN THE SHOW

Kenma: THAT DOESN’T MEAN IT’LL BE FUNNY IN REAL LIFE??? FREAKS

Oikawa: You guys scare me 

Oikawa: Like

Oikawa: A lot

 

-

 

Kuroo: LEV WENT ON A DATE

Oikawa: we know

Kuroo: AND HE’S STILL CALLING KENMA CUTE???

Kuroo: I’M GOING TO KILL HIM

Daichi: Lol 

Daichi: Lev going on a date isn’t going to make him stop thinking Kenma is cute

Kuroo: BUT DOES HE NEED TO SAY IT?? TO MY FACE??

Kenma: Lev said to ur face that i’m cute?? I’m going to be SICK

Kuroo: Ok...No. But he and Yaku are talking about it near me

Kuroo: and i OVERHEARD

Kuroo: They just kissed?

Kuroo: SO WHY ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT MY KENMA MOVE ON

Sugawara: ‘my kenma’ how cute

Akaashi: Ikr

Kuroo: LEV JUST CONFIRMED HE HAD A CRUSH ON YOU

Kuroo: HE JUST SAID IT

Kuroo: I HAD A HUGE CRUSH ON KENMA JUST CAME OUT OF HIS MOUTH

Kuroo: I’M GONNA LIGHT HIM ON FIRE

Bokuto: I’LL COME WITH

Daichi: Calm down

Kenma: Lev said that???

Kenma: I’m gagging

Kuroo: Wait without me? 😳🤚🏻

Oikawa: wtf

Sugawara: AHAHAHAHA



Chapter Text

Tanaka FUCKS

 

Oikawa: Koushi, Iwa-chan just did the rudest thing!

Akaashi: Group chat

Oikawa: I HAD TO WALK HOME FROM YOUR APARTMENT RIGHT

Oikawa: AND I WAS FREEZING

Oikawa: LITERALLY SO COLD

Kuroo: Group chat

Oikawa: AND I CAME IN AND HE WAS LIKE HALF ASLEEP ON MY COUCH

Oikawa: AND I WAS SO EXCITED THAT HE WAS THERE AND I WENT UP TO HIM AND WAS LIKE

Oikawa: IWA-CHAN I’M FREEZING CAN YOU WARM ME UP

Oikawa: AND HE GOES 

Oikawa: NO JUST GO TAKE A HOT SHOWER

Oikawa: EXCUSE ME?

Oikawa: SO I WAS LIKE NO. LIKE. FUCK ME AND WARM ME UP

Oikawa: BECAUSE I HAVEN’T SEEN HIM ALL DAY 

Oikawa: AND HE JUST SAID NO BECAUSE HE WAS WATCHING TV

Oikawa: ACTUALLY SIR YOU WERE FALLING ASLEEP

Oikawa: AND ALL I WANTED WAS TO GET RAILED TO STITCHES 

Oikawa: BUT WHATEVER

Oikawa: UGH UGH UGH UGH

Iwaizumi: Yeah so go take a shower and warm up now that you’ve told the groupchat your problems

Nishinoya: GET RAILED TO STITCHES

Nishinoya: I CAN’T BREATHE

Nishinoya: IWAIZUMI WHY WOULD YOU DENY THIS MAN

Oikawa: I’m so embarrassed 

Oikawa: I don’t look at chats when I’m typing

Kenma: Yes you do

Kenma: You just don’t pay attention to stuff like that when you’re throwing a fit

Oikawa: Don’t say I was throwing a fit! You have no proof!

Kenma: I can literally just scroll up

Kuroo: OIKAWA GETS HORNY??? 

Kuroo: LET ME REPHRASE THAT

Kuroo: OIKAWA WANTS TO GET RAILED TO STITCHES????

Sugawara: Daichi come rail me to stitches

Nishinoya: Asahi come rail me to stitches

Oikawa: SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

Nishinoya: HORNY OIKAWA HORNY OIKAWA

Oikawa: EW STOP

Tanaka: HORNY OIKAWA HORNY OIKAWA

Oikawa has left the chat

Iwaizumi: Lol

Iwaizumi: I’m gonna go get in the shower

Nishinoya: YESSS IWAIZUMI

Nishinoya changed the group name to Iwa-chan FUCKS

 

-

 

Iwa-chan FUCKS

Kuroo: Kenma just cried to the stay alive reprise on the hamilton soundtrack??

Oikawa: HAHAHAH

Oikawa: wait ew guys wtf

Oikawa changed the group name to Kenma is a crybaby

Kenma: WHY ARE YOU ATTACKING ME

Kuroo: BECAUSE WHO CRIES TO THAT SONG

Kenma: IDK I JUST

Kenma: JUST SAY YOU DON’T LOVE ME ANYMORE KURO

Kuroo: SHUT UP

Kenma: I CAN HANDLE IT

Kuroo: No you can’t you literally can’t breathe rn

Kenma: BECAUSE IT’S QUIET UPSTOWN IS PALYOING

Sugawara: You sound like Oikawa lol

Oikawa: Actually, bitch, I’d never willingly listen to Hamilton.

Iwaizumi: Oikawa you literally have that entire soundtrack memorized.

Oikawa: Why would you tell them that?

Kageyama: We already know??

Nishinoya: If you see him in the street walking by himself talking to himself have pity 💔

Kageyama: Philip you would like it uptown it’s quiet uptown…

Kenma: STOP

Kenma: IT’S SO SAD

Kenma: HE JUST TOLD HIS SON THAT HE WOULDN’T DIE

Kenma: AND THEN HE DID

Kenma: HE WAS SO YOUNG

Kenma: SO FULL OF LIFE

Kenma: HE WAS SO EXCITED ABOUT EVERTYTHING

KENMA: MY NME IS PHILIP I AM  AP OET AND I’M A LITTLE NERVOUS BUT I CNA’T SHOW TI

Kenma: AND THEN HE FUCKING DIES

Kenma: I CNA’T BREATHE I’M SPO SAD

Nishinoya: KENMA SHUT UP HAHAHA

Kuroo: God why are you like this

Kenma: YOU DON’T LOVE ME

Kuroo: STOP LMAO

Akaashi: So no one is paying attention to the fact that Kenma is upset and crying and Kuroo’s just laughing at him?

Akaashi: Not comforting him? Like a good boyfriend should?

Bokuto: UH-OH 

Kuroo: Excuse me

Akaashi: Kenma your boyfriend is horrible.

Akaashi: Run away with me instead.

Kuroo: Don’t touch my boyfriend

Sugawara: Why ARE you not comforting your crying boyfriend Kuroo? 🤔

Kuroo: FUCK OFF I LITERALLY AM

Kuroo: MY T SHIRT IS WET BECAUSE OF HIM

Nishinoya: What kinda wet? ;)

Nishinoya: I know how you could cheer him up ;;;;;)))))

Asahi: Noya stop

Akaashi: Don’t touch my Kenma, Kuroo

Bokuto: YOUR KENMA???

Bokuto: BABY :(

Kuroo: YOUR KENMA?

Kuroo: I THINK YOU MEAN MINE!

Kenma: Awww ew you love me

Kuroo: SO MUCH LITERALLY SO MUCH SO SO SO SO MUCH

Kuroo: MORE THAN AKAASHI 

Kuroo: SO MUCH MORE SO MUCH MORE AND I’LL KISS YOU A MILLION TIMES RIGHT NOW TO PROVE IT

Akaashi: Guess I was right haha

Kenma: Whatever

Akaashi: You owe me coffee 

Daichi: What

Bokuto: A COFFEE DATE???:(

Kuroo: WHAT

Kenma: I didn’t think Kuro got jealous that easily

Kenma: Akaashi thought he did, so we made a bet with coffee

Kenma: I guess he does 

Kuroo: SO THAT WAS A LIE??

Kuroo: WHAT ELSE IS A LIE?? ARE YOUR TEARS EVEN REAL??

Kenma: YES IDIOT

Akaashi: So now you’re trying to invalidate his feelings because of a joke that he made with his best friend months ago?

Akaashi: Terrible boyfriend.

Kuroo: THAT’S ENOUGH FROM YOU

Kenma: Lolol

Hinata: Akaashi do you actually think Kuroo is a bad boyfriend?

Akaashi: No. I just think he’s an idiot who’s easy to pick on

Kuroo: LEAVE ME ALONE

Kuroo: At least I don’t cry to the stay alive reprise

Kenma: Shut up and come comfort me

Akaashi: You left his side when he was crying?

Kuroo: I WAS PEEING LEAVE ME ALONE

Kuroo: I HATE EVERYONE HERE

 

-

 

Oikawa: Guys!

Oikawa: Question!

Nishinoya: Yes?

Oikawa: Is it weird for me to ask Iwa-chan to put lotion on my legs?

Daichi: No?

Hinata: Yes

Oikawa: Shouyou grow up and realize that your opinion doesn’t matter

Kageyama: Hey.

Asahi: I mean I guess it could be kinda weird

Oikawa: We’re dating.

Daichi: If you’re going to get so defensive when someone disagrees with you then why did you ask a groupchat?

Oikawa: Because I’m right?

Akaashi: I don’t think it’s weird

Kenma: Kuro puts lotion on my legs all the time

Kenma: And sometimes he’ll shave my legs if I ask

Hinata: You shave your legs?

Kenma: Yeah

Hinata: Why?

Kenma: Idk what you want me to say Shouyou

Akaashi: Bokuto shaves my legs for me too

Kenma: Soulmate tingz

Akaashi: Soulmate tingz

Bokuto: Akaashi why am I not your soulmate 😔

Kenma: Because I’m already his soulmate. Accept it and move on.

Oikawa: I think you’re all straying from the original point

Oikawa: Me. Being right

Iwaizumi: I’m not putting lotion on your legs

Oikawa: WHY IWA-CHAN

Iwaizumi: I have to leave in a few minutes

Oikawa: IT WON’T TAKE LONG??

Oikawa: PLEASE IWA-CHAN I’M SO TIRED

Iwaizumi: I won’t want to leave if I do

Oikawa: What do you want from me?

Oikawa: Do you hate me?

Sugawara: I- 

Sugawara: If you don’t understand what he’s trying to say to you then idk what to say

Iwaizumi: And why did you assume I thought it was weird when I literally just said no?

Oikawa: Idk! 

Oikawa: Stop yelling at me!

Iwaizumi: I’m literally not

Oikawa: You hate me!!

Sugawara: Why are you being like this

Iwaizumi: Oh my god

Iwaizumi: You’re going to make me late to class

Oikawa: If you loved me you would skip class

Iwaizumi: You are so shitty

Oikawa: Rude!

Oikawa: Iwa-chan come put lotion on my legs 

Nishinoya: Yeah iwa-chan

Nishinoya: go rail him to stitches too

Oikawa has left the chat

 

-

 

Tanaka: Hey guys

Nishinoya: RYU!

Tanaka: YUU!

Tanaka: Anyway idk why but I randomly thought of this

Tanaka: Remember when Shouyou said he was straight?

Sugawara: AHAHAHA

Sugawara: HE WAS SO INSISTENT 

Hinata: Shut up

Oikawa: He had a dream about Tobio kissing him and that’s what made him realize he wasn’t

Sugawara: WHAT HAHAHA

Nishinoya: SHOUYOU HAHA

Kageyama: You did?

Hinata: SHUT UP I DON’T KNOW WHY WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT THIS

Kenma: Lol poor shouyou

Kenma: Getting picked on because you didn’t have your sexuality figured out..

Kenma: You guys are bullies.

Kenma: Anyway remember when Kuro thought he was straight?

Sugawara: I-

Kuroo: Shut up Kenma

Bokuto: Kuroo thought he was straight?

Bokuto: LMAO

Kuroo: SHUT UP BOKUTO

Bokuto: NO YOU SHUT UP

Kuroo: YOU SHUT UP

Akaashi: That’s enough of that

Sugawara: I want a story!!!

Nishinoya: Story time story time story time story time

Kenma: When we were in high school he was dating this girl for like a year and a half

Kenma: And I was like Kuro, break up with her

Kenma: You’re in love with me

Kenma: And he always just laughed

Kuroo: IT MADE ME SO NERVOUS

Kuroo: YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW NERVOUS I WAS TO BE AROUND YOU ALL THE TIME

Kuroo: SHE ALWAYS WANTED TO HANG OUT WITH ME AND I JUST ALWAYS WANTED TO HANG OUT WITH YOU

Kuroo: AND YOU’RE MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN SHE WAS AND I COULDN’T GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD

Sugawara: That’s so cute

Kenma: Yeah but then it gets not cute because he broke up with her and started dating Daichi

Kenma: And this idiot goes

Kenma: ‘kenma you’re right i’m not straight’

Kenma: Idiot I didn’t SAY YOU WEREN’T

Kenma: I JUST SAID YOU WERE IN LOVE WITH ME

Hinata: Wait I remember that

Oikawa: Me too

Oikawa: Is that when you called me crying about Daichi?

Kenma: I don’t know what you’re talking about

Kuroo: YOU CALLED OIKAWA CRYING OVER IT??

Oikawa: He called me crying and kept being like

Oikawa: ‘Daichi sucks’ ‘Daichi isn’t here with him everyday’ ‘Daichi doesn’t know him as well as I do’ and i was like who is that and what the fuck are you even talking about

Oikawa: AND YOU NEVER TOLD ME

Kenma: IT WAS EMBARRASSING

Oikawa: THEN WHY DID YOU CALL

Kenma: YOUR STUPID VOICE MAKES ME FEEL BETTER

Oikawa: AWWW

Kenma: AND WHY DO YOU REMEMBER QUOTES FROM A PHONE CALL FROM HIGH SCHOOL

Oikawa: I HAVE A GOOD MEMORY AND ALSO IT WAS SUCH A MYSTORY THAT IT STUCK WITH ME

Kenma: IF YOU HAVE SUCH A GOOD MEMORY THEN WHY CAN’T YOU SPELL MYSTERY RIGHT

Oikawa: SHUT UP???

Kuroo:  WAIT YOU WERE CRYING???

Daichi: Shut up Kuroo. Leave him alone

Kuroo: Yes sir yes sir yes sir

Kenma: Don’t talk to him like that

Sugawara: Don’t talk to him like that 

Nishinoya: Oooooh, sensitive topic



Chapter Text

Akaashi changed the group name to Kinda sad. Might just wait around for Bokuto to get off of work so he can make me feel better and cuddle with me

Akaashi: Bokuto has worked overtime

Akaashi: for the past two weekends

Akaashi: I miss him

Sugawara: Aw I’m sorry Akaashi :-(

Akaashi: It’s fine. I’ll just die alone

Bokuto: AKAASHI I’LL BE HOME IN 30 MINUTES I TOLD YOU THIS

Akaashi: So much could happen in 30 minutes

Akaashi: I could die alone

Bokuto: AH DON’T DIE PLEASE I’LL BE THERE SOON

Sugawara: lmaoooo

Oikawa: I always thought Bokuto was the needy one

Akaashi: It works both ways 🥰🥰

Akaashi: I’m so dependent on him it’s ugly

Bokuto: iTS NOT UGLY STOP

Sugawara: So cute omg

Akaashi: This is random but I’m just thinking about Kageyama and the fact that no one here deserves him

Hinata: He’s literally my boyfriend

Akaashi: No one deserves Kageyama 

Hinata: What did I ever do to you

Akaashi: Nothing 🥰

Kenma: Akaashi I CANNOT BREATHE

Kenma: CAN YOU CALM DOWN

Akaashi: Everyone check my Spotify and listen to my playlists because I have great taste in music

Daichi: You are being so scary

Kuroo: What are you even talking about anymore

Bokuto: AKAASHI I HAVE DINNER TOO I FORGOT TO TELL YOU

Akaashi: hurry hurry hurry hurry hurry

 

-

 

Bokuto: Attached image

Bokuto: Everyone stop worrying. Akaashi is in my arms and now happy again

Sugawara: WHY ARE YOU GUYS SO CUTE

Akaashi: I just missed him so much

Kenma: he was working overtime for two weekends

Akaashi: I was touch starved

Kuroo: for 2 days??

Bokuto: HE WAS TOUCH STARVED LEAVE HIM ALONE

Oikawa: Kuroo and Kenma sure are being critical when they’re just as bad

Iwaizumi: Idiot, you’re just the same. I practically live with you

Oikawa: BECAUSE I WOULD DIE WITHOUT YOU AND YOU KNOW IT

Oikawa: WHO IS GONNA TELL ME IM NOT UGLY

Oikawa: WHO IS GONNA REMIND ME TO EAT EVERY DAY

Iwaizumi: you just proved my point?

Oikawa: I think you want to break up with me.

 

-

 

Kuroo changed the group name to I CANT STOP LAUGHING BECAUSE KENMA EXISTS

Kuroo: I cant breathe

Kuroo: I CANT STOP LAUGHING

Kuroo: I was listening to Who Lives Who Dies Who Tells Your Story RIGHT

Kenma: stop

Kuroo: And Eliza goes

Kuroo: She’s buried in Trinity church near you

Kuroo: So I tell Kenma we should go to Trinity church when we visit America. So we can see the Schuylers and Hamilton’s

Kuroo: as a joke

Kenma: ew Kuroo stop

Kuroo: he got so uncomfortable HE STARTED CRYING

Sugawara: OMG EW EW EW I CAN VISIT THEIR GRAVES THATS SO WEIRD THATS SO WEIRD

Kuroo: YES AHAHAH AND LIKE I TOOK IT FURTHER

Kuroo: AND ASKED IF HE WANTED TO GO ON A HISTORICAL FIGURE GRAVE TOUR

Kuroo: IMAGINE GOING TO LIKE GEORGE WASHINGTON’S GRAVE LIKE THATS SO WEIRD

Kenma: IT IS WEIRD AND I WANT TO CRY

Sugawara: do you have some sort of attachment to him or??

Kenma: NO BUT THATS WEIRD HES JUST DEAD AND WE CAN VISIT THAT LIKE HES SO DEAD

Kenma: THEYRE REAL PEOPLE JUST DEAD. THEYVE BEEN DEAD FOR SO LONG I WANT TO CRY IM UNCOMFORTABLE 

Kuroo: HAHAAHAH PLEASE KENMA COME WITH ME TO VISIT THOMAS JEFFERSON’S GRAVE

Kenma: you don’t love me

Kenma: you just like making me cry

Kuroo: I do love you

Kuroo: you’re just so weird

Daichi: why is that making you cry wtf

Kenma: Just think about it

Kenma: ITS UNCOMFORTABLE LIKE THEY WOULD HVE BEEN SO OLD IM SCARED

Kenma: IM SO SO SCARED

Kenma: IM TERRIFIED IM GONNA CRY

Sugawara: Daichi, let's get married at John Laurens' grave 😍😍

Daichi: Sounds like a plan🥰😘😘

Sugawara: How romantic

 

-

 

Sugawara: Daichi is in the shower 🙃

Tsukishima: And?

Sugawara: and he didn’t wait for me to shower with him🙃🙃

Tsukishima: Ew

Tsukishima: This is why I never check this chat

Yamaguchi: Tsukki, they’re in love!!! 😤😤😤 

Tsukishima: They’re gross and I hate them

Sugawara: You do not hate me!

Sugawara: Tsukki you love me

Sugawara: I’m your mother after all

Tsukishima: Stop that

Sugawara: My son is so rude

Kageyama: why are you being so mean to Suga

Sugawara: Kageyama! My favorite son!!

Tsukishima: He’s too horny

Nishinoya: He’s not horny ENOUGH!

Nishinoya: uP THE HORNY LEVELS SUGA

Sugawara: YOURE RIGHT BRB I'M GONNA GO TAKE A SHOWER

 

-

 

Oikawa and Iwaizumi

Oikawa: I can’t believe you left me T^T

Iwaizumi: It’s not for that long

Iwaizumi: I’m sorry :-(

Oikawa: I can’t stop thinking of you… and I wish you were here

Oikawa: attached image

Iwaizumi: Dammit Tooru, I’m at my parents house idiot

Iwaizumi: attached image

 

I CANT STOP LAUGHING BECAUSE KENMA EXISTS

 

Bokuto: Akaashi is doing a face mask

Bokuto: And I’m gonna do one with him

Akaashi: when he takes care of his skin🥰

Asahi: I had to change all of Noya’s skin care products when I saw his bathroom

Nishinoya: It wasn’t that bad :(

Asahi: a bar of soap is not face wash

Oikawa: attached image

Oikawa: attached image

Nishinoya: NICE OIKAWA NICE

Sugawara: Oikawa 🥵🤤🤤

Tsukishima: wow

Iwaizumi: YOU'RE SUCH AN IDIOT OIKAWA 

Oikawa: NO NO NO 

Oikawa: NO ONE LOOK THOSE WERE FOR IWA-CHAN

Kuroo: Don’t be shy Iwa-Chan, send some back

Kuroo: also, Oikawa 😍😍

Iwaizumi: Fuck off and stop looking at it

Tanaka: YOUVE HAD ALL THAT ASS THIS ENTIRE TIME WHY ISN’T IT NOTICABLE IN PERSON

Oikawa: I’m so embarrassed I WANT TO DIE

Oikawa: WHAT HEY WTF TANAKA

Iwaizumi: Death🙃

Kenma: I thought you don’t like talking about sexual things

Oikawa: I DONT LIKE TALKING ABOUT MY SEX LIFE IN THE GROUPCHAT

Hinata: but you sent nudes here

Oikawa: THEY WERE MEANT FOR IWA-CHAN NOT THE WHOLE GROUP

Akaashi: So many nudes through text. Do you not have snap?

Oikawa: WHY ARE YOU ALL ATTACKING ME AND IDK IT JUST HAPPENED

Kageyama: wow Oikawa

Oikawa: TOBIO SHUT UP

Hinata: KAGEYAMA SHUT UP

Oikawa: DO I THANK YOU GUYS OR DO I BREAK MY PHONE AND DROWN MYSELF

Kuroo: We should thank you

Iwaizumi: I’ll kill you

Iwaizumi: I want you all to fuck off

Chapter Text

Sugawara changed the group name to I’m really the ugliest bitch out here and you guys just let me exist

Daichi: :(

Daichi: Suga you aren’t ugly at all stop that

Sugawara: My iphone says otherwise

Daichi: Wut

Sugawara: My new phone just revealed that I LOOK LIKE A WITCH

Sugawara: Not even a cool witch

Sugawara: AN UGLY WITCH

Daichi: You don’t

Sugawara: BUT I DO

Daichi: You’re NOT UGLY

Sugawara: I’d rather die 

Sugawara: I’d rather die than have you lie to my FACE

Sugawara: My stupid ugly face

Daichi: You’re so stupid sometimes

Sugawara: If only someone would kiss my stupid ugly hideous face

Sugawara: It would make me feel better

Nishinoya: omw

Tanaka: omw

Oikawa: omw

Akaashi: omw

Sugawara: If only that someone was Daichi

Daichi: omw

 

-

 

Kenma: I forgot I existed 

Hinata: wut

Oikawa: Literally how

Kenma: I was doing laundry

Kenma: And then I stopped existing for a few seconds

Kenma: But I’m back

Akaashi: You sound insane

Kenma: Stop that

Oikawa: You’re literally crazy, you’re insane

Kenma: I’m literally not I just stopped existing

Kenma: It’s relatable

Kenma: Teehee am I right?

Hinata: No

Nishinoya: I want Suzu

Nishinoya: GONE

Kenma: you take that back

Nishinoya: No, never

Asahi: Noya she is SLEEPING

Nishinoya: ON MY PILLOW

Asahi: That’s my pillow

Nishinoya: No no no no no

Nishinoya: When I sleep over

Nishinoya: That is MY PILLOW AND YOU KNOW IT

Asahi: Let her sleep

Asahi: You always sleep on my chest anyways

Nishinoya: Fine

Nishinoya: She’s lucky this time

Hinata: awww

Kenma: Give me suzu give me suzu

Kuroo: Don’t give him Suzu

Kenma: 😧

Hinata: eyebrows yessss

Kuroo: KENMA YOU JUST FORGOT YOU EXISTED YOU DO NOT NEED A CAT

Kenma: We’re breaking up

Kenma: I will gladly take Suzu off of your hands Nishinoya 

Asahi: We aren’t giving Suzu away

Nishinoya: Yet

Asahi: EVER

Kenma: 😧

Hinata: Eyebrows nice! Keep up the good work

Kenma: Kuroo  my heart is BROMKEN COME HUG ME

Oikawa: I want out of this chat

Kageyama: You can’t leave

Hinata: Ever 🙂

Oikawa: You’re all so scary and I hate it and i want to leave

Hinata: Go ahead and try

Hinata: You won’t get far 🙂

 

-

 

Oikawa: I really just wanna

Oikawa: Cover my ass in paint and pop a squat on a canvas

Oikawa: Iwa-chan would you put that on your wall

Iwaizumi: Would I put your paint covered ass on my wall?

Oikawa: Yes. One of my thighs will also be on it

Iwaizumi: I guess, yeah

Oikawa: YES OMG OMG OMG I’M GONNA GO BUY A CANVAS HAHA

Oikawa: IWA-CHAN I LOVE YOU ❤️

Iwaizumi: Ew

Oikawa: WHY ARE YOU LIKE THAT TO ME

Iwaizumi: ❤️

Oikawa: ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Tsukishima: Don’t your parents visit?

Iwaizumi: Yeah but I can just put it in the closet until they leave

Kenma: imagine wanting oikawa's ass on your wall

Iwaizumi: Lol he wants it there so it’s fine

Sugawara: A MAN A MAN A MAN DAICHI CAN I SIT ON A CANVAS AND GIVE IT TO YOU

Daichi: Sure!

Sugawara: Look at that enthusiasm 🤤

Tsukishima: I don't understand you guys

Hinata: You guys are just gonna have that on a wall

Hinata: Like, it’s just gonna be there

Iwaizumi: Yes

Daichi: Yes

Hinata: I-

Hinata: Okay

Kageyama: Oikawa said pop a squat

Kageyama: Is no one gonna talk about that?

Tanaka: HAHAHH WTF I DIDN’T EVEN NOTICE

 

-

 

Sugawara: It’s midnight forty two and I can’t stop putting lip gloss on

Kenma: Midnight forty two

Sugawara: Lip Gloss 😍

Sugawara: Late night lip gloss 😍

Sugawara: I want to get lip gloss on Daichi’s dick

Daichi: KOUSHI

Kuroo: So shameless 

Nishinoya: HAHAH WHERE DID THAT EVEN COME FROM

Nishinoya: SUGA YES HAHA

Sugawara: Just an urge I guess ☺️

Sugawara: Just me? Haha

Sugawara: Kuroo don’t even say anything

Kuroo: 😇

Chapter Text

Kenma changed the group name to I’m dying

Oikawa: Dying?

Kenma: Yes.

Sugawara: Sounds serious

Kenma: IT IS

Akaashi: Hmmm. 

Akaashi: Anyway, what did you guys do today?

Kenma: I’M DYING

Kenma: AND YOU’RE ALL GOING TO DISMISS IT?

Hinata: Kageyama and I went on a date!

Sugawara: Oooh! That’s so cute! Where?

Oikawa: Tobio!!! Where did you take my Shouyou??

Kageyama: We just went out to eat

Hinata: But first we walked around, and then after we got ice cream together! And then played volleyball!

Daichi: Are you guys just always playing?

Hinata: Yes! Kageyama always wants to play when we go out

Kageyama: You’re the one who always brings the ball??

Oikawa: You two are so …. 

Iwaizumi: Cute?

Oikawa: No, not that

Hinata: Say cute

Oikawa: No

Nishinoya: Say cute

Oikawa: I’M NOT GIVING INTO PEER PRESSURE

Oikawa: I’ll NEVER call anything involving Tobio cute!

Hinata: attached image

Hinata: Here’s us at the park!

Sugawara: Omg..

Sugawara: Daichi I’m going to cry

Sugawara: Look at them

Daichi: I know, I know

Iwaizumi: Awww

Iwaizumi: Oikawa said they’re cute

Oikawa: Iwa-chan! Traitor!

Kenma: EXCUSE ME THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT ME!

Oikawa: Who are you? Me?

Kenma: Shut up! I’m dying!

Kenma: And Kuro hasn’t answered me all day! 

Kenma: I miss him! So much! I haven’t heard his voice since yesterday!

Kenma: What if he died?

Kenma: What if he’s stuck somewhere?

Kenma: What if he broke his phone? And has no way of contacting me?

Kenma: What if he got kidnapped?

Kenma: What if he drowned? He can’t swim!

Kenma: What if he’s ghosting me?

Kenma: I don’t think he would ghost me

Kenma: What if he’s in the hospital?

Kenma: What if he got into a terrible train accident underneath a tunnel in the middle of the country and they can’t get him or the other passengers out?

Kenma: What if he got into a plane crash?

Kenma: What if he got into a plane crash and the plane went into the ocean and there’s no way of determining the survivors even though there could be? Maybe?

Kenma: But that would also fall into the he drowned scenario as well

Sugawara: Omg Kenma. Stop 

Kenma: But I’m here SUFFERING and he isn’t here to take care of me!

Oikawa: Kenma I didn’t realize you were so needy

Kenma: I’m not needy, shut up

Sugawara: You’re needy

Akaashi: Why are you suffering?

Kenma: I went outside for 30 minutes

Kenma: 30 MINUTES

Kenma: And now my legs are COATED AND I MEAN COATED with mosquito bites

Kuroo: Did someone say kenma’s legs?

Kuroo: I’ve been dreaming about them all day 😍🥰

Nishinoya: Do you have a leg fetish?

Kuroo: No, you freak, his legs just get me like 😰😰🤯🤯🥵🥵

Kuroo: Like he’s so beautiful 

Kuroo: Head empty just Kenma and his beautiful, sexy legs 🥰 🥵

Kuroo: AND HIS HIPS

Kuroo: Perfect

Kuroo: Perfect for me to grab

Kuroo: AND HIS ASS?

Kuroo: Omg Kenma’s ass 🤯😳😋🍴

Nishinoya: YES KUROO 

Oikawa: Oh my god stop, you freak

Kenma: Kuro you’re back

Kuroo: I am, sorry! I’ve been helping Bokuto paint my room

Sugawara: Sorry I need to read that again

Sugawara: Do you mean he’s been helping YOU paint your room?

Kuroo: No. I said what I said

Kenma: Akaashi! Our boyfriends were spending all day together and left us alone!

Kuroo: Akaashi was there

Kenma: Why wasn’t I invited?

Akaashi: You were

Kuroo: I asked you if you wanted to come

Kuroo: You said no

Kenma: WELL

Kenma: You always put paint hand prints on my butt when you’re painting around me

Kuroo: I’m just claiming what’s mine 😌

Kuroo: Speaking of what’s mine

Kuroo: Your legs!

Kuroo: I read the chat. Do you want me to come over? I can help you feel better

Kenma: Yes pls

Yamaguchi: Why do you just say different parts of Kenma are yours?

Tsukishima: Because he’s a freak, Tadashi. Look away

Kuroo: Excuse me

 

-

 

Kuroo: It is 8pm

Kuroo: And kenma won‘t stop yawning 

Kuroo: Baby it’s so early 

Kuroo: What have you even done today

Kenma: So much!

Kenma: I was so busy

Kuroo: You sat on the couch with Akaashi and played mario kart

Kenma: We did more than that

Kuroo: Oh, sorry, you also watched TV

Kenma: Shut up Kuro

Kuroo: No

Kuroo: It’s cute tho he looks like a cat

Kenma: I’m leaving I’m going to sleep at my own apartment 

Kuroo: WAIT NO

Akaashi: It’s what you deserve 

Kuroo: BUTT OUT AKAASHI

Kuroo: KENMA

Sugawara: It’s what you deserve 

Kuroo: STOP

Kuroo: BUT OUTT SUGA

Nishinoya: haha you’re so flustered that you mixed up the t’s 

Kuroo: STOP

Oikawa: God, Kenma come get your man

Oikawa: He’s annoying as fuck

Kenma: No! I’m at my apartment now

Sugawara: Doesn’t he literally live next door?

Oikawa: Yes lol

Oikawa: They’re ridiculous

Kuroo: Kenma let me in I’m crying

Kuroo: I’m shaking I’m crying I just want my Kenma 

Kuroo: Kenma

Kuroo: Kenma Kenma Kenma Kenma

Kuroo: Baby

Kuroo: Kitten

Kuroo: Kittennnnn

Kuroo: KENMA PLS

Tsukishima: Shut up

Kuroo: I’M IN

Daichi: Thrilling

Sugawara: Exhilarating 

Nishinoya: Soooo exciting

Oikawa: Amazing

Kuroo: He’s still acting like he’s mad

Kuroo: I’m gonna eat his ass

Akaashi: Nice

Bokuto: YESSSS

Nishinoya: YESS NICE NICE NICE

Sugawara: YES KUROO

Oikawa: Disgusting

 

-

 

Oikawa: Do you guys ever think about Kuroo and Kenma?

Tsukishima: No.

Sugawara: I only think about Kuroo when I have to

Kuroo: All the time 🥰😍😍

Kuroo: We’re just so great 😍🥰

Akaashi: Why are you thinking about them?

Oikawa: Why do you ask so many questions?

Akaashi: You’re all weirdos and I’m just trying to understand 

Oikawa: Idk I was sitting in bed 

Oikawa: And Iwa-chan was asleep and laying on me so he wasn’t entertaining me

Sugawara: Why do you act like that’s all he exists for

Oikawa: Because it is

Sugawara: He’s just going to read that when he wakes up

Oikawa: Actually Iwa-chan doesn’t read that chat when he’s been gone for a while

Oikawa: He says it’s bc it’s full of idiot nonsense 🥰

Kageyama: I don’t understand the emoji but ok

Oikawa: Not everything is about you Tobio

Oikawa: Anyway I was bored and in bed and scrolling through Instagram 

Oikawa: And Kuroo posted pics of them together and I literally sat there and went through his entire account 

Kuroo: AND LIKED AND COMMENTED ON EVERYTHING. IT WAS HORRIBLE

Oikawa: Idk why you’re mad at me, I gave you my attention 🤷🏻‍♀️✨

Oikawa: Anyway?? Their height difference? Is so dramatic???

Oikawa: Cute

Oikawa: Kuroo just being so obnoxious 

Kuroo: HEY!

Oikawa: And Kenma just being so cute??

Oikawa: They’re so cute I can’t stop thinking about them

Hinata: My height difference with Kageyama is like that

Hinata: When I kiss him I have to get on my toes and he still has to lean down

Kuroo: THAT’S THE BEST THAT’S THE BEST

Nishinoya: ASAHI AND I ARE LIKE THAT

Oikawa: Cool. No one asked

Nishinoya: You’re just mad because you don’t have a cute height difference ✨

Oikawa: Excuse me, my iwa-Chan is shorter than me and I think we’re perfect 

Sugawara: He’s literally shorter by two inches

Sugawara: Calm down

Oikawa: Daichi I’m gonna fight your boyfriend

Daichi: Okay

Sugawara: ??!!!

Sugawara: Just ‘okay’???!!!!

Sugawara: No ‘don’t touch my precious Koushi or I’ll kill you with a shovel’ ??????

Kuroo: Why'd you have to get so specific with that

Sugawara: I’m betrayed! I’m heartbroken! 

Daichi: You’re literally laying on me right now. I think you’re fine

Sugawara: I’m pissed off 

Sugawara: You aren’t doing enough for me 💔

Daichi: Ok. Oikawa don’t fight Suga. Is that better?

Sugawara: Well you could also be touching my ass 

Oikawa: Suga I hate you 

Nishinoya: Yessss horny Suga!!!!

Sugawara: Always happy to please my fans 💖💋

Sugawara: Now if only Daichi would please me.. 😳

Tsukishima: wow

Chapter Text

Hinata changed the group name to Kageyama is over party

Kuroo: He IS NOT

Bokuto: NO NO NO

Hinata: he’s cancelled

Bokuto: There is no way that’s happening

Hinata: well it is 

Tsukishima: You’re an idiot

Tsukishima: Literally so dumb

Asahi: It’s kind of cute that Tsukishima is always on Kageyama’s side

Tsukishima: Please don’t say gross things like that

Hinata: Kageyama took Natsu to the park

Sugawara: How sweet 🥰

Hinata: NO BECAUSE HE DIDN’T TAKE ME

Kageyama: Idiot, you said you were doing homework

Hinata: STILL

Iwaizumi: god you’re like Oikawa

Oikawa: Hey!!

Hinata: I just wanted you to push me on the swings🥺 

Kageyama: We can go tomorrow morning?

Hinata: I want to sleep innnnnnn

Kageyama: Well, then idk. We can go later in the day?

Hinata: I need to go to the store

Kageyama: Omg idk what to tell you

Oikawa: He will never be satisfied

Oikawa: I will never be satisfied

Kuroo: And then it’s The Story of Tonight reprise

Kenma: u are the ugliest 

Kuroo: Are you gonna cry to that reprise too?

Kenma: ur dead too me

Oikawa: too me

Hinata: Well Kageyama, I guess you just have to buy me ice cream to make up for it

Kageyama: what

Hinata: Well Kageyama, I guess you just have to sleep over to make up for it

Kageyama: okay

Hinata: Well Kageyama, I guess you’ll just have to kiss me to make up for it 

Kageyama: okay

Hinata: THAT'S ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY TO ME???

Kageyama: IM PACKING MY STUFF TO SLEEP OVER CAN YOU STOP

Tsukishima: lol

 

-

 

Oikawa: Guys I just ate strawberry popcorn

Akaashi: was it good?

Oikawa: It tasted so cute!

Daichi: I…. 

Iwaizumi: I don’t know what it means either 

Kenma: Cute?

Oikawa: Yes omg it tasted cute! What more do you want from me

Kenma: I want you to make sense because you sound stupid

Bokuto: You've never had something that tasted cute before?

Kenma: No because I’m not weird

Kuroo: Kenma’s ass🥰🥰🥰

Kenma: Bitch

Bokuto: HAHAHA NO NO NO I'VE TASTED CUTE THINGS

Bokuto: Like um

Bokuto: Akaashi likes lavender iced lattes and those taste cute

Akaashi: I see

Oikawa: YES LAVENDER TASTES SO CUTE

Kenma: I still think you’re crazy

Oikawa: IM PERFECTLY SANE BOKUTO KNOWS WHAT I MEAN

Kenma: Yeah but literally that’s Bokuto

Bokuto: KENMA WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN

Kenma: That you’re a freak

Bokuto: NOOO KENMA PLEASE

Kuroo: LMAOOO

Oikawa: ANYWAYS

Oikawa: Attached image

Iwaizumi: Idiot why would you send that

Oikawa: Because it looks great on your wall

Iwaizumi: That doesn’t mean they need to see it

Oikawa: IT’S ART IWA-CHAN

Iwaizumi: IT'S YOUR ASS IDIOT THEY DON'T NEED TO SEE IT

Oikawa: EITHER WAY MY ASS LOOKS INCREDIBLE UP ON IWA-CHAN’S WALL

Oikawa: immaculate to say the least and they’ve already seen my ass soooo… 

Sugawara: Iwaizumi gets jealous so easily lol

Kuroo: coming from you

Sugawara: I was gonna say it’s cute BUT I HATE YOU KUROO YOU RUINED IT

Daichi: Please stop bullying Suga. Whenever you bring up his jealousy he refuses to hold my hand because he’s angry

Sugawara: Yeah because you held someone's hand before mine

Daichi: Suga what does that mean

Sugawara: Literally name someone better than me

Daichi: I can’t

Sugawara: NOT KUROO 

Sugawara: NOT YUI

Daichi: Okay I understand the Kuroo thing but why is it always Yui

Kuroo: THIS IS HAPPENING

Kenma: You started this

Kuroo: you hate me

Kenma: Yes

Akaashi: lmaooo imagine Kenma hating you

Kenma: 😍

Akaashi: 😍

Kenma: I could never hate Akaashi

Kuroo: Stop that

Akaashi: you stop that

 

-

 

Yamaguchi: You say our love is draining 

Yamaguchi: and you can’t go on

Yamaguchi: You’ll be the one complaining when I’m gone

Oikawa: Hamilton again?

Yamaguchi: Wait wait wait wait I promise it’ll be good

Tsukishima: You are terrifying 

Yamaguchi: And no, don’t change the subject.

Yamaguchi: cuz you’re my favorite subject

Yamaguchi: My sweet, submissive subject

Yamaguchi: That’s me 

Yamaguchi: I’m the sweet submissive subject

Tsukishima: … 

Tsukishima: Wow

Oikawa: All of that buildup

Oikawa: to make me vomit

Yamaguchi: So everyone is allowed to be horny but I’m not

Oikawa: No because you are an innocent cute little guy 

Tsukishima: Yamaguchi is not innocent

Oikawa: AHHHH NO DON’T SAY THAT

Tsukishima: Yamaguchi is not innocent

Yamaguchi: We were out

Yamaguchi: Like getting lunch

Yamaguchi: And this guy was being mean to me for no reason

Yamaguchi: And tSUKKI SAVED ME

Yamaguchi: He just stood up for me

Yamaguchi: He was gonna beat him up for me

Tsukishima: I wasn’t but okay

Yamaguchi: You were because you’re my hero and it was hot

Tsukishima: It wasn’t but okay

Yamaguchi: Can you just take my compliments and fuck my face

Oikawa: TADASHI

Yamaguchi: 😇

Tsukishima: You are so embarrassing 

Yamaguchi: no? 🥺🥺🥺

Tsukishima: I never said no

Oikawa: AHHH WHY IS NO ONE ELSE REPLYING TO YOU GUYS

Oikawa: WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE SEEING THIS

Yamaguchi: 😇😇😇

Oikawa: EWEW I HATE THINKING OF YOU LIKE THIS

Nishinoya: YES OMGOMG

Nishinoya changed the group name to Tsukki fucks

Chapter Text

Tsukki fucks

Hinata: Kageyama brushed my hair for me today!

Oikawa: Okay??

Hinata: It was cute lol

Kenma: Kuro brushes my hair for me all the time

Kenma: Welcome to having a good boyfriend 😌

Sugawara: Daichi brushes my hair

Sugawara: And puts lotion on my legs 

Sugawara: And cooks for me

Sugawara: And sometimes he’ll even dress me if I ask

Oikawa: So he’s your slave

Sugawara: Oooh I like that!

Daichi: I don’t

Sugawara: Yeah, I don’t think I’d be able to boss you around like that

Sugawara: I can be your slave though

Daichi: Suga it’s too early for this

Sugawara: You just hate me

Daichi: Whatever. Come get your breakfast

Sugawara: Thank you slave 🥰

Kenma: One time Kuro brushed my teeth for me

Oikawa: That’s really weird Kenma

Kenma: Yeah it was a weird experience 

Oikawa: I hate thinking about you guys. You have no boundaries 

Oikawa: It’s so fucking weird

Akaashi: Weren’t you the one who was randomly thinking of them a while ago?

Akaashi: And obsessing over their height difference?

Oikawa: Yeah but 

Oikawa: Shut up

Kenma: Marry me Akaashi

Akaashi: I’m in love with you

Kenma: Heart eyes heart eyes heart eyes just for you

Akaashi: You’re my soulmate

Kuroo: Stop?

Bokuto: STOP

Kenma: Lol

Kenma: Anyway. Sorry we’re the superior couple, Tooru

Sugawara: I want to argue with you and say you’re not the superior couple but like

Sugawara: I don’t think Daichi would brush my teeth for me

Daichi: I wouldn’t

Kenma: That’s because Kuro is physically unable to say no to me

Kuroo: Lord show me how to say no to this

Oikawa: I DON’T KNOW HOW TO SAY NO TO THIS

Kenma: GOD SHUT UP

Kuroo: OH MY GOD SHE LOOKS SO HELPLESS

Kenma: I want to kill you

Kuroo: AND HER BODY’S SAYIN’ HELL YES

Kenma: Get out of my apartment

Kuroo: Nooo bby I’ll brush ur teeth for u

Kenma: STOP I DON’T WANT THAT

Oikawa: Who’s willing to bet that Kuroo’s chasing him around now

Akaashi: Definitely 

Bokuto: YESS KUROO GET THOSE TEETH

Tsukishima: You guys are insufferable 

 

-

 

Sugawara: ANGEL I HEAR YOU

Sugawara: SPEAK I LISTEN

Sugawara: STAY BY MY SIDE

Sugawara: GUIDE ME

Daichi: IT IS 5AM

Daichi: STOP SINGING PHANTOM OF THE OPERA AND GO TO BED

Sugawara: NO 

Sugawara: ANGEL MY SOUL WAS WEAK

Sugawara: FORGIVE ME

Sugawara: ENTER AT LAST 

Sugawara: MASTER!!

Kenma: Sugawara

Kenma: I’m going to PRETEND I didn’t just get woken up to phantom of the opera lyrics this early in the fucking morning

Kenma: I’m going to LOOK at Kuro sleeping next to me with his cute sleepy face

Kenma: And I’m going to find my inner calm 

Kenma: But if you keep spamming this chat and prevent me from falling asleep

Kenma: That inner calm might die in the fire of my fury ❤️

Oikawa: Scary Kenma

Sugawara: AHH SORRY KENMA 

 

-

 

Akaashi: attached image

Akaashi: I did his makeup. What do you think?

Kuroo: KENMA WITH MAKEUP KENMA WITH MAKEUP

Kuroo: KENMA WITH MAKEUP

Kuroo: I CAN’T BREATHE

Kuroo: KENMA YOU LOOK SO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL

Kuroo: KENMA KENMA KENMA I’M OBSESSED WITH YOU

Kuroo: I’M SO IN LOVE WITH YOU

Kuroo: I WANT TO MARRY YOU

Kuroo: PLEASE MARRY ME

Kuroo: YOU’RE MY SOULMATE

Kuroo: I WANT TO KISS YOU SO BAD 

Kenma: Kuro shut up omg

Oikawa: Kenma!!! You look so pretty!!!
Oikawa: Almost as pretty as me 💖

Kenma: Aww look how you managed to ruin that sweet compliment 💖

Sugawara: Kenma!! You look very cute! 

Sugawara: Did you do that Akaashi?

Akaashi: Yes! I’ve been practicing but I wanted to try it out on someone else for once

Kageyama: Akaashi you wear makeup?

Akaashi: Sometimes. I usually only do it when I’m really bored

Bokuto: Akaashi I love when you do your makeup!!

Akaashi: I know. That’s why I always send you pictures when I do. ❤️

Bokuto: ❤️

Sugawara: Guys. Don’t

Akaashi: Don’t what?

Sugawara: Don’t be cute in front of me

Sugawara: Don’t be the cutest couple in this chat in front of me

Bokuto: Too late 😎 We’re the cutest couple ALWAYS 

Kuroo: And that’s on what?

Bokuto: PERIODT

Oikawa: EW LMAO

 

-

 

Oikawa: GUYS GUYS GUYS

Oikawa: GUYS GUYS GUYS GUYS GUYS

Kageyama: What

Oikawa: SOMEONE ELSE SOMEONE ELSE

Sugawara: What?

Oikawa: GUESS WHAT IWA-CHAN BOUGHT ME

Kuroo: NIPPLE CLAMPS

Oikawa: WHY WOULD YOU GUESS THAT

Oikawa: NO

Oikawa: HE BOUGHT ME

Oikawa: DRUM ROLL PLEASE

Hinata: No

Oikawa: DRUM ROLL PLEASE

Kenma: No

Oikawa: HE BOUGHT ME ANIMAL CROSSING

Kenma: OMG WE CAN PLAY TOGETHER

Oikawa: OMG

Kenma: OMG

Akaashi: I could play with you guys too.

Kageyama: Me too!

Oikawa: OMG

Oikawa: OMG OMG OMG

Oikawa: YES

Kuroo: Aww look. It’s nerd Christmas.

Sugawara: NERD CHRISTMAS HAHA

Oikawa: Don’t say that to me ever again

 

-

 

Oikawa: Iwa-chan is being mean to me 💔

Kenma: I’m sure you deserve it

Oikawa: I don’t!

Tsukishima: I’m sure you do

Iwaizumi: He won’t stop doing tik tok dances and he has so much homework due in a few hours

Iwaizumi: I’m just trying to look out for his grades

Tsukishima: Tadashi does that too. It’s so annoying

Yamaguchi: You love when I do tik tok dances!!

Tsukishima: I don’t

Yamaguchi: I’m never gonna throw it back for you again 😔

Oikawa: Iwa-chan you can take my tik tok dances away from me when I’m dead

Iwaizumi: Stop being so dramatic

Oikawa: Also Yamaguchi we should do tik tok dances together!!

Yamaguchi: Yes!!!
Sugawara: I WANNA JOIN

Kuroo: ME TOO

Kuroo: I always try to get Kenma to tik tok dance with me but he’s too good at throwing it back and it makes me feel inferior 

Akaashi: That’s because compared to Kenma everyone is inferior 

Kenma: Akaashi heart eyes heart eyes

Akaashi: Kenma heart eyes heart eyes

Bokuto: Why is this a new thing you guys do?

Bokuto: It’s so weird

Kenma: Don’t get jealous just because his double heart eyes aren’t for you ❤️

Oikawa: Sassy Kenma!! I love it

Kuroo: Me too 😳 Kenma come give me a lap dance

Sugawara: HAHAHA WHAT

Daichi: That’s a new one

 

-

 

Kuroo: omg

Kuroo: GAYS AND TANAKA

Sugawara: LMAO

Kuroo: Bokuto and I went out today and made the best purchases ever!

Bokuto: YES YES YES YES

Bokuto: attached image

Kuroo: attached image

Bokuto: We bought Akaashi and Kenma crop tops!

Sugawara: OMG OMG

Sugawara: Did they come with those cute shorts?

Bokuto: Yes, they were sets!

Sugawara: Omg! Daichi, come with me to the store I want to get a crop top and shorts!

Daichi: Okay

Oikawa: Iwa-chan I want a crop top!
Iwaizumi: Then go buy one

Oikawa: Mean!

 

-

 

Oikawa: attached image

Oikawa: Iwa-chan bought me a crop top!

Sugawara: YOU LOOK SO CUTE

Sugawara: Oikawa Tooru I’m gay for you

Iwaizumi: Hey.

Sugawara: attached image

Sugawara: Look at the one I got!

Oikawa: Suga!! So cute!!

Oikawa: Let’s be gay for each other!

Sugawara: Okay!

Iwaizumi: HEY

Oikawa: Awww jealous Iwa-chan

 

-

 

Kuroo: Hello! What are you all doing this fine Saturday?

Bokuto: I’m taking Akaashi to the movies!

Akaashi: Guess who’s gonna get handsy 😌

Oikawa: Don’t be a freak in public please 

Akaashi: Fine

Sugawara: Me and Daichi are just staying in

Asahi: Noya is with Tanaka so I’m hanging out with Suzu 

Kenma: Suzu!!! How is she?

Asahi: Good! 

Asahi: attached image

Kenma: Ahhhhh so cute so cute so cute

Hinata: I’m playing volleyball with Kageyama!

Hinata: What are you doing Kuroo?

Kuroo: Taking my Kenma out on a date!!!

Kuroo: And then I’m gonna eat his ass 😋🥰

Akaashi: Nice

Nishinoya: NICE KUROO

Hinata: Why do you talk about eating his ass so much?

Kuroo: What can I say, I love what I do 😔

Kuroo: Wrong emoji but whatever

Hinata: Why?

Kuroo: Why.. What?

Hinata: Why do you like eating his ass?

Sugawara: hahahahahaha

Oikawa: i don’t want to be here

Oikawa: like I really don’t want to be here 

Oikawa: I don’t think I’ve ever been this uncomfortable in my life

Oikawa: Come on, Iwa-chan lets go

Oikawa removed Iwaizumi from the chat

Oikawa left the chat

Sugawara: HAHAHAHA

Kenma: Shouyou why are you asking him that?

Hinata: I’m actually curious!

Hinata: Like

Hinata: He doesn’t really get anything out of it. Do you eat his ass back?

Kenma: Sometimes? But we both don’t enjoy it as much?

Kenma: Kuro I’m so so uncomfortable 

Kenma: Help me

Kuroo:

Kuroo: Hinata I don’t know how to answer you

Kuroo: Am I supposed to answer? Like am I supposed to give you the actual reason? What do you want from me

Akaashi: This is weird

Hinata: Yes! I’m curious!

Kageyama: Idiot why are you like this

Hinata: Dumbass I’m curious!

Kenma: Kuro, don’t answer 

Kuroo: You don’t want to know why I like eating your ass? 😼

Kenma: I can guess.

Hinata: I can’t

Tsukishima removed Yamaguchi from the chat

Tsukishima left the chat

Sugawara: That’s okay. You don’t need to know

Hinata: But I’m curious! 

Kenma: Shouyou why don’t you try sucking Kageyama’s dick. You’ll get the answer you’re looking for

Hinata: Okay!

Daichi: Sometimes I don’t like being in this groupchat

Chapter Text

Tsukki FUCKS

Yamaguchi: Tsukki come kiss me because I’m sad 😎😎

Tsukishima: Okay

Tsukishima: Why are you sad???

Yamaguchi: Idk :(

Tsukishima: okay, I’ll be there soon

Sugawara: Yamaguchi, if you ever need to talk, we’re just a phone call away. You can even visit if you’d like

Yamaguchi: Thanks Suga 🥺

 

-

 

Tsukishima: I have

Tsukishima: No words

Yamaguchi: Choose your next words wisely

Tsukishima: Don’t try to threaten me

Tsukishima: It’s not even a big deal lol

Tsukishima: it’s just funny

Oikawa: Oh god what happened

Tsukishima: Yamaguchi was sad

Tsukishima: BECAUSE HE WATCHED AN EDIT

Tsukishima: a Harry Potter fancast that was fucking horrible until the last 20 seconds

Tsukishima: THE 20 SECONDS WAS SIRIUS BLACK DYING AND REMUS JUST SO SAD

Yamaguchi: You always want to break up with me :(

Tsukishima: It’s just so funny because the fancast was horrible and you were just sobbing

Yamaguchi: It caught me off guard idk idk idk

Asahi: Why did you say you didn’t know why you were sad

Yamaguchi: BECAUSE I WAS SO SCARED

Asahi: wut

Sugawara: Do not, DO NOT, remind me that Sirius Black is dead

Sugawara: Because my heart WILL break :-)

Kenma: Oh no oh no I want to cryyyy

Oikawa: They really said fuck your favorite

Oikawa: I WILL NOT STAND FOR THAT SHIT

Akaashi: Lets talk about the Weasleys 

Sugawara: Lets not because I will vomit, shit and cry because of Fred and George

Oikawa: AHUT UP LETS NOT TALK ABOUT HARRY POTTER DEATHS BECAUSE I WILL THINK ABOUT SNAPE

Akaashi: The resurrection stone :,-) quicker than falling asleep :,-)

Kenma: YOURE DEAD TO ME

Yamaguchi: WHY WOULD YOU REMIND ME WHY WHY WHY

Tsukishima: He’s crying Akaashi

Akaashi: 😌

Tsukishima: Akaashi, he is CRYING

Akaashi: 😌

Daichi: Hedwig and dobby

Daichi: And Moody 

Daichi left the group

Sugawara: NO NO DAICHIIII WHY

Sugawara added Daichi to the group

Oikawa: HEDWIG NOO

Yamaguchi: I am hyperventilating GOODBYE

 

-

 

Oikawa: I have to wake up at 5 ;-)

Oikawa: And Iwa-chan refuses to stay up and talk to me because he says I need to sleep

Daichi: Because you do need to sleep

Daichi: If you sleep right now you can get four hours of sleep

Oikawa: But if I wait I can get 3 hours of sleep

Oikawa: Maybe even 2 hours 😎 

Oikawa: Cool beans

Sugawara: Please go to sleep

Sugawara: And please don’t say cool beans

Oikawa: Fine fine

Oikawa: Jk lol

Sugawara: Daichi, don’t respond to him because he needs to sleep

Daichi: Goodnight Oikawa

Sugawara: Goodnight Oikawa

Oikawa: (;_;)

Kageyama: Aw he looks so sad

Kageyama: Goodnight Oikawa

Oikawa: TOBIO NO STAY WITH ME

Hinata: No

Hinata: Goodnight idiot

 

-

 

Kageyama: Thinking about how short Hinata is

Hinata: 😟

Kageyama: You’re just so cute

Hinata: I’m not so stop

Kageyama: You’re cute

Akaashi: I don’t mean to interrupt but Kageyama I knitted you a scarf

Kageyama: Really? Omg thanks Akaashi

Akaashi: Of course!

Bokuto: Did you knit me a scarf?

Akaashi: No because I’ve knitted you so many things

Bokuto: Then why Kageyama?

Akaashi: Because he’s 😍

Hinata: No

Bokuto: NO

Kuroo: Kageyama is our king

Akaashi: Yes

Hinata: yes

Bokuto: Yes but no

Kageyama: I don’t know what any of this means

Kuroo: It means I’m in love with you

Oikawa: All of this is scary

Akaashi: ANYWAYS

Akaashi: I can mail it to you? Or if you’re going to be in the area you can pick it up

Kageyama: Shouyou do you wanna go to Tokyo with me

Hinata: YES YES YES 😊

Kageyama: We can pick it up maybe next weekend

Kuroo: YES KAGEYAMA VISIT ME PLEASE PLEASE

Hinata: KENMA KENMA I'M COMING TO TOKYO

Kenma: I’m excited omg

Kenma: WAIT 

Kenma: WAIT

Kenma: HOLD UP

Kenma: KAGEYAMA CALLED HINATA SHOUYOU I AM PEEING

Kageyama: Wut

Kenma: You called him SHOUYOU

Kageyama: I didn’t 

Kenma: YOU DID I’VE REREAD IT 30 TIMES BECAUSE I AM PEEING

Hinata: EW EW EW WHY WOULD YOU CALL ME THAT

Kageyama: We’re dating idiot, why can’t I call you that

Oikawa: He wants you to call him baby instead

Hinata: Die please

Kageyama: Baby

Hinata: WHY WOULD YOU EMBARRASS ME OIKAWA THAT WASN’T EVEN WHAT I MEANT AHHH

Kageyama: Baby

Hinata: KAGEYAMA STOP THAT

Kageyama: Sorry?

Hinata: No I’m just embarrassed

Asahi: When their plans to go to Tokyo is in the groupchat ☺️

Chapter Text

Tsukki FUCKS

Akaashi: Guess what Kenma just did

Kenma: Die.

Akaashi: YOU die.

Kenma: I hate you and I wish I never met you

Kuroo: Omg

Sugawara: What did he do?

Kenma: We went to go get bagels together right?

Kenma: And I get nervous going to new places

Kuroo: Which is normal!!!!!!!

Akaashi: YES TO AN EXTENT 

Kenma: I DIDN’T READ THE MENU ENOUGH

Akaashi: YOU DON’T NEED TO READ IT A MILLION TIMES

Kenma: I’M NERVOUS

Kuroo: WHICH IS NORMAL

Kenma: THANK YOU KURO

Akaashi: DO YOU WANT TO TELL THEM WHAT YOU DID OR SHOULD I

Kenma: WHY ARE YOU ATTACKING ME

Bokuto: He hasn’t stopped laughing since he got home

Kuroo: Kenma too but he seems so distressed

Kuroo: WAIT AHHAHAHA KENMA JUST TOLD ME WHAT HAPPENED

Kuroo: HE’S CRYING HAHA

Oikawa: I WANT CONTEXT

Kenma: I asked Akaashi what he usually gets because he’s been to this palce before

Kenma: He told me

Kenam: I got to the counter

Kenma: GOT NERVOUS

Kenma: SO SO SO NERVOUS

Kenma: I WANTED TO DIE ON THE SPOT 

Kenma: AND I ORDERED A PLAIN BAGEL

Kenma: the lady goes “ plain?”

Akaashi: and he goes “yes” and he’s all STUTTERING AND NERVOUS AND I CAN TELL HE WANTS TO DIE

Kenma: AND SHE GLARED AT ME?

Kenma: I’M SORRY I’M NERVOUS

Oikawa: KENMA YOU’RE SO USELESS

Kenma: SHUT UP

Oikawa: YOU CAN’T EVEN ORDER A BAGEL

Kenma: I PANICKED OKAY

Sugawara: Kenma how does this stuff happen to you

Kenma: It’s because the universe has a vendetta against me for being too awesome 

Sugawara: Sure

 

-

 

Tsukishima: Tadashi, would you like to explain to everyone what you’re doing right now?

Yamaguchi: Idk what you’re talking about Tsukki!

Sugawara: Oh god

Hinata: Oh no

Tsukishima: It’s okay.

Tsukishima: Just explain it like you explained it to me

Yamaguchi: You called me an idiot!

Tsukishima: Because you are!

Yamaguchi: Whatever

Yamaguchi: i bought a body pillow

Yamaguchi: Because I’ve been missing my Tsukki cuddles 

Tsukishima: Ew don’t say that

Yamaguchi: It’s true!

Yamaguchi: Anyway. It’s really fluffy

Yamaguchi: Like it’s the kind of fluffy pillow that you see in the store and run your hand along because it’s so so soft

Yamaguchi: And I bought it and washed it because duh

Yamaguchi: And then without thinking about it put it in the dryer

Sugawara: Oh no lol

Yamaguchi: AND NOW IT’S NOT FLUFFY IT JUST FEELS HORRIBLE

Oikawa: We’ve all been there

Iwaizumi: No we haven’t 

Iwaizumi: You have because you’re an idiot

Oikawa: Mean!

Yamaguchi: And that’s it! The pillow is ruined

Tsukishima: Tadashi

Yamaguchi: Fine!

Yamaguchi: And now i’m brushing it because I refuse to give up

Hinata: You’re brushing it?

Yamaguchi: With a comb

Yamaguchi: My arm is so tired

Yamaguchi: And I’m only done with a small corner

Yamaguchi: Tsukki will you come over and help? 

Tsukishima: No.

Yamaguchi: Why are you breaking up with me in the groupchat?

Sugawara: Tsukishima, wtf. Don’t bring a break-up into a groupchat

Oikawa: Omg! I can’t believe I just watched Yamaguchi get his heart broken!

Hinata: Yamaguchi! Are you alright? I can’t believe this is happening to you..

Tsukishima: All of you are annoying

Oikawa: Where’s Kuroo, he’s being oddly silent

Kuroo: Sorry, I was sucking dick

Kuroo: Let me read the chat

Oikawa: You don’t have to tell us why you weren’t active but ok

Kuroo: Yamaguchi don’t use a comb, just use a brush. It won’t be as fluffy but it’ll still be really soft

Kuroo: And it takes a lot less time

Yamaguchi: Thank you Kuroo!

Yamaguchi: Kuroo be my new boyfriend!

Tsukishima: No. Stop.

Kuroo: I’d love to Yamaguchi 🥰 Come to Tokyo, I’ll treat you right

Kenma: Stop it

 

-

 

Yamaguchi: TSUKKI BOUGHT ME A NEW PILLOW

Yamaguchi: attached image

Yamaguchi: And then he fell asleep on it so basically it’s my new favorite pillow because he bought it and it’s green and it’s his favorite color and now it’s going to smell like him 

Yamaguchi: I’m living in paradise

Tsukishima: When did you take that

Kageyama: He took it when you were sleeping. Did you even look at the picture

Tsukishima: Butt-out, asshole

Kageyama: Just pointing out the obvious, four-eyes.

Daichi: Stop it, you two 

Sugawara: Anyway! That’s so cute!

Sugawara: Yamaguchi, you’re so cute!

Kuroo: Noooo Tsukishima stop being such a good boyfriend! He’s dating me!

Tsukishima: Go away Kuroo

Kenma: Go away Kuro

Kuroo: WELL IF THAT’S HOW YOU ALL FEEL

Kenma: It is

Kuroo: Kenma, why are you breaking up with me in the groupchat?

Oikawa: Shut up

Hinata: Shut up

Sugawara: Shut up

Kuroo: WHY DOES IT WORK FOR YAMAGUCHI BUT NOT ME

Yamaguchi: Because I’m cute

Kuroo: I’M CUTE

Kuroo: WTF

Kuroo: SOMEONE ANSWER

Kuroo: I’M CUTE

Kuroo: KENMA TELL ME I’M CUTE

Kuroo: GUYS

 

-

 

Kenma: Kuro! I named my starter after you!

Kuroo: AWWW AGAIN?

Kenma: Yes!

Hinata: You’re still doing that?

Kenma: Yes!

Oikawa: Starter?

Kenma: Pokemon, dumbass.

Oikawa: HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT WHEN YOU GAVE NO CONTEXT

Sugawara: Wow Oikawa, you really surprise me sometimes!

Oikawa: What does that mean?

Sugawara: Everyone knows Pokemon terminology. You’re a bigger idiot than I thought!!

Oikawa: WHY ARE YOU BULLYING ME

Oikawa: IWA-CHAN

Iwaizumi: Omg lol guys leave Oikawa alone

Oikawa: Iwa-chan 💖💓

Kuroo: Iwaizumi omg you’re standing up for him

Kuroo: Ur gonna make me act up 😳😳

Asahi: I’m going to ignore whatever that was and ask the obvious

Asahi: Hinata what do you mean?

Hinata: Kenma always names his starter Pokemon after Kuroo

Daichi: Why?

Kenma: I don’t know lolol

Kuroo: Yes you do

Hinata: Yes you do

Oikawa: Yes you do

Daichi: ???

Kenma: IT’S EMBARRASSING 

Tsukishima: If you didn’t want anyone to ask then why did you bring it up in the chat?

Kenma: I THOUGHT THEY WOULD TAKE IDK AS AN ANSWER

Akaashi: It’s because the starters are with you from the beginning, and Kuroo’s been there since the beginning

Kenma: WHEN TF DID I TELL YOU THAT

Akaashi: When we got high last weekend

Kenma: O yeah

Kuroo: YES YES YES 

Kuroo: THAT’S SO CUTE KENMA I WANT TO SLIP AND FALL ON MY FACE AND DIE

Kenma: YOU ALREADY KNEW WHY I DID THAT

Kuroo: BUT IT’S STILL SO CUTE

Kenma: IT’S EMBARRASSING 

Sugawara: It is embarrassing 

Kenma: Shut UP

Sugawara: But it’s cute!

Hinata: Yeah!

Oikawa: No it’s not. I’m gagging

Kuroo: I’LL KILL YOU

Chapter Text

Tsukki FUCKS

Daichi: I want kids

Daichi: Suga is so good with kids

Sugawara: Daichi make me pregnant

  Daichi: Suga your niece is NAPPING ON THE COUCH

Sugawara: Daichi make me pregnant when we get home

Sugawara: 😚

Daichi: 😚

Oikawa: I don’t like that

Oikawa: How did Daichi end up with such a pervert

Daichi: He’s not a pervert

Daichi: He’s perfect

Tsukishima: Yuck

Sugawara: Daichi 😍😍

Kuroo: Anyways

Kuroo: What made you want kids suddenly

Daichi: Well not right now! But eventually

Daichi: Me and Suga are watching his niece and she’s so cute

Daichi: Suga’s just so good with kids and like

Daichi: He’d look perfect with a little baby

Sugawara: No no no

Sugawara: We’d look perfect with a little baby

Sugawara: SHUT UP ME AND DAICHI AS PARENTS OMG

Sugawara: Daichi Daichi Daichi

Sugawara: We’d be the best parents ever

Sugawara: OMGOMG

Asahi: Lmaooo calm down

Sugawara: I just want to marry Daichi

Sugawara: I’m so in love with him and like

Sugawara: uGHHH IM SO IN LOVE WITH DAICHI LIKE I CANT EXPLAIN HOW I FEEL

Daichi: Stop lol

Sugawara: I CANNOT IM JUST SO IN LOVE WITH MY DAICHI I WANT TO CRY

Daichi: No no no no no don’t cry please

Sugawara: You just don’t know how it feels to be in love with you

Kuroo: I do lol

Kenma: Please don’t ruin their cute moment

Sugawara: I’m gonna ignore that

Kuroo: Sorry lol I had to

Sugawara: Anyways

Sugawara: Daichi, you’re like the best man I know and just ugh one day I wanna get married and start a family and just be in love forever

Daichi: Stop stop stop I’m so embarrassed this is the groupchat suga

Sugawara: It’s fine it’s fine

Daichi: We’ll get married one day, I know it!

Kageyama: I kinda want to cry

Sugawara: oh? What’s wrong?

Kageyama: I just

Kageyama: You guys are so in love

Kageyama: Like I knew that but you’re just so in love and it’s so cute

Daichi: Aw Kageyama

Oikawa: When he’s showing emotion what

Oikawa: Why is Tobio suddenly so vulnerable 

Sugawara: Thinking about how he could’ve been your son if you didn’t try to hit him

Oikawa: Stop that

Iwaizumi: Nice going idiot

Oikawa: STOP THAT ITS FINE SHOUYOU IS OUR SON

Oikawa: Speaking of Shouyou, where is he?

Kageyama: He hasn’t woken up from his nap

Kageyama: attached image

Kenma: CUTE CUTE 

Kageyama: Yes :-)

Asahi: This entire conversation started with Suga being horny?

Nishinoya: AS HE SHOULD BE

Asahi: You scare me

Nishinoya: STOP THAT

 

-

 

Akaashi: The weather is horrible today

Akaashi: I’m so cold

Bokuto: AKAASHI I CAN BRING MY BLANKET OVER

Akaashi: Okay 🥰

Bokuto: YAY OKAY IM ON MY WAY

Kenma: why his blancket

Oikawa: blancket what the fuck

Akaashi: He has a weighted one

Kenna: He’s gonna walk to your place with a weighted blanket??

Akaashi: Yes because he loves me

Bokuto: YES BECAUSE I LOVE HIM

Akaashi: I have oranges Bokuto

Bokuto: YES OKAY IM ALMOST THERE

Akaashi: the door is unlocked 

Bokuto: :-)

Hinata: it’s SNOWING KAGEYAMA PLEASE COME OVER SO WE CAN PLAY

Kageyama: No

Hinata: BUT YAMAGUCHI IS HERE

Kageyama: maybe later

Hinata: SO YOU’LL COME OVER FOR YAMAGUCHI BUT NOT ME

Kageyama: No idiot, I just don’t want to go right now

Hinata: OKAY TEXT ME WHEN YOURE ON YOUR WAY

Hinata: I’ll make cookies for you!!

Kageyama: DO NOT TOUCH THE OVEN

Yamaguchi: I’ll help him!

Kageyama: okay good 

Kageyama: Thanks

Kenma: Why can’t he use the oven

Kageyama: He sets the smoke alarm off so much

Hinata: IT WAS ONLY LIKE 4 TIMES

Kageyama: IN ONE WEEK

Oikawa: 4 TIMES ARE YOU SERIOUS SHOUYOU IDIOT

Hinata: LEAVE ME ALONE

 

-

 

Kenma: Someone write a fanfic about me and Kuro

Kuroo: YES

Akaashi: No

Kenma: PLEASE ITD BE SO FUN I PROMISE

Oikawa: Then you write it

Kenma: Don’t tell me what to do

Hinata: Why do you want that

Kenma: Because think about it

Kenma: THATS FUNNY

Hinata: I guess

Kenma: it’s the least you can do after I wrote the one about you and KAGEYAMA

Hinata: SHUT UP I FORGOT ABOUT THAT THAT IS SO EMBARRASSING 

Hinata: AND I DIDNT ASK FOR ONE, YOU JUST WROTE IT 

Kageyama: wut

Hinata: NOTHINGS

Kenma: PLEASE

Hinata: FINE GOD OKAY ILL THINK OF AN AU

Akaashi: is no one going to talk about Kenma’s random liking for fanfiction

Akaashi: Like he has talked about fanfics twice now? Maybe more

Kenma: And what about it?

Akaashi: You’re a weirdo

Chapter Text

Kenma changed the group name to Kuro is OVER PARTY I HATE HIM I HATE HIM

Kuroo: Kenma

Kuroo: Kenmaaaa

Kuroo: Babyyyyyy

Kuroo: Kittennnnn

Kuroo: Baaaaaabeeeeeee

Kuroo: Honeyyyyyy

Kenma: Don’t call me honey

Kenma: I’m mad at you don’t even talk to me

Akaashi: what is happening

Oikawa: HONEY AHAHA

Kuroo: Kenma is ignoring me

Kenma: HE THREW MY WATER BOTTLES AWAY

Oikawa: We all know your water bottles are a problem

Kenma: THEY ARE NOT A PROBLEM

Kuroo: THEY WERE ALL EMPTY

Kuroo: EVERYTIME I WOULD MOVE ON YOUR BED YOU COULD HEAR THE CRACKLE OF A MILLION WATER BOTTLES

Kenma: THERE WERE NOT A MILLION

Kuroo: YEAH OKAY THERE WEREN’T

Kuroo: I COUNTED THEM, THERE WERE 84

Oikawa: KENMA 

Akaashi: Thank god Kuroo cleaned them out

Kenma: I wanted to clean them MYSELF BECAUSE THEY’RE EMBARRASSING

Kuroo: Out of everything, why would water bottles be embarrassing

Kenma: BECAUSE THEY ARE

Kuroo: IDIOT YOU’VE LITERALLY SAT ON MY FACE BUT YOU’RE EMBARRASSED ABOUT EMPTY WATER BOTTLES 

Kenma: YES IDIOT

Kuroo: YOU’RE AN IDIOT

Kuroo: IF YOU CLEAN THEM UP THEN YOU WON’T GET EMBARRASSED

Kenma: STOP

Iwaizumi: What a dumb argument

Kenma: iTS NOT DUMB

Oikawa: It is

Akaashi: It is

Hinata: it is

Tanaka: It literally is so dumb

Nishinoya: RYUUUUU

Tanaka: YUUUUU

Nishinoya: 😍

Tanaka: 😍

Kuroo: I’m right Kenma so come over here, forgive me, and kiss me 

Kenma: fine.

Iwaizumi: Can we go back to the fact that Kuroo called Kenma honey

Kuroo: i knew it would get his attention 😎

Kenma: It scares me

Akaashi: If anyone EVER called me honey 🤢

Nishinoya: OMG DO YOU THINK KAGEYAMA AND HINATA HAVE LIKE PET NAMES 

Hinata: No

Kageyama: Yes

Hinata: NO

Kageyama: What?

Kenma: Why must you always lie Shouyou

Nishinoya: OMG WHAT DO YOU CALL EACH OTHER

Kageyama: It’s nothing creative

Kageyama: i just call him baby sometimes

Oikawa: Nothing to switch things up a bit?

Oikawa: Sunshine?

Kenma: Bright ass orange head bitch?

Hinata: HEY

Oikawa: Tangerine fuck?

Hinata: Why does this HAPPEN TO ME? I'M A GOOD PERSON

Oikawa: Overexcited bright hair stupid idiot?

Hinata: I HATE YOU BOTH DIE

Kageyama: Nope, just Hinata or baby.

Kageyama: Or Shouyou

Akaashi: I can’t even imagine Kageyama saying baby

Hinata: It’s very 🤤

Kageyama: You’re embarrassing 

Daichi: Baby is cute

Daichi: I call Suga that

Sugawara: Daichi also calls me beautiful, gorgeous, angel

Daichi: They don’t need to know that

Sugawara: And I call him daddy but that’s not really a pet name lol

Nishinoya: YES AHAH SUGA

Oikawa: HAHAHA

Daichi: Why do you always do things like this?

Sugawara: 😇

 

-

 

Oikawa: I want a kid

Iwaizumi: I told you not yet

Oikawa: Iwa-chan pleeeeaaaaseeeee

Sugawara: What inspired this?

Oikawa: I saw the CUTEST little boy on TikTok. Like his mom makes tiktoks of him and he is so precious

Oikawa: MY SEROTONIN IS THROUGH THE ROOF AND ME AND IWA-CHAN JUST CUDDLED AND WATCHED THEIR TIKTOKS ALL DAY

Iwaizumi: He started crying like halfway through

Oikawa: BECAUSE THEY’RE SUCH A CUTE FAMILY LIKE WTF

Oikawa: He always says thank you mama like I WANT ONE

Iwaizumi: You do not need a child

Oikawa: i DONT NEED A KID I DONT NEED A KID I CANT TAKE CARE OF MYSELF I DONT NEED A KID

Iwaizumi: Yes

Oikawa: BUT I WANT ONE SO BAD

Oikawa: I WANT A CUTE KID THATS JUST SO POLITE AND SWEET AND CUTE

Iwaizumi: How about after college? Once we finally settle down somewhere we can look into adoption

Oikawa: Iwa-chan 🥺

Akaashi: Aww that's cute 

Bokuto: AKAASHI DO YOU WANT KIDS

Akaashi: I’d love to have kids one day

Bokuto: YOU’D BE SUCH A GOOD PARENT AKAASHI OMGOMG

Akaashi: You’re gonna be a great parent too 🥰

Bokuto: AKAASHI 🥰 I WANT TO KISS YOU

Akaashi: lol you can come over after work

Akaashi: Sleep over

Bokuto: We can walk to class together tomorrow!!!!!

Yamaguchi: Kids scare me teehee

Tsukishima: lol ❤️

Yamaguchi: ❤️

Iwaizumi: lol why?

Yamaguchi: Idk they make me uncomfy and like

Yamaguchi: What do I even say to a kid? We have nothing in common

Yamaguchi: And like, idk how to carry a baby

Yamaguchi: And they’re so gross sometimes. I’d have to teach them to not be gross

Sugawara: It’ll come naturally, I guess

Yamaguchi: to you maybe because you are a mom

Sugawara: Aw thank you!

Daichi: LMAO

Kenma: I think Kuro’s influence is too strong and our kid would be embarrassing 

Kuroo: I agree

Kuroo: We wouldn’t want our kid to be a total fucking hot piece of ass with great legs and great abs and just the best personality and literally a genius

Kenma: No, we wouldn’t want our kid to be a weirdo that pisses me off

Yamaguchi: Wow goals

 

-

 

Daichi: Iwaizumi, are you still coming over?

Iwaizumi: Oh shit, I forgot to text you lmao

Iwaizumi: I’m on my way!

Oikawa: What?! 

Oikawa: Where are you going???

Oikawa: I wanna come too!!!

Iwaizumi: Boys day

Kuroo: ME TOO

Bokuto: HEY ME TOO

Daichi: You guys live far away, lol. I told you already that we’ll visit you soon

Oikawa: AM I NOT A BOY TOO

Iwaizumi: No. You’re an idiot

Oikawa: IWA-CHAN WHY DO YOU HATE ME WHEN ALL I DO IS LOVE YOU

Oikawa: Is Suga gonna be there?

Daichi: 🙃

Akaashi: Oh my

Akaashi: What does that mean

Iwaizumi: No, he’s not gonna be there

Oikawa: Where is he???

Daichi: He has some school work to do 🙃

Kuroo: LMAOOOO DAICHI

Oikawa: I FEEL LIKE I’M BEING EXCLUDED AND IT FEELS LONELYYY

Akaashi: it kind of does lol

Kuroo: Daichi is jealous 😎

Oikawa: omg why why why

Daichi: Nothing, just

Daichi: Suga has a group project that he’s doing

Daichi: And one of the group members likes him

Daichi: Like, Suga and I were drinking and we invited some friends over

Daichi: And this guy kept like, touching Suga and flirting with him

Daichi: I WAS SITTING RIGHT THERE WHO JUST DOES THAT

Daichi: MY ARM WAS AROUND HIS WAIST AND SUGA WAS LIKE LEANING ON ME AND THIS GUY KEPT LIKE FLIRTING AND LEANING CLOSER

Daichi: AND SUGA WOULD JUST FUCKING GIGGLE INTO MY NECK BECAUSE HE WAS DRUNK AS FUCK

Daichi: LIKE STAY AWAY FROM MY BOYFRIEND PLEASE

Daichi: Idk idk idk idk it’s whatever

Daichi: Like Suga is totally fine but the guy just pisses me off

Iwaizumi: Therefore, boys day to get his mind off of things :-)

Oikawa: I see I see

Nishinoya: Jealous Daichi 🥵

Tanaka: Jealous Daichi 🤤

Kuroo: Jealous Daichi 😳

Bokuto: The jealous angry combo 🥵😤

Iwaizumi: I’m almost there btw

Oikawa: Jealous Daichi jealous Daichi jealous Daichi

Bokuto changed the group name to Daichi bout to make me act up😳🥴

 

-

 

Sugawara and Daichi 

Sugawara: I’m back!

Sugawara: And my project is finished!

Daichi: I’m sure you’ll get a good grade

Sugawara: Thanks lol 💗

Sugawara: How was “boys day”

Daichi: haha good. Me and Iwaizumi just went out to eat and then had a few drinks.

Daichi: Nothing too crazy. He just left a little bit ago

Sugawara: Sooo

Sugawara: You’re free now?

Daichi: Yup

Sugawara: Do you wannaaaaaa

Sugawara: Get high and makeout?

Sugawara: And then fuck?

Daichi: Lmaooooo you’re insane

Daichi: omw

Sugawara: 😚

Daichi: 😚

Chapter Text

Daichi bout to make me act up😳🥴

Kenma: GUYS

Kenma: I FIGURED IT OUT

Oikawa: What

Kuroo: What

Nishinoya: What

Kenma: I KNOW WHY PHILIP IN HAMILTON MAKES ME CRY

Oikawa: Omg lol

Oikawa: Why?

Kenma: He reminds me of Shouyou!

Hinata: What

Hinata: HOW

Sugawara: HAHAHA H O W 

Kenma: Hear me out!

Kenma: Philip is embarrassing 

Kenma: Shouyou is embarrassing

Hinata: Jerk!

Kenma: Philip is weirdly pure and innocent

Kenma: Shouyou is weirdly pure and innocent

Kenma: And he’s just trying his best???

Hinata: You’re insane

Oikawa: No, I can see it. I can see it

Kenma: YES

Kenma: AND HE MAKES ME CRY

Oikawa: LMAO KENMA SHUT UP WE KNOW

Kenma: Shouyou please don’t ever die

Hinata: What

Kenma: PLEASE DON’T DIE BEFORE ME

Kenma: I DON’T THINK I’LL BE AB;E TO HANDLE IT

Kuroo: kenma why ARE YOU CRYING

Kenma: I CAN’T STOP

Kenma: SHOUYOU DON’T DIE BEFORE ME

Sugawara: KENMA HAHA WHAT IS THIS

Hinata: I CAN’T CONTROL WHEN I DIE

Kenma: SHOUYOU 

Kuroo: HINATA DO SOMETHING HE WON’T STOP 

Hinata: KENMA YOU’RE BEING SO WEIRD

Kenma: I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

Hinata: STOP

Oikawa: I CAN’T BREATHE HAHA

Kuroo: HINATA PLEASE

Hinata: AHHHH

Kenma: DON’T DIE BEFORE ME

Kenma: I’LL HAVE TO MOVE UPTOWN AND CRY EVERYDAY

Sugawara: HAHAHAH

Hinata: KENMA PLEASE

 

-

 

Hinata and Kenma

Hinata: STOP CRYING IN THE GROUPCHAT

Kenma: I LOVE YOU

Kenma: I MISS YOU SO MUCH

Kenma: YOU’RE ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS

Hinata: STOP

Kenma: I CAN’T

Incoming call from: Ew Shouyou

 

-

 

Akaashi changed the group name to I’m stupid and not suited for life

Oikawa: What

Bokuto: THAT’S NOT TRUE

Kenma: What

Akaashi: I’m having a bit of a breakdown

Bokuto: DO I NEED TO COME OVER?

Akaashi: If you want to

Bokuto: OMW OMW OMW OMW

Sugawara: Why are you having a breakdown?

Akaashi: Okay so like

Akaashi: First year of university my major was biology because I convinced myself I wanted to be a doctor because my family wanted me to be one

Akaashi: I was so bad at like all of the classes and just SUFFERING

Akaashi: AND I HATED IT

Akaashi: So then I changed my major to education

Akaashi: BUT I FEEL LIKE I’M WASTING TIME

Bokuto: YOU’RE NOT AKAASHI

Bokuto: YOU LOVE WHAT YOU’RE DOING

Akaashi: Yes but what if I love something else more???

Akaashi: And now for some reason I want to change it to architecture?? 

Akaashi: It’s so late in my school career I can’t change my major now

Kenma: You only have one semester’s worth of credits for education. It’s not too late

Akaashi: STILL

Oikawa: I vote that you don’t change it!

Nishinoya: I think you should! If you think you’ll be happier, then why not? Take classes for it for a semester and if you don’t like it then there’s no harm! You can just change it back and pick up where you left off! There’s no time limit on figuring out what you want to do. As long as you’re learning and happy, then you’re not wasting any time! There’s no deadline for this kinda stuff

Oikawa: Noya! That was surprisingly wise!

Nishinoya: Thank you!

Tanaka: YUU!

Nishinoya: RYU!

Hinata: If you’re happy with what you’re doing now then why do you want to change it?

Akaashi: I feel like I’m settling!!

Sugawara: Then change it! You’d be such a cute architect!

Bokuto: AWWW A CUTE ARCHITECT BF?

Bokuto: CUTE

Akaashi: Shut up, Bokuto

Akaashi: Ok ok. I think I’m going to. Just like what Nishinoya said. It’s fine

Nishinoya: YESS

Akaashi: Actually, no, wait. I have to think about it

Oikawa: Smart!

Akaashi: AHHHHH

Bokuto: Akaashi I’m here!

Akaashi: The door is unlocked

Bokuto: Guess who’s going to get a MILLION KISSES 

Nishinoya: YESSSSSS

Bokuto: I LOVE YOU AKAASHI

Akaashi: Come in and say it to my face!

Bokuto: OKAY

Kenma: Bokuto and Akaashi I’m obsessed with you guys. Ur so cute i can’t breathe

Kuroo: ME TOO ME TOO 

Oikawa: Um ?

Kenma: Yes?

Oikawa: Me and Iwa-chan are cuter

Kenma: No you’re not but nice try, idiot. ❤️

Oikawa: So you hate me

Kenma: Yes

Oikawa: WTF

 

-

 

Oikawa: UM?

Sugawara: Yes?

Oikawa: U M?

Sugawara: YES?

Oikawa: UUUMMM???

Kenma: Spit it OUT TOORU

Oikawa: I JUST 

Oikawa: I’M JUST

Nishinoya: WHAT

Oikawa: I just found out from Kuroo 

Oikawa: THAT 

Oikawa: FUCKING TERUSHIMA 

Oikawa: TOLD HIM THAT WE’RE “””””””TALKING””””””?

Oikawa: BITCH I HAVE A BOYFRIEND

Iwaizumi: What?

Iwaizumi: What did he say?

Oikawa: So he’s been texting me so much recently

Oikawa: And like calling me baby and stuff

Iwaizumi: What?

Iwaizumi: I didn’t know that. You didn’t tell me that.

Oikawa: Iwa-chan I knew you’d get mad and it’s not a big deal so don’t stress

Oikawa: I don’t even answer him

Iwaizumi: Give me his number

Oikawa: No Iwa-chan!! You’ll scare him!

Iwaizumi: Good

Oikawa: No!

Oikawa: Anyway. I started to feel bad, because he told Kuroo that I was so mean to him and always ignored him

Kuroo: I shouldn’t have told you that

Iwaizumi: Kuroo do you have his number?

Kuroo: I do not

Kuroo: I have a class with him, and he saw me facetiming Oikawa in class once so now he talks about him all the time

Kenma: You two facetime?

Daichi: IN CLASS?

Kuroo: Yes

Oikawa: Yes

Daichi: Don’t do that in class

Kuroo: Don’t lecture me, Daddy

Sugawara: I’ll kill you

Oikawa: haha ANYWAY

Oikawa: I FELT SO BAD

Iwaizumi: Don’t. I’ll kill him

Oikawa: SO I STARTED ANSWERING BUT WITH REALLY SHORT ANSWERS LIKE ‘Cool.’ or ‘Ok.’ AND THAT’S IT

Oikawa: I DON’T MAKE CONVERSATION AND I LET TOPICS DIE SO QUICKLY AND I STILL LEAVE HIM ON READ ALL THE TIME

Oikawa: AND THIS IDIOT WAS TALKING TO KUROO

Oikawa: AND STARTED BRAGGING BECAUSE APPARENTLY NOW WE’RE TALKING

Oikawa: AND NOW HE SENDS ME GOODNIGHT TEXTS ALL THE TIME

Oikawa: LIKE

Oikawa: goodnight cutie ❤️

Oikawa: I’M SICK!!!!

Iwaizumi: Give me his number

Oikawa: No!

Iwaizumi: Give me your phone

Oikawa: No!

Kuroo: He wants to ask you out again

Oikawa: UGH

Iwaizumi: Give me your phone

Oikawa: What are you going to say?

Iwaizumi: Just that u can’t go out with him

Oikawa: Oh okay

Iwaizumi: Because you’re too busy getting fucked by your boyfriend

Iwaizumi: And sucking his dick because you love him

Kuroo: I CAN’T BREATHE

Kenma: HAHAHA

Sugawara: IWAIZUMI DON’T BE SO 

Sugawara: SO ??!??!?!

Sugawara: SO JEALOUS

Kuroo: Coming from you

Sugawara: SHUT UP

Iwaizumi: I’m doing it

Oikawa: IWA-CHAN I’M EMBARRASSED!

Iwaizumi: I’m doing it

Akaashi: Why not just block him?

Akaashi: Crazy, I know

Oikawa: I FEEL BAD

Iwaizumi: I’m gonna kill him

Oikawa: IWA-CHAN STOP

Sugawara: I think jealous Iwaizumi is my favorite.

Chapter Text

I’m stupid and not suited for life

Hinata: Attached image

Hinata: He’s making me breakfast

Akaashi: It’s almost 2

Kenma: HES MAKING HIM BREAKFAST

Kenma: Kuro I want breakfast

Kuroo: We had breakfast like 5 hours ago

Kuroo: When it was time for breakfast

Kuroo: I’ll make you dinner though

Kenma: 💗💗

Akaashi: Why are you two up so late anyways

Hinata: We were tired

 

Nishinoya changed the group name to Kageyama fucks??? 

 

Hinata: No no no 

Hinata: We went to the gym super super late lol

Hinata: And we were super restless when we got back to his place so we stayed up and played video games

 

Nishinoya changed the group name to I’m disappointed :-(

 

Kuroo: I’m also disappointed

Kuroo: Why didn’t he fuck

Hinata: Because we didn’t feel like it???

Oikawa: Lame answer

Hinata: WHY

Kenma: WHY DIDNT HE FUCK

Hinata: STOP STOP STOP IDK IDK IDK

Sugawara: Guys stop

Sugawara: Leave them alone

Hinata: Thank you

Sugawara: They can just be boring as fuck and keep their sex life to themselves 

Tsukishima: LMAO

Asahi: For once I’m not the shyest person in the chat

Yamaguchi: kinda weird that it’s Hinata now lol

Tanaka: HAHAH WTF HINATA WHY ARE YOU SO SHY WHEN IT COMES TO KAGEYAMA

Hinata: FINE FINE FINE

Hinata: WE WERE GOING TO BUT 

Hinata: I FELL ASLEEP

Nishinoya: What

Nishinoya: WHAT

Nishinoya: WHAT AHAH

Nishinoya: YOU FELL ASLEEP WHEN YOU GUYS WERE GONNA FUCK AHAH

Tanaka: HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN AHAHAH

Hinata: I DONT KNOW WE GOT HOME FROM THE GYM AND LIKE SHOWERED AND PLAYED SOME VIDEO GAMES AND LIKE THINGS STARTED HAPPENING

Hinata: AND LIKE IT WAS SO LATE AND WE SPENT HOURS WORKING OUT

Hinata: I TOOK A WARM BATH

Hinata: I WAS WEARING HIS SHIRT

Hinata: IDK I WAS SO COMFY I JUST FELL ASLEEP WHILE HE WAS KISSING ME

Hinata: IDK IDK KAGEYAMA IS JUST SO 

Hinata: HES SO

Hinata: GWAHH AND WARM AND HES JUST SO KAGEYAMA

Hinata: I FELL ASLEEP BECAUSE HES SO GENTLE IDK IDK IDK

Hinata: IF YOUVE EVER KISSED HIM YOU WOULD KNOW

Oikawa: Maybe Iwa-Chan knows

Iwaizumi: Do not make this about us

Hinata: Don’t remind me about that

Tsukishima: That’s actually

Tsukishima: So stupid Hinata

Tsukishima: You are so dumb

Hinata: STOP IT WASN’T IN MY CONTROL

Hinata: I was so embarrassed when we woke up so he made me breakfast

Kenma: You should be making him breakfast

Kenma: He’s probably so embarrassed 

Kenma: HE HAD TO FIND OUT THAT YOU WERE ASLEEP IDIOT

Hinata: STOP DONT TELL ME THAT THATS SO EMBARRASSING 

Bokuto: HAHAHAHAH I CANT BREATHE THIS IS SO DUMB

Hinata: I CANT COOK WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO

Nishinoya: Suck his dick!

Okinawa: Suck his dick!

Sugawara: Suck his dick!

Kenna: SUCK HIS DICK!!

Hinata: AHHH

Kageyama left the group

Tsukishima: LMAO

Akaashi: lol

Kuroo: MY MAN NOOOO COME BACK

Kuroo added Kageyama to the group

Bokuto: Welcome back!!!!! :-)

Kageyama left the group

Bokuto: :-(

Akaashi added Kageyama to the group

Sugawara: Stop leaving

Kageyama: This is embarrassing 

Kageyama: You guys make Shouyou so weird

Sugawara: We simply encourage him because if we don’t he won’t do ANYTHING

Hinata: HEY

Oikawa: Shouyou, you would’ve still thought you were straight if it weren’t for us

Tanaka: That still makes me laugh

Hinata: stop that ☹️

Kageyama: Whatever

Kageyama: Your food is ready idiot

Kageyama: I have to clean soon too

Hinata: your place is literally so clean wut

Hinata: ew ew ew ew nevermind ew don’t talk to me

Sugawara: Wut

Hinata: Hoshiumi is coming over🤢🤢

Kageyama: Stop that

Hinata: He always wants to compete with me

Kageyama: You always start it dumbass

Kenma: Everyone's energy is incredible today

 

-

 

Sugawara: Lol I want to sleep forever

Sugawara: Daichi come over

Daichi: I’m about to submit my essay then I’ll be right over

Asahi: When they make plans in the groupchat

Sugawara: I’m having a bad day, can I please get a pass?

Asahi: Only because Daichi will beat me up if I don’t give you one

Bokuto: you are 5000 feet taller than him

Asahi: I think you underestimate Daichi’s strength

Asahi: He has put so much fear in me since we were first years at Karasuno

Daichi: Maybe if you didn’t give me reasons to be mad, I wouldn’t have to resort to using my strength

Asahi: That’s scary

Sugawara: That’s hot

Sugawara: Daichi I feel ugly so hurry up and make me feel pretty lol

Daichi: You are pretty

Sugawara: apparently not pretty enough for you because you aren’t here

Daichi: I’m putting my shoes on right now

Daichi: And stop that Suga, you’re the prettiest person I’ve ever met

Kenma: Imagine looking like Suga and thinking you’re ugly lmao

Sugawara: Stop stop stop

Daichi: Suga, I’m bringing you dinner by the way

Sugawara: 😡

Sugawara: I want to be skinty 

Daichi: It’s something light

Sugawara: You’re gonna show up with a whole pizza, I know it

Daichi: Incorrect

Daichi: We’re making pasta together

Sugawara: “light”

Daichi: Pasta and a ✨salad ✨

Daichi: I just want you to eat a little of both

Sugawara: 😡

Kuroo: Word on the street is that pasta makes your ass fat

Sugawara: hm

Sugawara: maybe I’ll eat some pasta then

Daichi: Good

Sugawara: Is my ass not fat enough for you???

Daichi: No, I just want my boyfriend to eat something

Sugawara: I’ll have you know, I had breakfast this morning

Daichi: an iced vanilla latte

Sugawara: Yes, breakfast

Daichi: I’ll be over in 20 minutes

Sugawara: THATS NOT FAST ENOUGH

Daichi: lmao okay, then do you want to go to the store with me?

Sugawara: Yes

Sugawara: I want to hold your hand

Sugawara: lol

Sugawara: Yeah you got that something

Sugawara: I think you’ll understand

Sugawara: When I tell you something

Sugawara: I wanna hold your hand

Sugawara: Daichi that’s our song of the day

Daichi: lol okay 💗

Oikawa: Suga is awfully needy today

Sugawara: it’s because I look ugly so I need reassurance from Daichi 

Sugawara: I’m toxic

Akaashi: You’re not ugly

Akaashi: you’re very pretty

Sugawara: AKAASHI

Akaashi: lol 🥰

Sugawara: THE PRETTIEST BITCH HERE CALLED ME PRETTY STOP

Oikawa: um

Oikawa: Where am I on this pretty scale??

Sugawara: Right by Akaashi of course

Sugawara: Then Kenma and Yamaguchi. They’re right next to each other because they’re both that pretty and cute mix

Yamaguchi: Aw suga 💖

Kenma: I’m so embarrassed 

Oikawa: Where are you on this list?

Sugawara: I’m not on it?

Yamaguchi: wut

Oikawa: you ARE ON THIS LIST

Sugawara: I’m on the ugliest bitch on earth list

Daichi: Suga, I’m here

Daichi: And stop saying things like that

Sugawara: I’m being truthful

Daichi: would you get your gorgeous ass down here so we can go to the store?

Sugawara: I’m out of lip gloss

Sugawara: Daichi will you please buy me more lip gloss

Sugawara: idk why I run out so quick

Daichi: Because you wont stop putting it on at like midnight lmao

Daichi: I’ll buy you lip gloss lol

Sugawara: 💗💗💗💗

Nishinoya: Sugar daddy Daichi

Sugawara: Daddy Daichi

Iwaizumi: Stop

 

-

 

Sugawara changed the group name to Daichi FUCKS

Sugawara: ☺️

Oikawa: What a change in mood

Sugawara: Because Daichi FUCKS

Nishinoya: YES YES YES OMG YES ASAHI LOOK ASAHI

Asahi: I see it lol

Sugawara: Attached image

Sugawara: He’s sleeping

Yamaguchi: AHHH DONT SEND PICS OF YOU GUYS CUDDLING WITHOUT WARNING

Yamaguchi: ITS TOO CUTE AND I WILL VOM

Sugawara: ALSO

Sugawara: I TOOK A QUIZ ON MY ANIME CHARACTER TROPE AND I GOT HORNY

Sugawara: EXPLAIN THAT TO ME PLEASE LIKE HOW

Oikawa: he says underneath a picture of his boyfriend post-nut napping

Tanaka: POST-NUT NAPPING AHAHAH YEAH WHAT SUGA YOURE CRAZY

Kuroo: Even that character trope quiz knew you were horny. I’m scared of you

Bokuto: I took it and got Big Dicked HAHAHA

Iwaizumi: me too lmao

Sugawara: So no one is going to defend me

Kenma: If the shoe fits, wear it

Sugawara: So no one here respects me

Sugawara: Well, I’m gonna kiss Daichi until he wakes up bye and I hate you all 😘

Oikawa: why is he in denial. He’s literally so horny.

Kuroo: He scares me sometimes

Chapter Text

Daichi FUCKS

Kuroo: OMG

Kuroo: GUYS

Kuroo: I JUST FOUND THE WEIRDEST THING IN KENMA’S ROOM

Kenma: Nooooo

Kenma: Stoppp

Kenma: Don’t tell the groupchat on me you’re so sexyyyyy

Nishinoya: AHAHAHA

Sugawara: OMGOMGOMGOMG

Sugawara: OMGOMGOMG WHAT IS IT WHAT IS IT

Daichi: Calm down Suga

Sugawara: I can’t I’m just so excited!!!!

Sugawara: That panties incident set my expectations so high!!!

Kuroo: PANTIES

Kuroo: HE WEARS THEM IN FRONT OF ME IF I ASK🤤🥵😍

Kuroo: I BOUGHT HIM LACE ONES A FEW DAYS AGO

Kageyama: Why did you use those emojis?

Kenma: STOP TALKING ABOUT THOSE I HATE YOU

Sugawara: YES

Kuroo: ANYWAY

Kuroo: WE WERE MAKING OUT AND THINGS WERE GETTING STEAMY

Sugawara: OMG OMG OMG PANTIES ???

Kuroo: YES, THE NEW LACE ONES

Nishinoya: OMG OMG OMG KUROO FUCKS ??????

Kuroo: WELL 

Kuroo: NO.

Kuroo: BECAUSE I WENT TO BE ROUGH WITH HIM 🤤🤤🤤🤤

Kageyama: Again with the emojis

Kuroo: AND UNDERESTIMATED MY STRENGTH

Kuroo: AND HOW MUCH HE WEIGHS

Oikawa: WAIT AHAHAHA I KNOW WHERE THIS IS GOING

Oikawa: THAT HAPPENS TO ME AND IWA-CHAN ALL THE TIME

Kuroo: I THREW HIM OFF HIS BED

Kenma: I’m still sore from that, asshole

Kuroo: I’M SO SORRY

Kuroo: SO HE HITS THE FLOOR RIGHT NEXT TO HIS NIGHT STAND 

Kenma: Uhhhhhh wait

Kenma has removed Oikawa from the chat

Sugawara: ?

Kuroo: AND I FND A DRAWING OF OIKAWA AND IWAIZUMI

Kuroo: FUCKING????

Sugawara: WHAT AHAHAHA

Akaashi: Omg wait have you finished it yet?

Kenma: No it’s taking forever 

Kenma: I can’t draw dicks 

Kenma: They’re so hard

Kuroo: AHAHAHA

Bokuto: AHAHAHAHA

Kenma: I want to kill you guys

Hinata: Why

Hinata: Why are you drawing that Kenma

Kenma: Iwaizumi asked me to

Sugawara: WHAT

Iwaizumi: Lol

Iwaizumi: Oikawa made a joke like a week ago about needing a professional to paint us fucking

Iwaizumi: Because it’s ‘so beautiful’ and he wants to ‘look at it all the time’

Iwaizumi: I know he was joking 

Iwaizumi: But when I was telling Kuroo about it Kenma overheard and wouldn’t stop laughing and I asked him to draw it

Iwaizumi: I’m going to give it to him for his birthday and ruin his day

Hinata: You’re so mean

Sugawara: THAT’S SO FUNNY

Hinata: IT ISN’T. IT’S WEIRD

Sugawara: KENMA DRAW ME AND DAICHI

Daichi: Suga, no, it’s weird

Kenma: It’s a little weird

Kenma: But also it’s funny

Kenma: I had to read a lot of yaoi to try and understand how to draw it tho 

Akaashi: Ohhh noooooooo

Kenma: Horrible literally horrible

Kuroo: Kenma you read that shit anyways

Kenma: Don’t make me kill you

 

-

 

Nishinoya: Asahi

Nishinoya: Asahi Asahi Asahi

Nishinoya: BABE

Nishinoya: BABE BABE BABE

Asahi: Yuu, stop embarrassing me in the groupchat

Nishinoya: My roots are growing in :-(

Kageyama: The nose!!

Nishinoya: Anything for my man 😎

Nishinoya: Anyway MY ROOTS ARE GROWING IN

Asahi: Okay??

Nishinoya: ASAHI

Nishinoya: CAN YOU BLEACH MY HAIR FOR ME AGAIN

Nishinoya: I CAN’T LOOK LIKE THIS

Nishinoya: IT’S HORRIBLE

Asahi: Oh. Yes of course!!!

Asahi: Anything for you

Nishinoya: SKDHFjshdfKJHG

Asahi: What

Nishinoya: AWSHAI YOU’RE SO CYTE

Sugawara: How

Sugawara: How did you get so flustered from that

Oikawa: Noya you’re weak

Nishinoya: ASAHI NEVER COMPLIMENTS ME IN THE GROUPCHAT

Nishinoya: HE’S ALWAYS TOO EMBARRASSED 

Tanaka: attached image

Tanaka: LOOK HOW RED HIS FACE IS

Nishinoya: RYU!!!! WHY!!!!!!!!!!

Tanaka: AHAHAHAHA

Nishinoya: YOU’VE BETRAYED ME

Tanaka: IT’S WHAT YOU DESERVE

Nishinoya: I NEVER KNEW YOU HATED ME THIS MUCH

Tanaka: AHAHAHAHAHA

Daichi: What is this

Daichi: Stop

Daichi: You two are such headaches

Tanaka: SORRY DAICHI

Nishinoya: SORRY DAICHI

Nishinoya: Asahi can I come over tomorrow??? :-) :-) 

Asahi: Come over tonight and spend the night! 

Nishinoya: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nishinoya: OKAY!!!!!!!!

 

-

 

Hinata changed the group name to :-(

Kageyama: Stop :-(

Kageyama: I’m sorry :-(

Hinata: It’s not your fault!

Kenma: What

Kenma: What happened

Kenma: Kageyama what did you do

Kenma: I’ll kill you

Kageyama: I broke his finger

Oikawa: WHAT

Oikawa: TOBIO WHAT DID YOU DO

Kageyama: I DON’T KNOW

Kageyama: IT WAS AN ACCIDENT

Kageyama: I DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW IT HAPPENED

Hinata: I CAN’T PLAY VOLLEYBALL 

Hinata: MY LIFE IS OVER

Kageyama: SHUT UP IDIOT NO IT ISN’T

Oikawa: DON’T CALL HIM AN IDIOT

Hinata: LET HIM CALL ME AN IDIOT

Hinata: IT MAKES ME FEEL BETTER

Oikawa: YOU’RE A FREAK

Hinata: It’s on my right hand too :-(

Hinata: MY LIFE IS OVER

Kageyama: IDIOT. STOP

Sugawara: All of you calm down.

Sugawara: What happened?

Hinata: Um

Hinata: We were um

Hinata: Um um 

Nishinoya: FUCKING???

Kageyama: Shouyou you don’t need to tell them

Kenma: SHOUYOU????

Kenma: DON’T MAKE ME PEE 

Hinata: KENMA STOP BEING WEIRD

Kenma: SHOUYOU YOU STOP BEING WEIRD

Hinata: WHAT DID I EVEN DO

Kenma: BREAK YOUR FINGER WHILE FUCKING KAGEYAMA

Hinata: AHHHHHHHH

Nishinoya: THEY WERE FUCKING THEY WERE FUCKING 

Hinata: NOYA STOP

Kageyama has left the group

Nishinoya added Kageyama to the group

Oikawa: I DON’T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT THIS

Oikawa: PLEASE STOP

Hinata: WE DIDN’T ACTUALLY GET AROUND TO IT…

Nishinoya: NOOOOOOOO

Hinata: HE BROKE MY FINGER WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME

Kuroo: ONE TIME I TRIED TO FLIP KENMA OVER AND I SOMEHOW KNOCKED INTO A WALL AND HIT MY HEAD REALLY HARD

Kuroo: IT GAVE ME THE WORST HEADACHE FOR A FEW DAYS

Kuroo: BUT WE STILL FUCKED

Hinata: OKAY?????

Nishinoya: PRIORITIES 

Oikawa: STOP 

Sugawara: Are you 100% it’s broken?

Hinata: No, but it’s swollen

Hinata: And I can’t bend it

Hinata: It’s bruised and it’s bent weird

Hinata: He keeps kissing it and apologising 

Kenma: That’s it

Kenma: I’m peeing

Hinata: He’s making me go to the doctors for it to find out but I’m pretty sure

Sugawara: Well, at least you’re going in

Nishinoya: Yeah but they didn’t fuck so what’s the point

Asahi: Noya why are you like this

Nishinoya: I’m just trying to fulfill my job as a matchmaker!

Oikawa: I hate you

Oikawa: I hope you feel better soon Shouyou

Hinata: Thanks

Hinata: I can’t play volleyball

Sugawara: You said that already

Hinata: But I can’t play volleyball

Daichi: We know

Hinata: I CAN’T PLAY VOLLEYBALL

Kenma: STOP

Hinata: I  CAN’T PLAY VOLLEYBALL

Hinata: I CAN’T STOP CRYING

Bokuto: NOOO HINATA

Sugawara: STOP IT’S ONLY FOR A LITTLE WHILE

Hinata: MY LIFE IS OVER MY LIFE IS OVER

Kenma: STOP STOP STOP

Hinata: I CAN’T STOP CRYING

Oikawa: AHHHHHH

Sugawara: UM UM HUG KAGEYAMA IDK IDK 

Sugawara: HINATA WE’VE NEVER HAD TO DEAL WITH YOU CRYING

Hinata: I CAN’T STOP

Oikawa: SHUT UP WE KNOW

Hinata: I’M GONNA JUST 

Hinata: HUG KAGEYAMA

Sugawara: GOOD IDEA

 

-

 

Kageyama: It’s broken

Kageyama: attached image

Sugawara: HE HAS A FINGER CAST LOL

Sugawara: HE LOOKS LIKE AN IDIOT

Bokuto: IS HE CRYING

Kageyama: He was

Kageyama: It hurts and he’s upset, leave him alone

Oikawa: Protective Tobio!! I love it

Kenma: I haven’t stopped peeing i haven’t stopped peeing

Akaashi: Why do you say that

Kenma: Idk it’s funny and it also just feels right

Akaashi: Ok. 

Akaashi: I’m peeing I’m peeing

Sugawara: Akaashi what 

Akaashi: I’m trying it out

Oikawa: Stop sharing a beraincell. It’s weird

Kenma: Learn how to spell braincell and we might 🥰

Iwaizumi: Learn how to spell brain cell

Tanaka: Learn 

Nishinoya: Brain cell

Daichi: Ok that’s enough

Chapter Text

Daichi FUCKS

Kageyama: Good morning everyone

Kuroo: Good morning😍😍

Bokuto: GOOD MORNING KAGEYAMA

Akaashi: Are you in a good mood?

Kageyama: I guess

Kageyama: I just kinda missed everyone lol

Sugawara: Kageyama 🥺

Oikawa: Why are you being cute. You’re not supposed to be cute

Oikawa: By the way

Oikawa: We had a small like, Aoba Johsai reunion dinner

Oikawa: Kindaichi kept talking about you

Hinata: Ew why

Iwaizumi: lol we brought up the group chat and he was asking if you were okay and stuff

Kageyama: He never texts me lol

Oikawa: Because no one wants to text you

Hinata: I DO

Kuroo: I DO

Bokuto: I DO

Iwaizumi: I do

Oikawa: Eliza

Oikawa: WAIT WHAT

Kuroo: I never felt so- HELPLESS YEAHHHH

Oikawa: NO WAIT WHAT

Iwaizumi: I text Kageyama sometimes lol

Oikawa: Tobio you CANNOT TAKE MY BOYFRIEND

Kageyama: I don’t want to?

Kageyama: I have a boyfriend?

Oikawa: ARE YOU GUYS GONNA KISS TOO

Iwaizumi: It was once

Hinata: THAT'S ONE TIME TOO MANY

Kageyama: You’re both so weird

Oikawa: we’re both HEARTBROKEN

Asahi: Omg guys guys

Asahi: Attached image

Asahi: I’m going through my high school photo album

Sugawara: omg omg when we locked Daichi out of the gym and he didn’t talk to us for three days 💔

Sugawara: The worst three days of my life

Tanaka: He was so mad for something so minor

Sugawara: It was winter

Sugawara: I would be cold and angry

Asahi: Okay so why didn’t you unlock the door??

Sugawara: Because I like to see him angry

Asahi: ….

Sugawara: Idk I like when he scolds me sometimes but that time he just IGNORED ME FOR THREE DAYS

Nishinoya: HAHAHA SUGA YOURE SO SCARY

Oikawa: why are you like that suga 

Asahi: Attached image

Asahi: LOOK AT HOW CUTE MY NOYA IS

Asahi: HIS UNIFORM LOOKS SO CUTE ON HIM OMG

Nishinoya: ASAHI STOP OMG

Asahi: IM WEEPING NOYA

Kageyama: Weeping

Akaashi: Thats so impractical 

Asahi: IM WEEPING

Asahi: NOYA IS SO CUTE

Tanaka: you’re being so… ugly? Right now?

Nishinoya: I might have to disagree with you

Nishinoya: ASAHI IS BEING THE CUTEST RIGHT NOW

Asahi: 😚

Nishinoya: 😚

Sugawara: TEXT KISSING IS ME AND DAICHIS THING

Nishinoya: Where is Daichi?

Sugawara: He’s sleeping still

Asahi: 😚

Nishinoya: 😚

Sugawara: STOP THAT

Oikawa: 😚

Iwaizumi: 😚

Sugawara: NO 

Tsukishima: 😚

Yamaguchi: 😚

Sugawara: I HATE YOU ALL!!!

 

-

 

Oikawa: My boyfriend hates me🥰

Kenma: what happened?

Oikawa: Iwa-Chan is so mean and doesn’t pay attention to me

Oikawa: He has been working so much 

Oikawa: And I miss him

Oikawa: We haven’t hung out in a while

Hinata: Aw he's not doing it on purpose though

Iwaizumi: I’m not, idiot! And I don’t hate you

Iwaizumi: Our anniversary is coming up and I have a plan for us so calm down dumbass. I’m trying to save money

Kageyama: When is your anniversary

Iwaizumi: New Years

Sugawara: Oooooh what are you guys gonna do??

Oikawa: Iwa-Chan booked us a room at an onsen

Sugawara: For New Years?!? 

Iwaizumi: That’s exactly why I’ve been working a lot lol

Iwaizumi: steep prices but it’s for Oikawa so it’s fine

Nishinoya: Sugar daddy Iwa-Chan

Iwaizumi: Don’t call me that

Oikawa: DONT CALL HIM THAT

Nishinoya: Don’t call him sugar daddy? Or Iwa-Chan?

Iwaizumi: Don’t call me either of those

Nishinoya: 😧

 

-

 

Sugawara: IMPORTANT QUESTION 

Sugawara: EVERYONE COME HERE

Sugawara: I’m assuming all of you are here

Sugawara: Attached image

Sugawara: Attached image

Sugawara: Which ones should I get

Daichi: the first ones. I like the light pink

Asahi: You have so many shoes

Sugawara: Shoes distract from my ugly face ☺️

Daichi: Stop that

Sugawara: So Daichi likes the first one

Sugawara: And I know I said you all need to be here

Sugawara: But Daichi replied sooner than I thought lmao so I’ll get the first one

Sugawara: Thank you all for participating 🥰🥰

Oikawa: Good thing I was gonna say the first one lol

Sugawara: Great! I’ll update everyone when they come in

Akaashi: omg yes I want to see what you wear them with

Sugawara: Akaashi we’re gonna be great friends

Akaashi: 😍

Sugawara: 😍

Kenma: It has begun

Kuroo: uh oh

Oikawa: why uh oh?

Kenma: Akaashi power is truly something else when he makes new friends

Bokuto: Especially friends with the same energy as his

Kenma: Chaos chaos chaos

Kuroo: you’re so weird

Chapter Text

Sugawara changed the group name to Scarred 😳🤪

Oikawa: Oh god

Oikawa: What happened??

Sugawara: I’m feeling

Sugawara: Faint

Sugawara: I’m feeling

Sugawara: like I want to die

Asahi: ??????!?!!?

Asahi: It’s so late. Are you okay???!

Sugawara: Yes. But, mentally, I’m damaged

Sugawara: I had a dream 

Sugawara: Maybe a nightmare

Sugawara: That me and Tanaka fucked

Oikawa: you’re dramatic

Nishinoya: HAAHAHAH NO WAY NO WAY

Nishinoya: NICE TANAKA

Nishinoya changed the group name to Tanaka FUCKS

Sugawara: oh no 

Sugawara: I was

Sugawara: I was the top

Sugawara: 🤢🤢🤢🤢 EW EW

Sugawara: ME?!!! A TOP?!???!

Nishinoya: SCREAMING I AM SCREAMING

Nishinoya changed the group name to Suga FUCKS?!???!!?

Sugawara: That was disgusting

Tanaka: Stop you’re hurting my feelings

Sugawara: 0/10 

Sugawara: I do not recommend fucking Tanaka in your dream

Oikawa: YOURE SO WEIRD

Tanaka: 💔💔💔💔😭😭😭😭😭

Tanaka: Suga, LOVE ME PLEASE

Daichi: Tanaka, you’re dead

Tanaka: WHAT DID I DO

Sugawara: Dryest wet dream I’ve ever had

Daichi: Suga

Daichi: Stop talking about this

Tanaka: SUGA😢😢😢😢

Sugawara: Daichi, I’m traumatized

Sugawara: Daichi, I’m disgusted 

Daichi: It’s kinda pissing me off so please stop

Oikawa: When he’s jealous of a dream suga didn’t even enjoy

Daichi: Shut up

Tanaka: Daichi please let Suga love me

Sugawara: I don’t want you!

Kuroo: Tanaka goes HAHAHA HE GOES

Kuroo: Just give him what he wants and you can have me

Kuroo: And suga goes HAHAHA HE GOES I don’t want you!

Daichi: you’re obsessed with Hamilton 

Kuroo: I WOULD DIE WITHOUT LIN MANUEL MIRANDA

Oikawa: Well, back to sugas dream

Daichi: No

Daichi: We’re done talking about that

Tanaka: 😧😧 Daichi doesn’t want to see me winning😣😣😣😤😫😭😭😱😱

Daichi: You’re annoying

Tanaka: You’re possessive

Daichi: He’s my boyfriend!!!

Tanaka: For now 🥴

Daichi removed Tanaka from the group

Nishinoya: My bro 😧 my rock 😧

Nishinoya: He’s gone😧

Daichi: Good

Daichi: He can earn his way back in

Sugawara: 😍 Daichi I wanna kisssssss youuuuuu

Daichi: lol okay, are you gonna come over?

Sugawara: Omw omw 

Iwaizumi: So weird

 

-

 

Kageyama: Hinata is embroidering everything

Kageyama: I have no more plain shirts

Tsukishima: Tell him to stop

Kageyama: No

Tsukishima: Okay?

Yamaguchi: Glad to see he picked up my hobby 🤪🤪🤪

Tsukishima: It’s less of a hobby and more of an addiction 

Yamaguchi: It’s therapeutic

Yamaguchi: And kinda tedious

Yamaguchi: So I feel less bored 

Kageyama: Attached Image

Kageyama: Attached Image

Kageyama: Attached Image

Kageyama: Attached Image

Kageyama: Attached Image

Kageyama: Attached Image

Akaashi: oh my

Akaashi: Wait

Akaashi: The pillowcase is kinda cute lol

Kageyama: My name is on the other pillowcase

Hinata: We have to know who’s is who’s

Kageyama: Lmaoooo

Kenma: LMAOOO SHOUYOU YOURE SO STUPID AHAH

Hinata: literally why

Kenma: STOP EMBROIDERING EVERYTHING YOURE INSANE

Hinata: Sorry that I was given this talent and you weren’t

Kuroo: Kenma would embroider cats on everything

Kenma: Yes

Kenma: Kuro

Kenma: Buy me an embroidery floss please

Kuroo: NO

Kenma: You never do anything for me

Kenma: It’s like you hate me

Kenma: Like you want to break up AND you want me dead

Kuroo: I literally don’t

Sugawara: So mean Kuroo

Oikawa: That’s kinda rude Kuroo

Akaashi: What a terrible boyfriend

Kuroo: WHY DO YOU GUYS ALWAYS DO THIS

Yamaguchi: Wow, and you yell at Kenma’s friends?? 

Yamaguchi: Kenma, you can do so much better

Kuroo: THIS GROUPCHAT FUCKING SUCKS

 

-

 

Nishinoya: I CANT FIND SUZU

Kenma: OH NO NO NONO

Asahi: ???!!??

Nishinoya: ASAHI DONT KILL ME I CANT FIND HER!!!!

Asahi: What were you doing??

Nishinoya: TAKING A NAP

Nishinoya: SHE WAS ON YOUR BED AND NOW SHES GONE AND IDK IDK

Nishinoya: IM CRYING

Nishinoya: ASAHI I LOST OUR DAUGHTER IM SORRY

Nishinoya: IM CRYING IM CRYING

Asahi: calm down Noya.

Asahi: She likes to sit behind the curtain when I’m gone

Asahi: Maybe she’s waiting there

Nishinoya: OH MY GOD SHE WAS THERE

Nishinoya: IM CRYING AGAIN

Asahi: lol stop crying

Asahi: I’m almost home anyways

Nishinoya: THANK GOD SHES ALRIGHT

Sugawara: Throwback to when Noya hated her

Nishinoya: I do😒

Asahi: You don’t

Sugawara: You literally don't but okay 

Chapter Text

Suga FUCKS?!???!!?

Kenma: MY LIFE IS OVER

Hinata: Wut

Kenma: MY LIFE IS HORRIBLE

Akaashi: It’s 10AM, you don’t need to be screaming.

Kenma: I JUST WOKE UP

Kenma: AND I WAS BRUSHING MY TEETH AND I THREW UP OUT OF NOWHERE

Sugawara: Omg are you ok

Kenma: YEAH BUT LIKE WHY DID THAT HAPPEN TO ME

Kuroo: Have you eaten?

Kenma: I ate lunch yesterday

Kuroo: Kenma!

Kenma: I JUST WOKE UP

Kenma: And I’m ugly today so

Kuroo: Don’t start that

Daichi: Wow this sounds a little familiar

Sugawara: I don’t know what you mean

Iwaizumi: Wow this sounds a little familiar

Oikawa: I don’t know what you mean

Tsukishima: Wow this sounds a little familiar

Yamaguchi: I don’t know what you mean

Hinata: Why are you all like this?

Kuroo: Kenma I’m coming over to cook you breakfast and take care of you all day ✨

Kenma: You don’t have to

Kuroo: But I’m going to bc I love you more than life itself 

Kenma: Why

Kenma: It’s not like I’m anything special

Sugawara: Kenma I’m gonna kill you

Kenma: Please 

Sugawara: Nvm 

Kenma: Ugh

Kuroo: Stop it!!! I’m coming over to kiss you so much

Kenma: Give me 100 kisses 

Kuroo: Okay

Kenma: Give me 200 kisses

Kuroo: Okay

Kenma: I’ll be counting

Kuroo: Okay

Kenma: Give me 40982 kisses and eat my ass 

Kuroo: Okay

Oikawa: Sugawara’s influence rn

Sugawara: WHAT HOW IS THAT MY INFLUENCE

Nishinoya: Horny Kenma?

Kuroo: Horny Kenma 😌

Kenma: 100924381 kisses and eat my ass and let me suck your dick 

Oikawa set Kenma’s name to Sugawara #2

Sugawara: STOP 

Sugawara: I DIDN’T DO THIS

Oikawa: YOU’RE A TOXIC INFLUENCE ON INFLUENTIAL MINDS

Nishinoya: I think you guys are missing something big here

Nishinoya: And that’s

Nishinoya: HORNY KENMA HORNY KENMA

Kuroo: HORNY KENMA HORNY KENMA

 

-

 

Kenma: when u get a bruise on ur hip from him holding you while he rails ur ass 🤤✨✨

Oikawa: UM?????

Oikawa : I'M SO APPALLED 

Sugawara: YES YES YES ISN'T THAT THE BEST

Oikawa: SO SO SO APPALLED 

Nishinoya: YESSSSSS

Oikawa: AHHHHHH IWA-CHAN HELP I’M SO SCARED

Kenma: attached image

Kenma: LOOK AT THIS BRUISE

Oikawa: NOOOOOOOO

Sugawara: YESS YESS YESS 

Sugawara: THE NAIL IMPRINTS? ICONIC

Oikawa: NO NO NNO NO

Sugawara: attached image

Sugawara: LOOK AT THIS ONE

Kenma: YES 

Oikawa: NO NO STO P

Oikawa: WHY IS NO ONE ESLE REPLYING I’M SO TRAUMATISED RIGHT NOW

Nishinoya changed the group name to Kuroo and Daichi FUCK

Sugawara: NOOOOO 

Sugawara: NO THEY DON’T NO THEY DON’T

Nishinoya: HAHAHA BAD WORDING

Oikawa: AHAHAHA

Kageyama changed the group name to Stop

Nishinoya: Yes King

Oikawa: For once I’m agreeing with Tobio

Sugawara: Boo

Kenma: Boo

 

-

 

Oikawa: attached image

Oikawa: FEELS BAD SCOOB

Oikawa: SO SO SO BAD

Sugawara: Who is that? I’m an idiot ✨

Oikawa: Terushima

Sugawara: That guy who won’t leave u alone?

Sugawara: Why is he trying to guilt trip you into responding to him

Kenma: WHY AM I LAUGHING

Oikawa: DON’T LAUGH I FEEL BAD

Kuroo: Hey cutie 😍🤤🥰💞

Kenma: Please 😩😩 answer me…😭🙏🏼  you’re the only 👊👅 person I can 🤯🥰🥺 and want 😩🥵💦 to talk to….💕🍆👄👅🥵

Oikawa: I HATE BOTH OF YOU 

Oikawa: DON’T MAKE THIS A JOKE

Oikawa: I’M SO UNCOMFORTABLE 

Oikawa: I NEED TO RESPOND BUT LIKE ????????? I’VE TOLD HIM A BILLION TIMES I’M NOT INTERESTED 

Kuroo: You’ve given him a million sorry’s 😔😔

Kenma: How about a billion sorry’s 😢😔

Kuroo: Ooh 😫

Kenma: You shine just like the stars and he’s not even a nightlight 🤩🤩😭

Kuroo: Cause what he did wasn’t so bright 😭💡

Sugawara: THIS ENERGY

Oikawa: STOP

Akaashi: Why do you need to respond to him?

Oikawa: I feel bad

Akaashi: He’s guilt-tripping you. 

Oikawa: I know that 

Oikawa: But it’s working

Oikawa: I’m guilted 

Akaashi: Block him

Akaashi: He’s manipulative

Sugawara: Where’s Iwaizumi? I feel like he has some strong opinions on this

Oikawa: Iwa-chan is asleep 🥰

Oikawa: And I don’t want to bother him with something like this

Oikawa: EXCUSE ME DAICHI STOP CALLING IWA-CHAN

Kuroo: Hello hello baby you called I can’t hear a thing 😫👂

Kenma: I have got no service in the club something somethinnn 🕺🥳

Daichi: Did it wake him up?

Oikawa: YES

Iwaizumi: I’m going to ✨💖 kill Terushima 💖✨

Oikawa: STOP

Kuroo: AHAHAHA THE EMOJIS

Kenma: Hey Kuro 💖✨

Kuroo: Hey Kenma 💖✨

Oikawa: WOULD YOU TWO STOP

Oikawa: ANYWAY I’M GOING TO DO IT 

Oikawa: IWA-CHAN HAS CONVINCED ME

Oikawa: I’M BLOCKING HIM

Kageyama: You don’t really have to announce it this dramatically 

Oikawa: Tobio i didn’t ask

Hinata: Don’t be so mean

Oikawa: Shouyou i didn’t ask

Kuroo: You’ve got opinions, man. We’re all entitled to ‘em, but I never asked. 🤬🤨🖕

Kenma: Who died and made you king of anything?⚰️🏺👑

Oikawa: OH MY GOD WHY ARE YOU GUYS DOING THIS

Oikawa: STOP TRYING TO STEAL THE SPOTLIGHT FROM ME

Kuroo: The only person whose attention I’m trying to steal is Kenma’s

Kuroo: 😍

Kenma: Aww Kuro 🥰

Kuroo: I look into your eyes and the sky’s the limit 😍😍

Kenma: I’m helpless 😍💕🥰

Nishinoya: What is going on 

Asahi: I’m so scared

Nishinoya: Me too

Nishinoya: Kenma never quotes Hamilton

Akaashi: He does when he’s high

Kenma has left the chat

Kuroo: When you’re high and then you get extra high from such a good nut 😌😩

Sugawara: AHAHA WHY ARE YOU TALKING LIKE THAT

Kuroo: When I see the way you look 🥵🥵🤨

Kuroo: Shaken by how long it took 😩🍆👅🤤

Kuroo: I could do about anything 🕺🥵🥰

Asahi: Are you trying to make

Asahi: A song on the Steven Universe soundtrack

Asahi: Sexual??

Kuroo: You know it, baby 

Kuroo has left the chat

Sugawara: Literally what

Oikawa: Good riddance 

 

-

 

Hinata: I miss Kenma

Hinata: I miss Kenma so much

Hinata: Like

Hinata: I miss him so much that I’m depressed?

Hinata: I think I want to cry?

Kageyama: Don’t cry wtf

Kuroo: You saw him a few months ago

Hinata: That’s not enough!

Kenma: THAT’S NOT ENOUGH

Kenma: Shouyou I miss you so much

Hinata: I miss you MORE

Kenma: I MISS YOU THE MOST

Hinata: I MISS YOU MORE THAN THE MOST

Hinata: I’M SO SAD

Kenma: I’M SAD TOO

 

-

 

Kenma: It’s 6am

Kuroo: Yes, it is

Kenma: Kuro, it’s 6am

Kenma: Why did you wake me up at 6am Kuro?

Akaashi: Shut up

Kenma: Akaashi heart eyes heart eyes

Akaashi: Kenma heart eyes heart eyes

Kenma: Why are you awake?

Akaashi: I have to work

Kenma: Ew

Kenma: Kuro woke me up because he likes seeing me in pain

Kuroo: Shut up, we’re going somewhere 

 

-

 

Hinata: KENMA’S HERE????????????

Sugawara: WHAT

Hinata: KENMA KENMA KENMA

Kenma: SHOUYOU SHOUYOU SHOUYOU

Kenma: KURO DROVE ME TO SEE SHOUYOU

Kenma: KURO I’M SO IN LOVE WITH YOU

Kenma: SHOUYOU SHOUYOU

Hinata: KENMA KENMA KENMA

Tsukishima: Stop being so annoying

 

-

 

Hinata: attached image

Sugawara: Are you guys on a double date? 🥺

Hinata: Yes!

Sugawara: Daichi look 🥺

Daichi: I see, Suga

Sugawara: They’re so cute 

Daichi: They are

Kuroo: Are you calling me cute, Daichi?

Sugawara: Kuroo I’ll kill you

Chapter Text

Stop

Oikawa: I’m so sad

Oikawa: I’m gonna go into labor I’m so sad

Akaashi: I don’t think I know what that means

Oikawa: I’m SAD

Oikawa: And idk why(*´꒳`*)

Iwaizumi: What a cute face

Oikawa: iwa-chan 💗💗💗💗

Iwaizumi: I’m bringing you ice cream

Oikawa: No nooo

Oikawa: I just want to sleep

Iwaizumi: We’ll take a nap and then you can eat your ice cream when you wake up

Oikawa: fine

Oikawa: I’m gonna take a bath. See you when you get here

Iwaizumi: kk

Kuroo: KK AHAHA 

Oikawa: Leave him alone

Oikawa: Bye

Kuroo: HAHAHA

 

-

 

Oikawa: I’m back

Kenma: Are feeling better?

Akaashi: Are feeling better

Oikawa: Yes

Kenma: Good stupid idiot bitch

Kenma: Don’t ever be sad

Oikawa: How sweet

Oikawa: It’s all thanks to Iwa-chan!!! ❤️💕💖

Iwaizumi: I took a nap with you

Oikawa: It’s all thanks to youuuu

Sugawara: That’s good!

Oikawa: Well, now that I’m back

Oikawa: I was going through it oopsoopsoops

Oikawa: And I was internally crying

Oikawa: Not sure what all that is about

Daichi: Can someone internally cry

Oikawa: Idk but like

Oikawa: It’s when you feel like you’re crying but you aren’t but it feels like you are so you just would rather die because nothing causes it and it just happens

Oikawa: Haha

Oikawa: ANYWAYS

Oikawa: Let's talk about my craving for a nice pair of dark wash jeans paired with a clear double grommet belt

Iwaizumi: I’ve been telling you to buy them for two weeks now

Oikawa: Yes

Oikawa: But if I buy them tonight, I’ll be broke sooner

Iwaizumi: You will not be broke

Iwaizumi: And you’ve been wanting it forever

Oikawa: But what if it goes out of style?

Iwaizumi: That doesn’t mean it won’t look good

Oikawa: I need to think on it

Iwaizumi: You’re so toxic for me

Oikawa: LITERALLY WHY I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

 

-

 

Yamaguchi: Thinking about when we were out and Hinata spilled his coffee all over Tsukki

Yamaguchi: And Tsukki was so pissed and wouldn’t talk to Hinata or Kageyama

Kageyama: I still don’t know why he was mad at me

Tsukishima: Because I felt like it

Kageyama: Sick

Tsukishima: Thinking about when Hinata followed me to a training camp that he wasn’t invited to because he’s an embarrassing little garbage boy

Hinata: i’m not an embarrassing little garbage boy

Hinata: I don’t even know what that is

Yamaguchi: A garbage boy

Kageyama: He is embarrassing but he isn’t a garbage boy

Hinata: IM NOT EMBARASSING

Kenma: WHO SNEAKS INTO A TRAINING CAMP?!?!?! AN INVITE ONLY TRAINING CAMP

Oikawa: Embarrassing people

Daichi: Who woke up with a bump on their head because they were showing off to Lev and ended up bumping their head on the door frame?

Asahi: Embarrassing people

Sugawara: Who is literally so weird that they got so excited and put their jacket on as pants?

Tanaka: HAHAA EMBARRASSING PEOPLE

Kageyama: Who tripped getting on the train and then tripped again while getting off

Hinata: I never knew this was a hate group

Hinata changed the group name to BRB CRYING

Oikawa: WHO LITERALLY CANNOT FROST A CAKE

Tanaka: embarrassing people lmaoooo

Kenma: WHO LITERALLY FELL ASLEEP RIGHT WHEN THEY WERE GONNA FUCK

Sugawara: EMBARRASSING PEOPLE HAAH

Tsukishima: So, we all agree that he’s embarrassing?

Kageyama: Sorry hinata, but yes

 

-

 

Tanaka: um

Tanaka: UM I JUST GOT BACK

Nishinoya: From where?

Tanaka: I was out with Kiyoko

Sugawara: Aw, I visited her last weekend and i miss her so much

Tanaka: Like a DATE LIKE A DATE

Tanaka: LIKE WHAT

Nishinoya: WHAT

Asahi: WHAT

Daichi: WHAT

Kuroo: Kiyoko?

Iwaizumi: She was their manager

Kuroo: The one TORA WAS OBSESSED WITH HHAHAHA

Kenma: Scary times

Tanaka: Like I didn’t know it was a date 

Tanaka: But I was hoping it was

Tanaka: So after we parted ways

Tanaka: She texted me and said she hopes we can go on another date and

Tanaka: I THREW MY PHONE BECAUSE OMG OKMG

Tanaka: THIS IS HAPPENING

Tanaka: TJE MOMENT IVEDRE AMT OF

Nishinoya: NICE NICE NICE OMG GET MARRIED

Sugawara: Go on a second date first?

Nishinoya: GET MARRIED GET MARRIED

Tanaka: WHAT IF SHE’S PLAYING A PRANK ON ME?

Sugawara: She wouldn’t

Tanaka: What if she stands me up on the second date and I sit there crying alone

Daichi: Then you go home? And cry there?

Tanaka: What if she just calls hanging out “dates” and I got everything completely wrong

Asahi: I don’t think that’s what happened

Tanaka: I’M SCARED EW EW HOW DO PEOPLE GET GIRLFRIENDS WHY ARE GIRLS SO SCARY

Kuroo: They aren’t

Kuroo: You’re just being so weird right now

Oikawa: Remember when Hinata thought he was straight

Kenma: What an idiot

Hinata: WHY ME LET ME DIE

Chapter Text

BRB CRYING

Oikawa: I just had the worst thing ever happen to me

Oikawa: Oh so no one is going to respond?

Sugawara: Everything that happens to you is the worst thing ever

Kenma: Yeah

Oikawa: No but like

Oikawa: Actual worst thing ever

Oikawa: SO NO ONE IS GOING TO ASK WHAT HAPPENED?

Kageyama: What happened?

Oikawa: Thank you, TOBIO

Kageyama: Idk why you had to capitalize my name like that but okay

Hinata: Tooru, why do you call him Tobio?

Oikawa: The same reason I call you Shouyou?

Oikawa: It’s literally his name??

Hinata: Yeah but I don’t even call him Tobio

Oikawa: Okay???

Oikawa: Go be weird somewhere else, Shouyou

Oikawa: I’m telling a story to my dear Tobio

Hinata: Do you mean my dear Tobio?

Oikawa: No. I don’t

Kenma: Shouyou why are you just okay with being so embarrassing all the time

Oikawa: Anyways

Oikawa: Worst thing ever just happened to me

Oikawa: So one of my friends

Oikawa: I’ll keep her anonymous for the sake of drama

Sugawara: Oh my god

Oikawa: JUST CALLED ME

Oikawa: AND GOES 

Oikawa: Hey Tooru. Settle an argument for me! 

Oikawa: Explained an argument she was ACTIVELY having with her boyfriend

Oikawa: And then I sat on the phone while they screamed at each other for twenty minutes ✨💖

Kenma: Ew wtf

Oikawa: YEAH

Oikawa: AND EVERYTIME I TRIED TO SAY SOMETHING SHE GOT MAD AT ME

Kageyama: Why didn’t you just hang up?

Oikawa: Because that’s so awkward

Oikawa: What if it made her mad at me?

Oikawa: What if she CALLED ME BACK

Oikawa: What if she CALLED BACK AND APOLOGIZED??

Daichi: You wouldn’t want her to apologize?

Oikawa: Honestly it was such an uncomfortable situation that I think I’d rather we never talk about it again 

Oikawa: So no

Sugawara: Did you cry?

Sugawara: I think I would have just started crying

Oikawa: Almost but for some reason my coping mechanism was to just start laughing

Sugawara: THAT’S SO AWKWARD

Oikawa: I KNOW. DON’T REMIND ME

Kenma: WHY DID SHE DO THAT TO YOU LMAO

Oikawa: IDK BUT I DON’T KNOW HOW I’M EVER GOING TO TALK TO HER AGAIN

Iwaizumi: Don’t be so dramatic

Oikawa: Iwa-chan! 🥰 Did you like my story? 💖✨

Iwaizumi: No

Oikawa: Me neither!!!

Hinata: Tooru you’re weird

Oikawa: Coming from you

Kenma: Coming from you

Sugawara: Coming from you

Hinata: So I guess everyone hates me

Kenma: Yeah

 

-

 

Hinata: I want banana crocs

Kenma: What

Hinata: Banana

Hinata: Crocs

Hinata: Banana crocs banana crocs banana crocs

Hinata: attached image

Hinata: Banana crocs

Kenma: Banana crocs banana crocs banana crocs

Kenma: Kuro I want banana crocs

Kuroo: I’ll buy you some

Kenma: OMG REALLY

Hinata: THIS ISN’T FAIR

Oikawa: Just ask Tobio to buy u a pair

Nishinoya: Sugar daddy Kageyama tingz

Sugawara: Yesss

Hinata: Don’t call him that

Hinata: And no! I don’t want him to feel like he has to buy me things. That’s not fair to him

Kenma: Kuro buy me dinner 

Kuroo: Okay

Kenma: Kuro buy me a coffee

Kuroo: Okay

Hinata: Why are you like that Kenma

Kenma: Kuro gives me whatever I want 🥰😼

Sugawara: Spoiled ass bitch

Kenma: Yeah

Kuroo: It’s bc he literally spends so much money on me all the time

Kuroo: For no reason

Kuroo: It’s scary

Kenma: I like to buy things for you when I’m sad

Kenma: It makes me feel better

Kenma: And you always look really cute when I give you them

Kenma: Your smile makes my heart go 💕💞💓 💗💖💘

Sugawara: Awww

Oikawa: Kenma stop being cute

Oikawa: It’s making me sick

Kenma: Stupid idiot

Oikawa: Idiot asshole

Kenma: Idiot asshole bitch

Oikawa: Idiot asshole stupid bitch

Akaashi: Stop

 

-

 

Hinata: attached image

Hinata: Kageyama bought me

Hinata: Banana crocs

Hinata: banana crocs banana crocs

Kageyama: Shut up

Hinata: YOU shut up

Kageyama: Stop, idiot. You shut up

Hinata: Stupid. 

Kageyama: Idiot

Hinata: ❤️

Kageyama: ❤️

Oikawa: I don’t know what any of that meant

 

-

 

Hinata: I’m on facetime with Kenma

Hinata: And he just fell asleep??

Kuroo: Aww I love when that happens

Kuroo: Doesn’t he look so cute

Hinata: I guess but like

Hinata: What do I do ???

Oikawa: What do you mean

Sugawara: Literally 

Hinata: Like ??? He fell asleep what do I do???

Daichi: You hang up

Hinata: Oh yeah

Hinata: WHY DID I FORGOT I COULD DO THAT

Sugawara: AHAHAH IDIOT WTF

Oikawa: Shouyou you really amaze me sometimes

Hinata: SHUT UP

Chapter Text

BRB CRYING

Sugawara: Look look!!

Sugawara: Attached Image

Sugawara: Shes CUTE

Kenma: SHES SO CUTE SHES SO CUTE

Kageyama: What is that?

Sugawara: My Apple Pencil

Sugawara: Isn’t the skin so cute?

Kageyama: She's so cute

Oikawa: Is she a radish?

Sugawara: YES 

Oikawa: SO CUTE SHES SO CUTE

Daichi: lol, glad you like it

Sugawara: I DONT LIKE HER I LOVE HER DAICHI THANK YOU SO MUCH

Kuroo: When did you get an iPad?

Sugawara: just the other day! Wanna see what I’ve drawn so far?

Kuroo: Yes

Sugawara: Attached Image

Oikawa: SUGA HAHAHHA

Akaashi: Omg is that animal crossing Alexander Hamilton

Bokuto: HAHAHA WHAT A CROSSOVER HHA

Iwaizumi: This concept is 

Kenma: Scary?

Iwaizumi: So unexpected 

Kuroo: I want that

Kuroo: I WANT THAT

Sugawara: Attached Image

Bokuto: THEYRE SO CUTE IN ANIMAL CROSSING HAH

Kageyama: Angelicaaaaa

Oikawa: Eliiizaa

Yamaguchi: And Peggy

Kuroo: The Schuyler sisters

Kageyama: Angelica

Yamaguchi: Peggy

Oikawa: Eliza

Kageyama: WORK

Kenma: Wait wait they’re actually so cute

Kenma: HHAHA WHEN WORLDS COLLIDE

Kenma: SUGA IM LAUGHING YOU'RE A GENIUS

Daichi: That’s the first thing he drew lmao

Sugawara: It’s my passion

Daichi: you’re so cute

Sugawara: 🥰

Akaashi: Bad news

Akaashi: Suga, you’re making me want an iPad

Bokuto: I’LL BUY YOU ONE

Akaashi: Don’t 

Bokuto: I WILL

Akaashi: I’ll return it

Bokuto: DON’T

Nishinoya: I want an apple pencil

Asahi: you don’t draw

Nishinoya: I want it for my classes

Asahi: You don’t even take notes

Nishinoya: I JUST NEED ONE

Tanaka: NOYA YOU LOST YOUR AIRPODS YET YOU THINK YOU WONT LOSE A PENCIL AHAHAH

Asahi: lmaooooo

Nishinoya: bullies everywhere

Nishinoya: If you want me gone, just be honest with me

Tanaka: Drama queen

Nishinoya: Queen shit😤😤🤪💋🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍👑✨✨✨

Tanaka: We want you gone

Nishinoya: someone has gotten real cocky since they went out with Kiyoko

Tanaka: I think it’s reasonable LOOK AT HER

Nishinoya: I KNOW I KNOW IM SO PROUD OF YOU

Tanaka: THANKS BROSKI

 

-

 

Oikawa: My hair is ruined

Kenma: oh no

Oikawa: i would rather die than live like this

Sugawara: what did you do?

Oikawa: It’s horrible. 

Oikawa: So I have this like, after shower hair stuff. It’s in a purple bottle and it sits by my sink

Oikawa: Coincidentally right by this purple bottle of lotion

Sugawara: Oh no please say sike

Oikawa: I’m doing my routine. Singing and starting my hair proces

Oikawa: SO IM LIKE “hm this is awfully more fragrant than I remember” SO I SMELL MY HANDS THEN MY HAIR AND LOOK ON THE COUNTER TO SEE MY LOTION ON ITS SIDE AND OPENED

Oikawa: I COATED HALF OF MY HAIR IN FUCKING SCENTED LOTION

Sugawara: Oh noooooo :-(((

Oikawa: I HOPPED BACK IN THE SHOWER SO QUICK. I HAD TO REWASH MY HAIR AND FACE AND REDO MY WHOLE ROUTINE

Oikawa: I’m so scared. What if my hair is sooo dry tomorrow?

Oikawa: OR WHAT IF ITS GREASY

Oikawa: IWA-CHAN WILL BREAK UP WITH ME

Iwaizumi: I won’t lmao

Iwaizumi: And you should be fine as long as you washed it all out

Kuroo: OIKAWA YOU'RE AN IDIOTHAAHAH

Oikawa: It was so scary I cried a little

Akaashi: I’m sure your hair will be fine

Akaashi: Maybe move your lotion?

Akaashi: So you don’t make another dumb mistake

Oikawa: I want to cry again

Iwaizumi: Don’t pick on him too much

Iwaizumi: He’s vulnerable right now because of this crisis he’s having

Kuroo: HOW DOES THAT EVEN HAPPEN AHAHAH

Kuroo: WHY DO YOU HAVE SO MANY PURPLE ITEMS

Oikawa: I DONT KNOW IT JUST HAPPENED

Kuroo: STUPID YOURE STUPID

Oikawa: I’M CRYING

-

Kageyama: I am

Kageyama: 🙃

Bokuto: KING WHAT’S WRONG

Hinata: He’s being a freak

Nishinoya: LMAOO ITS USUALLY THE OTHER WAY AROUND

Kageyama: Natsu keeps talking about a boy in her class

Hinata: she has a little crush on him

Hinata: It’s so cute

Kageyama: It’s not but okay

Hinata: It’s cute Kageyama, accept it

Kageyama: Never

Kuroo: She’s gonna be our age one day

Kageyama: Nope

Kenma: she’ll have a significant other

Kageyama: Never

Daichi: She’ll get married one day

Kageyama: Absolutely not

Kageyama: I can’t accept that

Sugawara: Protective dad Kageyama

Hinata: you’re being so weird Kageyama

Hinata: It’s not like she’s starting a family tomorrow. 

Hinata: She just has a crush

Hinata: She’s getting older.

Hinata: What are you gonna do when she actually brings a guy home one day

Kageyama: Scare him away

Hinata: You will not

Kageyama: Beat the shit out of him?

Hinata: NO

Kageyama: Then idk?? Die, I guess

Hinata: lmaoooo you’re so stupid sometimes

Kuroo: lol this is so cute

Kuroo: Who let Kageyama be so cute

Hinata: Stop

Kuroo: 😘

Hinata: STOP

Chapter Text

Sugawara changed the group name to Hello all

Sugawara: I just took a million selfies

Kuroo: Why did you name the chat like an email

Sugawara: Because

Daichi: Send them to me

Akaashi: That’s awfully selfish of you Daichi

Akaashi: Send them all to the group chat

Sugawara: Okay I didn’t take a million

Sugawara: I took 3 and they are all ASS AND I WANTED TO POST ONE WITH YOUR HELP BUT THEY ALL SUCK 

Oikawa: Sounds like a lie lol

Sugawara: They literally look so bad

Sugawara: Daichi, you just allow me to be seen with you in public

Daichi: Suga stop :-((((

Sugawara: I’m fugly as fuck

Tsukishima: Fugly as fuck is a bit excessive don’t you think

Sugawara: No

Kenma: Send the selfies so we can hype you up!

Sugawara: No

Kenma: Send them

Oikawa: Send them

Sugawara: No

Sugawara: They have been deleted 😍

Daichi: Send me a selfie

Daichi: I miss your pretty face

Sugawara: Nooo

Sugawara: My outfit is terrible and doesn’t look good with my lipgloss 

Tsukishima: Why would your outfit matter? It’s so late right now

Sugawara: Because it’s a picture for Daichi

Tsukishima: Why do you have lipgloss on? It’s 1:30am

Sugawara: Why do you have so many stupid questions

Tsukishima: I think they’re reasonable

Sugawara: I think I’m ready to die

Daichi: HAHAH 

Sugawara: Anywhooooo

Sugawara: I’m gonna get ice cream rn

Tsukishima: At this hour?

Sugawara: Is it too late for ice cream?

Tsukishima: I think so

Sugawara: Well you’re wrong

Tsukishima: You’re being so mean to me for no reason? But that’s okay?

Sugawara: I’m literally nice you just have so many problems with my lifestyle

Tsukishima: Because your lifestyle scares me

Daichi: Can I go with you Suga?

Daichi: I can’t sleep lol

Sugawara: Yes! I was gonna invite you lol

Daichi: I’ll head over then

 

-

 

Oikawa: Hypothetically speaking

Oikawa: If someone is on a date and the waitress keeps FLIRTING with the guy they’re on a date with

Oikawa: How does one tell the waitress to leave them alone forever

Sugawara: Just make it obvious that it’s a date. Hold hands across the table or something like that

Iwaizumi: Get off your phone idiot we’re on a date

Oikawa: I’m sorry, I didn’t know this was a date because THE WAITRESS WAS FLIRTING WITH YOU

Iwaizumi: she’s gone now so get off your phone

Oikawa: I want to leave

Iwaizumi: This is your favorite restaurant 

Oikawa: Well suddenly I hate it

Iwaizumi: Stop

Iwaizumi: get off your phone

Kenma: Why are they like that

Hinata: Why doesn’t Oikawa just say he’s jealous? Like why is it always a whole scenario

Sugawara: Because he’s embarrassing

Kenma: nicely said

Hinata: When you guys just get jealous so easily

Kageyama: Remember when you didn’t want Oikawa to call me Tobio

Hinata left the chat

 

-

 

Asahi: I have been to Starbucks twice

Asahi: And I’m getting ready to go again

Nishinoya: 😎

Nishinoya: No blood just caffeine for Asahi

Sugawara: Please drink some water

Asahi: No water just caffeine for me

Sugawara: Also, make sure you’ve eaten something

Nishinoya: No food just caffeine for Asahi

Sugawara: I’ll get a pizza delivered to your place if you don’t eat

Asahi: DONT SUGA SAVE YOUR MONEY FOR YOURSELF

Sugawara: it’s just a pizza

Asahi: Pizza costs money

Sugawara: Well then, you two better eat something or I will order that pizza

Asahi: fine fine fine Noya we’re stopping at a convenience store before starbucks

Nishinoya: But my frap 😫😫😫

Sugawara: Your frap can wait

Bokuto: HAHAH YOU DRINK THOSE

Bokuto: if I get a frap I get the matcha one. But I usually just get iced coffee

Akaashi: a man🥰🥵🥵😳🥴🤤

Bokuto: AKAASHIII

Nishinoya: They’re good 😔

Oikawa: They aren’t

Kageyama: Hinata doesn’t even get those

Hinata: HAHAH

Nishinoya: I-

Nishinoya: You all are so MEAN

Iwaizumi: Mature*

Kenma: Do you like tea?

Nishinoya: Occasionally 

Kenma: Grow up 

Kenma: Asahi teach this boy to be a man

Nishinoya: IM THE MANLIEST ONE HERE

Asahi: Tanaka exists

Tanaka: Hey thanks

Sugawara: Asahi exists

Tanaka: DAICHI EXISTS

Kuroo: Kageyama exists

Iwaizumi: Bokuto exists

Bokuto: UM OKAY BUT YOU IWAIZUMI

Kageyama: Kuroo exists

Nishinoya: I am

Nishinoya: Being

Nishinoya: Bullied

Chapter Text

Oikawa changed the group name to MY LIFE SUCKS

Sugawara: Yeah, we know

Oikawa: I just fell down the stairs

Sugawara: What 

Sugawara: How

Oikawa: IDK I WAS GOING DOWN THE STAIRS AND BLINKED AND THEN I WAS ON THE GROUND

Oikawa: My knee hurts 

Iwaizumi: Are you okay?

Oikawa: My knee is BLEEDING

Kageyama: Haha

Oikawa: EXCUSE ME

Oikawa: I’M HURT

Oikawa: TOBIO THIS SHOULD BE YOU

Iwaizumi: Shut up

Oikawa: Iwa-chan I’m out of bandaids and I’m suffering and so so sad 

Oikawa: And Tobio wants me to DIE

Oikawa: He wishes that I DIED when I fell down those stairs

Sugawara: Literally where did he say that

Oikawa: Read between the lines Suga.

Iwaizumi: I was already going to come over

Iwaizumi: I’ll be like fifteen minutes?

Oikawa: Get here in ten or you don’t love me

Iwaizumi: I’m fifteen minutes away

Oikawa: Get here in five minutes or you don’t love me

Iwaizumi: I’ll turn around and go home

Oikawa: You hate me

Sugawara: So Iwaizumi saying he’s going to just go home doesn’t ? scare you ?

Oikawa: No

Sugawara: Scary 😳 my bottom energy can’t relate

Oikawa: Glad we can all finally agree I’m a top 😙

Kageyama: Sure

Oikawa: EXCUSE ME???

Iwaizumi: You’re so annoying

Oikawa: You hate me

Oikawa: My knee is bleeding and NOW IT’S BRUISING

Oikawa: AND SO IS MY HAND WHAT

Sugawara: How fucking hard did you fall down those stairs?

Oikawa: Hard enough for me to understand that the universe really hates me

Iwaizumi: I can be at your place in like. 8 minutes.

Oikawa: What

Oikawa: How

Iwaizumi: Running

Oikawa: Iwa-chan 🥺🥺

Iwaizumi: Shut up, idiot

Kuroo: Iwaizumi are you being bashful??

Kuroo: My heart just skipped a beat

Kuroo: My stomach is saying ✨🦋🦋🦋✨

Kuroo: And so is my you-know-what 😏

Oikawa: Shut up Kuroo

Kenma: Stop

 

-

 

Kenma: So uhhh

Kenma: Guess what?

Sugawara: Oh my god

Sugawara: Kenma do you have a story to tell us???

Sugawara: I’m so excited

Kenma: I’m not

Kenma: So I have a class with Inuoka right

Oikawa: Who

Hinata: omg I love him!!!!!!

Kageyama: Shut up
Hinata: How’s he doing?!!!??!??!?!!?

Kageyama: Shut up

Kenma: He’s doing fine I guess

Kenma: Anyway we were leaving class together and I was going to walk over to Akaashi’s apartment because we’re hanging out today

Akaashi: heart eyes heart eyes 

Kenma: Heart eyes heart eyes heart eyes

Akaashi: Heart eyes heart eyes heart eyes heart eyes

Daichi: Stop

Kenma: So Inuoka asked me where I was going and I told him and the conversation got really weird and uncomfortable??

Kuroo: Wait, how? What happened?

Nishinoya: UMMM Protective Kuroo????

Asahi: Nice

Tanaka: Kuroo is about to make me act up 

Kenma: SO LIKE

Kenma: Inuoka is in love with me apparently

Kuroo: WHAT

Kenma: He was explaining that he was talking to one of his friends about being in love with me, and then said he couldn’t pursue me because i’m ‘emotionally unavailable’ and ‘homophobic to myself’ 

Kuroo: So like

Kuroo: Do I not exist to him??

Kuroo: EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE???

Kuroo: The homophobic one just makes me laugh

Kuroo: When he’s homophobic but sucks your dick all the time 🥰💖✨

Sugawara: AHAHA KUROO SHUT UP

Daichi: Is that all that happened??

Kenma: NO IT GOT WEIRDER

Kuroo: What?

Kenma: SO HE’S TALKING ABOUT HOW HE’S IN LOVE WITH ME AND WANTS TO KISS ME 

Kuroo: He said that to you?

Kuroo: I’ll literally kill him

Kuroo: I’m going to make him run extra laps 💖

Sugawara: Yes Kuroo! Love that! 💕

Daichi: Don’t encourage him

Kenma: And in the same breath he literally says “but ur in love with akaashi”

Akaashi: Wait, we're in love???

Bokuto: WHAT

Kuroo: WHAT

Oikawa: I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING

Oikawa: IWA-CHAN IS LAUGHING TOO AHAHA

Oikawa: Ew wait intermission

Oikawa: attached image

Oikawa: Look at his dimples rn

Sugawara: I DINDN’T KNOW IWAISZUMI HAD DIMPLES I’M GOING TO CRY

Kuroo: IWA-CHANNNN 💖

Oikawa: Don’t call him that

Kenma: Omg

Kenma: But yeah sooo

Kenma: I guess I’m in love with Akaashi

Akaashi: Omg hi lover ❤️

Bokuto: Stop

Kenma: Hi baby boy, how are you doing? 💖 I’ll be at your apartment soon 🥰

Akaashi: Thank god because I’ve just been missing you so much 💓

Kuroo: Stop

Kuroo: Inuoka pisses me off 

Kuroo: Kenma when we go to practice on Tuesday I’m literally going to kiss you in front of everyone for every set you spike

Sugawara: YESSS

Tsukishima: That seems a little excessive

Akaashi: Kenma I don’t like when Kuroo talks to you 😖 Just makes me crazy jealous haha

Kenma: That’s how I feel when Bokuto talks to you baby😳🥵

Bokuto: Stop

Akaashi: Baby just say the word and he’s gone 🤞💖 You’re the only one for me

Kuroo: Stop

Bokuto: Stop

Kenma: AHAHA I’M OUTSIDE

Akaashi: Finally 🥺 the bed has been so cold without you 💔

Kenma: I’ll come warm it up for you baby 🥰

Kuroo: I hate you guys

 

-

 

Oikawa: UM GUYS

Oikawa: IWA-CHAN IS MOVING IN WITH ME

Sugawara: WHAT

Oikawa: YES

Kuroo: YES YES OMG

Kenma: Why?

Oikawa: What do you mean why?? Because he loves me, obviously

Iwaizumi: He’s getting too skinny

Iwaizumi: Apparently he has to have someone to take care of him at all times

Iwaizumi: I have to be there to make sure he eats because he’s an idiot

Oikawa: Sorry that I’m ugly

Oikawa: He’s already treating me like a burden 

Oikawa: You hate me

Iwaizumi: You’re an idiot

Iwaizumi: But you’re beautiful so stop it.

Iwaizumi: And I’m moving in with you because I’m in love with you but okay

Oikawa: Stop

Oikawa: Please

Iwaizumi: Why?

Oikawa: I’m embarrassed 

Oikawa: You never sweet talk me in the groupchat 😳

Kenma: Sweet talk wtf

Iwaizumi: That’s because you’re an idiot and never deserve it

Oikawa: YOU’RE SO MEAN

Iwaizumi: But we’re moving in together :-)

Kageyama: Awwww

Oikawa: Iwa-chan come over after work I miss your grumpy face (๑•́ ₃ •̀๑)

Sugawara: Oikawa you’re so needy

Oikawa: You would be too if you were dating my iwa-chan (´∀`)♡

Sugawara: I won’t argue with that

Daichi: Excuse me

 

-

 

Oikawa: ????!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Oikawa: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oikawa: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Iwaizumi: We get it. Stop

Oikawa: Noooo nooo you don’t

Oikawa: YOU DON’T GET IT AT ALL

Kenma: Literally what are you talking about?

Kuroo: Explain pls for the idiots in the chat 

Kuroo: It’s me. I’m the idiot ❤️

Oikawa: So I was talking about Terushima

Kuroo: Ew

Akaashi: Ew

Oikawa: And I mentioned VERY BRIEFLY 

Oikawa: That when I first met him I thought he was hot

Hinata: I mean...

Kageyama: What?

Asahi: Wut

Oikawa: AND I MET HIM BEFORE ME AND IWA-CHAN WERE DATING

Oikawa: So MAYBE i flirted with him JUST A BIT

Oikawa: AND USUALLY TALKING ABOUT STUFF LIKE THAT IN FRONT OF IWA-CHAN DOESN’T BOTHER HIM BECAUSE IT’S IN THE PAST

Oikawa: Even though he’s super jealous every other time

Oikawa: Which is FINE BECAUSE HE’S SEXY 

Hinata: Ew

Oikawa: But anyway I was telling him that I thought Terushima was hot because his tongue piercing

Oikawa: AND HE COMES HOME TODAY AND LIKE

Oikawa: HAJIME WOULD YOU CARE TO SHARE WITH THE GROUP WHAT YOU DID

Iwaizumi: attached image

Kuroo: NO WAY 

Kuroo: IWAIZUMI YOU GOT A TONGUE [email protected][email protected]#[email protected]?#

Kuroo: Daichi I’m so sorry, idk how to tell you this but I found a NEW DADDY

Sugawara: Kuroo I’ll kill you 

Nishinoya: IWAIZUMI YOU LOOK SO 

Nishinoya: SO [email protected]&I#!&@^

Nishinoya: HOT

Iwaizumi: Shut up

Oikawa: AND

Oikawa: He has a lisp. It’s so cute

Oikawa: BUT I ALSO WANT HIM TO FUCK ME

Hinata: UMMM ??? YOU DON’T HAVE TO SAY THAT

Hinata: WEIRDO

Oikawa: SHUT UP SHOUYOU

Nishinoya: HORNY OIKAWA HORNY OIKAWA

Oikawa: He won’t let me do anything because he can’t use his mouth for anything other than eating and drinking for a few days 😔

Kuroo: he can’t but u can ;;;;;;;;--))))))

Oikawa: BRB

Nishinoya: HORNY OIKAWA HORNY OIKAWA

Kuroo: YESSS

Chapter Text

MY LIFE SUCKS

Kenma: Good morning

Oikawa: It’s four in the afternoon

Kenma: How did everyone sleep?

Kenma: Just woke up to like 27 minutes of snapchats from Kuro singing Hamilton songs

Sugawara: Did you screen record it?

Kenma: I’d be a fool not to.

Hinata: I just want to say

Hinata: it’s nearly dinner time and you just woke up

Kenma: I just want to say

Kenma: What a waste of time it was reading your message

Hinata: calm down

Kenma: I want Kuro

Kageyama: Where is Kuroo?

Hinata: Wouldn’t you like to know

Kageyama: ????

Kenma: idk

Kenma: Why did I wake up so late 

Kenma: Disgusting

Kenma: I should just go back to sleep

Kenma: Forever

Oikawa: Actually

Oikawa: You should eat something since you’re up

Kenma: You make me sick

Oikawa: 😘

Kenma: 😘

Kenma: I want Kuro

Kenma: Kuroooooo

Bokuto: KURO IS HERE

Bokuto: HES NAPPING

Kenma: WITHOUT ME

Hinata: THE DAY IS BASICALLY OVER KENMA OF COURSE HE’S NAPPING WITHOUT YOU

Kenma: what do you have against me?

Kenma: I’m here, heartbroken, and you’re being so rude

Hinata: I don’t like it here

Kenma: Good

Bokuto: WE WERE PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND HE WAS TIRED

Akaashi: Why are you just screaming in here

Bokuto: SORRY

Bokuto: Anyways, Kuroo sucks at Tetris

Kenma: He’s terrible at Tetris

Sugawara: I’m not😎

Kenma: Tetris is a mom skill

Sugawara: Wut

Kageyama: Mom

Tsukishima: Mom

Yamaguchi: Mom

Tsukishima: he’s my mom, that’s gross if he’s your mom too

Yamaguchi: mom in law*

Sugawara: That’s better

Oikawa: I’m the dad of the team

Iwaizumi: You’re the mom that can’t handle wine and forgets about personal space

Oikawa: were you just waiting for me to reply? That was so fast

Iwaizumi: You’re not the dad of the team

Kageyama: Iwaizumi is like

Kageyama: cool

Kageyama: So he should be the dad

Oikawa: ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH HIM OR SOMETHING

Oikawa: AM I NOT COOL

Kageyama: No

Oikawa: TOBIO

Sugawara: HHAHAHA 

Kenma: Kageyama, your brain is incredible

Kenma: Like how do you see that

Kageyama: Idk it just kinda makes sense to me

Iwaizumi: Imagine if like

Iwaizumi: Me and Kageyama dated

Kageyama: lmao that’s actually so funny

Hinata: Why would you want me to imagine that

Oikawa: Are you trying to make me vomit or cry?

Oikawa: I’m doing both

Oikawa: Throwback to when Kindaichi had a crush on Tobio

Kageyama: Ha

Hinata: WHAT

Iwaizumi: Lol that was kinda cute

Iwaizumi: It was in middle school

Iwaizumi: He denies it to this day but he told me that he had a crush on him

Hinata: Admitting you like Kageyama is so scary

Kageyama: What is that supposed to mean

Hinata: That you’re so scary and I wanted to cry when I found out I liked you

Kenma: I-

Kenma: Shouyou what

Hinata: Idk idk I thought he was gonna hit me or something

Kageyama: You’re stupid

Hinata: YOURE STUPID

Kuroo: he’s not stupid

Kuroo: Kenma IM HERE

Kuroo: IM ON MY WAY HOME

Kenma: Cool beans

Kuroo: THATS ALL YOU SAY

Kuroo: I THOUGHT YOU MISSED ME

Kenma: Hurry uppppppp and come over

Hinata: Anyways Kageyama is stupid and scary and Kindaichi is dead to me suddenly

 

-

 

Akaashi changed the group name to My skin is horrible someone help please

Oikawa: AH

Akaashi: RIGHT

Oikawa: OILY OR DRY SKIN

Akaashi: DRY

Oikawa: I’LL SEND YOU A SNAP OF THE STUFF I USE!!

Akaashi: THANK YOU MY SKIN IS IN SHAMBLES

Bokuto: AKAASHI IS YELLING HAHA

Akaashi: I’m not

Bokuto: YOU WERE HAHA

Akaashi: You’re just crazy

Akaashi: Bokuto, come to the store with me. 

Bokuto: OKAYYY 🥰

Sugawara: The way he just demands it

Akaashi: Why would he refuse? We’re in love

Bokuto: THAT AND I WANNA HOLD HIS HAND RN

Oikawa: This energy╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

Oikawa: Iwa-channn

Iwaizumi: I’m blocking your number

Oikawa: (⁎⁍̴̆Ɛ⁍̴̆⁎)

Kageyama: ew

Oikawa: TOBIO

 

-

 

Sugawara: I’m craving Daichi’s hands around my neck

Hinata: this is the groupchat

Sugawara: my bad 😋

Sugawara: Daichi I want you to fuck me

Tsukishima: Wow

Daichi: Suga I’m not even HOME

Sugawara: Well then, come home

Nishinoya: DAICHI GO HOME WHERE ARE YOU

Daichi: Camping

Sugawara: With the Michimiyas 🙃

Oikawa: DAICHI

Daichi: omg

Oikawa: If that girl likes you, you need to stop hanging around her so much

Daichi: she doesn’t like me

Daichi: We’ve been friends for way too long for her to like me

Sugawara: We’ve been friends for a long time too

Sugawara: AND WE’RE DATING

Daichi: It’s different 

Oikawa: How??!??

Daichi: I’m not in love with Yui?

Oikawa: you’re giving her false hope

Daichi: She doesn’t like me

Sugawara: She does

Sugawara: But whatever lol

Sugawara: I miss youuuuuuuuu

Daichi: I miss you moreeeeee

Sugawara: Not possible

Daichi: It is possible

Yamaguchi: Suga you were just horny what happened

Nishinoya: HORNY SUGA HORNY SUGA

Daichi: no

Daichi: No horny suga while I’m gone

Sugawara: 🙃 well maybe next time you’ll tell her to fuck off🙃

Daichi: Suga

Sugawara: Daichi

Daichi: Suga

Sugawara: Daichi

Daichi: Suga

Sugawara: Daichi

Daichi: Suga

Sugawara: LMAOOO DAICHI STOP IM FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOU AGAIN

Tsukishima left the group

Yamaguchi: TSUKKI

Sugawara: Shhh

Sugawara: It’s simply natural selection 

Chapter Text

My skin is horrible someone help please

Akaashi: attached image

Akaashi: I did my makeup today

Sugawara: OMG AKAASHI YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL

Sugawara: ARE YOU WEARING LIPGLOSS ????????

Akaashi: Yes! Bokuto bought it for me yesterday

Akaashi: I thought it smelled good so he bought it to ‘make me smile’

Akaashi: He’s so cute.

Oikawa: CUTE CUTE CUTE

Kenma: AKAASHI I’M SO SO SO SO IN LOVE WITH YOU YOU’RE SO CUTE SO SO SO CUTE

Akaashi: Kenma Kenma Kenma ❤️

Kenma: Akaashi Akaashi Akaashi ❤️

Oikawa: I guess we all know who Akaashi’s favorite is

Kenma: Yes, it’s me :-) Go somewhere else to cry about it though, ok?

Sugawara: AHAHAHAH

Bokuto: WAIT THIS CONVERSATION IS MOVING ON WAY TOO QUICKLY

Bokuto: KEIJI YOU’RE SO BEAUTIFUL

Bokuto: YOU’RE SO BEAUTIFUL 

Bokuto: YOUR EYES LOOK BEAUTIFUL

Bokuto: YOUR LIPGLOSS 

Bokuto: YOU’RE SO BEAUTIFUL

Akaashi: Bokuto stop

Bokuto: OMG

Bokuto: AM I MAKING YOU BLUSH?

Bokuto: KEIJI KEIJI KEIJI

Bokuto: SEND A PIC PLS PLS 

Akaashi: No. Stop

Sugawara: Why not? I want to see you BLUSHING YOU’RE SO CUTE

Daichi: I’m beginning to think you’re in love with Akaashi, Suga

Sugawara: Good because I am!

Akaashi: Aww thanks Sugawara

Sugawara: CALL ME KOUSHI

Oikawa: AHAHAHA HE JUST SAYS THANKS

Oikawa: ALSO LOL SUGA I DON’T THINK BOKUTO WANTS A SELFIE

Nishinoya: AHAHAHA HE JUST WANTS NUDES IN THE GROUPCHAT 

Bokuto: NOT IN THE GROUPCHAT I JUST 

Bokuto: AKAASHI PLEASE

Akaashi: No. Stop 

Bokuto: PLEASE KEIJI

Bokuto: PLEASE

Akaashi: Stop

Kenma: Stop embarrassing him, Bokuto

Bokuto: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Oikawa: AHAHAHAHA

Sugawara: Daichi I want this energy ❤️

Daichi: Stop

Sugawara: You hate me

Sugawara: You don’t love me

Daichi: Stop

Sugawara: 💔

 

-

 

Akaashi and Bokuto

Akaashi: attached image

Akaashi: attached image

Akaashi: attached image

Bokuto: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bokuto: YOU’RE SO BEAUTIFUL. THANK YOU THANK YOU

Akaashi: You’re welcome

Akaashi: Now please stop embarrassing me in the groupchat

Bokuto: Okay!!!!!! 

Akaashi: And come over?

Bokuto: OMW BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!!!

 

-

 

Kuroo: GUYS GUESS WHAT

Bokuto: OMG OMG OMG

Tsukishima: Oh god

Tsukishima: What is it?

Kuroo: WHY ARE YOU REACTING LIKE IT’S SOMETHING HORRIBLE

Kuroo: I DISCOVERED SOMETHING AMAZING

Kuroo: IT’S INCREDIBLE

Kuroo: LITERALLY JUST FANTASTIC 

Kenma: Literally just say it, what’s wrong with you

Kuroo: (Wꀾꀄ)

Kuroo: It’s me

Oikawa: AHAHA IT IS

Oikawa: THE HAIR 

Kenma: Omg it’s so cute

Kuroo: Kenma you think I’m cute????? (W/ε\*)

Kenma: Yes. Stupid.

Kuroo: (@W▽^@)

Kenma: Omg stop. That one doesn’t even make sense, stupid idiot.

Oikawa: Stupid idiot

Oikawa: You sound like Shouyou and Tobio

Kenma: Ew why would you say that to me

Hinata: WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN

Kuroo: KENMAAAA

Kenma: What

Kuroo: YOU’RE 

Kuroo: SO 

Kuroo: !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kuroo: I’M SO OBSESSED WITH YOU RIGHT NOW

Oikawa: He was literally just insulting you

Iwaizumi: You do the same thing.

Oikawa: Shut up Iwa-chan!!

Kenma: If you’re obsessed with me then come over 

Kuroo: OK. LET ME SHOWER

Kenma: No, shower over here, idiot.

Kuroo: Okay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sugawara: AHAHAHA HE SAID NO

Sugawara: KENMA AHAHAHA

Kuroo: I’M OUTSIDE KENMA LET ME IN

Kuroo: I’M IN I’M IN

Tsukishima: Why do you always update us about that?

Nishinoya: BECAUSE WE WANT TO KNOW!!!

Tsukishima: No we don’t.

Nishinoya: KUROO FUCKS KUROO FUCKS

 

-

 

Yamaguchi changed the group name to Omg

Kuroo: Omg?

Yamaguchi: Guys

Yamaguchi: guys guys guys guys

Yamaguchi: attached image

Yamaguchi: look at him!!!!

Yamaguchi: He’s just sleeping!!!! His face is so squished!!!!

Yamaguchi: He’s so cute!!!!!

Hinata: Ew

Yamaguchi: No stop!!!!!

Yamaguchi: He had a long day and he’s so tired and he’s sleeping on me and it’s so so cute!!!!

Sugawara: Yamaguchi what is this energy

Sugawara: It’s so cute but what

Yamaguchi: Idk do you ever have days where you’re just like

Yamaguchi: extra in love?

Kageyama: Yes

Kageyama: Also, Shouyou can I come over?

Hinata: YESSSS!!!!!!! You don’t even have to ask!!!!

Yamaguchi: WELL ANYWAY that’s how I feel right now!!!!!!!!!

Yamaguchi: TSUKKI TSUKKI TSUKKI

Kuroo: TSUKKI TSUKKI TSUKKI 

Yamaguchi: TSUKKI TSUKKI TSUKKI

Kuroo: TSUKKI TSUKKI TSUKKI

Yamaguchi: TSUKKI TSUKKI TSUKKI

Kuroo: TSUKKI TSUKKI TSUKKI

Kenma: Okay that’s enough

Kuroo: Oh hey Kenma 🥰❤️💕

Sugawara: Wow

Tsukishima: Tadashi why

Tsukishima: You’re so embarrassing

Yamaguchi: And you’re so cute!!!!!!!

Tsukishima: Stop.

Tsukishima: You’re the cute one

Sugawara: TSUKISHIMA AWWW

Tsukishima: Stop

 

-

 

Oikawa: Hey guys so I’m about to check myself into a mental hospital ❤️

Sugawara: WHAT

Iwaizumi: Stop

Sugawara: WHAT

Iwaizumi: Calm down he’s joking

Oikawa: No I’m not 💕

Oikawa: I’m going to fail my math test tomorrow

Oikawa: And I can’t fail this class

Oikawa: And I feel like I’m going to fucking throw up and I’m freaking out over it haha

Oikawa: Because I need this math class to graduate so if I fail it I can’t

Oikawa: And I’m goin gto fail it

Oikawa: And I found out the university will excuse me if I’m either in jail, dead, or in the hospital and I’m too beautiful to go to jail

Oikawa: And I mean I guess I could die but I think maybe Iwa-chan would be sad

Iwaizumi: You think maybe?

Iwaizumi: Stop overthinking this. You’re going to be fine, you’ve been studying all week

Sugawara: Hmm ok I get it!

Sugawara: I support you!

Iwaizumi: Don’t support him wtf

Oikawa: I’m going to do it 🥰

Iwaizumi: I’m coming home and I’m picking up sweets on the way

Oikawa: … What kind of sweets?

Iwaizumi: What kind of sweets do you want? I’ll go anywhere for you

Oikawa: Awww Iwa-chan I’m going to cry

Oikawa: I’M SO STRESSED OUT

Oikawa: LIKE I’M SO STRESSED OUT THAT I FEEL LIKE I’M GOING TO PASS OUT

Oikawa: AND YOU’RE THE BEST BOYFRIEND IN THE WORLD

Oikawa: I DON’T DESERVE YOU

Iwaizumi: Just shut up and call me, okay?

Oikawa: Iwa-chan (●´□`)♡

Iwaizumi: Calllllll meeeee

Oikawa: Okay

Kuroo: So I just caught up in reading the chat and

Kuroo: Iwaizumi I think I’m in love with you

Kenma: Me too

Sugawara: Me too

Kageyama: Me too

Chapter Text

Hinata changed the group name to where is tobio

Sugawara: tobio

Kenma: Tobio

Daichi: Tobio

Yamaguchi: Tobio

Akaashi: Tobio

Kuroo: Tobio

Oikawa: TOBIO

Hinata changed the group name to where is Kageyama

Sugawara: Aww are you embarrassed?

Hinata: No. 

Hinata: Shut up

Hinata: Why would you even asj me that

Kenma: Asj

Tsukishima: asj

Hinata: WHY IS EVERYONE MAKING FUN OF ME TODAY

Kenma: Idk what you mean

Kenma: We make fun of you everyday 

Hinata: I’M NOT EVEN ACTIVE IN THIS CHAT EVERYDAY

Kenma: Yeah ❤️

Hinata: WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN TO ME

Oikawa: You’re an easy target

Sugawara: And you’re embarrassing

Tsukishima: And annoying

Hinata: STOP

Hinata: ALL I WANTED WAS MY BOYFRIEND TO TEXT ME BACK

Sugawara: Embarrassing

Tsukishima: Annoying

Oikawa: Easy target ❣️

Kageyama: Sorry, I was helping Atsumu with something

Oikawa: Oh. 

Oikawa: You’re hanging out with

Oikawa: Him?

Oikawa: Hm.

Kageyama: Stop

Kageyama: Shouyou do you want to go out to dinner tonight?

Hinata: Yes!!!!!!

Asahi: When they plan their dates in the groupchat 😍
Kenma: Shouyou

Sugawara: Shouyou 

Tanaka: Shouyou

Oikawa: Atsumu 😡😡

Kageyama: Stop

Kageyama: You’re going to make Shouyou weird

Hinata: WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN

Hinata: HE’S NOT GOING TO MAKE ME WEIRD

Kageyama: YOU’RE BEING WEIRD RIGHT NOW

Hinata: NO I’M NOT

Kageyama: YES YOU ARE. IDIOT

Hinata: STUPID

Sugawara: STOP

Sugawara: Hinata I’m proud of you! Kageyama mentioned Miya and you didn’t even say anything!

Daichi: He’s working on his jealousy 

Kenma: HAHAHA

Kenma: How do you know?

Daichi: I’m his father

Oikawa: Am I a joke to you Daichi?

Daichi: Yes

Sugawara: AHAHAHA

 

--

 

Kuroo: Hello

Kuroo: My wonderful, wonderful friends

Akaashi: Please don’t include me in that

Kuroo: My wonderful, wonderful friends plus Akaashi

Kuroo: I’m craving something rn

Oikawa: Is it pizza????

Oikawa: Because I’ve been thinking about pizza for two hours but Iwa-chan is sleeping on me so I can’t move

Kuroo: It’s 3am

Oikawa: Okay and???

Kuroo: No. It’s not pizza

Sugawara: Ice cream!

Kuroo: No no no

Kuroo: I’m craving

Kuroo: Kenma in a skirt 

Hinata: Ew

Sugawara: Hinata, why are you still up?

Hinata: Uhhhhhmmmmm

Hinata: Tobio is over

Sugawara: OH

Sugawara: What’s up? What’s going on? What are you guys doing?

Daichi: Suga stop. Come back to sleep

Sugawara: No

Kageyama: Alexander come back to sleep

Sugawara: HAHA

Daichi: Koushi, come back to bed.

Sugawara: Yes daddy 😋😋

Oikawa: This conversation got ugly so fast

Kuroo: Kenma

Kuroo: Kenma that could be us

Sugawara: Does Kenma even own skirts?

Kuroo: I’m glad you asked

Kuroo: attached image

Kuroo: attached image

Hinata: Omg

Sugawara: KENMA YOU LOOK SO CUTE

Bokuto: WAIT KENMA AND AKAASHI HAVE MATCHING SKIRTS

Kuroo: THAT’S CUTE

Akaashi has removed Kenma from the chat

Akaashi left the chat

Kuroo: NOOOO

Sugawara: I see they still have to work on becoming proud skirt owners

Sugawara: Like me 😋

Daichi: Koushi I said to come to bed

Sugawara: Are you gonna yell at me? 😋😋

Oikawa: You’re literally so scary Suga

 

--

 

Sugawara: I just found out

Daichi: Shut up??

Sugawara: That DAICHI

Daichi: SHUT UP

Sugawara: Has a FOLDER ON HIS PHONE

Sugawara: For my booty pics!!!!!

Sugawara: Specifically the booty pics i send him where he can see my mole??

Oikawa: The mole…… on ur … face….????????

Oikawa: Suga what

Sugawara: NO HAHA

Sugawara: I have one on my booty too 😋

Kenma: Why don’t you just say ass

Hinata: Or butt

Kenma: Butt is ugly

Hinata: You’re ugly

Kenma: No, you are. Ugly

Oikawa: Idk how to explain it but booty is a very sugawara word

Sugawara: I think so too!
Kuroo: Don’t be shy Suga show us ur booty mole

Oikawa: BOOTY MOLE

Sugawara: attached image

Sugawara: 😋

Kenma: OMG YOU ACTUALLY SENT IT

Kenma: I JUST PEED EVERYWHERE

Oikawa: Omg

Oikawa: You guys are too comfortable in this groupchat

Oikawa: But also Iwa-chan I’m sorry I don’t have a cute freckled butt

Kuroo: Sorry his boring white cheeks are blinding you everytime you guys fuck ❤️

Oikawa: KUROO

Iwaizumi: Why are we talking about this

Kageyama: Umm can we change the topic

Kageyama: I don’t think I want to see Sugawara this way

Hinata: Don’t look wtf

Kageyama: Idiot I’m not! You don’t look

Hinata: Stupid I’m not!

Daichi: Suga!

Sugawara: Yes? 

Daichi: Stop sending things like that in the groupchat!

Sugawara: No. I like attention

Oikawa: HAHAHA

 

--

 

Kenma: Just a reminder

Kenma: That I love

Kenma: Kuro

Kenma: So much

Kenma: And I hear you all thinking

Kenma: But Kenma you cannot love him he’s way too loud and annoying

Kenma: And yes. He is. 

Kenma: But he’s so quiet and cute with me

Kenma: attached video

Akaashi: You could have just sent the video without hyping yourself up like that 

Kenma: No I couldn’t because that’s way too embarrassing

Oikawa: LMAO WHAT IS HE EVEN SAYING

Oikawa: I CAN’T HEAR HIM

Oikawa: WHY IS HE MUMBLING

Kenma: Stop!!!! That’s how he always talks to me!!!!

Oikawa: ANNOYING

Kenma: NOOOO

Sugawara: DAICHI LOOK AT THIS

Daichi: I’M LOOKING I’M LOOKING

Sugawara: Kenma I can’t breathe he’s so cute

Sugawara: He’s just ON THE COUCH

Sugawara: EXISTING

Sugawara: BEING SO CUTE

Daichi: When Kenma puts his legs on him!!

Sugawara: AND HE TURNS AWAY FROM THE TV AND SMILES AT HIM

Sugawara: ‘ BABY DID YOU WANT SOMETHING?’

Sugawara: ‘ COME HERE I WANT TO HOLD YOU’

Oikawa: wait that’s kinda cute 

Daichi: Kinda????

Sugawara: KINDA???

Sugawara: That smile is going to be in my dreams comforting me for the rest of my life 💗💓💕💕💖💘💝

Daichi: Suga don’t fall in love with my ex

Sugawara: Ok first of all

Sugawara: Why would you bring that up

Sugawara: Second of all

Sugawara: Too late!

Sugawara: Boy you got my helpless 🥺🥰💕

Sugawara: Finish the lyrics if ur in love with Kuroo 💞

Bokuto: Look into your eyes and the sky’s the limit I’m HELPLESS

Kageyama: Down for the count and I’m drowning in ‘em

Oikawa: Helpless!

Hinata: Kageyama WHAT

Kageyama: Don’t be weird

Hinata: You’re weird

Hinata: Kuroo has weird hair and you’re in love with him APPARENTLY

Kenma: You’re all ugly

Kenma: Especially you, Shouyou

Kenma: But

Kenma: He’s mine that boy is MINE 💘✨

Kuroo: KENMAAAAA

Kuroo: Come here I want to cuddle you! 

Kenma: Stop. You’re embarrassing

Kuroo: AHHH YOU’RE SO CUTE

Kuroo: Wait does this make me ALEXANDER

Iwaizumi: Why did you capitalize his name

Kuroo: Kenma 

Kuroo: I don’t have a dollar to my name

Kuroo: An acre of land a troop to command a dollop of fame blah blah blah blah

Kenma: idiot

Kageyama: How do you not know the easiest part

Kuroo: Whoops

Kuroo: Guess I was so focused on touching Kenma’s sweet thighs that I couldn’t remember 😼

Oikawa: Ugly bitch

Chapter Text

Akaashi changed the group name to My Identity is Being Stolen Heart Eyes

Kenma: Heart eyes

Kuroo: By who??

Bokuto: BY WHO?!

Akaashi: Inuoka?

Akaashi: I barely know him and he’s stealing my identity

Kuroo: How is that even a thing

Kenma: Idk but he’s starting to talk like Akaashi

Kenma: He sent me something and was like “Ew I’m gonna vom”

Kenma: He never says that

Kenma: Akaashi says that

Kenma: And then he was like “omgomgomg” 

Kenma: And just a bunch of other things that Akaashi says

Akaashi: He’s gonna murder me so he can take my place and get closer to Kenma heart eyes

Kenma: Heart eyes heart eyes

Bokuto: Not heart eyes

Akaashi: I’m so scared of Inuoka

Akaashi: How does he know I talk like that when I don’t even talk to him

Akaashi: Why is he in love with you so openly

Akaashi: He’s just allowed to exist so weirdly

Bokuto: HAAHA

Akaashi: I’m like weirdly uncomfortable 

Akaashi: Ew

Akaashi: Anyways

Akaashi: I redownloaded Love Live and I’m obsessed again

Bokuto: YES ITS STILL SO FUN

Akaashi: It really is

Daichi: You’re making me want to redownload it

Daichi: But I don’t have any space on my phone

Kuroo: You’re a grown man. How did you use it all??

Daichi: Not gonna say it’s because I have a million photos and videos of suga but that might be why

Kuroo: Makes sense

Daichi: Love Live takes a lot of space

Sugawara: You can download it on my phone! And you can play on there

Daichi: I LOVE YOU

Sugawara: Lmaooooo

Oikawa: You’re telling me that Suga doesn’t have that many pictures of Daichi?

Sugawara: I do but I buy more icloud storage 😎

Oikawa: Rich kid tingzzz ✨🥰

Sugawara: Yes sir

Kenma: You’re both scaring me right now

Akaashi: Inuoka is scaring me

Akaashi: ew ew ew 

Akaashi: Bokuto come hug me 

Bokuto: I can come over in like 30 minutes???

Akaashi: I guess that works…..

Bokuto: AKAASHI PLEASE

Akaashi: It’ll do

Bokuto: OKAY WAIT I MIGHT BE ABLE TO COME OVER IN LIKE 15

Akaashi: 🥰

Sugawara: What is he even doing that he was able to cut his time in half so quick

Kuroo: Probably working out

Bokuto: WORKING OUT

Akaashi: 🤤

Oikawa: I-

 

-

 

Asahi: Just found out that Noya doesn’t know how to fold clothes 🤢

Nishinoya: Just found out that Asahi wants to break up with me

Sugawara: Noya, didn’t I teach you how

Nishinoya: Yes but I FORGOT

Asahi: HOW 

Asahi: You’re an adult

Nishinoya: But putting everything on hangers is so much faster

Asahi: My boyfriend is SCARY

Nishinoya: Ex boyfriend because you just broke up with me

Asahi: I-

Nishinoya: YOU'RE NOT GONNA FIGHT FOR ME

Asahi: You’re so complicated

Nishinoya: I’M HEARTBROKEN

 

-

 

Kageyama: Hoshiumi is in town :-)

Hinata: Ew

Kageyama: Stop

Hinata: No

Hinata: He’s loud and annoying and his hair is so bright and he’s so short. He thinks he’s cool just because he plays volleyball

Tsukishima: You just described yourself

Hinata: WHAT

Kageyama: No Hoshiumi is fun

Kageyama: I was gonna see who wanted to go out with us 

Hinata: ME!

Yamaguchi: Me and Tsukki will go

Tsukishima: What

Yamaguchi: 🥺

Tsukishima: Whatever

Nishinoya: I wanna go!!!

Kageyama: Okay cool. We’re going tonight so I’ll text everyone the info. Just let me know if anyone else is in :-)

Oikawa: Why do you interact with so many people???

Oikawa: Like

Oikawa: You have a life outside of us

Oikawa: That makes me sick

Kageyama: What do you want me to say

Iwaizumi: He’s clearly jealous that you have friends other than us

Oikawa: NOT TRUE IWA-CHAN

Iwaizumi: You literally told me that you missed Tobio the other day

Oikawa: WHY MUST YOU OUT ME LIKE THIS

Iwaizumi: You deserve it

Oikawa: \\\٩(๑`^´๑)۶////

Kageyama: I miss you too

Oikawa: EW NO DON’T SAY THAT

Oikawa: TOBIO YOU'RE UGLY

 

-

 

Akaashi: I almost got ✨hit by a car✨💗

Akaashi changed the group name to I think you all take me for granted

Sugawara: W8

Sugawara: Seriously?????

Sugawara: Are you okay???

Akaashi: Yes

Akaashi: I was walking across the street when it was clear but this big truck stops his car and reverses super fast and would’ve hit me if the worker that was conveniently next to me pulled me away.

Akaashi: I have nothing prepared for death

Akaashi: No funeral playlist

Akaashi: No outfit

Akaashi: Ew ew I could have died

Akaashi: must be a hate crime

Akaashi: Oh well I’m alive

Sugawara: Thank goodness

Sugawara: Why is your first thought death

Akaashi: Idk sounds easy

Kuroo: Dying is easy young man, living is harder

Akaashi: lol that was actually a good one

Kuroo: You’re a dead girl walking

Akaashi: Okay that’s enough

Akaashi: Anyways

Akaashi: I’m alive

Akaashi: So count your blessings I guess

Akaashi: Bokuto is kinda crying about it but he’ll stop soon

Akaashi: I’m gonna go hug him

Akaashi: Hopefully I don’t die

Akaashi: Haha

Akaashi: IM UNCOMFORTABLE I HAVE TO LEAVE

Kuroo: HAAHHA OMG

Kuroo: Akaashi

Akaashi: I have to leave

Kuroo: Akaashi

Akaashi: Look around look around at how lucky we are to be alive right now

Akaashi: Okay actually though I’m gonna hug my boyf

Sugawara: Is he okay??

Oikawa: NO AHAH WHAT

Chapter Text

I think you All take me for granted

Oikawa: QUCK

Oikawa: QUICK

Oikawa: WHAT’S EVERYONE’S FAVORITE DESERTS

Kageyama: Mine is quck ❤️

Oikawa: Tobio I’ll kill you

Hinata: Mine is knowing how to spell desserts!

Oikawa: SHOUYOU DIE

Kuroo: Mine is Kenma!

Oikawa: NO

Sugawara: Daichi!

Oikawa: N O

Akaashi: Red velvet cake!

Oikawa: Yes!

Oikawa: Thank you

Akaashi: And Bokuto

Oikawa: I HATE ALL OF YOU

Bokuto: AKAASHI

Akaashi: Stop

Bokuto: Come over!!

Akaashi: Okay. Stop texting me in the groupchat

Bokuto: Okay!!

Kuroo: Oikawa why are you asking for our favorite desserts? 

Kuroo: Also mine is vanilla ice cream

Sugawara: AHAHA WHAT 

Sugawara: Boring bitch

Kuroo: Excuse me

Oikawa: I can’t tell you guys! It’s a secret!

Oikawa: But also..

Oikawa: Are you guys busy on the 27th?

Kageyama: No

Kenma: No

Daichi: No. Why?

Oikawa: It’s Hanamaki’s birthday!

Oikawa: I’m throwing him a surprise party!

Oikawa: And I invited everyone who used to be on Seijoh and figured I’d invite you guys too

Oikawa: So I need to make everyone’s favorite things!!

Kenma: I love that it was a surprise and you weren’t supposed to tell us and then told us two messages later ❤️

Oikawa: Shut up kenma you know I can’t keep secrets!!

Kenma: Yeah because you’re stupid

Oikawa: ⊙︿⊙

 

-

 

Kuroo: So I had a thought

Kuroo: And it’s so scary!

Oikawa: What

Kuroo: AKAASHI

Kuroo: Did Inuoka take your hair?? Or like??? Anything of yours??

Akaashi: What? What kind of question is that?

Kuroo: What if he’s trying to like

Kuroo: PRACTICE DARK MAGIC ON YOU TO BECOME YOU

Bokuto: OH MY GOD

Akaashi: First of all why would you bring Inuoka up

Akaashi: I’m scared of him

Akaashi: Second of all

Akaashi: What even made you think of that

Kuroo: THINK ABOUT IT

Akaashi: I DON’T WANT TO THAT’S SCARY

Bokuto: AKAASHI 

Bokuto: DID HE TAKE ANYTHING?!??

Akaashi: I literally only met him a few times

Kuroo: AHHHHH

Kenma: Stop

Bokuto: AHHHHH

Kenma: INUOKA ISN’T GOING TO PRACTICE DARK MAGIC ON AKAASHI OMG

Kuroo: AHHHH

Kenma: IT’S 3AM GO TO SLEEP

Kuroo: AHHHHH

Kenma: Kuro, come to bed.

Kuroo: Yes sir 😳

Sugawara: You guys woke me up

Sugawara: AHAHA WAIT I JUST READ THE CHAT

Sugawara: You’re all IDIOTS

 

-

 

Kuroo: I’m craving something

Kuroo: Something…

Kuroo: Chaotic?

Bokuto: Omg you too??

Sugawara: Aren’t you always chaotic?

Kuroo: Idk what you mean

Daichi: Whatever it is. Stop

Kuroo: IDK WHAT YOU MEAN

Kuroo added Tendou to the chat

Tendou: HEY OMG I’M BACK

Tendou: Omg Oikawa hey ❤️❤️

Oikawa: Ew. 

Tendou: Wait I have an idea

Tendou added Ushijima to the chat

Kuroo: Omg Ushi say hiiii

Kenma: Ew, Kuro, don’t call him that

Oikawa has left the chat

Hinata has left the chat

Kageyama has left the chat

Tendou: Natural selection I guess

Ushijima: What is this

Ushijima: I don’t have any of these numbers saved 

Kuroo: Ushi 💔

Ushijima: ...What

Akaashi: Omg Kuroo why do you have his number if he doesn’t have yours?

Kuroo: Maybe we’re long lost lovers and he’s just forgotten about me 💔

Kenma: You’re definitely not.

Kuroo: Omg wait Kenma are you getting jealous over Ushi? ❤️

Kenma: Stop.

Kuroo: Don’t be jealous! Come here, I’ll kiss you 😋

Sugawara: Kuroo stop being ugly

Sugawara: Also that’s my emoji

Tendou: This groupchat is a lot more boring than I remember it being :(

Bokuto: HEY

Tendou: Maybe it’s because Oikawa is gone 

Iwaizumi removed Tendou from the chat

Kenma: Doing God’s work everytime 

Ushijima has left the chat

Sugawara: LMAO

 

--

 

Kageyama: Shouyou is so

Sugawara: Annoying? 

Oikawa: Embarrassing?

Tsukishima: Immature?

Kageyama: No!

Kageyama: I was going to say cute

Sugawara: Awww! He is!

Hinata: I’M NOT IMMATURE

Tsukishima: You’re an immature jealous embarrassing annoying idiot 

Hinata: UM??!!!

Hinata has added Miya Atsumu to the chat

Hinata: Say hi to Atsumu! We’re friends now because I’m not an immature jealous embarrassing annoying idiot

Atsumu: AHAHAH

Oikawa: WHAT

Oikawa: W H A T 

Iwaizumi: Omg

Atsumu: AHAHA OIKAWA???

Atsumu: OMG WAIT

Atsumu: HAJIME???

Atsumu: I MISS YOU COMING OVER FOR DINNER MAN HAHA

Iwaizumi: I haven’t done that in years

Atsumu: Yeah exactly!

Oikawa: EXCUSE ME

Oikawa: HAJIME

Oikawa: H A J I M E ?

Iwaizumi: Omg, stop

Hinata: Tooru be nice to him

Oikawa: HE DATED YOUR BOYFRIEND

Kageyama: Omg

Atsumu: For a whole two years 😍

Sugawara: Omg

Hinata: It’s fine!!!!!!!!!! WE’RE FRIENDS!!!!!

Oikawa: No

Kenma: Tooru you’re being

Tsukishima: an immature jealous embarrassing annoying idiot?

Kenma: I was going to say ugly as fuck

Kenma: But yes 

Nishinoya: Omg oikawa is the new Shouyou

Atsumu: Gasp

Atsumu changed Oikawa’s name to Shouyou #2

Shouyou #2: I’LL KILL YOU

Atsumu: (´∀`)♡

Chapter Text

I think you All take me for granted

Oikawa: If your significant other didn’t exist, who would you date from this chat?

Iwaizumi: Daichi 

Oikawa: WHT

Oikawa: YOU DIDNT EVEN HESITATE

Kuroo: Hajime doesn’t hesitate, he exibhits no restraint. He takes and he takes and he takes

Kuroo: I’d date Kageyama of course😘😘

Kenma: Akaashi or Sugawara

Oikawa: WHAT ABOUT ME

Kenma: No

Sugawara: Akaashi or Kenma😋😋

Kenma: 😚

Akaashi: 😚 Kenma, Suga or 😍🤤🤤Kageyama 🤤🤤😍

Yamaguchi: Probably Asahi

Oikawa: Does no one like me???!!

Daichi: Iwaizumi

Asahi: Aw omg thanks 

Asahi: I've never thought of this

Asahi: Yamaguchi

Oikawa: I don’t think you realize how cute I am guys

Nishinoya: TANAKAAAAA

Tanaka: NOYAAAA

Oikawa: ʕʘ‿ʘʔ

Tsukishima: Ew idk I guess Tobio

Hinata: 🙃

Oikawa: HOW WOULD YOU CHOOSE TOBIO OVER ME

Tsukishima: No

Oikawa: WHAT DO YOU MEAN NO

Tsukishima: No

Hinata: I don’t want to pick

Oikawa: JUST PICK ME

Oikawa: choose me

Oikawa: love me

Hinata: No

Kageyama: I’ll date you, Oikawa

Oikawa: THANK YOU TOBIO

Hinata: WHAT

Hinata: WHY WOULD YOU PICK IF I DIDNT PICK

Kageyama: It’s just Oikawa

Hinata: JUST OIKAWA

Oikawa: JUST OIKAWA

Sugawara: no one here is ever satisfied

Sugawara: Kuroo don’t start

Kuroo: 😿

-

 

Sugawara: My dad is ☺️ visiting me 

Daichi: PAPAWARA

Sugawara: YES DAICHI

Sugawara: HE MISSES YOU SO MUCH

Sugawara: AND ASAHI

Asahi: :,-)

Daichi: PAPAWARA PAPAWARA

Oikawa: PAPAWARA IS SENDING ME

Oikawa: LIKE THAT IS ALL DAICHI HAS CONTRIBUTED

Sugawara: He loves my dad

Sugawara: They are broskis

Sugawara: It’s so CUTE

Daichi: PAPAWARA

Daichi: SUGA CAN I COME OVER

Sugawara: YES

Sugawara: ASAHI PLEASE COME OVER TOO

Asahi: Plans on the groupchat involving me

Nishinoya: EPIC

Daichi: I’LL BE OVER SOON. I JUST NEED TO DO SOME DISHES

Sugawara: 😚

Daichi: 😚

 

-

 

Akaashi: I have to DELETE ANIMAL CROSSING AND RESTART

Sugawara: Don’t

Kenma: That’s what I’ve been telling him

Akaashi: UGLY FUCKING ED SULLIED MY CUTE ISLAND

Akaashi: BLUE ASS UGLY IDIOT WITH BLONDE EMO BANGS 

Akaashi: STUPID COCKY BITCH

Kenma: He’s fugly but DO NOT RESTART

Akaashi: If I could set his house on fire I would

Akaashi: If I can make a landslide happen and only destroy his house I would

Akaashi: If I restart then that means I might not get Deirdre

Akaashi: I time skipped so far FOR NOTHING THE BITCH DIDNT WANT TO LEAVE I WAS ALMOST TWO YEARS AWAY FROM TODAY

Bokuto: Just shun him

Bokuto: Don’t look at him or talk to him Akaashi DONT EVEN THINK ABOUT HIM

Bokuto: Take Care of everyone else tho

Oikawa: I JUST LOOKED UP ED SO I CAN SEE HOW HE LOOKS AKAASHI NOOOOO

Akaashi: He looks like a twister mat

Akaashi: I want to stomp on him until he’s gone

Tsukishima: wow

Akaashi: Tsukki you don’t get it

Akaashi: MY ISLAND IS CALLED BADDIES FOR A REASON ED DOES NOT BELONG HERE

Tsukishima: I never knew Akaashi was one to judge based on appearance

Akaashi: he’s rude AND UGLY 

Akaashi: He needs to pick a struggle and pack his shit

Sugawara: Shunning takes a while but it works

Sugawara: I’ve done it because I only allow elite villagers on my island

Akaashi: I’m fencing off the bridge connecting him to the main part of the island

Akaashi: Good luck building relationships from all the way over there Ed

Akaashi: I hope he rots in his house

Sugawara: HHAHAHA OMG

Akaashi: I built his house right by the cemetery 🥰

Tanaka: Why do you have a cemetery?

Akaashi: 🥰

Tsukishima: What if you get an uglier one later?

Tanaka: Why do you have a cemetery?

Akaashi: why would you even SAY THAT TSUKKI

Kenma: WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT TSUKKI

Tsukishima: It’s something to think about

Akaashi changed the group name to I’d rather DIE

Akaashi left the group

Bokuto added Akaashi to the group

Bokuto: AHHH AKAASHI COME BACK

Tanaka: BUT WHY DOES HE HAVE A CEMETERY???

Akaashi: I need to isolate Ed

 

-

 

Hinata: I cleaned my room

Hinata: Attached image

Sugawara: Oooh what’s the occasion

Hinata: Kageyama is coming over

Oikawa: 😳

Sugawara: 🤪

Kenma: 😝

Kuroo: 😈

Nishinoya: KAGEYAMA FUCKS PLEASE PLEASE?????

Hinata left the group

Kenma added Hinata to group

Kageyama left the group

Kenma added Kageyama to the group

Hinata: We’re gonna watch a movie actually

Kenma: I doubt it

Nishinoya: KAGEYAMA FUCKS IM MANIFESTING IT

Nishinoya: IM RANDONAUTING IT 

Asahi: NOYA 

Sugawara: NOYA HAHAHA

Hinata: No NO NO NO NO 

Hinata: Just a movie because Natsu will be there

Nishinoya: BOOOOOOO

Nishinoya: I’m gonna stay manifesting tho because the night is still young and Natsu might leave

 

-

 

Kenma and Hinata

Hinata: NATSU ISN’T COMING ANYMORE

Kenma: So?

Hinata: SHE ISN'T COMING ANYMORE

Hinata: SHE'S NOT SPENDING THE WEEKEND WITH ME AND KAGEYAMA

Kenma: And?

Hinata: WE’RE GONNA BE ALONE NOW ALL WEEKEND

Kenma: He’s your boyfriend, calm down

Kenma: Now get off your phone and talk to him idiot.

Kenma: And keep me updated 😎

Chapter Text

I’d rather DIE

Kuroo: GUYS SOMETHING BIG IS COMING!!!

Kuroo: IT’S SOMETHING AMAZING

Kuroo: LIKE SO SO SO AMAZING IT’LL BE THE HIGHLIGHT OF YOUR LIFE

Kuroo: IT’S SO GOOD 

Sugawara: What

Oikawa: What

Asahi: What

Bokuto: WHAT

Akaashi: oh em gee is he dropping an album? 😍

Kenma: I love that you think I’m dating someone who isn’t tone deaf ❤️

 

--

 

Oikawa: Oh my god I’m about to lose it

Oikawa: Kuroo.

Oikawa: What are you doing?

Oikawa: What’s this amazing thing?

Oikawa: Can’t you just tell us?

Oikawa: It’s been two hours

Oikawa: I don’t want to go to bed until I know

Oikawa: PLEASE

Iwaizumi: Stop

Iwaizumi: Come to bed, stupid

Nishinoya: Kuroo isn’t here for this joke someone please fill his spot

Kageyama: Alexander come back to sleep

Oikawa: Tobio singing Hamilton always throws me off so much

Kageyama: I’m glad that I’m an enigma to you

Oikawa: HAHA YOU WISH

 

--

 

Kuroo: attached image

Akaashi: WHAT

Akaashi: SHUT UP

Akaashi: KENMA I’M GOING TO KISS YOU

Kenma: Shut up or I’ll fall in love with you

Sugawara: I’M GOING TO DIE

Sugawara: KENMA YOU’RE SO CUTE

Sugawara: KENMA YOUR BLOND HAIR

Sugawara: KENMA IT’S PINK

Kenma: Thank you, I know

Kuroo: DOESN’T HE LOOK SO CUTE

Oikawa: I’M LITERALLY

Oikawa: SCREAMING KENMA IT LOOKS SO CUTE

Oikawa: SEND ANOTHER SELFIE

Kenma: attached image

Oikawa: AHHHH

Akaashi: CUTE CUTE CUTE

Kenma: Stop stop stop

Kenma: Stop

Kuroo: Aww he’s embarrassed 

Kenma: Idiot. I’ll kill you

Kuroo: I look forward to it!!!!
Kenma: What kind of response is that? Idiot

Kuroo: Stupid

Kenma: Stupid idiot

Kuroo: Dumb pink haired bitch

Kenma: Dumb it was your idea ass bitch

Kuroo: Yeah ❤️ Cute idiot 

Kuroo: I’m not calling you handsome in the groupchat idiot ❤️

Tsukishima: That was scary

Sugawara: I agree

Sugawara: And Hinata and Kageyama exist

Hinata: HEY

Oikawa: Shouyou, sit down. It’s true

Hinata: We don’t do it as much anymore

Nishinoya: Why is that?? Did you guys fuck? Is that why?

Hinata: WHAT

Sugawara: Omg tell us

Kuroo: 🥵

Kageyama: No, we didn’t

Kenma: Boring

Kenma: Kuroo come take a shower with me because we aren’t boring like stupid Shouyou and cute Kageyama

Kageyama: Thanks

Hinata: We aren’t boring!

Sugawara: Yes you are. Next

Oikawa: HAHAH

Hinata: HOW ARE WE BORING

Sugawara: You two have been DATING for almost a YEAR

Sugawara: YOU’RE ADULTS

Sugawara: AND YOU WON’T TALK ABOUT SEX

Hinata: We haven’t done anything!!!!!

Sugawara: WHY

Hinata: UM

Kageyama: Shouyou shut up

Sugawara: WHAT

Hinata: Ugh

Hinata: Stupid Tobio

Kageyama: Idiot

Daichi: Stop

Kageyama: Sorry!!

 

--

 

Akaashi: Hey guys.

Akaashi: I have a problem with all of you.

Oikawa: What

Sugawara: WHAT? I’M SORRY

Kenma: What tf are you talking about

Kageyama: Oh no :-(

Akaashi: So today I was minding my own business right

Akaashi: And Kenma snapchatted me and I went to open it

Akaashi: And BOOM my front camera is open

Kenma: This story better not be going where I think it’s going

Akaashi: And I looked SO UGLY

Akaashi: So basically I don’t want to be friends with any of you anymore because I don’t need friends who won’t tell me that I’m walking around 24/7 looking like the bottom of a troll’s foot after he stepped in shit

Sugawara: AHAHAHA SAME

Bokuto: AkaaAAAASHI STOP

Bokuto: CAN I COME OVER

Akaashi: No. I’m going to sleep.

Kenma: Stop being mad over something so stupid

Akaashi: I HAVE TO SEE MYSELF EVERYDAY

Kenma: I LOOK AT YOU ALL THE TIME

Akaashi: THAT DOESN’T MAKE ME FEEL BETTER??

Bokuto: AKAASHI YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL

Kenma: YOU’RE SO PRETTY

Oikawa: BEAUTIFUL

Sugawara: YOU’RE SO BEAUTIFUL

Kageyama: Akaashi you’re very pretty

Akaashi: Ew guys stop

Bokuto: Akaashi can i PLEASE come over

Bokuto: I don’t like the thought of you being genuinely upset over something like this :-(

Akaashi: ...Okay

Akaashi: I’ll leave the door unlocked for you

Bokuto: 😙

Akaashi: 😙

Sugawara: STOP STEALING MY THING

Bokuto: 😙

Akaashi: 😙

Sugawara: AHHH

 

--

 

Hinata: Hey I’m leaving Yamaguchi’s in a few minutes

Hinata: Do I need to go to the store before I come over or did you buy more condoms?

Yamaguchi: Omg lol

Akaashi: Oh dear

Akaashi: Group chat, Hinata

Nishinoya: WHHHHAAAAAATTTTTTT

Sugawara: Condoms???????????????

Sugawara: HELLO?

Sugawara: HINATA COME BACK

Tsukishima: Wow

Kenma: AHAHAHAH

Kenma: SHOUYOU YOU IDIOT

Oikawa: Omg

Nishinoya: OMG I MANIFESTED THIS

Nishinoya: I RANDONAUTED IT

Nishinoya: IT WORKED

Sugawara: OMG

 

--

 

Hinata and Kageyama

Hinata: I’m so 

Hinata: Scared

Hinata: Help

Kageyama: How did you even send that to the groupchat?

Hinata: I DON’T KNOW

Hinata: I WASN’T PAYING ATTENTION

Kageyama: Idiot

Hinata: MY PHONE IS BLOWING UP

Kageyama: SO IS MINE IDIOT WE’RE LITERALLY IN THIS TOGETHER

Hinata: I’M SORRY

Kageyama: I feel like you’re crying

Kageyama: Omg

Kageyama: Just come over, I went to the store yesterday

Kageyama: And don’t cry over something that isn't even a big deal. Idiot

Hinata: I’M NOT CRYING

Kageyama: Whatever. 

Kageyama: Hurry up and get here

Kageyama: I’ll put on ur favorite movie and we can lay in my bed and watch it

Hinata: I love you

Hinata: Sorry I’m stupid

Kageyama: It’s not a big deal

Kageyama: I love you too

 

--

 

I’d rather DIE

 

Akaashi: I think you guys scared Hinata and Kageyama

Akaashi: It’s been three days

Akaashi: And they haven’t said a word

Kenma: AHAHAHA

Kuroo: It’s what they deserve

Oikawa: It’s not their fault they’re private about things!!

Sugawara: It’s what they deserve

Hinata: I’M NOT SCARED

Kageyama: IDIOT

Sugawara: OMG

Nishinoya: I can’t believe you guys have been fucking and you didn’t tell us

Sugawara: Kageyama, Daichi and I are your PARENTS

Sugawara: WE DESERVE TO KNOW

Oikawa: SUGA YOU’RE SCARY

Kageyama: It’s awkward to talk about

Hinata: And not a big deal

Kageyama: You guys always make it a big deal

Hinata: I’m embarrassed

Kageyama: Me too

Oikawa: Me too

Akaashi: Me too

Kenma: Me too

Yamaguchi: Me too

Nishinoya: It’s not a big deal at all Shouyou!! We all just joke and think it’s funny but if you two are actually uncomfortable talking about something like that just let us know! We don’t have to talk about anything if you don’t want to!

Asahi: Why does Hinata always activate your mom mode?

Nishinoya: BECAUSE I’M HIS MOTHER

Oikawa: EXCUSE ME????

Oikawa: I’M RIGHT HERE

Nishinoya: YOU’RE A JOKE

Nishinoya: I’M TAKING MY SON AND LEAVING

Oikawa: A JOKE?

Oikawa: IWA-CHAN ARE YOU HEARING THIS?

Iwaizumi: Omg

Oikawa: JUST OMG? THAT’S ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY

Oikawa: I’M BEING BULLIED

Hinata: These are BULLIES

Kageyama: These are high school fucking bullies
Oikawa: What

Kenma: And they want to come at me saying I’m 29 fucking years old with how I’m acting?

Bokuto: Fuck you!

Yamaguchi: Almost all of you! Attacking me!

Oikawa: WHAT

Kenma: Overwhelmed

Akaashi: Overworked

Sugawara: Overpaid

Oikawa: I’m on top of the world sittin’ pretty on a stack

Hinata: Tooru what

Hinata: How do you know that one but you don’t know the other

Oikawa: It’s because I’m ugly isn’t it?

Oikawa: AND SUDDENLY EVERYONE’S SILENT

Oikawa: Good to know you all think I’m hideous 

Iwaizumi: Shut up

Iwaizumi: Fucking idiot

Oikawa: Point the finger pull the trigger throw them off your trail you’ll get yours eventually😘

Oikawa: HAHA IWA-CHAN I CAN HEAR YOU LAUGHING IN YOUR ROOM

Sugawara changed the group name to Gabbie Hanna stans UNITE

Kuroo: 🥵

--

 

Daichi: So I just got off of work and read the chat

Daichi: And why in the world are you all quoting Gabbie Hanna

Nishinoya: Sorry you don’t understand their humor ❤️ Asahi and I will be taking the kids because we’re obviously better suited to take care of them

Sugawara: NISHINOYA I’LL KILL YOU

Nishinoya: COME ON GUYS

Nishinoya: LET’S RIDE

Kuroo: HAMILTON

Kageyama: SIR

Kuroo: MEET ME INSIDE

Daichi: Son

Kageyama: Don’t call me son 💔

Sugawara: AHAHAHA

 

--

 

Kenma: So Akaashi smells like coconuts 

Bokuto: I know!!!!!! It’s my favorite thing!!!!!!

Akaashi: I… What

Akaashi: I do??

Sugawara: What

Oikawa: He does?

Kenma: Yes.

Kenma: And I was at the store with Kuroo 

Kenma: And I was smelling candles because I like to stress buy them

Hinata: Why do you stress buy candles?

Kenma: None of your business, idiot

Hinata: Stupid

Kuroo: He just says they smell good and then lights a million at the same time to lay in bed and listen to music

Kenma: Hey

Kenma: Stop

Kenma: Anyway I was at the store smelling candles and I found a coconut one and I was like hmm this smells so good

Kenma: And makes me really happy for some reason

Kenma: And I didn’t know why but I bought it anyways

Kenma: And I just now realized

Kenma: It reminds me of Akaashi

Hinata: That’s weird

Kenma: No it isn’t, idiot

Oikawa: That’s… kinda cute?

Akaashi: Kenma you’re a freak

Akaashi: But also kenma heart eyes heart eyes

Kenma: Akaashi heart eyes heart eyes

Akaashi: Kenma heart eyes heart eyes

Kenma:  AKAASHI HEART EYES HEART EYES

Kuroo: Omg stop

Chapter Text

Sugawara changed the group name to I’m goals

Sugawara: Next time you see me

Sugawara: I’ll be

Sugawara: ✨ Skinty✨

Kageyama: That’s good? I think? 

Daichi: Oh god what are you doing

Sugawara: I am sitting in front of my toilet

Sugawara: I just

Sugawara: ✨ Vommed all of my breakfast✨

Sugawara: Cute right?

Kageyama: No, not cute

Daichi: Are you okay?? I’ll come over before work

Sugawara: I’m fine I’m fine

Sugawara: Don’t worry, I just feel funky today

Oikawa: Funky

Sugawara: Okay you say pop a squat 

Sugawara: Next caller next caller

Daichi: Are you sure you’re okay?

Sugawara: Yes 😚

Daichi: 😚

-

 

Sugawara: Okay so I havent left the bathroom

Sugawara: I vommed

Sugawara: ✨Twice ✨

Kageyama: Are you okay???

Tsukishima: Do you need anything??

Sugawara: My sons 🥰

Sugawara: I think I vommed because I was watching conservative tiktoks

Tsukishima: Don’t watch them

Sugawara: No no I watch them to feel angry

Sugawara: Because I repress all my anger so sometimes I watch things that will make me mad to feel a rush

Iwaizumi: Suga are you okay?

Sugawara: Yes I just need water

Iwaizumi: How are you texting while throwing up??

Sugawara: I just need water

 

-

 

Sugawara: Maybe I’m oversharing

Sugawara: But maybe this is a cry for help so I’ll continue

Sugawara: I vommed my tea and then my water and idk what’s happening

Sugawara: Maybe I just need to rest because I do be

Sugawara: ✨nauseous✨

Sugawara: Is this what happens when I finally eat two meals a day?

Sugawara: Cute

Daichi: I might be able to leave work a little early

Daichi: I’ll come over

Sugawara: Thank you

Oikawa: Do you want one of us to bring you anything?? We aren’t that far

Sugawara: I’m just gonna nap till Daichi gets here

Kuroo: Suga I will RUN to you if you need something

Sugawara: Lolol no no no I’m fine I’m fine

 

-

 

Daichi: Update: He’s sorta fine?

Daichi: He was still sleeping when I got off so I had to crawl through his window

Daichi: But he doesn’t have a fever so that’s good

Daichi: And he’s eating some soup right now

Daichi: Oh update: He’s ✨vomming✨

Yamaguchi: I’m a little scared

Daichi: He has an appointment with his doctor tomorrow anyways so we’ll see what’s happening

Oikawa: Oh god Suga

 

-

 

Sugawara: I’m back

Sugawara: I think I vommed more yesterday then I did when I had the stomach flu

Sugawara: Anyways apparently there's a stomach thingy going around

Sugawara: and it chose me out of everyone 😍

Sugawara: It’s because I’m stupid

Sugawara: But anyways I’m fine. I can hold food but not much because literally yesterday was hell

Sugawara: And Daichi is here with me taking a nap because I’m needy when I’m sick and he’s exhausted

Sugawara: My life is an experiment 😝

Akaashi: I’m glad you’re okay

Sugawara: Thank you!

Sugawara: Thanks for all of your concern everyone

Sugawara: But Kuroo don’t even run here because I’ll kick your ass

Kuroo: LITERALLY WHY

Kuroo: All I do is care about you

Sugawara: Idk I just will

Sugawara: The offer was very sweet tho so thanks

Kuroo: 😚

Sugawara: You wish

Kuroo: 😿

Sugawara: I’m gonna nap because I’m tired

 

-

 

Kuroo: Okay so I was thinking

Kuroo: It’s 2020 and Tanaka is 

Kuroo: 🤢straight🤢

Oikawa: ewww imagine being 🤢straight🤢

Tsukishima: ew

Tanaka: What is happening

Sugawara: YOU’RE STRAIGHT??? 🤢🤢

Kenma: Yuck

Akaashi: Sounds gross as fuck

Tanaka: I have a whole girlfriend

Tanaka: You guys know this

Tanaka: Also I stay winning because men are disgusting and they suck

Tanaka: So think about that before you all attack me

Tanaka: Kiyoko washes her face and has more than one bottle in the shower 😍

Asahi: You don’t have hair

Tanaka: Why is everyone attacking me today I LOOK GOOD WITH A SHAVED HEAD 

Yamaguchi: I bet your girlfriend told you that

Tanaka: WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

Tsukishima: lol

Tanaka: Ur all just mad because you love gross men bye talk to me when you have taste

Sugawara: You can say all you want about men but don’t EVER say I don’t use proper skin care products

Sugawara: You’re acting brand new mr. 3 in 1

Tanaka: THAT WAS THE PAST ME

Tanaka: I’VE MATURED

Tanaka: I don’t need this

Tanaka: I’m leaving because I’m going on a date with my GIRLfriend

Tanaka: Have fun marrying a gross man losers 

Akaashi: Literally what was that

Oikawa: I don’t know what just came over all of us but I am terrified to say the least

 

-

 

Tanaka: I’m pretty sure it’s obvious but I want you guys to know that I was totally joking 

Tanaka: I mean guys are gross but I know you guys wash your face 😍

Chapter Text

I’m goals

Nishinoya: I’m in

Nishinoya: IM IN LOVE

Nishinoya: SUGA IM IN LOVE

Sugawara: Cute

Nishinoya: Daichi IM IN LOVE

Daichi: I know

Nishinoya: TANAKA BROSKI IM IN LOVE

Tanaka: I KNOW THAT

Nishinoya: TSUKKI IM IN LOVE

Tsukishima: Don’t talk to me

Nishinoya: wow okay

Nishinoya: my momentum is ruined

Nishinoya: Attached image

Nishinoya: IM GONNA DIE IM GONNA DIE HES SO CUTE

Oikawa: Asahi

Oikawa: is

Oikawa: THE LITTLE SPOON SHUT UP WHY WOULD YOU SEND THAT WHY WHY WHY

Oikawa: THATS TOO CUTE 

Kenma: OMG OMG OMG SHUT UP SHUT UP NOYA 

Nishinoya: I KNOW RIGHT HES SO CUTE

Nishinoya: IM SO IN LOVE WITH HIMMMMM

Akaashi: I’m in love with him

Bokuto: no please

Nishinoya: no IM IN LOVE WITH HIM

Nishinoya: I THINK HES WAKING UP I HAVE TO KISS HIM

Akaashi: I have to kiss him

Bokuto: Akaashi no please

Akaashi: I’m joking Bokuto

Bokuto: :-(

Kuroo: YOU MADE HIM SAD FIX IT FIX IT

Akaashi: Bokuto bring your dirty clothes over

Akaashi: I’m doing laundry

Bokuto: I’ll be right over

Oikawa: You do his laundry?

Akaashi: Yes

Oikawa: why??

Akaashi: Laundry is therapeutic ☺️

Akaashi: And I steal his clothes ☺️

Asahi: noya why would you send that picture

Asahi: That’s embarrassing 

Nishinoya: No it’s cute

Oikawa: ITS CUTE

Kenma: ITS CUTE

Asahi: It makes me want to die

Nishinoya: ASAHI IM IN LOVE WITH YOU ACCEPT IT ALREADY

Asahi: You’re being so weird

Nishinoya: IM NOT IM JUST IN LOVE

Asahi: We’re literally dating Noya

Asahi: you tell me you love me all the time

Nishinoya: Ohh I get it

Nishinoya: you’re ashamed of me 

Asahi: I never said that

Nishinoya: It was implied

Asahi: It really wasn’t

Bokuto: Akaashi I’m here

Akaashi: Okay!

Nishinoya: so just like that? We’re done?

Asahi: What

Nishinoya: I never thought you’d let me go so easily

Asahi: what

Nishinoya: JUST SAY YOU LOVE ME DAMMIT

Asahi: I love you

Nishinoya: Awww Asahi I love you more I’m so happy you’re being affectionate in the groupchat

Tsukishima: You sounds like Yamaguchi

Yamaguchi: i don’t know what you’re talking about

 

-

 

Daichi: Suga’s outfit

Daichi: SUGAS OUTFIT

Akaashi: omg what is it

Sugawara: Daichi you’re actually being embarrassing 

Daichi: Show them show them

Sugawara: I need to take a picture

Daichi: Nevermind I’ll send a picture because you’re gonna take too long

Sugawara: lmaoo okay

Daichi: Attached image

Daichi: Attached image

Daichi: look how cute

Oikawa: Suga FUCK IT UPP BABY BOY FUCK IT UP

Yamaguchi: You look so cute

Oikawa: THE PINK AND MINT STRIPED LONG SLEEVE

Oikawa: WITH A COLLAR

Oikawa: NOT TO MENTION CROPPED

Oikawa: BABY BOY FUCK IT UP

Sugawara: omg shut up lmaoo

Kuroo: THE BAGGY BROWN PANTS AND CROP TOP NOT TO MENTION THE NIKES BABY BOY FUCK IT UP

Sugawara: Shut up shut upppp

Daichi: SUGAAAAA THEY LOVE IT

Sugawara: shut up shut up shut up

Akaashi: I have those pants but in blue and now that I see this I kinda wish I bought the brown ones baby boy fuck it up 

Iwaizumi: It’s a cute outfit Suga

Oikawa: No iwa-Chan don’t look hes too cute

Sugawara: I’m so embarrassed

Sugawara: I’m changing

Daichi: Dont I’ll die if you change!!

Sugawara: Fine

Nishinoya: ew are you on a 🤢🤢🤢 date

Sugawara: We’re just going out. It’s not really a date

Daichi: Like we’re just getting lunch together

Nishinoya: Ew ew they’re on a date🤮🤮🤮

Hinata: ew gross🤢🤢 a date??🤮🤮🤮

Nishinoya: Ew what if they’re 🤢🤢🤢 boyfriends

Sugawara: I hate you both

Sugawara: Kageyama I do not approve of Hinata

Kageyama: Hes an idiot so it makes sense

Hinata: TOBIO

Kenma: TOBIO TOBIO

Oikawa: TOBIO TOBIO

Tsukishima: Tobio

Hinata: ew why did I say that

Kageyama: it’s my name stupid you can say it

Hinata: NO

Tsukishima: you’re still on that

Hinata: it’s embarrassing 

Tsukishima: It’s normal

Tsukishima: you’re embarrassing

Hinata: STOP

 

-

 

Oikawa: Hypothetically speaking

Iwaizumi: what is it this time

Oikawa: If a girl in your group texts you outside of the project groupchat

Oikawa: and asks if your boyfriend is single

Oikawa: like for example if someone came up to me and asked “You and Hajime are really close, is he seeing anyone?”

Oikawa: what would you tell her

Oikawa: Hypothetically that is teehee

Sugawara: You say “he’s not really looking for a relationship right now but I’ll let him know” and then you never talk to her after the project 😋

Kuroo: You say “you snooze you lose”

Kenma: You say “sorry bbg he’s taken 😏😏 by me”

Iwaizumi: You say what suga said because he’s the only reasonable one here

Iwaizumi: If you want you can tell her that we’re dating

Iwaizumi: So she doesn’t bother you again

Oikawa: omg wait why didn’t I think of that AHHAH 

Oikawa: oh yeah because this is a hypothetical situation and I haven’t been staring at the message in fear

Iwaizumi: Yeah hypothetical just like all the other ones

Oikawa: Okay update: she’s a fast texter

Oikawa: okay update again: she’s insisting I set you two up

Sugawara: Haha set

Sugawara: Cause you’re a setter 

Asahi: lol

Oikawa: Okay update: she thinks I’m joking because I told her we’re dating teehee

Oikawa: I’ll just die it’s okay it’s okay

Iwaizumi: Why is she annoying

Oikawa: Iwa-Chan dont be rude! She’s a delicate girl

Oikawa: A delicate girl who wants me dead  ( ✌︎'ω')✌︎

Oikawa: Update: I told her I was just joking because my self esteem is damaged

Sugawara: NO IDIOT WHY

 

-

 

Oikawa: IM GONNA DIE IM GONNA DIE IWA-CHAN WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT

Iwaizumi: Sorry can’t text I’m walking back from campus

Oikawa: HAJIME I WANT TO DIE AND YOU JUST LEFT ME HERE

Bokuto: WHATS HAPPENING

Oikawa: OKAY SO I WAS WORKING WITH MY GROUP AND IWA-CHAN CAME IN TO DROP ME MY LAPTOP BECAUSE I LEFT HER ON THE CHARGER ON ACCIDENT

Oikawa: THEN HE KISSED ME 

Oikawa: IN FRONT OF EVERYONE

Oikawa: AND THEN LEFT

Oikawa: HAJIME I HAVE TO PRESENT IN FRONT OF THESE PEOPLE IN TWO DAYS

Iwaizumi: now they know we’re dating though

Oikawa: THATS NOT THE POINT

Nishinoya: He made a bold statement 😤😤

Nishinoya: Asahi where is that energy???

Asahi: stop that

Chapter Text

I’m goals

Kageyama: Hey guys!

Kageyama: I have a burning question

Sugawara: Ooooh sounds fun!!!

Kuroo: Anything for u!! Ask away king!!

Oikawa: Ew

Daichi: Yes?

Kageyama: ( ̄ε(# ̄)

Kageyama: Do you think this looks like Shouyou?

Kenma: Yeah, actually, it kind of does

Sugawara: HAHA IT DOES

Oikawa: Ew I hate agreeing with Tobio

Oikawa: But it does

Hinata: It doesn’t.

Kageyama: Yes it does

Hinata: Stop

Hinata: It doesn’t. Idiots. 

Hinata: Tobio, pick up my facetime call :-(

Kageyama: Sorry, I’m taking a shower

Hinata: Yeah sooo pick up my facetime call :-)

Nishinoya: UM

Nishinoya: WOAH

Sugawara: OMG

Oikawa: Ew. 

Tsukishima: Wow

 

--

 

Kuroo: The Kenma brain rot is crazy today guys

Tsukishima: What

Tsukishima: Brain rot? 

Tsukishima: You sound insane

Sugawara: What does that even mean?

Kuroo: Like my head is so empty 

Kuroo: And the only thing I’m thinking about is Kenma

Kuroo: ugh

Kuroo: Ugh ugh ugh

Kuroo: He ruined my life. He’s beautiful. Amazing

Kuroo: Omg he’s the only thing I want to think about for the rest of FOREVER

Kuroo: Like

Kuroo: Kenma in a crop top

Kuroo: Kenma in short shorts

Kuroo: Kenma sucking my dick

Kuroo: Kenma wearing panties

Oikawa: Um

Kuroo: Kenma wearing MAKEUP

Kuroo: Kenma existing

Daichi: We get it

Kuroo: Kenma wearing my hoodies

Kuroo: Kenma SLEEPING IN MY ARMS

Oikawa: Omg shut UP we get it

Kuroo: Kenma brain rot Kenma brain rot Kenma brain rot

Kuroo: SOMETIMES HE DOES THIS THING WHERE IF HE’S EATING FOOD AROUND ME AND I’M NOT EATING HE’LL LEAN OVER WITH HIS FOOD AND LIKE

Kuroo: GENTLY GRAB MY FAEC AND FEED HIS FOOD TO ME

Kuroo: IT SOUNDS WEIRD BUT IT’S CUTE HE’S JUST FEEDING ME

Kuroo: OMG KENMA TAKING CARE OF ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Akaashi: faec

Kuroo: SORRY IT’S THE KENMA BRAIN ROT

Daichi: LITERALLY SHUT UP KUROO 

Kuroo: NO

Kenma: Oh my god wtf

Kenma: Sorry guys I was in the bath

Kenma: Kuro shut up, you’re being so embarrassing 

Kuroo: Kenma I’m obsessed with you rn can I please come over

Kenma: Omg 

Kenma: Yeah but can you bring me iced coffee

Kenma: Pls baby 🥺

Kuroo: YOU CALLED ME BABY IN THE CHAT I’M ASCENDING

Oikawa: YOU’RE SO SCARY AND ANNOYING

Kuroo: I’ll be at your place in 20 minutes!

Daichi: Thank God

Daichi: Maybe now he’ll shut up

Sugawara: I think it’s cute!

 

-

 

Kuroo: attached image

Kuroo: attached image

Kuroo: attached image

Kuroo: attached image

Kuroo: attached image

Kuroo: attached image

Kuroo: attached image

Kuroo: attached image

Kuroo: attached image

Daichi: KUROO STOP

Kenma: Omg

Akaashi: Kenma, you’re so cute!

Akaashi: I love your outfit today

Oikawa: Kenma you know how much I love you

Oikawa: But if you don’t take your boyfriend's phone away I might snap teehee <3

Sugawara: SCARY

 

--

 

Yamaguchi: Guys look!

Yamaguchi: attached image

Sugawara: OMG AWW

Tsukishima: Why would you send that?

Tsukishima: It’s so embarrassing

Sugawara: IT’S NOT EMBARRASSING 

Sugawara: IT’S CUTE

Tsukishima: It’s not.

Sugawara: YOU’RE JUST SLEEPING

Sugawara: AND HUGGING HIM

Tsukishima: Stop

Yamaguchi: HE’S SO CLINGY

Yamaguchi: I LOVE IT

Yamaguchi: I have to leave for a week to go see my aunt in america 

Yamaguchi: AND HE’S BEEN SPENDING TIME AT MY APARTMENT EVERYDAY 

Yamaguchi: HE’S NEVER LIKE THIS

Tsukishima: Shut up Tadashi

Yamaguchi: No! You’re so cute!

Tsukishima: You’re cuter

Sugawara: OMG CUTE

Tsukishima: I’m going to die

Tsukishima: You’re going to be gone for a week

Yamaguchi: It’s just a week

Daichi: It’s just a week

Iwaizumi: It’s just a week

Tsukishima: You all say that as if you’d be okay with your boyfriends leaving for a week

Kuroo: I can’t leave Kenma for that long

Kuroo: We would both literally die

Tsukishima: Yeah exactly

Tsukishima: Ugh

Tsukishima: Tadashi can I come over?

Yamaguchi: YES YES YES YES

Kageyama: Wow

 

--

 

Oikawa: Iwaizumi and I broke up.

Sugawara: What

Sugawara: WHAT

Kuroo: My heart just shattered what what why?

Daichi: Oh my god what? What happened?

Daichi: Are you okay?

Kageyama: What happened?

Oikawa: He betrayed me.

Kuroo: ?????!!!!!!!!

Kuroo: Did he CHEAT ON YOU??

Iwaizumi: OH MY GOD TOORU

Iwaizumi: NO I DIDN’T CHEAT ON HIM

Iwaizumi: YOU’RE RIDICULOUS

Hinata: What’s happening???

Oikawa: He’s out having lunch with Ushijima 💔

Kenma: TOORU I’M GOING TO KILL YOU

Asahi: I literally stopped breathing wtf

Kenma: I WAS SO UPSET

Iwaizumi: TOORU STOP BEING STUPID. WE’RE CATCHING UP

Oikawa: Why are you talking to me? We broke up

Iwaizumi: We literally didn’t

Oikawa: You can’t say no to me breaking up with you 💔

Iwaizumi: Yes I can.

Iwaizumi: You’re so fucking dramatic. I hate you so much

Iwaizumi: Ushijima is leaving soon to hang out with Tendou, so I’ll on my way home in a few minutes

Oikawa: Your stuff will be on the lawn 💔

Iwaizumi: We don’t have a fucking lawn

Kuroo: This conversation doesn’t feel real

Kuroo: Kenma I’m scared

Kuroo: Let me lay on you 

Kuroo: Play with my hair 🥺

Kenma: Okay

Oikawa: Oh Iwa-chan will you play with my hair when you get back(/。\)

Iwaizumi: You don’t even have to ask

Akaashi: You two are so strange

Chapter Text

Gabbie Hanna stans UNITE

 

Sugawara: Yui Michimiya has the audacity

Sugawara: To CONFRONT ME

Oikawa: uh oh

Oikawa: What happened

Sugawara: SHE ASKED ME IF I WANT TO HANG OUT

Oikawa: Suga that’s not confrontation

Oikawa: That's just a kind offer

Sugawara: YOU DIDNT SEE THE LOOK SHE GAVE ME TOORU

Oikawa: I guess

Sugawara: WAIT OMG GIVE ME TWO SECONDS

Oikawa: Oh?

Sugawara: OKAY OIKAWA

Sugawara: are you free Saturday night?

Oikawa: Um

Oikawa: I am!

Sugawara: Perfect! 

Sugawara: You’re sleeping over at my place this weekend

Oikawa: Fun!

Sugawara: And we’re both gonna hang out with Yui

Oikawa: UM

Sugawara: Dont worry don’t worry I already asked and she said it’s fine

Oikawa: I don’t wanna I don’t wanna Suga why

Sugawara: I want you to come with me

Sugawara: We can use our bottom charm to figure out her weaknesses

Sugawara: We’ll make her feel comfortable like she’s one of us

Sugawara: Then we strike

Sugawara: And we watch her crumble in front of us

Sugawara: We ruin her

Sugawara: she’ll never even think of Daichi again

Oikawa: okay I have a couple things to say haha

Oikawa: 1. BOTTOM CHARM SHUT UP 

Oikawa: 2. Maybe calm down???

Oikawa: 3. Where is this happening so I know what to wear

Sugawara: We’re just getting dinner. After we can drink at my place?

Sugawara: without Yui

Sugawara: We have to flex our superiority with our outfits because not only are we cuter but we also have a better sense of fashion

Oikawa: You’re being weirdly scary rn and I want Iwa-Chan to hold me

Oikawa: But he’s at work 

Sugawara: I'd invite more people but we can’t immediately intimidate her. She’ll know it’s on purpose

Sugawara: But if anyone else wants to spend the weekend at my place you’re more than welcome! I have one bed and one futon but we can make it work

Kuroo: ME

Akaashi: That works out great actually because I’m not free until like 5 on Saturday but I can catch a late train?

Sugawara: YES AKAASHI YAY 

Kuroo: Um wow what about me

Sugawara: You can come too. But the bottom energy will be overpowering

Sugawara: So it’s up to you

Sugawara: Also you’re not allowed in my bed

Sugawara: Anyone who has slept with my boyfriend at some point can not sleep in my bed 🙃

Kuroo: that was in the past

Sugawara: I said what I said

Kuroo: Fine

Kuroo: I wanna get drunk with you guys it seems fun

Kuroo: KENMA WE’RE GOING TO SUGAS

Kenma: yay

Kenma: Akaashi heart eyes suga heart eyes Oikawa heart eyes

Bokuto: AM I INVITED PLEASE

Sugawara: lol yes whoever wants to come is welcome just lmk 🥰

 

-

 

Oikawa changed the group name to Lol

Oikawa: Daichi

Oikawa: Daichi you’re dead ( ◠‿◠ )

Iwaizumi: oh the face

Iwaizumi: Daichi what did you do?

Daichi: Nothing?? I haven’t even seen Oikawa since he got here

Oikawa: I’m at dinner 

Oikawa: With Suga and Michimiya and

Oikawa: I’m in the bathroom

Oikawa: Michimiya is literally in love with you so stop hanging out with her alone ( ◠‿◠ )

Oikawa: I might have to murder you

Oikawa: Suga is so uncomfortable whenever she talks about you ( ◠‿◠ )

Nishinoya: murder him murder him

Daichi: NOYA

Nishinoya: It’s for Suga’s sake

Oikawa: Well I’m going back out teehee Iwa- Chan I miss you and I’ll see you when I get back (╹◡╹)♡

Iwaizumi: Miss you more 

Daichi: I thought she knew we were dating??? What do I do???

Iwaizumi: Make it more obvious idk TELL HER YOURE DATING SUGA

Daichi: Do I text her rn?

Asahi: No that’s so awkward for them because they’re at dinner

Tanaka: Wait until like she asks you to hang out or something then you gotta lay the truth on her. Gently though

Tanaka: I’m great with women so listen to me

Asahi: You’ve had one solid girlfriend

Tanaka: KIYOKO IS THE ONLY WOMAN THAT EXISTS YOU DONT UNDERSTAND ASAHI

Daichi: AHH SHE THINKS I LIKE GIRLS OMG IS THAT GONNA DAMAGE HER

Daichi: I mean I don’t dislike girls

Daichi: But also I’ve only ever really really liked Suga 

Daichi: AM I GONNA HURT HER FEELINGS

Asahi: I mean her feelings or Suga’s sooooo

Asahi: Also it’s better to just tell her you don’t like her

Daichi: okay okay you’re right

Daichi: okay okay

 

-

 

Sugawara: attached image

Sugawara: Notice who’s missing??

Sugawara: KAGEYAMA HINATA TSUKISHIMA AND YAMAGUCHI 

Kageyama: We’re FaceTiming Yamaguchi

Sugawara: we miss himmmm

Kageyama: Lol so does Kei

Tsukishima: Stop

Tsukishima: I don’t want to be around drunk Kuroo or Bokuto

Yamaguchi: Sounds scary

Sugawara: Daichi’s here daichi’s here daichi’s here

Kuroo: Daichi’s here Daichi’s here Daichi’s here

Sugawara: NO 

Sugawara: Daichi come kiss meee

Kuroo: Daichi come kiss ME

Sugawara: Daichi you’re dead if you kiss him

Daichi: I wouldn’t kiss him lol

Sugawara: THERES SO MANY OF US AND IM LIKE WEIRDLY NERVOUS I HAVE TO PUT MY PHONE AWAY 

Sugawara: GOODBYE FOR NOW

 

-

 

Kuroo: Bokuto is in such a bad mood this morning lol

Bokuto: IM NOT

Daichi: You literally are

Hinata: What happened to Bokuto

Kuroo: He’s upset because Akaashi was too busy cuddling with Oikawa and there was no room on Suga’s bed for him

Sugawara: Kenma, Oikawa, Akaashi and me are the priority so we slept on the bed

Daichi: Attached image

Daichi: You guys looked so cute

Sugawara: Also Kuroo

Sugawara: If you ever throw up in my kitchen again

Sugawara: You will be on the next train home🙂

Kuroo: I SAID I WAS SORRY SUGA LOVE ME PLEASE

Sugawara: Never

Daichi: lmaooo







Chapter Text

Lol

 

Tanaka: Okay guys I need advice

Tanaka: So I want to take Kiyoko on a really really good date soon

Tanaka: Like I want it to be special

Nishinoya: I’m listening!!!

Tanaka: I think I’m gonna get us promise rings

Tanaka: But every time I think about it I shit my pants because I’m nervous 😎

Daichi: Aw thats so cute

Daichi: Not the shit part but all the other stuff

Nishinoya: BRO MY EYES ARE WATERING RYUU IM SO HAPPY WHAT

Nishinoya: Wait NO IM CRYING

Asahi: Tanaka he’s actually crying

Tanka: Noya lmaoo bro please calm down

Nishinoya: I can’t I LITERALLY CANT MAN

Nishinoya: You’ve liked her for so long and like she’s your girlfriend now

Nishinoya: Like you guys are together and it’s everything I’ve ever wanted

Tanaka: Noya lol

Nishinoya: I’ll never stop crying. I’m gonna still be crying as I take my last breath 

Nishinoya: Asahi hold me I’m SHAKING

Asahi: okay okay okay

Nishinoya: Anyways continue Ryuu

Tanaka: So I want to have a day full of cute fun?

Tanaka: I’m thinking we’ll go to Disneyland?

Tanaka: I say I’m thinking but I already bought the tickets soooo

Tanaka: Do you think she’ll enjoy it

Oikawa: Ohhh Disney sounds so fun

Sugawara: She’s gonna love it!!

Tanaka: Okay thank god I was so scared that it wasn’t enough

Nishinoya: Literally just get married to her right now I’ll shit forever

Nishinoya: Please Ryuu please bro I’m BEGGING I WANT YOU GUYS TO BE HAPPY TOGETHER FOREVER

Tanaka: Noya you're a mess I’m in love with you 🥰

Nishinoya: No I’m in love with YOU

 

-

 

Bokuto: AKAASHI I SAID IT ALREADY BUT I’LL SAY IT IN THE GROUPCHAT HAPPY VALENTINES DAY I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

Akaashi: Happy Valentines day Bokuto 💗

Oikawa: Aww

Akaashi: What’s everyone doing today?

Sugawara: Daichi 😍

Kuroo: Kenma 😍

Tanaka: Kiyoko 😍

Sugawara: Okay that is where I draw the line

Sugawara: don’t talk about the purest angel ever like that

Tanaka: “Purest Angel” HAHAHA 

Tanaka: That's so incorrect 

Nishinoya: I-

Asahi: ??? It’s somehow uncomfy when it’s about Kiyoko

Tanaka: 😿

Sugawara: Disgusting disgusting disgusting I’m gonna act like I never read that

Tanaka: So you can say THINGS LIKE THAT ABOUT DAICHI BUT I CANT SAY IT ABOUT KIYOKO

Sugawara: No because it’s scary when you do it 

Sugawara: Me and Daichi are making cookies together! What about you Akaashi?

Akaashi: I’m not too sure. Bokuto told me to come over later today but other than that he hasn’t given me any details

Bokuto: It’s a surprise

Akaashi: you’re so cute

Hinata: Kageyama came to my place this morning and gave me a bunch of gifts and he made me a cake! We’ve just been hanging out and cuddling all day

Oikawa: Iwa-chan made me breakfast and then we went shopping together

Oikawa: We bought matching shirts and I literally want to wear them forever

Sugawara: pics pics pics

Oikawa: I’ll send it once we take one. It’s so cute

Kuroo: Me and kenma are gonna go have a nice dinner and then fuck 😎

Kenma: A classic Valentines day

Kuroo: Exactly

Nishinoya: NICE KUROOOO

Yamaguchi: Tsukki bought me flowers and chocolate and watered all my plants for me and then we saw an early movie. He’s sleeping over tonight 🙈🥵🤤

Tsukishima: Tadashi why

Nishinoya: NICE TSUKKI

Nishinoya: Asahi gave me gifts and he’s just being so cute today. We’re having a Twilight marathon too 

Oikawa: Twilight wtf

Nishinoya: It’s funny trust me trust me trust me it’s peak comedy

Akaashi: Cute cute cute

 

-

 

Akaashi: Attached Image

Akaashi: Update: He made me dinner and decorated his place in the cutest way ever

Sugawara: SHUT UP SHUT UP THATS CUTE

 

-

 

Kageyama: Hinata is so

Kenma: Scary?

Oikawa: Embarrassing?

Sugawara: Loud?

Hinata: Why does everyone here hate me???

Kageyama: No he’s so cute

Kenma: OH???

Kageyama: We were walking and it was pretty busy and he’s slow as fuck and can never keep up with me

Hinata: WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING

Kageyama: You walk so slow

Kageyama: I’m setting the scene stupid

Hinata: UM WOW OKAY

Kageyama: And because he’s slow as shit we kept getting separated so he like ran up to me and wrapped both his arms around my arm and like just

Kageyama: held onto it so tight so it didn’t happen again

Kageyama: Idk I’ve just been thinking about that for like an hour

Kageyama: He’s so cute

Kenma: I JUST PULLED EVERY PIECE OF HAIR OFF OF MY BODY ONE BY ONE

Kenma: I SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE I WISH I SAW THAT

Kenma: THATS SO CUTE THATS SO CUTE

Hinata: Stop LITERALLY STOP KENMA YOU’RE INSANE

Kenma: I’M GONNA SELL MY IDENTITY AND START OVER SOMEWHERE FAR FROM HERE AND HOPEFULLY I’LL FORGET THAT I MISSED SEEING THAT

Hinata: KENMA SHUT UP 

 

-

 

Oikawa changed the group name to IM DROOLING

Oikawa: Attached image

Oikawa: He’s real

Oikawa: My boyfriend is real 

Oikawa: He’s so real and so hot

Sugawara: 🥵 Iwaizumi fresh out of the shower

Kuroo: Head empty just Iwaizumi’s biceps

Oikawa: He’s just so

Oikawa: Attractive

Oikawa: And I just

Oikawa: Want him to cum on my face

Nishinoya: Oikawa 😳

Nishinoya: OIKAWA IS HORNY IN THE GROUP

Nishinoya: EVERYONE TAKE YOUR SCREENSHOTS THIS IS RARE

Tanaka: HORNY OIKAWA HORNY OIKAWA

Tanaka: IWAOI STANS WE ARE BEING FED TODAY

Nishinoya: WE ARE FEASTING

Tsukishima: wow

Hinata: I’m disgusted

Oikawa: Oh shut up you’ve told me what you and Tobio did

Hinata: Sounds fake because I don’t know what you’re talking about

Oikawa: Maybe I’ll remind you right here in the groupchat

Hinata: OIKAWA NO IM SORRY HORNY OIKAWA HORNY OIKAWA

Nishinoya: EXPOSE HIM

Tanaka: EXPOSE THE ORANGE FUCK

Hinata: WHAT

Oikawa: your fate is in MY hands Shouyou

Hinata: No it’s not!!!

Hinata: The other day I had Kageyama specifically cum on my tummy so I can watch him

Tsukishima: WOW

Nishinoya: NICE NICE NICE KAGEYAMA NICE HINATA NICE NICE AMAZING

Kuroo: Hinata really just said the reynolds pamphlet

Kenma: KURO SHUT UP HAHA I’M PEEING BECAUSE OF THIS

Sugawara: Daichi they’re so grown :’-)

Daichi: That’s all you’re gonna say??

Sugawara: What else should I say?

Tanaka: That Hinata wanted Kageyama to cum on his stomach like a toaster strudel

Hinata: WHAT

Nishinoya: RYUU I STOPPED BREATHING YESTERDAY

Kenma: Why did you say tummy when you’re talking about your boyfriend’s cum

Hinata: Because tummy is a cute word

Yamaguchi: Hinata what

Tsukishima: Yamaguchi we don’t need to be surrounded by people like this

Kageyama left the group

Hinata: He’s leaving me here to DIE

Oikawa: I gotta go!!! Iwa-chan is calling me 🥵

Nishinoya: I’M LIVING

Nishinoya: EVERYTHING ABOUT ME IS THRIVING

Nishinoya changed the group name to Kageyama FUCKS and Iwaizumi FUCKS 😎😎

 

-

 

Atsumu: throwback to when this group chat wasn’t muted ☺️

Atsumu: However I come back to see that my Tobio is gone

Hinata: My Tobio but whatever

Atsumu: lol

Atsumu added Kageyama to the chat

Kageyama: Atsumu is here?

Atsumu: I’ve been here but I forgot about it lol

Kageyama: Nice

Kageyama left the group

Tsukishima added Kageyama to the group

Kageyama: Please

Tsukishima: No

Atsumu: Tobio I miss you

Kageyama: I miss you too

Hinata: Do you miss me???

Kageyama: Yes

Kageyama: You should come over

Atsumu: Omw omw

Hinata: NO OMW OMW OMW

Asahi: Plans 😍 in the groupchat 😍

Nishinoya: Let them be cute

Nishinoya: Also pay attention to me wtf

Nishinoya: Do you hate me or something?

Nishinoya: You should be kissing my forehead or something

Asahi: Lmaooo okay

Asahi: Carry on with your plans I guess

Kageyama: Kei is here Hinata

Hinata: Boo

Tsukishima: I was hanging out with him first so sorry I guess

Kageyama: We can all play smash bros :-)

Akaashi: I want to hug Kageyama so bad 

Akaashi: So so bad

Kuroo: Me too

Hinata: no

Kuroo: Hinata I’m a man in love please let me love him

Hinata: no



Chapter Text

Asahi changed the group name to all of suzu’s kittens are gone :’-(

Kenma: NOOOOOOOOO

Kenma: WHO’S GOING TO SEND ME PICTURES OF THEM NOW?

Asahi: I’m sorry!

Asahi: I can still send you some of Suzu!

Kenma: YESS SEND ME MORE OF SUZU

Kenma: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

Kuroo: Omg! Teehee

Kuroo: Asahi let’s hang out!

Asahi: Omg yes Kuroo let’s hang out!

Daichi: what

Sugawara: what’s going on

Hinata: Why did Kuroo say teehee

Oikawa: I’m scared

Kuroo: WHAT

Oikawa: You two are the last people I would ever expect to hang out together.

Oikawa: You’re planning something

Kuroo: I’m not!

Kenma: I think he is

Kenma: He’s been nervous all week

Kenma: Kuro is really bad at keeping secrets from me

Kuroo: I’M NOT PLANNING SOMETHING STOP

Asahi: Yeah, we’re just best buddies!

Kuroo: The best ever

Tsukishima: Ew

Daichi: Gross

Kuroo: Whatever!! Asahi I’m driving to your place right now!!

Kenma: Right now??????

Kenma: But Kuro who’s going to cuddle me all day 🥺

Kenma: I didn’t plan my day around you being busy!!!

Sugawara: Kenma you are so clingy

Kuroo: Kenma I have to go! My best buddy is waiting!!

Kenma: You hate me

Kageyama: I have to leave

Hinata: Alexander

Kuroo: Look around look around at how lucky we are to be alive right now

Kenma: Helpless 😣

Sugawara: HAHA THE EMOJI

Kenma: Kuro at least come kiss my forehead before you leave me forever 💔

Akaashi: So dramatic

 

-

 

Kenma: SO KURO IS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE

Kenma: REMEMBER A FEW HOURS AGO

Kenma: WHEN HE WAS RUDELY LEAVING ME FOR ASAHI

Kenma: attached image

Akaashi: HE GOT YOU A KITTEN???!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?

Asahi: Yes!! Take care of him!!! I love him so much!!!

Bokuto: A KITTEN?!?!??!?!

Kuroo: I brought him home an hour ago

Kuroo: And Kenma is still crying

Kuroo: I can’t get him to calm down

Kuroo: He keeps trying to cuddle it

Kenma: DON’T CALL HIM IT KURO

Kuroo: attached image

Oikawa: Awwww Kenma you look like a mess <3

Kenma: SHUT UP

Kenma: I’M JUST SO HAPPY

Hinata: WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO NAME HIM??

Kenma: OMG OMG OMG IDK IDK IDK

Kenma: KURO 

Kenma: KURO COME HOME SO WE CAN NAME HIM

Kuroo: Kenma I literally just left for the store, we can name it when I get back.

Kenma: Kuro!

Kuroo: Kenma, just wait a little bit, okay?

Kenma: :-(

Kuroo: Kittennn

Kenma: Fine :-(

Hinata: That’s such a weird pet name

Hinata: Let’s unpack that

Oikawa: Unpack? What are you? A therapist?

Kageyama: Omg he just followed this tik toker who says that to literally everything

Kageyama: And now he says it all the time like he knows what it means

Hinata: Hey.

Hinata: Let’s unpack why you’re being so rude to me right now even though I have done nothing but give you kisses today.

Kageyama: No.

Kenma: You are so weird Shouyou.

Kenma: Idk why Kuro calls me kitten but it’s okay because it’s my favorite thing ever 

Kenma: It’s so cute

Kenma: And he sounds good saying it

Sugawara: Good as in sexy???

Kenma: … Yes

Sugawara: Lol

Sugawara: Let’s unpack why you think it’s sexy

Akaashi: Let’s unpack why you think it sounds good

Tanaka: Let’s unpack why Kuroo got you a kitten and then immediately went to the store

Hinata: I hate all of you

Kageyama: Should we unpack that too?

Hinata: Stupid Tobio

Kageyama: :-D

Oikawa: Ew

 

--

 

Kenma: attached image

Kenma: Look at him!!! He likes boxes!!!

Kenma: There are boxes everywhere and he just!! Was going crazy!!! And jumping in them!!

Kenma: We named him Ren!!

Kenma: Because Kuro said I couldn’t name him Kuro :-/

Sugawara: KENMA YOU’RE INSANE HAHA

Kenma: Hey

Kenma: Stop that

Kenma: But anyways!

Kenma: attached image

Kenma: LOOK AT HIM SLEEPING NEXT TO KURO

Kenma: HE’S ALL CURLED UP NEXT TO HIM

Kenma: I’M GOING TO DIE EVERYWHERE

Akaashi: Everywhere?

Kenma: YES EVERYWHERE

Kenma: ASAHI ASAHI ASAHI

Kenma: THANK YOU

Asahi: Omg 

Asahi: This is so cute. You’re welcome! Ren will be so happy with you two!

Kenma: I’m going to cry

Oikawa: Interesting. Let’s unpack that!

Hinata: I HATE YOU ALL

 

-

 

Akaashi: Wait

Akaashi: This is literally a day late

Akaashi: But Kenma why are there boxes all over your apartment?

Tanaka: Oh yeah! I was going to ask about that 

Kenma: Oh

Kenma: Well

Kenma: You see

Kuroo: WE’RE MOVING IN TOGETHER

Sugawara: OMG OMG OMG OMG!??!?!?!?!

Kenma: Yes

Kenma: It’s nothing exciting, I’m just moving next door

Oikawa: OMG YESS IT’S SO NICE LIVING TOGETHER

Oikawa: I’M HAPPY FOR YOU GUYS

Daichi: Congrats and all but I’m surprised Kuroo wasn’t blowing up the chat about this

Kenma: Ahhh, he’s being shy about it

Sugawara: AWWW WHY

Kuroo: Idk it’s just!

Kuroo: It’s the first step for like everything!

Kuroo: I asked him to move in with me a few weeks ago and like

Kuroo: Idk! 

Kuroo: I want to get married and spend the rest of my life with him and wake up next to him everyday and have dinner with him every night and watch TV together and like

Kuroo: Him moving in with me is the first step to that and like it’s a big deal and like

Kuroo: IDK I LOVE HIM SO MUCH AND I’M OVERWHELMED AND NERVOUS

Sugawara: You want to marry him? 🥺

Kuroo: I’ve wanted to marry him since we were kids!!!!!!

Kenma: Kuro shut up you’re being so embarrassing

Kuroo: Suga asked!!!

Sugawara: IT’S SO CUTE

Sugawara: Omg

Sugawara: Kuroo Kenma

Sugawara: Kozume Tetsurou 

Kenma: EW SUGA SHUT UP

Kenma: I’M GOING TO DIE

Kenma: Kuro I want to marry you

Kuroo: I want to marry you too!!

Kenma: KURO I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU

Kuroo: I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU TOO

Asahi: Can’t you two do this somewhere else?

Akaashi: Seriously. It’s disgusting

Sugawara: NOOO STOP

Sugawara: IT’S BEAUTIFUL

 

--

 

Hinata: THE CUTEST THING EVER JUST HAPPENED TO ME

Oikawa: Ew this is going to be about Tobio, I can just feel it

Iwaizumi: Shut up

Sugawara: What happened??

Hinata: So Natsu was going through her school stuff from a few years ago and reading them to me

Kenma: NATSU CAN READ?????

Hinata: She’s going to be 13 in a few months lol

Oikawa: SHE’S WHAT????

Kenma: WTF WTF WTF WTF

Hinata: YES I KNOW I KNOW

Hinata: ANYWAYS

Hinata: She was going through a daily journal they had to have in class, and they had to write about someone who inspired them

Hinata: AND SHE WROTE ABOUT ME????

Kenma: THAT’S SO CUTE THAT’S SO CUTE

Oikawa: I’M GOING TO CRY THAT’S SO CUTE

Hinata: YEAH

Hinata: She wouldn’t let me read it though. But she let Tobio read it with her

Hinata: and the only reason she let him read it was because she said that I inspired her and he was all like ‘me too’!!!!!!!!

Kenma: AHHHHHHHH

Kenma: I’M ABOUT TO DIE

Kenma: THAT’S CUTE

Kageyama: Omg stupid why are you telling them about this

Hinata: Because it’s cute!

Hinata: You’re so cute Tobio!

Kageyama: Shut up, I’m not.

Kageyama: Also, Shouyou, will you please spend the night at my place?

Hinata: You don’t even have to ask!!!!

Oikawa: Ew

Kageyama: Stop that

Kageyama: I love waking up next to him

Sugawara: I’M GOING TO DIE AW

Sugawara: DAICHI DAICHI DAICHI

Daichi: I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW

Hinata: TOBIO IS SUCH A GOOD CUDDLER 

Oikawa: Why are we talking about this?

Hinata: I’M IN LOVE WITH HIM

Oikawa: Yeah, I heard. Get better soon<3

Iwaizumi: STOP

Oikawa: Iwa-chan don’t tell me to stop when you’re literally laughing right next to me!

Hinata: Tobio can I steal your old volleyball shirts again??

Kageyama: You don’t have to ask, idiot

Sugawara: Omg I’m going to vomit 

Sugawara: Daichi!!!!!!

Sugawara: Look at our son!!!!!!!

Daichi: 😭😭😭

 

--

 

Akaashi: Guess who’s stupid!!!

Akaashi: Just kidding, it’s me!

Akaashi: So I was just cooking something, and I had to dump a little bit of boiling water out of a pot

Oikawa: Oh no

Akaashi: and I was pouring it and then my hands started burning and I was like oh jeez 

Akaashi: So I started pouring it out a little slower as if that would help

Akaashi: And basically poured boiling water all over my hands!!!

Bokuto: Akaashi no!!! 

Bokuto: Do you want me to come over???? I can bring you something

Akaashi: Bokuto, you don’t need to bring me anything. But it would be nice if you came over

Sugawara: When did that happen?? Are you okay???

Akaashi: It happened like an hour ago and it still hurts :-(

Kageyama: Oh no :-(

Akaashi: Ugh I’m okay I guess I’m just complaining!!

Akaashi: I don’t know why I still kept pouring it even though I knew it was on my hands

Akaashi: It’s the brain rot I guess

Kuroo: Brain rot is no joke </3

Kenma: You’re both insane

 

--

 

Nishinoya: attached image

Nishinoya: Asahi isn’t home, so I’m going through his closet!!

Nishinoya: This shirt goes all the way down to my knees!

Kuroo: 😃 what the fuck 😃

Kuroo: Nishinoya YOU’RE SO CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nishinoya: Ikr? 🥰

Tanaka: BROOOOOO 

Tanaka: BRO YOU’RE MY WHOLE WORLD RN

Nishinoya: BROOOOOO 

Sugawara: Aww Noya!! Don’t be shy, send more pics!

Nishinoya: Okay!

Nishinoya: That one is from a little while ago, but I took a shower and here’s me trying on a different shirt!

Nishinoya: attached image

Sugawara: YOUR HAIR!!!

Oikawa: Omg omg omg awwww

Nishinoya: attached image

Nishinoya: Why does he own a shirt with carrots all over it

Nishinoya: And why are the sleeves so long (⋟﹏⋞)

Hinata: Omg that emoji looks like you

Kenma: Noya I’m going to Die

Kenma: You are so cute

Asahi: Omg Yuu!!

Asahi: Ahhh you’re so cute!!!

Asahi: YOU’RE SO CUTE!!

Asahi: Also the carrot shirt is my favorite one 🥺

Nishinoya: Then it’s my favorite too!

Asahi: You’re so cute

Asahi: I’ll be back soon!!

Nishinoya: Asahiii my handsome man!!!!!!!!!!

Nishinoya: Stop complimenting me in the groupchat!!! I’m getting embarrassed!!!!!

Asahi: Me too!!! Just call me instead!

Nishinoya: Okay!

Sugawara: You guys are so cute

Hinata: Let’s unpack why you think that



Chapter Text

Hinata changed the group name to Kageyama

Kuroo: LMAO??

Kuroo: The only group I EVER want to be apart of 🥵🤽

Kenma: Why did you choose that second emoji?

Kuroo: Idk it was calling to me

Kenma: You’re so stupid and weirfd

Kenma: I’m so in love with you

Tanaka: Woah

Tanaka: Kenma idk why but everytime you say things like that it catches me off guard 

Kenma: Good

Sugawara: Why is the group named after Kageyama?

Hinata: Because I love him!

Tsukishima: Ew

Yamaguchi changed the group name to Tsukki

Tsukishima: Why?

Tsukishima: Tadashi, why are you like this?

Yamaguchi: Because I love you!

Sugawara: NOBODY MOVE I’M GOING TO DIE

Sugawara: I’m obsessed with you two

Hinata: Stop. Be obsessed with me and Kageyama instead

Sugawara: Okay! I’ll be obsessed with everyone!!

Sugawara: But mostly just my Daichi 🥰

Daichi: Suga you’re so cute

Sugawara: You’re cuter! I love you!!

Daichi: I love you more!! 

Sugawara: Daichi!! Come over PLEASE!!!

Daichi: Omw!

 

--

 

Yamaguchi: attached image

Yamaguchi: What do you think?

Sugawara: Very cute! I have a pair that looks just like that!

Kuroo: LACE PANTIES OMG

Hinata: AHHHH YAMAGUCHI

Yamaguchi: OH MY GOD

Yamaguchi: teehee

Yamaguchi: TEEHEE TEEHEE 

Kenma: STOP SAYING TEEHEE???

Yamaguchi: I CAN’T 

Yamaguchi: I’M GONAN CRY

Nishinoya: Yamaguchi it’s looking right at me 👁👄👁

Yamaguchi: I

Yamaguchi: TEEHEE

Yamaguchi: THAT PICTURE WASN’T MEANT FOR YOU GUYS I’M SORRY

Tsukishima: Oh god

Kageyama: Dude everyone just saw your boyfriend's dick and you just say oh god??

Tsukishima: Oh god oh god

Sugawara: Well Tsukishima what do you think???

Tsukishima: Stop

Tsukishima: Omg

Nishinoya: Yamaguchi you look so cute!

Kuroo: True wtf he’s so blushy

Tsukishima: STOP LOOKING AT THE PICTURE

Tsukishima: TADASHI YOU’RE STUPID

Yamaguchi: IT WAS AN ACCIDENT

Yamaguchi: IT’S FINE 

Tsukishima: NO

Yamaguchi: WELL

Yamaguchi: AT LEAST I’M NOT LIKE OIKAWA WHO SENT FULL NUDES

Oikawa: EXCUSE ME

Oikawa: THAT MIGHT AS WELL BE ??? THERE’S LIKE NOTHING THERE

Sugawara: Well, I think you look nice Yamaguchi! There’s nothing to be embarrassed about!

Tsukishima: Don’t say that to him

Tsukishima: DON’T SAY THAT TO HIM OH MY GOD

Yamaguchi: TSUKKI CALM DOWN 

Tsukishima: NO

Tsukishima: YOU LOOK

Tsukishima: AHHHH

Sugawara: Omg. Keep going!

Tsukishima: No

Yamaguchi: Tsukki come over 💌

Sugawara: That emoji omg so cute

Tsukishima: I’m on my way

Oikawa: Suga I think you’re the only person I’ve ever met who responds to an accidental nude with ‘omg cute’

Sugawara: Well!!!!! It was an accident!! I don’t want him to be embarrassed

Nishinoya: Yes!! I agree!! Yamaguchi you look very cute!

Nishinoya changed the group name to NOT Tsukki, don’t send nudes

Yamaguchi: teehee teehee teehee

Hinata: HAHA STOP

Yamaguchi: TEEHEE I WANT TO DIE

Sugawara: I can send one to make you feel better!

Kuroo: DO IT YOU WON’T

Sugawara: attached image

Sugawara: Panties gang

Kenma: attached image

Kuroo: I just had seven strokes wtf

Kuroo: Kebnma i wasn’t expecitn that

Kenma: Lol

Kenma: Anything for Yamaguchi

Yamaguchi: Omg

Yamaguchi: Omg omg omg

Akaashi: attached image

Bokuto: WOAH

Hinata: attached image

Yamaguchi: HINATA HAHA YES WE MATCH

Hinata: YES

Sugawara: HOW CUTE

Oikawa: WHAT IS HAPPENING I 

Oikawa: THERE

Oikawa: AHHHH

Oikawa: But also

Oikawa: attached image

Oikawa: I don’t have panties but I do have pics of me with nipple clamps teehee teehee

Kuroo: I KNEW YOU HAD THOSE

Oikawa: SHUT THE FUCK UP KUROO

Yamaguchi: Thanks guys! I think I feel better

Yamaguchi: Now I’m gonna go and get edged by tsukki 

Kuroo: OH MY GOD

Nishinoya: YES TSUKKI

 

--

 

Sugawara: Sing once again with me

Sugawara: OUR STRANGE DUET

Sugawara: MY POWER OVER YOU

Kageyama: Grows stronger yet

Sugawara: And though you turn from me

Sugawara: To glance behind

Kageyama : The phantom of the opera is there inside your mind

Sugawara: Yes!!!!! Nice Kageyama!! I didn’t know you knew Phantom of the Opera!!

Kageyama: You said you liked it so I listened to it!:-)

Sugawara: My heart is going to explode I love you so much

Kageyama: I love you too!! :-)

Sugawara: (≧∇≦*)

Akaashi: Awww

Akaashi: What are you two cuties doing up? It’s almost 2am

Sugawara: I just got off of work

Akaashi: So late!!!

Sugawara: I know, I know

Kageyama: I can’t sleep

Kageyama: I think I’m having an allergic reaction 

Hinata: There’s, like, bumps and rashes all over his arms and legs

Hinata: He has a fever!!!!

Kageyama: And it’s really itchy

Kuroo: The fever is itchy?

Kenma: AHAHA

Sugawara: Oh jeez

Akaashi: Oh no

Akaashi: What happened?

Kageyama: I’m not sure

Hinata: I think he’s allergic to cats

Hinata: We were at Asahi’s a few hours ago, and Suzu was all over him. He kept sneezing too

Kenma: OH NO

Kenma: OH NO OH NO

Kageyama: It’s alright. I’m sure it’ll go away soon

Hinata: I think we should go to the doctor.

Kageyama: No, I’m sure it’ll be fine

Hinata: Tobio.

Hinata: You have a fever

Sugawara: Kageyama I think you should go

Kenma: Yeah, especially if it’s that bad

Kageyama: Omg

Kageyama: Okay fine

Kageyama: It’s literally 2am. 

Hinata: Literally so what?

Daichi: Kageyama, go.

Kageyama: It’s not a big deal.

Hinata: Tobio.

Kageyama: FINE

 

--

 

Hinata: Kageyama is allergic to suzu :-(

Hinata: AND he’s also allergic to rabbits and even MORE allergic to horses

Kageyama: :-///

Kageyama: I got medicine for the rashes since they still haven’t gone down

Kageyama: Anyways, it’s 5am. Shouyou and I are going to sleep. Sorry if these notifications wake anyone up!

Bokuto: Don’t apologize Kageyama!! I hope you feel better soon!!!!!!!!

Kageyama: Thanks Bokuto :-)

Bokuto: Omg he smiled at me

Bokuto: Wait I have a question before you two go

Bokuto: It’s so important 

Bokuto: And urgent. When you two sleep together how do you cuddle??

Bokuto: Little spoon?? Big spoon??

Hinata: Tobio has been the little spoon a lot recently 🥺

Bokuto: Oh wow I just died

Akaashi: That’s so cute wtf

Bokuto: Ok that’s all! Goodnight you two!

 

--

 

Kenma: I’m on my second iced coffee today!!

Daichi: wtf

Daichi: It’s only 3pm

Kenma: Yeah ✨🧚🏻‍♀️💫🦋

Kenma: my anxiety bout to go UP UP UP

Kuroo: Kenma no

Kenma: Kenma YES

Sugawara: Kenma YES

Daichi: No!! Drink something else you idiot

Kenma: slurp slurp mmm iced coffee

Kuroo: Kenma.

Kenma: Mm bean juice is iced mmmm slurp slurp

Akaashi: Kenmaaaa

Kenma: Akaashiiii

Akaashi: Come get high with me

Kenma: Omw omw omw 

Kuroo: Omfg

Oikawa: Guys!!!! Bad news!!!!!!!

Daichi: Oh No, what?

Sugawara: Why did you capitalize the n?

Daichi: Because I’m an idiot and it was an accident

Sugawara: I love dumb men 

Oikawa: OUR APARTMENT FLOODED

Oikawa: And me and Iwa-chan have to be SEPERATED

Oikawa: Because like we can’t stay there, they’re fixing it and stuff

Oikawa: And we’re both just going home to stay with our families 

Oikawa: FOR LIKE TWO WEEKS (´・_・`)

Kenma: NOOOOOO

Kageyama: Oh no :-(

Oikawa: I’m going to DIE

Iwaizumi: It’ll be fine, Tooru

Oikawa: I’m going to die :-(

Iwaizumi: I’ll call you everyday baby ❤️

Kuroo: I just had a stroke again ogm

Kuroo: IWAIZUMI SAID BABY

Oikawa: I hear him say it everyday 😙

Kuroo: Oh to be you

 

--

 

Oikawa and Iwaizumi:

Iwaizumi: attached image

Iwaizumi: Are you up? I can’t stop thinking about you.

Oikawa: attached image

Oikawa: Send me a video?

Oikawa: I want to hear you

Iwaizumi: Oh my god

Iwaizumi: Any requests? 

Oikawa: attached image

Oikawa: You know what I like, surprise me Hajime

 

--

 

NOT Tsukki, don’t send nudes

Sugawara: YOU GUYS

Sugawara: TANAKA’S PRIVATE SNAP STORY

Sugawara: CAN WE PLEASE TALK ABOUT IT

Tanaka: YES. PLEASE

Kenma: Wait what is it?

Kenma: I don’t feel like opening snapchat

Kenma: Kuro keeps kissing my face I’m too relaxed to be botherefd

Sugawara: IT’S A PIC OF KIYOKO LAUGHING WITH FROSTING ON HER NOSE

Tanaka: attached image

Tanaka: We made a cake together for the sixth year anniversary of me being in love with her 😳

Sugawara: AHAHA I LOVE YOU GUYS

Kenma: She is so cute wtf

Kenma: Omg she looks so happy

Kenma: EW YOU CAN SEE THE LOVE IN HER EYES

Kenma: I’m about to die

Daichi: I’M GOING TO CRY

Asahi: 🥺

Iwaizumi: attached video

Kuroo: Um wow 😳

Kuroo: Hahaha

Kuroo: I don’t think that was meant for us

Kuroo: But Iwaizumi… Man… 

Kuroo: Ur hot 😳

Sugawara: Oh wow 

Sugawara: OH WOW

Daichi: SUGA DON’T WATCH IT

Iwaizumi: FUCK OOPS

Iwaizumi: I’M SORRY

Iwaizumi: I’M SO EMBARRASSED 

Tanaka: No.. don’t be 😳

Oikawa: IWA-CHAN NO

Oikawa: GUYS DON’T WATCH IT

Oikawa: THAT’S MEANT FOR ME AND ME ONLY

Kuroo: It’s free real estate

Oikawa: NO

Iwaizumi: NO NO 

Iwaizumi: I NEED TO DIE

Hinata: Kageyama don’t look

Oikawa: OH GOD TOBIO DON’T LOOK

Kageyama: I WASN’T

Kageyama: Hinata YOU don’t look

Hinata: TOO LATE I DIDN’T READ THE CHAT

Kageyama: Whatever

Iwaizumi: Literally 

Iwaizumi: I want to die

Iwaizumi: Don’t talk to me

Iwaizumi: I’m so embarrassed 

Nishinoya: Iwaizumi FUCKS OMG

Nishinoya: Bruh 😳

Kuroo: My favorite song 🥰 is 😃 Iwaizumi Hajime 😏 moaning 🥵

Kenma: KURO STOP

Sugawara: My favorite song 🥰 is 😃 Iwaizumi Hajime 😏 moaning 🥵

Oikawa: NOO STOP

Atsumu: My favorite song 🥰 is 😃 Iwaizumi Hajime 😏 moaning 🥵

Hinata: ATSUMU OMG

Atsumu: I’m not trying to be funny, but I played that video ON FULL VOLUME ON ACCIDENT and Osamu goes “is that Hajime?”

Oikawa: WHY WOULD YOU TELL ME THAT

Oikawa: WHY ARE YOU EVEN STILL IN THIS CHAT

Atsumu: I’m like a roach infestation you can’t get rid of ❤️

Bokuto: My favorite song 🥰 is 😃 Iwaizumi Hajime 😏 moaning 🥵

Oikawa: NO

 

Oikawa removed Hinata Shouyou, Tanaka Ryu, Kozume Kenma, Kuroo Tetsurou, Sawamura Daichi, Azumane Asahi, Nishinoya Yuu, Bokuto Koutarou, Akaashi Keiji, Iwaizumi Hajime, Miya Atsumu, Sugawara Koushi, Kageyama Tobio, Tsukishima Kei, and Yamaguchi Tadashi from the chat

 

Oikawa created a new group

Oikawa added Hinata Shouyou, Tanaka Ryu, Kozume Kenma, Kuroo Tetsurou, Sawamura Daichi, Azumane Asahi, Nishinoya Yuu, Bokuto Koutarou, Akaashi Keiji, Iwaizumi Hajime, Miya Atsumu, Sugawara Koushi, Kageyama Tobio, Tsukishima Kei, and Yamaguchi Tadashi to the chat

Oikawa changed the group name to This is a cleanse 

Atsumu: Omg yay I’m still here

Oikawa: Roach 

Sugawara: You are so dramatic Oikawa 

 

--

 

Kuroo: I know it’s like 4am 

Kuroo: But how did two accidental things happen this week

Kuroo: Is it something in the air?

Kuroo: Why did this happen to us

Akaashi: I think it’s the brain rot

Kuroo: Seriously, it’s no joke dude






Chapter Text

This is a cleanse

Oikawa: I CANNOT I CANNOT

Iwaizumi: You’re overreacting

Oikawa: NO I AM NOT

Nishinoya: oooh tea 

Kageyama: What happened???

Oikawa: So me and Iwa-Chan are out, doing our thing. We stop at a coffee shop because I needed a pick me up 

Oikawa: The girl at the counter goes “I love your shirt”

Oikawa: And I got so excited that someone has also watched the anime that I have on my shirt

Oikawa: I say “oh my god thank you! That’s so period!!”

Oikawa: WHY DID I SAY THAT

Iwaizumi: You were excited lol it’s fine

Oikawa: I CANT SHOW MY FACE ANYWHERE LIKE I SHOULDNT BE ALLOWED OUTSIDE OF THE HOUSE

Iwaizumi: baby it was fine lol

Nishinoya: BABY IWA-CHAN CALL ME BABY

Asahi: no no noya I’ll call you baby

Nishinoya: ASAHI ASAHI CALL ME BABY

Asahi: Not here

Asahi: That’s embarrassing 

Nishinoya: On my way IM OMW 

Oikawa: don’t call him Iwa-Chan

Kageyama: That’s not too embarrassing 

Kageyama: She probably thought it was funny

Oikawa: I’m a little reassured but also why would I feel that way from a freak 

Kageyama: :-(

Bokuto: MY KAGEYAMA IS SAD SOMEONE HELP

Hinata: My Kageyama oops oops

Iwaizumi: Shut up Tooru you know you love Kageyama

Oikawa: Nope actually I don’t

Iwaizumi: Okay but say that to your lock screen

Oikawa: I don’t know what you mean (๑╹ω╹๑ )

Iwaizumi: Attached Image

Oikawa: I have never seen that picture I think it’s photoshopped

Kageyama: Aw I have that printed out

Kageyama: It’s on my desk right next to my Karasuno one

Kageyama: We should remake it. Like get Kindaichi and kunimi too

Oikawa: Iwa-Chan if you have a problem with me, just say it. It’d be so much easier for the both of us

Iwaizumi: I just don’t know why you act like you hate him

Oikawa: Because he’s ew

Kageyama: :-((

Bokuto: TWO FROWNS NO NO KAGEYAMA I LOVE YOU

Kageyama: :-(

Hinata: KAGEYAMA I LOVE YOU MORE

Kageyama: :-

Oikawa: FINE OMG ITS MY LOCKSCREEN BECAUSE SOMETIMES I MISS YOUR STUPID FACE

Kageyama: :-)

Oikawa: ew 

Iwaizumi: Being honest isn’t hard idiot

Tsukishima: wow

Tsukishima: That's weird

Yamaguchi: Tsukki yours is our picture with Kageyama and Hinata when we graduated high school

Tsukishima: Tadashi stop

Yamaguchi It was so cute. You set it as your lockscreen and never changed it lol

Tsukishima: Tadashi

Tsukishima: seriously

Yamaguchi: oops my bad teehee

Yamaguchi: Guess you have to 

Yamaguchi: ✨punish me🥴☺️☺️ oops oops

Sugawara: YAMAGUCHI AHAHA

Kuroo: Maybe he’ll send more risqué pics to the group and then we’ll just get a throng of them from everyone

Kuroo: Daichi you start!!

Sugawara: Kuroo I will not hesitate to

Sugawara:  🙃 murder you🙃

Sugawara: 😘

Kuroo: Kenma you start!!

Kenma: No

Kageyama: sorry guys my lock screen isn’t a group pic

Kageyama: Attached Image

Kageyama: It’s still cute though

Hinata: I have died I have died

Hinata: No one is invited to my funeral

Kageyama: Stop being dumb

Hinata: YOURE THE ONE THAT EXPOSED YOUR LOCKSCREEN TO THE GROUP

Kageyama: I THINK ITS CUTE DUMBASS SO WHAT

Asahi: Omg omg

Asahi: THATS THE CUTEST PICTURE EVER

Daichi: it’s so cute

Oikawa: Just Hinata AND Natsu

Oikawa: SLEEPING AND WEARING KAGEYAMAS SHIRTS EW EW

Kenma: OMG SOMEONE COME AND PUNCH ME IN THE EYE THATS SO CUTE

Kuroo: KENMA WHAT

Kenma: Omg ohmyg oHMYGODDD THATS CUTE KAGEYAMA YOURE A PRECIOUS GIFT TO THIS GROUP CHAT AND YOU NEED TO EXPOSE MORE OF YOU AND SHOUYOUS RELATIONSHIP

Hinata: HE DOES NOT

Tanaka: Coming from the Toaster Strudel

Hinata: IT WAS ONCE

Kenma: Actually I remember it being twice but that’s fine

Hinata: IT WAS ONLY TWO TIMES

Kageyama: IDIOT JUST SHUT UP

Hinata: KENMA WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO ME

Kenma: It’s natural selection in a way ☺️

Akaashi: We love to see it 

Hinata: Why is this suddenly about me when It should be about Oikawa

Kenma: Because Oikawa is so period 

Sugawara: He’s period as fuck

Oikawa: I’ll kiss both of you

Iwaizumi: you will not

Sugawara: Don't threaten me with a good time baby boy

Oikawa: I really don’t know why that was my reaction

Oikawa: But it has already been said

Kenma: Empty threats Oikawa wow

Oikawa: I hate both of you

 

-

 

Kageyama: I am weak

Kageyama: I’m the weakest person on the planet

Daichi: oh?

Kageyama: I literally will do anything Hinata asks

Kageyama: literally anything

Hinata: 🥺🥺 Kageyama

Daichi: That's because you’re in love

Oikawa: THATS BECAUSE YOURE WHIPPED

Daichi: no

Sugawara: it’s because you’re in love and oikawa is an idiot

Oikawa: Iwa-Chan will do anything for me

Iwaizumi: Yeah because you whine about it if I don’t

Oikawa: I-

Oikawa: Are we really breaking up in front of everyone?

Iwaizumi: Shut up stupid we’re never breaking up

Kageyama: Everything reminds me of Hinata and like

Kageyama: I just saw him yesterday but I wanna see him again today

Kenma: Omg you’re just so in love

Kageyama: Hinata will you come over after class?

Hinata: YES YES YES

Kageyama: Also

Kageyama: I bought you something today.

Hinata: stop stop I’m so excited

 

-

 

Hinata: UM UM KAGEYAMA IS THE CUTEST BOYFRIEND EVER THERE IS NO COMPETITION

Hinata: HE BOUGHT ME THIS CUTE FROG PLUSHY AND IT LOOKS SO GRUMPY IT LOOKS LIKE HIM AND ITS SO CUTE

Hinata: Attached Image

Hinata: HES JUST HUGGING IT BECAUSE I TOLD HIM I WISH IT SMELLED LIKE HIM

Kenma: Thats so 

Kenma: so 

Kenma: cute

Kenma: I’m TRYING TO CONTAIN MYSELF BUT I CANT THATS SO CUTE THATS SO CUTE

Kenma: LITERALLY IM MOVING FAR AWAY FROM YOU BITCHES NEVER EVEN THINK OF ME AGAIN

Kenma: HES jUST CUDDLING A FROG THAT LOOKS LIKE HIM EW EW EW SHOUYOU YOU BETTER HOPE I NEVER SEE YOUR FACE AGAIN STUPID

Oikawa: You need to chill out

Kenma: NO YOU NEED TO CHILL OUT 

Kenma: DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO WHEN KAGEYAMA AND HINATA ARE JUST BOYFRIENDS

Hinata: KENMA LMAOOO STOP

Kenma: okay I’ve calmed down

Hinata: Anyways. I’m gonna go take a nap

Hinata: Bye

Kenma: omg THEYRE PROBABLY GONNA CUDDLE WITH THE FROG EVERYONE SHUT UP SHUT UP

Akaashi: Kenma you’re on a whole other level this afternoon 

Kenma: Send PICTURES HINATA AND KAGEYAMA

Kageyama: We’re taking a nap sorry😴

Hinata: Sorry can’t respond we’re taking a nap😴 

Kenma: I hope you pee the bed during your nap Shouyou 🥰

Oikawa: KENMA PLEASE HAHH



Chapter Text

Yamaguchi and Tsukishima :

Yamaguchi: Tsukki tsukki tsukkiiii

Tsukishima: lol Tadashi Tadashi Tadashiiii

Yamaguchi: I miss you

Tsukishima: You’re right next to me stupid

Yamaguchi: I want you to hug meeee

Tsukishima: Why didn’t you just ask

Yamaguchi: I would never say something that embarrassing with your brother right here ew

Tsukishima: Akiteru will probably take secret pictures and send them to my mom then she’ll print them out lol

Yamaguchi: He sends them to me too

Tsukishima: Why are you like that

Yamaguchi: Because I love you 

Yamaguchi: TSUKKI YOU’RE BLUSHING

Tsukishima: I’m not you’re just crazy

Yamaguchi: Tsukki tsukki tsukkiiiii

Tsukishima: Shut up

 

This is a cleanse

 

Akaashi: Suga, I need your advice!

Sugawara: Yes

Akaashi: yes or no

Sugawara: Ummm

Sugawara: What do you mean?

Akaashi: Just yes or no

Sugawara: No

Sugawara: ???

Akaashi: Oh thank god oh thank GOD

Akaashi: Konoha is getting a tattoo so I went with him

Akaashi: And he said to ask someone random yes or no and if they said yes I have to get the first thing I thought of tattooed

Akaashi: And my mind was only letting me think of Bokuto’s ass so you saved me

Kuroo: BOKUTO’S ASS

Kuroo: BOKUTO I’LL GET YOURS AND YOU GET MINE

Kenma: I wouldn’t marry a man with Bokuto’s ass tattooed on him

Bokuto: KENMA WHY

Kenma: Because I don’t WANT TO BE ANYWHERE NEAR IT

Bokuto: Kenma 😢

Sugawara: Lol 

Oikawa: Suga, do you like tattoos?

Sugawara: I do 

Oikawa: Lets get matching ones omgomg

Oikawa: I’ll get Hajime and you can get Daichi

Sugawara: omg imagine

 

-

 

Tsukishima: I thought you guys would like to see this

Tsukishima: Attached Image

Kenma: Hinata and yamaguchi CUDDLING

Kenma: SOMEONE PERFORM CPR ON ME

Tsukishima: They’re cute

Bokuto: TSUKKI IS SHOWING EMOTIONS

Bokuto: POSITIVE EMOTIONS

Oikawa: SUGA SUGA ARE YOU SEEING THIS

Oikawa: DAICHI OMG DAICHI

Sugawara: lol sorry i was finishing an assignment but now I’m screaming

Sugawara: Daichi’s at work

Sugawara: You guys are so cute

 

-

 

Kenma: Kuroo cropped one of my old hoodies for me

Kenma: Attached Image

Kuroo: You’re the cutest YOU’RE THE CUTEST

Kuroo: MY SWEET KENMA

Oikawa: YES KENMA YOU LOOK SO CUTE FUCK IT UP

Akaashi: Kenma’s so cute kenma’s so cute

Akaashi: Suga Suga Suga

Akaashi: Kenma needs you to boost his confidence

Kenma: We need Suga’s input we CRAVE Suga’s input

Kageyama: You look cute Kenma :-)

Kageyama: Oh and Suga is here. He’s taking a nap

Oikawa: Suga is with you?

Kageyama: Yup.

Oikawa: Interesting lol

 

-

 

Oikawa and Sugawara

Oikawa: Hey are you okay?

Sugawara: ?

Oikawa: Idk you seem so different

Oikawa: Like you’re super dry in the groupchat

Oikawa: Usually you’d take any opportunity to talk about Daichi

Oikawa: Or to praise Tsukishima and Tobio but you haven't done any of that

Oikawa: And also we haven’t heard from Daichi in a while

Sugawara: I’m alright?

Sugawara: Just fucking kidding haha got you

Oikawa: Oh my

Sugawara: Okay so basically my boyfriend is too nice for his own good and I’m pissed off

Oikawa: Oh no

Sugawara: I know!

Sugawara: He’s still hanging out with Yui

Sugawara: And like, I already expressed how I feel about them hanging out

Sugawara: And he told me that he would stop hanging around her so much

Sugawara: I totally get that they’ve been friends for so long and their families are close and all of that. That’s why I’m not asking him to cut her off completely

Sugawara: It just sucks so much that he’ll invite me over and then text her so much while we’re spending time together. Or that I’ll be at his place and sometimes she’ll just come in. Like, whyyy

Sugawara: And I feel bad because I know that he doesn’t like her like that but I hate watching them together. You’ve seen it Tooru, she’s so obviously in love with him. And I trust Daichi with all of my heart but I can only be so patient you know and he hasn’t even talked to her about us because he’s scared she’ll be embarrassed and sad

Sugawara: It’s just so frustrating that he’s prioritizing her feelings over mine. It makes me so sad

Sugawara: I’ve been spending the night at Kageyama’s because I just need some serotonin

Oikawa: Did you guys break up?!!

Sugawara: No but I was just yelling at him and I told him to talk to me when he figures out his shit and omg Tooru you should’ve seen his face

Sugawara: He looked so so sad and I wanted to just hug him and say I’m sorry but if I do that then nothing will ever get done so I just went to Kageyama’s 

Oikawa: Have you talked to Daichi at all?

Sugawara: No.

Sugawara: Kageyama is holding my phone usually to ensure that I don’t text him first.

Sugawara: Daichi texted stuff like “Hey” and “How are you?” but Kageyama refuses to let me reply to those.

Oikawa: Okay good 

Oikawa: That’s really good.

Oikawa: I’d be so upset if I were you

Oikawa: He really is too nice and maybe a little dense. Like it’s so obvious she likes him lol

Oikawa: I’m sure Daichi is probably stressed right now too

Sugawara: oh god don’t say that

Sugawara: I miss my Daichi so much

Oikawa: I didn’t mean to make you sad. Oh god

Oikawa: I was gonna say that maybe Iwa-chan can talk to him?

Oikawa: They can have like idk guy time and he can figure his shit out

Sugawara: Okay that sounds good

Sugawara: God I miss him but I’m so upset with him 

Sugawara: I feel so UGLY

Oikawa: Literally shut up and go hug Kageyama or something

Oikawa: Hinata says he’s great at cuddling

Sugawara: He is and I want to die

Sugawara: I love my son so much :’-)

Oikawa: Yuck

Oikawa: I’m glad you’re okay. I just wanted to check on you.

Oikawa: Use my bottom charm to make you feel a little better

Sugawara: lmaoooo I hate you

Oikawa: You can talk to me about anything. I hope you know that. And if Tobio bores you or annoys you, I’ll be more than happy to have you over here!

Sugawara: Awww Tooru thanks 💗

Oikawa: 💗

 

-

 

This is a cleanse

Sugawara: GOOD MORNING TO ALL OF THE BADDIES HERE

Kenma: early

Kuroo: Literally it’s 5am Suga. No one is up

Sugawara: It’s baddies hour

Sugawara: Only the baddest of baddies are up rn

Oikawa: Go to bed idiot

Sugawara: You just wish you were on my level. I’m the baddie of all baddies

Sugawara: Is no one gonna reply?

Sugawara: So everyone hates me?

Sugawara: Fine I’m going to bed

 

-

 

Kuroo and Sugawara

Kuroo: What’s up with you?

Sugawara: What?

Kuroo: You’re acting all weird and quiet and then all of a sudden you’re overcompensating

Kuroo: Is everything alright?

Sugawara: It’s kind of a long story

Sugawara: In short, me and Daichi are kinda going through it right now. And like

Sugawara: I don’t want to bring the group down but I didn’t think anyone would notice

Kuroo: NO NOT THE POWER COUPLE SUGA SUGA SUGA NO

Kuroo: OH GOD HOW IS THIS HAPPENING

Sugawara: it’ll be fine I think

Sugawara: Just a little rough patch haha

Kuroo: Are you okay?

Sugawara: Yeah yeah yeah I’m just sorta, waiting things out? Organizing my thoughts? Hugging Kageyama all day

Kuroo: I’d kill to hug that man

Sugawara: You’re stupid

Sugawara: I’m going to bed idiot

Kuroo: Just so you know

Kuroo: I’m gonna check on you again later

Kuroo: At a normal hour

Sugawara: goodnight Kuroo 💕

Kuroo: ❤️

 

-

 

Iwaizumi and Daichi

Iwaizumi: I don’t know how to put this nicely

Iwaizumi: But why are you being so dumb

Iwaizumi: We all told you to just tell Michimiya that there’s no chance but you still haven’t

Daichi: I know I know

Daichi: I tried but I get so nervous

Iwaizumi: I don’t understand why though

Iwaizumi: Are suga’s feelings not enough of a reason for you to tell her?? Do you like her or something

Daichi: No no 

Daichi: Okay i just

Daichi: She has never told me she likes me. What if I randomly just go “Sorry Yui, I’m in love with Suga so you don’t have a chance” and she doesn’t even like me

Daichi: And if she does like me

Daichi: What if she cries and it’s awkward for our families

Daichi: i don’t know I’m so conflicted

Iwaizumi: If Suga AND Oikawa tell you she likes you, she probably likes you

Iwaizumi: Daichi the first time she was brought up in this chat everyone knew who you guys were talking about. She likes you.

Iwaizumi: And you don’t have to say it to her like that

Iwaizumi: You can just simply tell her that you’re dating Suga and that you like guys 

Iwaizumi: And as your friend, she should understand that

Daichi: Okay I’ll text her right now and see when she’s free

Iwaizumi: If she isn’t free then just do it over the phone

Daichi: Maybe I’ll just call her! That sounds less awkward

Iwaizumi: Just get it done already omg why are you like this

Iwaizumi: Let me know how it goes

 

-

 

Daichi and Sugawara 

Daichi: I talked to Yui

Daichi: I called her and told her that I don’t really like girls. She kinda just kept quiet so then I told her that I have a boyfriend and she asked who and then I told her that we’ve been dating since like, the end of high school

Daichi: She cried and it was so awkward

Daichi: But she said she was really happy for us 

Daichi: I’m sorry it took me so long Koushi 

Daichi: I miss you so much

Sugawara: Finally

Sugawara: I literally thought you were never going to tell her

Sugawara: I really shouldn’t be thanking you for doing something so simple

Sugawara: But thank you for telling her

Sugawara: I know you were probably so nervous and uncomfortable lol

Daichi: I really was lol

Sugawara: So what did we learn from this?

Daichi: That I’m dumb and emotions are scary to handle?

Sugawara: And?

Daichi: And that I should think about my boyfriend before I think about anyone else

Sugawara: And?

Daichi: And that I can’t live without you

Sugawara: I was thinking more along the lines of “you’re better than anyone else in the world and if anyone even tries to act on their emotions towards me they better think twice”

Daichi: That too 

Daichi: I missed you so much Suga omg

Daichi: I went to your place a few times but you were never there

Sugawara: Not saying I ditched all of my classes to be with our son

Sugawara: But I ditched all of my classes to be with our son

 

-

 

Sugawara changed the group name to Daichi 😍

Oikawa: Oh

Kageyama: Oh

Iwaizumi: Oh

Kuroo: Oh

Hinata: Wut

Hinata: Wut is happening

Sugawara: Daichi has been holding my hand all day

Sugawara: He’s so cute

Daichi: You’re so cute Suga

Sugawara: Attached image

Sugawara: My Daichi is the cutest

Kuroo: Disgusting

Kuroo: I’m so happy rn

Oikawa: Me too

Hinata: wut

Iwaizumi: Me too

Hinata: Wut

Kageyama: Me too

Hinata: None of this means anything to me

Kageyama: Good

Hinata: WUT KAGEYAMA TELL ME

Kageyama: You’re stupid

Hinata: NOTHING MAKES SENSE















Chapter Text

Daichi 😍

Kageyama: Does anyone want to have lunch with me in like an hour?

Kageyama: I’m gonna make some food but I forgot Hinata was busy today and I don’t want to eat alone. And I know Daichi and Suga have class

Yamaguchi: Me and Tsukki just got lunch. Sorry 😞

Kageyama: It’s fine 🧡

Yamaguchi: ❤️

Kenma: Woah the orange heart

Kageyama: It reminds me of Shouyou lol

Kageyama: I love it

Kenma: STOP KAGEYAMA THATS CUTE

Kenma: SCREENSHOT SCREENSHOT SCREENSHOT

Sugawara: DAICHI LOOK HE’S BEING SO CUTE

Daichi: I knowwww I’m gonna die

Kuroo: I want to have lunch with Kageyama😩 why must I live so far

Iwaizumi: I can come over

Kageyama: Okay!! :-)

Oikawa: EXCUSE ME

Oikawa: IM BEING LEFT OUT??

Kageyama: you can come too!

Oikawa: No

Sugawara: Then why did you even bring it up

Oikawa: Because I wanted to reject his invite 

Oikawa: I needed to feel powerful

Iwaizumi: why don’t you just come with me?

Oikawa: I’m actually busy at that time lol

Kageyama: I’ll pack food for Iwaizumi to bring for you

Sugawara: DAICHI DAICHI LOOK PLEASE LOOK HES BEING TOO CUTE I'M LEVITATING

Daichi: Suga omg

 

-

 

Bokuto: Hey Akaashi

Bokuto: Akaashiiiii

Bokuto: Heyyy Akaaaashiiiiiii

Bokuto: Akaashi Akaashi Akaashi

Bokuto: AKAASHIIIII

Kenma: Bokuto he obviously isn’t responding. You’ve messaged him in EVERY group chat

Kuroo: Be gentle with him Kenma

Kuroo: Bro, he obviously isn’t responding. You messaged him in every group chat

Bokuto: Whyyy

Bokuto: He hasn’t answered any of my calls for a while

Bokuto: I’m having such a bad day

Bokuto: And it’s so cold 

Bokuto: I just want to hear his voice or something 

Bokuto: What if he wants to break up with me?

Kenma: he would never

Bokuto: What if he’s running away so he can get married to someone while I’m waiting and rotting away in my room

Kenma: He would never

Bokuto: Akaashiiii please I love you so much don’t do that

Kageyama: What's wrong Bokuto?

Bokuto: I don’t really know? I’m just not having a good day. I woke up sad and I haven’t seen Akaashi all day

Ka