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let me lay against your side

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Teetering in the limbo between consciousness and darkness, the cold winds and rain hitting his face and skin in torrents, Atsushi never heard the scream of ‘Man-Tiger’ over the roar of Moby Dick and the sky. He didn't wake from the darkness at the sound of a hoarse shout. He didn’t remember it at all.


But he felt the wrap of something around his stomach, beneath his clawed feet, sparking through his clothes into skin-- he felt a pulse, warm and alive.


Out of the cold darkness he emerged, and along the waves of Rashomon he rushed back towards Moby Dick, the dark tendrils wrapping around his body. Long after the battle was over, Atsushi, alone in his apartment as Kyouka slept on the other side of the room peacefully, he ran his fingers over his right knee, a heavy frown on his lips. He traced over where Rashomon had cut it, hacking the lower half of his leg off.


He could still remember the white hot flash of pain, the cold numbness at the first blow, and how it seared through his entire body like he’d been doused in fire. Atsushi could still remember every time that Rashomon had pierced through his body and because of the pain, he’d never felt its warmth.


Far below the earth, Rashomon wrapped around him entirely as rocks flew towards him, trying to crush him utterly and it was as if he’d been encased in dark warmth. The darkness Atsushi always knew was cold, damp, chains around his neck and feet, a makeshift bed out of a ruddy blanket.


Within the fabric, Atsushi felt a pulse.


The heat and tension of battle continued, the direness of the situation did not leave Atsushi whatsoever, he knew he couldn't relax, not for a single moment, not while the virus still clung to both himself and Akutagawa, for if one of them were to die, so would the other--


And yet, as he felt and heard the roar of the beast that Akutagawa had given to him to borrow, if you lose, I will not forgive you, Man-Tiger, it sank into his skin as a comforting heartbeat would.


Does Akutagawa feel this every time he activates his ability?


A thought that’d wandered before Atsushi pushed it all aside as Rashomon emerged from his arm in an angry, furious screech, extending like the fingers of branches on dead trees, raging towards Goncharov.


Atsushi had once only associated Rashomon with pain. Its warmth, its heartbeat, lingered long after the battle against that demon that even made Dazai fearful, and even longer he stopped seeing Akutagawa as the mafioso that only cared about making himself stronger, proving his worth by spilling the blood of others for his own selfish desires.


The memory of how it was alive, just as Ryuunosuke’s heart would beat just as his own did, still clung to Atsushi long after he took Ryuunosuke into his life, bed and heart as his lover.


Atsushi wondered when, in between Rashomon wrapping around him in armor and suddenly striding forward to cup Ryuunosuke’s face, startling the man to wide-eyed frozen stiffness as he pulled him down into a firm kiss, black tendrils emerging out of his coat sleeves to wrap around his wrist, without Ryuunosuke even knowing--- he stopped being so afraid of the beast that was just another part of Ryuunosuke, and when it became a chain of comfort and security.



Despite the healthy amount of wealth Ryuunosuke had acquired during his time as a mafioso (quite the change up from his initial origins, as he gradually told Atsushi of over time), Ryuunosuke was sparse in his choice of household items that littered his apartment. His furniture was minimal but sleek, as he only bought what was necessary and nothing about his home was too extravagant; the only sign of someone living there were the shelves upon shelves stuffed with books and tins of loose leaf tea. Atsushi enjoyed taking the time to explore what kind of books Ryuunosuke enjoyed reading, and it was easy to occupy himself , especially when Ryuunosuke was gone on an assignment. It kept his mind distracted and from falling into too many worried traps.


Ryuunosuke’s scent all over the apartment soothed Atsushi and made his wait for Ryuunosuke to come home a little more bearable. To have his own scent mingle with his boyfriend’s made him smile.


In the time he’d come to half move into Ryuunosuke’s apartment (something Kyouka had quietly come to accept as she saw the formerly demonic man slowly change over time), he’d also learned that Ryuunosuke had something of a sparse wardrobe; monochromatic and full of dark, earthy colors. Atsushi often teased Ryuunosuke that he should consider expanding his color palette, earning a dour stare and a scoff.


Atsushi didn’t mind though; the dark colors suited Ryuunosuke’s pale skin. When they first met as enemies, he’d been like a phantom specter, demonic and altogether dark that left Atsushi unsettled and afraid, and then hateful.


Learning to see that that darkness was not inherently evil had taken a long time to undo. Disassociating even the coat that Rashomon so often lived in from the weapon that’d been used to kill to something that was, to Ryuunosuke, an extension of himself, had taken even longer.


Atsushi was quick to learn that Rashomon could manifest from anything that Ryuunosuke wore, from a scarf, to the hem of a low-cut shirt and the belt line of his trousers when Ryuunosuke was too lethargic to reach for his tea cup himself. Rashomon moved and came alive even without Ryuunosuke’s direct command, without Ryuunosuke ever being aware.


Just the night before, Atsushi had to get up in the middle of the night to use the restroom, and in his sleep-induced haze he pulled out of Ryuunosuke’s stubborn, firm hold. He jumped when he felt something warm and humming wrap around his wrist, stopping him in his tracks.


Blinking, now more coherent and awake, he’d looked down and saw the gray tendril that followed all the way to the hem of Ryuunosuke’s sleeve. His pale face contorted with displeasure as he slept and the tendril pulsed with heat, trying to tug Atsushi back to bed.


Atsushi couldn’t fight a smile as he stroked the warm tendril and watched as Ryuunosuke’s expression relaxed and the tight lines of his face disappeared. Once Rashomon released his wrist, Atsushi used the bathroom and came back to bed immediately after. In addition to Ryuunosuke’s arms returning to their hold around his shoulders and waist, he felt warm tendrils coil around his fingers, Atsushi’s hands tucked against Ryuunosuke’s lithe chest.


Atsushi wondered at first if Ryuunosuke noticed Rashomon moving on its own, if he’d been doing it all on purpose; the little wraps around his ankles and wrists when they slept, when they were walking out in public together (Ryuunosuke taking care to dress himself in a more low-key fashion as to not be recognized), and even when they fought together. They never really talked about it before. In time, Atsushi realized that he didn’t— especially early in the beginning of their formerly tumultuous partnership.


Their simple early missions blended together, but Atsushi was always able to recall each moment Rashomon reached out, dark, angry and crackling with red, to wrap around his leg or his middle to drag him back from an explosion or a fall. Atsushi had sucked in a breath and flinched at its touch, waiting for sharp ends to sink into his body despite this partnership and it took a belated beat to realize the look on Ryuunosuke’s face had been anything but malicious and hostile.


Atsushi had been stunned silent as he took in the wide gray eyes that looked over him with anger— not anger directed at him, something else etched with another emotion (emotions Atsushi was learning to see more and more of over time), and realized what it was: worry.


Ryuunosuke stiffened when he noticed Atsushi staring at him, and with a harsh click of his tongue, Rashomon quickly slid off of Atsushi as its master called him an idiot for throwing himself into danger and nearly getting himself killed, again. He’d still hadn’t been allowed to die yet, not unless it was by Ryuunosuke’s hand.


It was that moment, that small, little moment that anyone else would’ve brushed off, that stuck with Atsushi. That moment was just enough to force his opinion of Akutagawa Ryuunosuke to change— and it was enough for Atsushi to become eager to feel Rashomon’s warmth around him.


Atsushi smiled around the rim of his tea cup as his chest swelled with nostalgia, only to then throw his head back against the arm of the couch with a groan, only a little ashamed of himself for how impatient he was for Ryuunosuke to come home. The open book laid against his chest, forgotten for the time being.


Staring up at the ceiling, Atsushi shifted his legs and scowled at the ceiling. Worry lived in the back of his mind, for Atsushi was confident that his current assignment would be done with soon enough. But the more that Atsushi fingered the end of the dark shirt he wore, belonging to Ryuunosuke, the more he wanted his boyfriend to come home. It was absurd, really, how much he’d come to enjoy and anticipate the man’s touch.


His stomach clenched pleasantly as he recalled their last tryst, his thighs rubbing together, remembering the marks that’d been left there just a few nights before.


Fighting a silly grin, Atsushi put away the book and played with the dark fabric. His expression slowly became contemplative, the flush steadily growing as he wondered—


What would it feel like, to truly feel Rashomon around him? Against his body? On his skin?


He’d felt it; as a coat coming to life as a weapon, their respective abilities coming together, the little affectionate grasps on his wrist and fingers, even when it was protective, as per its master’s wishes, but—


Atsushi imagined the black tendrils slowly moving along his legs, starting from his ankles and crawling their way up his calves. They’d stay locked around his ankles and knees, keeping him from closing his legs as Ryuunosuke crawled between them with that heavy-lidded stare that always made Atsushi’s stomach clench and tighten with the heat of anticipation. Or maybe he’d just stand or kneel there, on the bed, not touching him but watching as Rashomon slid across Atsushi’s skin, moving from his knees to wrapping around his thighs, taut and firm.


He thought of how Ryuunosuke’s stare would burn against his bare skin as Rashomon spread his legs out further, open and inviting for its master, how exposed and vulnerable he would be, and Atsushi bit down on his bottom lip as his pants began to constrict uncomfortably.


Realizing just what he was imagining as Atsushi’s hand began to slide down the front of his body, palming between his legs as his teeth closed around the collar of the shirt he wore, Atsushi nearly fell off of the couch in a grand heap and with a loud yelp.


It was difficult to look Ryuunosuke in the face when he came home not an hour later, narrowing his eyes at Atsushi when he wouldn’t meet his stare quite head on enough. Atsushi laughed off his quiet concerns with warm smiles, a kiss to the cheek, and peered over a disgruntled Ryuunosuke’s shoulder as he cooked dinner for the both of them. Chazuke, of course. They both just wanted something simple tonight.


When Ryuunosuke casually used Rashomon to reach for the green tea on a higher shelf without even looking, Atsushi’s breath hitched and a sudden flood of obscene images and fantasies began to return to him. As a result, he got so distracted some of the boiling water spilled on his fingers in his attempt to help.


“Watch it, will you?” Ryuunosuke grumbled, taking Atsushi’s hand to pat it down with a cold kitchen rag.


Atsushi swallowed and lowered his eyes, muttering an apology and hoping that his boyfriend wouldn’t think too deeply about why exactly his ears were so red or why his face was warm and flushed.


Throughout the night and after a dinner that left his stomach warm and sated, Atsushi couldn’t help but take notice whenever Rashomon manifested from Ryuunosuke’s clothing. In order to keep his mind from wandering inappropriately, Atsushi bit his inner cheek and pressed his legs together and went along with the evening as if he wasn’t constantly thinking about his boyfriend using his ability to keep his legs and arms bound as they had sex, if not more.


Atsushi could’ve screamed into his pillow as they prepared for bed, mortified.


How the hell did he become such a person?


It wasn’t as if they hadn’t had sex, they had (and quite often; what a happy coincidence it was that Ryuunosuke wound up becoming just as starved for such intimate touch as Atsushi had). The sexual aspect of their relationship was far from lacking.


But, well.. now that the thought was in his mind, Atsushi couldn’t let go of it.


As they laid together in bed, Atsushi’s hips pleasantly numbed and bruised from Ryuunosuke’s fingers, and Ryuunosuke’s back littered with red scratch marks, Atsushi nuzzled his head underneath Ryuunosuke’s chin and could not help but wonder.


You said once, that Rashomon was a part of you, an extension of yourself, didn’t you? Atsushi thought sleepily, eyelids heavy and slowly closing.


Then.. I want every single part of you.



“You.. want me to what?


Atsushi had never wanted to melt into the floor quite as much as he did now.


In fact, death seemed rather attractive.


Swallowing hard, Atsushi worked up his courage and exhaled, taking a step closer to his wide eyed and bewildered boyfriend. “I want…” he began slowly, faltering before finally meeting Ryuunosuke’s eyes, “I want you to use Rashomon more, the next time we— we have sex.”


Atsushi would deny his voice ever cracking with mortification, embarrassment and fear of his boyfriend’s reaction all the way to his grave, though he couldn’t deny how his cheeks burned horribly.


Ryuunosuke stared at him, eyes wide and lips parted in a comical expression of shock that, in any other situation, would’ve made Atsushi laugh. The only other time he’d ever seen such an expression on Ryuunosuke’s face was when Atsushi kissed him for the first time. He’d laughed then, gently holding Ryuunosuke’s face in his hands before Ryuunosuke dove in once more, kissing him back with more feeling than he’d once thought possible of the darkly clad man.


Biting his lip nearly hard enough to break skin, Atsushi wasn’t sure if the expression on Ryuunosuke’s face would mean anything good this time. Fear started to well in his belly and his breathing shorted as his chest tightened, his throat threatening to close as he began to fear that this was a bad idea, that maybe— maybe Ryuunosuke would think he was disgusting for wanting to do such a thing, that his face would twist in anger and he would leave, not having anything to do with Atsushi again.


It was one of his greatest fears; that it wasn’t worth it, being with Atsushi, and Ryuunosuke would leave him. Alone.


This was a horrible idea.


He’s going to hate me.


His eyes starting to burn with embarrassment and shame, Atsushi clenched his hands into fists and hardened his jaw, ready to part his lips to tell Ryuunosuke to forget he’d ever asked, that he was simply joking, that it meant nothing—




It was so quiet, so..


So confused and vulnerable, that it had Atsushi stilling.


He looked up, eyes wide and found Ryuunosuke’s thin brows furrowed, cheeks lightly coated with a red flush, and pure, unknowing confusion on his handsome face.


“I— I have— never considered using Rashomon for such a purpose before,” Ryuunosuke said softly.


Well, good, I’d hope that you haven’t done.. that with anyone else before, Atsushi thought. At least he’s not angry at me.. I hope..


Ryuunosuke pursed his lips and stared down at his lap and clenched hands on his knees, almost troubled, and Atsushi quietly scooted closer to his boyfriend on the couch, their cups of tea half-drunk and forgotten on the coffee table.


“I’ve only used it for battle,” Ryuunosuke intoned. “I cannot see how you could find it.. pleasurable, in that sense.”


Atsushi bit his inner cheek, the tension in his chest slowly easing. “..I don’t think that’s true, Ryuunosuke.”


Ryuunosuke glanced at him sharply, and anger and some other emotion flashed on his face. “You would know better than anyone that it is. You know what I use Rashomon for, what I have always used it for. It is a tool for killing and destruction. That is all I have ever used it for— I even used it against you.”


Ryuunosuke’s face twisted as his eyes lingered on Atsushi’s chest, jaw tightening, and he looked away with a hissed tch.


Oh, Atsushi realized with a dawning, that’s what this is about…


Body sagging, Atsushi sighed and leaned in closer.


Ryuunosuke jolted when Atsushi closed his fingers around Ryuunosuke’s, lacing their fingers together and gripping gently. He brought Ryuunosuke’s hand into his lap and ran his fingertips over his knuckles; scarred, the skin tough from years of fighting and a hard life on the streets.


Shame still lingered with Atsushi as he remembered; not that long ago he’d just thought of Ryuunosuke as a heartless killer, as everyone else did. He’d learned to see that it wasn’t true, learned to see the softer edges Ryuunosuke wouldn’t let anyone else see, that he didn’t even realize he had anymore, but..


“Ryuunosuke,” Atsushi said firmly.


Though he didn’t look at him, Ryuunosuke stilled; a sign he was listening.


“..Yes, you’ve used it to hurt others,” Atsushi said, frowning when Ryuunosuke’s shoulders twitched. “You’ve used it to kill, and you’ve hurt me with Rashomon. But—“


He pursed his lips and squeezed Ryuunosuke’s hand.


“..You’ve saved me with it, too. You’ve protected me with Rashomon. And you let me wear Rashomon as we fought together— a sign that you were starting to trust me. In my abilities, in our partnership, in me.”


Atsushi laced their fingers together, relishing in how thin and slender Ryuunosuke’s were, so cool to the touch; and how gentle they’d learned to be.


“And… Rashomon is a part of you, isn’t it?” Atsushi continued, biting his lower lip.


Ryuunosuke’s hand jolted, his grip tightening for a brief second. Silent, the other man nodded and Atsushi felt his sharp gaze finally move towards him.


Atsushi tried for a small, but gentle smile.


“Then… I want to know every single part of you,” he said. “Everything, even.. even the parts that used to frighten me. That’s— That’s why I want you to use Rashomon more, when we have sex.”


He felt Ryuunosuke’s widened stare on him and Atsushi resisted the urge to retreat into himself, to hide, mortified, and looked up at his boyfriend, determined but gentle.


“Because Rashomon is a part of you, and I want to love and get to know every single part of you.”


Beneath his uneven silver bangs, Atsushi pursed his lips and waited for Ryuunosuke’s reaction, watching how his boyfriend slowly began to process the weight of his words, his intent, and tried to ignore the pounding of his heart at the bottom of his throat, anxious and a bit fearful. Ryuunosuke’s expressions were often infuriatingly difficult to read, and Atsushi was fortunate to be able to learn the nuances of the emotional ticks and turns his boyfriend showed slowly over time, something he was still learning.


The disbelief colored Ryuunosuke first, the subtle tightening of the lines between his eyes and then realization grew as his eyes widened, lips parting as he blinked; rarely was Ryuunosuke ever so openly emotional, but Atsushi had thrown him for such a loop with his unexpected request and now— this.


Atsushi resisted the urge to fidget and fumble with his fingers as Ryuunosuke remained silent and staring at him in apparent shock, ready to speak and croak out say something, will you or if you don’t want to that’s fine—


Covering the bottom of his face with his hand, Ryuunosuke turned his head away, coughing into his palm. “You—“ Ryuunosuke ground out, “Do you always have to say the most embarrassing things, Atsushi?”


The tips of Ryuunosuke’s ears were bright red.


After a long, slow blink, Atsushi’s eyes crinkled warmly and he laughed.


“Sorry,” he said, not that apologetic at all as Ryuunosuke’s neck began to flush pink (how cute). “I’m being honest, though.”


Ryuunosuke sighed a half-hearted, aggravated exhale as Atsushi removed his hand only to wrap around his middle, kissing his cheek. “You’re a pathetic liar, I know that you’re being honest.”


Atsushi hummed, not inclined to disagree as he rested his chin on Ryuunosuke’s shoulder. He smiled as he felt slender fingers curl around his clasped hands, pressed against Ryuunosuke’s abdomen. He allowed a comfortable silence to pass and he closed his eyes, drinking in the sound of Ryuunosuke’s breath. Ryuunosuke answer and thoughts on Atsushi’s proposition was still.. uncertain, but if Ryuunosuke did not want to—


Well, Atsushi couldn’t deny the wave of disappointment, but he understood. Just having sex where both of them were naked for the first time, Ryuunosuke feeling comfortable enough to take off his clothes and be that vulnerable was an ultimate act of trust by itself.


If Ryuunosuke was not ready to take that step— That was all right.


Atsushi was willing to let the subject drop, to change it, to get up and make tea for the both of them to have a relaxing night spent in together.  But Ryuunosuke spoke before Atsushi got the chance to.


“…You’re sure?”


Atsushi lifted his head from Ryuunosuke’s chin, blinking at his boyfriend.


Ryuunosuke turned, lips pursed and brow crinkled.


“You are.. sure, that you wish for me to use Rashomon in such a way?” He repeated, the words halting and unsure.


Atsushi sat up, shifting so that he could take Ryuunosuke’s hand once more as his heart began to race in anticipation. He swallowed, pink dusting along his cheeks. “Yes. I’m sure.”


Ryuunosuke clenched his jaw tight.


“..You trust me that much?”


He said it so quietly, a mere breath or whisper, that Atsushi wondered for a moment if he’d misheard. When he realized that he didn’t, his chest constricted and he sighed, bumping his elbow gently against Ryuunosuke’s, earning an offended look that he ignored.


Atsushi frowned, taking his boyfriend’s hand once more. He squeezed it tight, admonishing. “..I trust you to watch my back whenever we’re out on an assignment together. I trusted you to abide by our deal, and I trusted you with— everything, when we had sex for the first time. So..”


He clasped his other hand on top of Ryuunosuke’s.


“Yes, I trust you. I know that you wouldn’t hurt me.”


Not anymore.


They had since reached that point a long time ago.


Atsushi had stopped being so afraid of Rashomon when it coiled around his body, working its tendrils alongside his own ability as they faced the Russian man who always smiled with no light behind his eyes. He stopped seeing Rashomon as just a tool when he felt its pure warmth wrap around his wrists.


When he started to see Ryuunosuke as someone beyond the heartless mafioso he thought he knew,  he stopped seeing Rashomon as a monster.


Ryuunosuke trained his jaw, the subtle flickers of emotion passing over his face in the smallest of gestures, changing within seconds before he closed his eyes. He sighed, and Atsushi felt his grip tighten.


“…Okay,” Ryuunosuke murmured, “I will— consider it. For next time.”


“Y-You will?” Atsushi asked, his voice raising a half octave higher and eyes wide.


Ryuunosuke cleared his throat, covering the lower part of his mouth with a hand. His cheeks tinted red beneath his fingertips. “Yes,” he said shortly, “It’s— It’s not a terrible idea. So long as you are certain.”


“I am,” Atsushi replied, not missing a beat.


Ryuunosuke bit his bottom lip, the flush on his pale face darkening some at Atsushi’s quick response; even now, Atsushi still caught him by surprise with how.. bold he could be.


“..Very well, then.”


Ryuunosuke squeezed his hand in return and Atsushi’s lips curled into a warm smile as he kissed his boyfriend’s warm cheek.




Ryuunosuke was a light sleeper, getting three to four hours at most a night, following a sporadic schedule. His sleeping patterns had changed some since moving in with Atsushi (or Atsushi moving in with Ryuunosuke, as his boyfriend’s apartment was much larger than the old dormitory), but there were several nights that, when he did not awaken from some memories that Atsushi could not follow him to, something would wire him awake and he would sit at the edge of the bed, staring at his hands or into the darkness without seeing, unable to return to sleep, even with Atsushi’s warm body next to his. But Atsushi would notice the lack of weight next to him, the lack of warmth, and he would wake up. Ryuunosuke would feel arms wrap around his middle and a chin on his shoulder, then the light brush of lips upon his cheek. He would turn, and Ryuunosuke would kiss him in return. Many times would they kiss until they were too tired to continue on, slipping back under the sheets with their arms wrapped around one another.


Other nights, lips began to kiss along another parts of their bodies besides their mouths and faces, and hands would wander.


Any hint of sleep Atsushi might’ve had was long gone as he slid onto Ryuunosuke’s lap, his shirt hiking up as he buried his hands in the other man’s dark hair, soft and messy between his fingers, as their tongues tangled. Ryuunosuke’s breath was hot on his mouth, his breathing heavy, and his hands pressed down on Atsushi’s back with desperation.


Ryuunosuke’s sharp hips rubbing against his own sent a fire that grew in the pit of Atsushi’s belly, and he knew, they would not sleep much tonight. He didn’t care.


The sheets piled by the edge of the bed, pushed away by the movement of their feet as they came closer together, Atsushi’s fingers dipping beneath Ryuunosuke’s collar and his boyfriend’s thin fingers gripping his hips as Atsushi straddled the outside of his legs. Atsushi suckled on Ryuunosuke’s bottom lip, thumbs stroking just underneath the lobe of his ears while Ryuunosuke stuttered moans into his mouth, just as he felt those fingertips slide beneath his shirt, fingers cool against his hot skin.


Those fingers began to slide further up his chest, just inches from brushing against a nipple, and they curled, eager but hesitant. Atsushi removed a hand from Ryuunosuke’s hair and sought his wrist.


Wordless, heavily panting for air, cheeks flushed and eyes half-lidded, Atsushi and Ryuunosuke looked at each other in the darkness, the light of the city and moon pouring in through the closed blinds, and Atsushi pressed his boyfriend’s palm flat against his body. Ryuunosuke’s brow furrowed into that inquisitive crinkle that so often made Atsushi want to smooth the skin out and laugh, and Atsushi nodded with a smile.


Ryuunosuke knew without needing a verbal answer.


Atsushi’s favorite position was Ryuunosuke on his back and himself sitting on his boyfriend’s hips, watching how his dark hair splayed out on the equally dark sheets as Atsushi rode him— but Atsushi enjoyed being on his back just as much, Ryuunosuke’s long legs between his own, spreading them out, and Ryuunosuke mouthing over Atsushi’s neck as he hovered above him. Atsushi dug his fingers into Ryuunosuke’s shirt, arching his back while they ground their hips together in hard, fast snaps. His thighs clenched around Ryuunosuke’s waist and Atsushi’s mind swam with heat and pure sensation as Ryuunosuke sank his teeth into a sensitive patch of skin on his shoulder.


Ryuunosuke’s hands wandered beneath Atsushi’s shirt, making the fabric ride up along his stomach, but he didn’t try to wrench it off. He seemed to be taking his time with kissing him, and while those slender hands were tempting as always, Atsushi would never be opposed to taking their time, enjoying their long, drawn-out kisses. It was his favorite activity.


Their kisses became so drawn out and slow that Atsushi’s jaw was starting to feel sore, and his arousal that much more a present need. He moaned a whine into Ryuunosuke’s mouth when he didn’t move his hips hard enough, not fast enough, and Atsushi raised a leg to wrap around his boyfriend’s waist in an attempt to draw him closer. To make him slam his hips down in such a way that Atsushi would burn from how good it felt.


His calf pressed against the small of Ryuunosuke’s back and he raised his lower body, ready to use the leverage to his advantage—


A strangled noise left him out of surprise when something warm and smooth wrapped around his ankle in a firm hold and brought his leg back down.


Eyes snapping open, Atsushi stared at Ryuunosuke, gaping and his breath hitching sharply when he saw a black tendril stretch out of Ryuunosuke’s black shirt. Rashomon wrapped around his other ankle and brought it down to rest on the bed, and Atsushi’s stomach clenched with tight realization. Constrained against the fabric of his pants, his cock throbbed with painful hardness.


Ryuunosuke’s panting was hot against Atsushi’s mouth and small beads of sweat trickled down to his chin, flushed to his neck, but iron grey met his wide-eyed stare and Atsushi felt his serious resolve.


Atsushi,” Ryuunosuke rasped.


Swallowing, Atsushi’s heart raced in his chest and he bit his bottom lip, meeting his lover’s stare without hesitation.


Ryuunosuke licked his bottom lip, hesitating, before he murmured, “Do you want this?”


He truly was ashamed of himself for how he’d once seen Ryuunosuke; it could be argued that how could he have not felt the way he did about the man? When their first meeting had him losing a leg, when every subsequent encounter afterwards had been full of anger, bloodshed and searing hatred? Atsushi knew it was true, what Ryuunosuke was, the seriousness of what he’d done— before he understood how the man’s life had led him to this.


How he had taken the whispers of that child who feels nothing and the silent rabid dog and adopted them as true, deluding himself into becoming what everyone else already thought of him. The heartless killer that Atsushi had once called him, selfish and uncaring about anything else besides his own power.


Then Atsushi began to see the humanity beneath the beast that emerged out of Ryuunosuke’s clothing.


He knew now, more than ever, as Ryuunosuke hovered above him, Rashomon still clinging to his ankles and holding him down, not with force, waiting for his answer— Ryuunosuke was not the unfeeling rabid dog of the slums, the attack dog of the Port Mafia.


He was Akutagawa Ryuunosuke, a man haunted by sins and death who’d not allowed himself emotion, who’d learned to allow himself to feel and not be ashamed, who touched and kissed Atsushi with such gentle care that was always a little hesitant, as if he felt undeserving.


He was Akutagawa Ryuunosuke, and Atsushi loved him.


Taking his face in his hands, Atsushi raised himself up enough to kiss Ryuunosuke, lingering and tender, taking his bottom lip between his own before parting with a soft, wet noise.


“Yes,” Atsushi said. “This is what I want.”


Rashomon squeezed the flesh of Atsushi’s ankles in a tiny spasm and Atsushi’s breath hitched.


Ryuunosuke gripped one of his hands and held it in his own, leaning into his palm. “Very well,” he murmured, lips moving against Atsushi’s skin.


Lowering Atsushi’s hands from his face, he held them in his own and Ryuunosuke began to raise himself onto his knees. He melted within the darkness of their bedroom, the shadows accentuating the sharp curves and angles of his body, and Atsushi saw how Rashomon trembled within the low-cut shirt he wore, ready to burst forth. In that darkness, he saw Ryuunosuke’s eyes glimmer with a sudden rush of want and heat and Atsushi wanted to drown in it.


“Lay down on your back.”


Atsushi was all too happy to comply, the pit of his stomach coiled with heat and arousal as he shivered from the authoritative tone his lover’s voice took.


Rashomon pulsated around his ankles and spread in tendrils as Atsushi began to squirm with anticipation and eagerness, wrapping around his calves and knees to hold him still. Atsushi’s fingers dug into the sheets, making the fabric curl into his palms as he swallowed hard. The grip wasn’t forceful or painful, but Atsushi still felt its tremor through his clothing, warmth seeping into his skin.


Ryuunosuke watched with wonder and awe as Atsushi already began to make little noises as Rashomon curled further along his legs, fascinated by how flushed his face was in the darkness. Unsure what to do with his hands as Rashomon crawled towards the waistline of Atsushi’s pants, Ryuunosuke settled for curling his fingers along the back of his lover’s knees. He did not press down with the same pressure he usually did; he didn’t have to keep Atsushi’s legs spread out and still with his hands. Rashomon did that for him, and Ryuunosuke watched in rapt hunger as Atsushi raised his hips towards him, a certain bulge straining against the soft fabric of his sweatpants.


Atsushi bit his lip as the heat spread all the way to between his legs, nearly clawing into the sheets. He moaned with his mouth closed as he felt Rashomon move underneath his pants, squeezing around his thighs, feeling Ryuunosuke’s hungry stare above him that made him want to melt into the bed itself; he was almost ashamed of himself, how wrecked he felt, how wrecked he was, and they’d hardly done anything yet.


Having had enough of waiting, his cock now painfully straining against his pants, Atsushi raised a hand to go between his legs, palming at his erection and his thumb hooking into the line, ready to pull down.


Atsushi gasped sharply when a black tendril shot out of Ryuunosuke’s collar, grabbing him by the wrist before he could find relief, and brought it over Atsushi’s head. His other hand soon joined it, knotting the two together to keep them from moving. Atsushi looked at his boyfriend in astonishment.


“Let me,” Ryuunosuke rasped.


Knowing that if he were to decline, Rashomon would let go of his hands, Atsushi stared at Ryuunosuke in quiet awe, his skin hot and abdomen clenched with pure want. Swallowing hard, Atsushi curled and relaxed his fingers as he nodded.


The corner of Ryuunosuke’s mouth quirked, and Rashomon began to move.


The tendrils around his ankles and calves kept Atsushi’s legs still as Rashomon crawled along his pants. Ryuunosuke’s fingers pressed a little further into the soft flesh beneath knees as Rashomon hooked around the waistline, taking it between its teeth, and began to pull down.


“A-Ah—“ Atsushi’s breath hitched as the tip of his cock grazed against his pants as they were pulled off of him, barely able to move his legs as it slid further and further off of him, until they came to his ankles. Then, Ryuunosuke took it and tossed it over the side of the bed, his eyes never leaving the sensitive organ between Atsushi’s legs.


“You are enjoying this,” Ryuunosuke breathed, admiring the ruddy red color of Atusshi’s cock, standing high in the cool air that made Atsushi sag with a moan of relief. The tip was slick and wet with pre-cum, and achingly hard as he was, Atsushi was happy to be free of his trousers.


Atsushi flushed darkly, his ears now a deep shade of red, and he made a face at Ryuunosuke (only to earn a ghost of a smirk). “Shut up,” he grumbled, any force behind it dampened by how he gasped it out, raising his hips as Rashomon slunk up his thighs, grazing against the base of his cock. “If I could, I would kick you.”


Ryuunosuke hummed, edging forward to sit between Atsushi’s knees. His thumbs rubbed the soft underside of his lover’s knees and his lips twitched further upward. “And yet you’re still not denying that you like this.” His smirk widened as Atsushi choked on a gasp, Rashomon now coiled around the base of his cock in a teasing grip. “I wouldn’t have taken you for someone so.. obscene.”


Atsushi ground his teeth into a snarl at the teasing, earning a breathy chuckle from above him, even as his thigh muscles trembled when Rashomon tightened— just a slight— around his cock. “Thi—This is all your fault, you asshoghhnn—“


The tightening of the black coils around his erection, spreading from the base to the middle, squeezing and rubbing around the thick vein, had Atsushi cutting himself off with a ragged cry. His entire body trembled as Rashomon reacted to its master’s will, eager and determined to hear and see more, and he arched off of the sheets. His shirt rode higher along his abdomen and Atsushi jerkily rolled his hips to the pace of Rashomon’s squeezing and release, a constant pattern.


M-More, more, please—“ He gasped. “Ryuunosuke—“


Ryuunosuke’s fingers twitched against the back of Atsushi’s knees and the man himself trembled, watching the sight below him as if Atsushi were something of another world: beautiful, mesmerizing and all, all his.


Watching Atsushi writhe below him, unable to quite move his legs or his hands, watching how he rose his hips to thrust forward into Rashomon’s increasing pace, now squeezing hard around his cock so that Atsushi threw his head back onto the sheets below, open mouthed and breathing heavily, a flush spreading all the way to his chest— there was no way to describe it in words that could do the sight justice.


Rashomon had always been a part of him, a beast that lived in his clothing, a representation of some inner part of himself that he’d come to embrace as a monster that devoured everything— not the scarves that came to life to comfort Gin when the nights were cold and they were starving, giving her shadow puppet shows that made her laugh with rare joy— the part of himself that emerged as a draconic being that tore through flesh and bone. A silent, rabid beast that he’d convinced himself felt nothing, just as he did.


Atsushi wanted to feel that being around his body in such an intimate, heated space, under the cover of darkness, and through Rashomon, Ryuunosuke felt his lover’s, his tiger’s, pleasure— such a stark contrast to the black beast that would tear through Atsushi’s flesh when they first met.


How long ago that felt.


Atsushi mumbled incoherent words, words Ryuunosuke could not entirely make out as his own heart drummed loud in his ears, like a rush of water, in between moans and cries of Ryuunosuke’s name as Rashomon’s tendrils stretched out of Ryuunosuke’s shirt, lifting Atsushi’s to press and rub against rosy, erect nipples. Atsushi cried and he sunk his heels hard into the mattress, his back arching and reaching into Rashomon’s grasp as the black coils relentlessly squeezed and stroked his cock, merciless and just as determined as its master to hear Atsushi moan, to scream out his name and make him cum.


Ryuunosuke was addicted to feeling Atsushi’s skin on his hands, on his mouth and tongue, and some part of him was almost envious of his own ability, being able to create a mess out of Atsushi while he’d barely touched him at all. But Rashomon was just as much of a part of him as his hands were, an extension of his own being, and Atsushi had opened himself to its touch in a way Ryuunosuke could’ve never imagined, in a way that was just as intoxicating and pleasurable.


Atsushi trusted him so much, so much that he wanted this touch.


Warmth spread and tightened deep in Ryuunosuke’s chest, almost painful and choking him, a flood of an emotion Ryuunosuke had been too fearful of to name, now impossible to not know— and through him, Rashomon continued to pump and stroke Atsushi’s cock until the man could not take it anymore.


The tightened coil in the pit of his stomach had become so unbearable, his entire body feeling as if he were being stoked over an open flame from how hot he felt. So stimulated, from Rashomon wrapped tight around his cock, teasing him from the orgasm that so desperately wanted to come, covering the head and squeezing until Atsushi was begging Ryuunosuke not to tease him anymore.


Atsushi wanted to grab his lover’s hair, pull at the strands and tug, to feel Ryuunosuke’s hot-mouthed rasp against his skin, but Rashomon held his hands down and Atsushi felt those dark, dark eyes sear onto his skin, and it made his cock spasm with an orgasm that Rashomon stopped from coming. There was something so horribly erotic about it all— Ryuunosuke watching him, barely touching him, yet still making him feel so, so good.


His legs shook as he raised his hips higher, now so aroused and so hard it was almost bringing him to tears, choking out moans and sharp cries of Ryuunosuke’s name.


“Ryuu— Ryuunosuke, please—!” Atsushi gasped. “Please, just let me—“


“Let you what?” Ryuunosuke asked in a hoarse whisper, his hips trembling as Atsushi’s beg sank into his body. His erection strained against his pants, hardened to the point of near pain, so much that it burned. “Use your words, Atsushi, want do you want?”


Rashomon simultaneously pinched both of Atsushi’s nipples and squeezed hard around the head of his cock and Atsushi screamed.


Let me come!


Ryuunosuke’s lips curled upwards.


“Very well.”


Rashomon released Atsushi’s cock, curled loosely around the base, and Atsushi’s hips stuttered upward in a rough jerk as he came with a scream.


The wrecked cry of his name made Ryuunosuke’s ears shiver and his fingers pressed down hard enough to bruise as his cock throbbed painfully, constrained by his pants.


Entire body trembling, Atsushi slowly sank back into the sheets, sweat trickling down his forehead and silver hair sticking to his skin as he panted heavily for breath. The shocks of his orgasm, so intense and covering his thighs, stomach and chest in a complete mess, left his entire body feeling like rubber. He could’ve melted into the amazingly cool, silken sheets of their bed. In the haze of his orgasm, he vaguely felt the pressure around his cock, thighs and chest slacken, the tendrils slithering back into Ryuunosuke’s shirt.


Atsushi blearily opened his eyes, chest heaving up and down, when he felt cool lips press a soft kiss to the side of his knee.


Rashomon loosened its tendrils around his wrists and slunk back down the sides of his body, and Atsushi shakily rose his hands to Ryuunosuke’s face. Ryuunosuke leaned forward, hovering over Atsushi and met him halfway. The movement of their lips was slow and lazy, tongues meeting in a open-mouthed mess. Atsushi stroked his sharp cheekbones with his thumbs, fingers curled into the back of his neck and took Ryuunosuke’s bottom lip between his teeth in a soft moan. He smiled tiredly at Ryuunosuke’s muffled groan.


Though its grip had loosened considerably, Rashomon remained entangled around Atsushi’s legs, keeping them spread open as Ryuunosuke sat on his knees between them.


Atsushi decided that he’d missed the feeling of Ryuunosuke’s lips on his very much as they kissed, feeling Ryuunosuke’s intent in every hard press of his mouth. He shifted beneath Ryuunosuke as the feeling returned to his hips and body, and moaned into his lover’s mouth as Ryuunosuke’s palm slid along the back of his right thigh, resting on the curve of his ass in a firm hold. Atsushi sighed happily at the familiar touch and smiled into their messy kiss. When they broke for air, Atsushi’s silently stroked the dark strands of hair between his fingers and offered Ryuunosuke a warm smile.


Nuzzling their noses together, Atsushi breathed a content, lazy sigh before opening his eyes once more. When he saw the mess of his orgasm on Ryuunosuke’s shirt, the embarrassed flush returned in an instant.


“I’m sorry, I got—“ Atsushi pursed his lips, cheeks burning, “I got it all over you, Ryuu, I’m sorry—“


“It’s fine,” Ryuunosuke interjected, not unkindly. Fingertips trailed along Atsushi’s inner thighs and a shiver returned to the base of Atsushi’s hips, grazing over mess he’d made. “I don’t mind. All that it shows me is how much you enjoyed it.”


Atsushi promptly threw a spare pillow at his boyfriend to wipe the ghost of a smirk and teasing glimmer off of his face, and then used another one to bury his face into it when Ryuunosuke’s disgruntled ‘ow’ became hoarse laughter. Atsushi groaned loudly into the fabric, squeezing it against his face, absolutely mortified.


“You’re such a jerk,” Atsushi grumbled, the pillow sliding out of his grip as Ryuunosuke pulled it out of his hands. He glared at Ryuunosuke half-heartedly as thin lips pressed against his cheek and along the ridge of his brow.


“If I recall correctly,” Ryuunosuke said dryly, “This was your idea.”


“I know it was,” Atsushi sighed, his face no less flushed than before. His expression relaxed as lips trailed to his forehead, and he chanced to open his eyes, finding Ryuunosuke hovering over him, elbows propped just outside of his shoulders. Atsushi slid his hands along Ryuunosuke’s chest, just barely missing the remnants of his orgasm, and cupped the other man’s jaw.


“..I really did enjoy it,” Atsushi said softly. His lips curled upward and he leaned up enough to peck Ryuunosuke’s bottom lip. “Thank you.”


A low hum was his response, and his eyes closed as Ryuunosuke leaned down to kiss him more firmly, fingers curling into Atsushi’s hair. Sighing quietly, Atsushi leaned into the touch and Atsushi knew that he would never grow tired of kissing Ryuunosuke.


Their lips moved lazily and slowly against each other, tongues mingling briefly as both caught their breath and sensation returned to Atsushi’s body. Once he could move his legs again, energy revived, he shifted underneath Ryuunosuke to sit up, ready to divest of the shirt that was still on. As he did, his legs twisted beneath Ryuunosuke and a knee wound up brushing against the crotch of Ryuunosuke’s trousers.


He froze when Ryuunosuke suddenly spasmed above him, trembling as he hissed, his shoulders trembling and when he felt the hardness press against his knee.


In his excitement and haze of pleasure, Atsushi forgot that Ryuunosuke hadn’t climaxed. He hadn’t been touched at all, only watching from a short distance as Rashomon wrapped around Atsushi. Shame at feeling like a selfish lover filled him and with a swallow, Atsushi sat up in order to sit on his knees, nude before his boyfriend, and clenched his hands into the fabric of his shirt.


“It’s your turn, Ryuunosuke,” Atsushi murmured, “I’m sorry, I should’ve paid more attention to you—“


“Would you stop apologizing?” Ryuunosuke said, a gruff tone to mask his embarrassment and the deep flush growing on his neck. “As I said— it is fine, and I— Watching you, with Rashomon coiled around your body, touching you as I would.. brought me pleasure as well.”


He admitted it with a mumble and heat coiled in the pit of Atsushi’s stomach, adrenaline and arousal once again awakening. A flush spread to his shoulders once more, and with a faint smile, he kissed Ryuunosuke’s cheek and urged him to look at him.


“Then.. I’m, I’m glad,” Atsushi said, “I want it to feel good, for you, too. Not just me. And it felt— good, so, so good, Ryuunosuke, but I don’t want to leave you neglected. This.. isn’t just about me. So.. Ryuunosuke. Lay down on your back.”


As the sexual aspect of their relationship began to evolve, both Atsushi and Ryuunosuke discovered that Atsushi had something of a bossy streak, though when you’re in a relationship with someone as hard-headed and stubborn as Akutagawa Ryuunosuke, Atsushi defended himself in saying that he had to be bossy in order to combat it and be an equal level with him. Ryuunosuke often dryly remarked on it in order to fluster and embarrass Atsushi, making him wrinkle his nose in that adorable way that showed his aggravation.


But in moments like this, those sunset colored eyes dark in the pupil, a rich gold-purple iris circling it, hands that were still a little hesitant and shy sliding beneath his shirt and slipping fingers past the waistband of his pants, tugging them off of his hips, Ryuunosuke could find nothing in himself other than to comply and lay down on his back, admiring Atsushi in his full nakedness; those slender but strong thighs straddling his hips and legs as Atsushi tugged his pants off, slipping them off at the ankles.


It would be a long time before Ryuunosuke ever admitted it aloud, but that determined nature that belonged so perfectly to the tiger, his tiger, was just one of many things that drew Ryuunosuke to him like a magnet.


Drawing a hand to his face to shield part of his mortification at just how aroused he was, Ryuunosuke coughed lightly into his palm as his sweatpants grazed over his cock, making him shiver with a sharp, hitched breath. His erection rose high into the cool air of their bedroom, a vibrant shade of red, slick and coated with pre-cum at the tip, dark strands coating the base. Ryuunosuke hadn’t felt so hard in such a long time, and he exhaled shakily with relief as it was allowed out of the confines of his sweatpants.


Atsushi placed his hands on Ryuunosuke’s hips, earning a soft gasping inhale, and gradually put his weight on top of Ryuunosuke’s thighs, marveling at his boyfriend’s cock and swallowing, licking his bottom lip in anticipation. Propping himself up on his elbows, Ryuunosuke watched, enrapt, as Atsushi edged forward, hands splayed against Ryuunosuke’s stomach, cocks inches from touching.


Pursing his lips, Atsushi slipped his fingers underneath his black shirt and tugged upward— only to pause when Ryuunosuke stopped him, hand on his.


Brows furrowed, Atsushi looked up and saw Ryuunosuke shaking his head, gray eyes bright and intense. “Leave it on,” Ryuunosuke murmured, lowering a hand onto Atsushi’s, stalling it from movement.


Atsushi sucked in a breath, eyes wide.


Anticipation twisted in the pit of Atsushi’s stomach, and he released Ryuunosuke’s shirt. He watched as the black tendrils of Rashomon reached out, opening the drawer to the nightstand and taking the bottle out (a third used already since buying it not long ago; surely the agency would be unable to believe their vigorous sex life). Rashomon dropped it in Ryuunosuke’s palm and he unscrewed it, but before he lathered his fingers with it, he glanced up at Atsushi.


He waited, and, slowly, Atsushi understood.


Fingers squeezing Ryuunosuke’s hips, hard enough to leave light bruises, Atsushi nodded.


It took much energy to not squirm above Ryuunosuke’s legs as his lover doused his fingers in the gel. His heart beat loudly in his ears as Rashomon slid back towards him and his thighs trembled as the black tendrils wrapped around them, holding him fast and firm so that he did not fidget. Not even the sway of his hips could convince Rashomon to let go, following its master’s desires and intentions.


Rashomon’s warmth and heat spread from Atsushi’s legs to between his legs, and by the time Atsushi felt the first cool touch of the lube on his entrance, his was almost completely hard.


“Ah-Ahhh—“ Atsushi gasped, unable to squirm due to Rashomon’s hold on him, settling for a gentle thrust forward of his hips.


“Do you— ghhn— dislike it..?” Ryuunosuke asked, narrowing his eyes at Atsushi, hands on his lover’s hips as Atsushi attempted to squirm, getting used to the new form of intrusion, only to lightly grind his ass against Ryuunosuke’s thighs. The rub of skin against skin burned and Ryuunosuke wanted nothing more than for Atsushi to sink onto him already— but he would wait.


Ryuunosuke was finished with causing Atsushi unnecessary pain. He would not do so here. And if Atsushi did not want this anymore, Rashomon would retract and they would stop.


“N-No, it’s just— Mmmn..-“ Nails dug lightly into pale flesh as Atsushi trembled, shivers wracking his body as little noises left him in pants. “It’s… new. It feels nothing like your fingers.”


Rashomon had spread its grasp all the way to Atsushi’s hips, a secure clench against his rear to keep him in place as more dark tendrils spread the lube against his entrance and within, and Atsushi’s muscles clenched around the warm intrusion— it was a strange feeling, surreal to know that this was even happening


Atsushi knew he should’ve been ashamed of himself, for requesting such a thing, for imagining it in the first place, and most of all, ashamed for enjoying it.


Atsushi rubbed his ass against Ryuunosuke’s thighs and felt those fingers press further onto his hips bones and the ragged noise from his boyfriend underneath him, looked at the cock that was waiting for him to sink onto and the enrapt, darkly hooded gaze locked onto him, and Atsushi decided that he did not care.


Rashomon’s tendrils were smoother and more languid than Ryuunosuke’s fingers, like velvet, moving in a way that would not be possible for human fingers. To have Rashomon inside of him, stretching and preparing him as cool gel spread along his entrance was a surreal moment of clarity, and it felt just as good as Ryuunosuke’s fingers.


His body was unused to such a texture and to adjust to it took longer than it typically did for Ryuunosuke’s fingers to stretch him out and prepare him, but Atsushi soon found himself tilting his head back with soft noises and moans as Rashomon spread him out further, just as Ryuunosuke’s fingers would— they knew just as well as Ryuunosuke did what made Atsushi tremble, what made his thighs clench around Ryuunosuke’s hips, and what tickled that little part of himself that spread pleasure through him like fire.


Rashomon brushed against that muscle within him, heat springing beneath every pore and muscle and Atsushi’s hips spasmed within the dark hold Ryuunosuke’s ability had around him. A strangled moan left him, sharp and raising an octave, and with what movement he could make, Atsushi leaned into it.


“Ryuunosuke—“ Atsushi gasped, nails digging into Ryuunosuke’s skin enough to leave little red dents. “More—


As Rashomon stretched and teased his entrance, brushing enough against that muscle to make Atsushi’s cries, noises and shouts to increase in volume and pitch, Atsushi ceased to see Rashomon and Ryuunosuke as separate beings.


For Rashomon was just as much as a part of Ryuunosuke as his fingers were, just as much of a part of his body and being, and Atsushi would find no shame in loving it just as much as he did the rest of his lover.


Unable to keep his hands still, Ryuunosuke began to glide his hands over the front of Atsushi’s body, drinking in how he attempted to writhe in Rashomon’s tight hold, eyes firmly shut and open-mouthed as he was being prepared. He was now so hard it was unbearable, but Ryuunosuke could not stop watching Atsushi. His fingers moved upward and rubbed over the rosy, tender skin of Atsushi’s erect nipples, making Atsushi jolt and keen a loud whine at the stimulation.


Greedily, he stroked along the slender, lithe plane of Atsushi’s abdomen and chest as Atsushi arched into his touch.


Ryuunosuke’s hands slid back downwards, purposefully avoiding the erect cock pressing against Atsushi’s stomach, making Atsushi whine loudly, to settled on his rear in a firm hold. “Does it feel good?” Ryuunosuke rasped.


Atsushi made a noise that was practically a mewl, jutting his hips in aborted thrusts, held back by Rashomon. “S-So good—“ Atsushi gasped, “This is— unfair, Ryuunosuke, it feels so good— It’s like you’re i-inside me already, ahhhh—“


Rashomon pressed down harder on that muscle that flooded Atsushi with white-hot sensation, and with a clench of his muscles, Atsushi screamed.


Not for the first time was Ryuunosuke glad to have a sound-proof apartment, for Atsushi’s noises and shouts only grew louder the longer they went, Rashomon stretching, pressing and squeezing Atsushi’s legs, and Ryuunosuke’s pressing down hard on his skin. Somewhere in the haze of heat and feeling, Atsushi recalled just who had yet to climax and breathily rasped wait, wait, not yet—


Ryuunosuke glanced up at him, lines around his eyes drawn tight in confusion, and Atsushi pursed his lips. He looked down and his hands moved downward from his boyfriend’s hips.


Ryuunosuke’s hips stuttered and he gave a strangled gasp when Atsushi’s fingers grasped the base of his cock, circling his fingers around the hot, sensitive and maddeningly hard flesh.


“I don’t— I don’t want to cum yet,” Atsushi breathed, voice hoarse already, “Not— Not before you do, not before you’re inside. I— want to feel it.”


Amongst many other things that Atsushi was often too flustered to say aloud about what he liked about their intimate moments together, the feeling of Ryuunosuke climaxing inside of him, filling him utterly— it was obscene and it was addictive. And he only wanted more.


Ryuunosuke strained to not buck his hips into Atsushi’s hands as the cool gel was spread over his cock, Atsushi gently batting away his hands, insisting with a soft, but firm, ‘let me.’ Even more difficult was it to not climax as those soft fingers briefly stroked over the length of his arousal, but Ryuunosuke held fast and waited.


Atsushi blinked and gave an ‘oh!’ as Rashomon pulled him closer before he could even shift, exposing Ryuunosuke’s eagerness and anticipation. He shuddered as he felt Rashomon slip out of him, returning to the tendrils that remained wrapped firmly around his thighs and waist, and moaned, his mouth closed and lips pursed. The pillows against his back and nape kept Ryuunosuke propped up as Atsushi was brought closer, until he was hovering just over the head of Ryuunosuke’s cock.


Gray and gold-purple met, and a hand sought out a paler one, lacing their fingers together.


Atsushi squeezed Ryuunosuke’s hand tight and his smile was warm and wide.


With a deep inhale, Atsushi used his other hand to steady Ryuunosuke’s cock, and lowered onto it.


Fuck—,” Ryuunosuke groaned, eyes clenched shut as Atsushi’s muscles immediately clenched around his cock, tight and so so hot that Ryuunosuke wanted to raise his hips up and thrust hard into him already. His entire body trembled as he refrained, and Atsushi gave a sharp cry as his lover’s full girth filled him, before it elongated into a content sigh.


There was a pause as both caught their breath, tremors leaving their bodies as they adjusted, respectively. Rashomon’s hold on him was loose enough now for Atsushi to shift, making Ryuunosuke hiss with each movement, legs twitching beneath Atsushi.


Hands slid along Ryuunosuke’s abdomen and Atsushi held his lover’s stare, heavily and pupil blown with lust, and he rolled his hips downward; slow and hard.


Rashomon tightened around Atsushi’s thighs, squeezing his flesh and earning a sharp, high-pitched moan as Ryuunosuke’s louder one joined his, cock twitching deep within Atsushi. Nails dug into Atsushi’s skin and he cried out as Ryuunosuke used the leverage Rashomon provided, holding him in place, as he raised his lower body in a hard upward thrust.


“R-Ryuu-!” Atsushi cried out, the noise choking itself with a moan as Ryuunosuke moved upwards again; he relished in how Ryuunosuke felt, so warm and leaving him so full, those sharp, narrow hips snapping into his body in that way he so adored.


Even in Rashomon’s hold, Atsushi attempted to match the increasing pace of Ryuunosuke’s thrusts, rolling his hips down in rough, hard grinds as he rode Ryuunosuke’s cock. He watched the arch of Ryuunosuke’s back as he drank it in, how tight and warm he was for him, squeezing his muscles around his cock to make him truly feel it, to make Ryuunosuke feel as good as he made him.


A chorus of moans, cries and shouts intertwined with the slap of skin on skin, their breaths hot and ragged as Atsushi continued to ride Ryuunosuke. Their stubborn, nigh competitive wills matched one another as Ryuunosuke bucked his hips in a rhythm to match Atsushi’s.


Biting his lower lip nearly hard enough to break the skin, Ryuunosuke held the back of Atsushi’s knees as he changed the angle of his hips— and the corner of his mouth curled when Atsushi spasmed with a cry of his name so loud it sank into his bones.


Atsushi clenched hard around Ryuunosuke and he arched his back with a moan so loud that his throat ached.


More, more“ Atsushi demanded, voice lowering, so ragged and hoarse.


“The tiger is so demanding, isn’t he” Ryuunosuke rasped, smirking faintly, “Even when he’s writhing around my cock.”


Shut u— ahh—!”


Any attempts to squirm were halted by Rashomon wrapping more fully around Atsushi’s legs until his heels pressed against his backside. The tendrils wrapped tight around his flesh, keeping him firmly seated on top of Ryuunosuke’s cock and Atsushi grumbled about how unfair he was before he cut himself off with another loud cry as Ryuunosuke thrusted upwards, right into that spot that made Atsushi wordlessly moan and tremble with sheer pleasure and heat.


Though he could not move as much, Atsushi retaliated with each clench and squeeze of his muscles around Ryuunosuke’s cock, until Ryuunosuke was the one shouting his name as he clenched his jaw in a hard grind, shaking. Over and over again, he aimed for that one spot and Atsushi could only soundlessly open and close his mouth, so obscenely, as Ryuunosuke hit that deep part of him with relentless fervor.


Nails dragged along Ryuunosuke’s chest like claws as Atsushi hunched over, his shoulders shaking with tremors.


“C-Close, Ryuunosuke— so close so close oh god—-“ he keened.


Ryuunosuke could only respond in a mantra of Atsushi’s name, his voice wrecked and gone as Atsushi’s heat swallowed him whole. From how Ryuunosuke’s cock twitched violently inside of him, Atsushi knew— he was close, too.


It all hit Atsushi at once— the hard squeeze of Rashomon on his body, keeping him down as Ryuunosuke pounded into him, hitting him so hard that he could not help but scream— and he was gone.


Any words besides Ryuunosuke’s name, ripping out of him, were lost to him as Atsushi could take it no longer, and all of the heat within him released. He came, and he came hard against his boyfriend’s stomach, his own, and even his chest. His voice echoed in their bedroom and pure heat filled his entire body as the aftershock of climax consumed him.


His skin tingled at the almost distant cry of his own name, broken and strangled, wrenched out of Ryuunosuke, and he shuddered as Ryuunosuke came inside of him. He sighed, his body going slack; never did he feel so full.


Rashomon slowly slid away from Atsushi’s body completely, retreating back into Ryuunosuke’s shirt until it was gone completely. On shaky legs, reddened and bruising from Rashomon’s tight hold, Atsushi raised himself off of Ryuunosuke’s cock, a gasp stuttering out of him. Then, his body feeling as heavy as lead, he collapsed beside a heavily breathing Ryuunosuke. A pleasant numbness spread from his hips downward, and Atsushi curled up beside his his lover, still attempting to catch his breath.


Atsushi smiled lazily as Ryuunosuke panted for steady breath against his forehead, eyes closed as the exhaustion caught up with him. They didn’t open again until after the body beside him shifted, and shaky fingertips brushed damp silver strands away from his sweat-laden forehead.


Iron gray bore into his own as that hand, so cool to the touch on his hot body, cupped the side of his face. A thumb stroked the curve of his cheek and Atsushi giggled breathily. Tired, but happily sated, Atsushi reached up to touch his chin, fingertips just grazing over Ryuunosuke’s swollen bottom lip, and leaned up to kiss him softly.


“Thank you, Ryuu,” Atsushi whispered.


Ryuunosuke said nothing, but the press of his lips to Atsushi’s forehead said more than enough.


Too hot for him to keep wearing his shirt, Ryuunosuke quickly, if somewhat clumsily, rid himself of it before he wrapped his arms around Atsushi’s waist, drawing him in close. He didn’t care about the mess on both of their bodies, despite Atsushi’s half-hearted protests, and instead swallowed them with another soft kiss. Atsushi surrendered without complaint, accepting and returning the kiss with delight.


They would have continued kissing, chests pressed against each other and legs entangled, but lack of sleep and their exhausted bodies caught up with them before things could progress further once more. Black and silver hair mingled together, Atsushi’s forehead pressed against Ryuunosuke’s chin as sleep overcame them both, their holds on each other’s bodies firm and tight, reluctant to ever let go.


He murmured the words he’d yet to say aloud, soundless and silent, against Ryuunosuke’s skin. He hoped they would reach him


Ryuunosuke’s arms squeezed tight around him, and Atsushi liked to believe that the sentiment was returned, that his feelings came through to the man he’d once thought as so heartless and unfeeling.


Atsushi knew better, now.


His heart full and warm, body tired and satiated, Atsushi looked forward to relearning how wrong he’d once been, over and over again, for he knew this would not be the only time they would make love like this. And there was still so much he had to learn about the man that was Akutagawa Ryuunosuke.


He could not wait.